whichwayisup Posted February 25, 2007 Posted February 25, 2007 I think common sense is huge here. You know if you're attractive. I know the impact I have on men, so I know WHY he's flirting with me. what he wants, on the other hand, is the question. why I care? Because I am tempted. For the first time ever while being married. That doesn't mean I would actually go through with it. I have no doubt he has fantasized about me because if he has warm blood running through his veins, he probably has. I know the impact I have on men. Read the other thread I posted, I wrote a long post about why I'm here, why I haven't mentioned my family. I left a huge part out of this, I don't want to get into my marriage or family life not because I don't care, but because I don't care to discuss this with strangers that don't know anything about me. All I wanted to know was what went inside this guy's head. I know he's attracted to me. The question, again is WHY. and ultimately, I am the one that has to make the decision. But just because I don't open up about my entire family history with you guys doesn't mean I don't care. There's a lot to consider here. I just don't feel the need to consider this out loud with people that don't know me and only show hostility towards me. What is there to consider seeing as you're married with children? Bottomline, you're confused, this guy has your attention, you feel something obviously and toying with the idea of making a play for him - You wanna know 'what type' of flirting he is doing so that way IF he is after the same thing you are, "IT" will happen. I think that you're not 100% sure of his intentions because you don't want to make a play for him and have him say NO to you, and feel foolish. I feel sad for your husband. Seems he isn't enough for your ego.
HennyPenny Posted February 25, 2007 Posted February 25, 2007 I admit I'm here because I'm being tempted continuously by the attentions, flirtations, mind games of a married man. I don't think I'm all that attractive and find it extremely flattering that a man like him would look at me twice. I know the reason why I'm tempted is because I'm insecure enough to think that this might be the best I can do. I am tempted, but I have not let my guard down. I don't see it happening. For one thing, he's behaving in a way that leads me to believe that he wants me to be the pursuer, and that will never happen. I'm sure this is to absolve him of some of the guilt if we did get into a PA. It makes me question his character enough to keep me from crossing that line. I believe that the women here who appear to brag about the flirtations of married men and how men find them irresistable are more insecure than I am (and that's saying a lot.) I'm not proud that I'm flattered by him when I know what kind of games he's playing.
sb129 Posted February 25, 2007 Posted February 25, 2007 Good post HennyPenny. I like your honesty. Are you in a relationship yourself? Good for you for standing firm. I think you can find other people attractive if you are in a relationship, but encouraging it, entertaining it and dissecting it to the point of overanalysis is concerning.
whichwayisup Posted February 25, 2007 Posted February 25, 2007 I know the reason why I'm tempted is because I'm insecure enough to think that this might be the best I can do. I hope you can work on your self esteem and become more secure. Enjoying some nice comments from the opposite sex, married or not is fine, but letting yourself be tempted because you feel you can't do any better isn't good. You will feel worse in the future if you choose to explore something with him. NO good can come of it, even if it feels good now.
silktricks Posted February 25, 2007 Posted February 25, 2007 I'm not proud that I'm flattered by him when I know what kind of games he's playing. Anyone is flattered when a person of the opposite sex pays attention. That is certainly nothing to be ashamed of!!
silktricks Posted February 25, 2007 Posted February 25, 2007 I know the impact I have on men, so I know WHY he's flirting with me. you sound just the teensiest bit arrogant All I wanted to know was what went inside this guy's head. Well, then talk to the guy. We're not him. Maybe he thinks you're so HOT. But then, maybe he's a scientist who's doing a study of the strange habit of exercise fanatics, and is thinking of you as a specimen. I know he's attracted to me. The question, again is WHY. and ultimately, I am the one that has to make the decision. but you said that you knew WHY. I dunno, it seems to me that maybe you just really want somebody to brag about this to, can't do it with your family or your friends, so chose a bunch of people who don't know you. The kicker, though, is none of us here thinks that it's much to brag about.
whichwayisup Posted February 25, 2007 Posted February 25, 2007 You say too, that you think most of us are judging you - Then why don't ya tell your husband about all this? You think he'll react less different than us? (I think personally, he'd be completely UPSET at you and pissed off!) Or talk to your family members, parents, sister/brother, close friends...You really believe they will help you feed your ego by telling you what you want to hear?? I think not. If you feel judged now, go ahead and talk those I've mentioned above...Then come back here and feel how UNjudged you feel by all of us. Trust me, words on a screen from strangers is ALOT different than a real face to face conversation with ones you are close to.
HennyPenny Posted February 25, 2007 Posted February 25, 2007 I have had one previous relationship that didn't exactly do wonders for my self-esteem. As a result I'm very reluctant to trust any man who shows interest in me. I think this MM finds this a great challenge and is so incredibly kind and gentle and thoughful (complimentary, chivalrous, gorgeous, sweet) that even though I make a conscious effort to resist, he can sense my weakness. I'm horrified at times when I find myself placing trust in him. At times like this (when I'm not around him) I talk so much sense to myself that I'm able to get through it. When I feel like he's pouring it on a little thick, I avoid him like the plague. I've learned to NEVER LOOK DIRECTLY INTO THE EYES. Any woman in my position (or similar positions, such as ilikepink) should try it. I can feel his eyes on me all the time, but I either turn around or leave the room if I find myself being sucked in. I believe that what these MM do is seek the weak one in the herd and zero in, much like a hungry lion (someone else here made that analogy, it's so appropriate.) Even if you have all this confidence and know how attractive you are and how men fall all over themselves to flirt with you, there's a weakness there that they can sense. Maybe you're in a relationship that's not satisfying to you. Maybe you have rock-bottom self-esteem. Maybe both. I flirt harmelessly with lots of men (I'm actually a pretty bad flirt) but there's a difference. I know when someone is having fun, or testing the waters, or actively pursuing me. I think most people can sense this. Listen to your instincts and use your brain. The one in your head. If I listened to the "brain" between my legs my life would be a disaster.
ilovepink Posted February 25, 2007 Posted February 25, 2007 I have had one previous relationship that didn't exactly do wonders for my self-esteem. As a result I'm very reluctant to trust any man who shows interest in me. I think this MM finds this a great challenge and is so incredibly kind and gentle and thoughful (complimentary, chivalrous, gorgeous, sweet) that even though I make a conscious effort to resist, he can sense my weakness. I'm horrified at times when I find myself placing trust in him. At times like this (when I'm not around him) I talk so much sense to myself that I'm able to get through it. When I feel like he's pouring it on a little thick, I avoid him like the plague. I've learned to NEVER LOOK DIRECTLY INTO THE EYES. Any woman in my position (or similar positions, such as ilikepink) should try it. I can feel his eyes on me all the time, but I either turn around or leave the room if I find myself being sucked in. I believe that what these MM do is seek the weak one in the herd and zero in, much like a hungry lion (someone else here made that analogy, it's so appropriate.) Even if you have all this confidence and know how attractive you are and how men fall all over themselves to flirt with you, there's a weakness there that they can sense. Maybe you're in a relationship that's not satisfying to you. Maybe you have rock-bottom self-esteem. Maybe both. I flirt harmelessly with lots of men (I'm actually a pretty bad flirt) but there's a difference. I know when someone is having fun, or testing the waters, or actively pursuing me. I think most people can sense this. Listen to your instincts and use your brain. The one in your head. If I listened to the "brain" between my legs my life would be a disaster. YES, YES, YES. omg I absolutely love all your posts. You are SO wise. You're right. I know I'm attractive, but this guy, he senses my weakness for something that I'm clearly not getting at home. I think I have been very vulnerable to him, you are so right. It's like he KNOWS what to do to make me look at him, give him attention. It's scary and now that I think about it, I feel extremely vulnerable to him. It really doesn't matter that I'm attractive, and I'm sorry if I sounded arrogant. It's that this particular guy knows how to make me vulnerable. Amazing considering he doesn't even know me.
sb129 Posted February 25, 2007 Posted February 25, 2007 But why are you vulnerable ILovePink? What is it that you aren't telling us? Right now, I wouldn't even notice if another man was giving me the eye. Thats how besotted I am with my man. And I have been terribly insecure in the past. Its just all gone now. Is everything OK with you and your husband?
Woggle Posted February 25, 2007 Posted February 25, 2007 The truly sad part is that her husband is probably crazy about her but that does not matter and she could care less but some guy looking to cheat on his wife shows her attention and it gets her all hot and bothered. Why do these women always push away the men that really do care?
Author puddleofmud Posted February 25, 2007 Author Posted February 25, 2007 Thanks for all the responses to this thread however I wish to state that this thread was begun (by me) simply because I was somewhat suspicious about similar threads being posted within the very recent past. Though, the recent may be quite genuine, I have noticed that too many are quite similar in content (and the "gym" scenario is all too common). Correct me if I am not good at remembering the exact contents of these threads but they are so seemingly familiar that I had begun to suspect that PERHAPS something is not "quite right", here? I highly doubt that so many are going to the gym or anything like and needing to know "why" a MM would be flirting with them in order to know...what, exactly? As well, it would seem that most of these may be baiting and more about how to begin to persue an affair which makes me, as a member of this forum, very uncomfortable as I don't feel this is what this forum is about... Again, ILP may be very genuine and I do apologize if I may have stepped on her toes regarding this as she may not know the history behind these types of threads. Yet, it does seem odd that so many are so similar in content...???
silktricks Posted February 25, 2007 Posted February 25, 2007 To be honest, I figured that so many were similar because of so many similar situations. . . i.e. people looking to cheat. though you may well be right and we've been baited - and that's the question isn't it - what exactly is it that they want to know? That people cheat? whoo, there's a breakthrough!!
pricillia Posted February 25, 2007 Posted February 25, 2007 I have had one previous relationship that didn't exactly do wonders for my self-esteem. As a result I'm very reluctant to trust any man who shows interest in me. I think this MM finds this a great challenge and is so incredibly kind and gentle and thoughful (complimentary, chivalrous, gorgeous, sweet) that even though I make a conscious effort to resist, he can sense my weakness. I'm horrified at times when I find myself placing trust in him. At times like this (when I'm not around him) I talk so much sense to myself that I'm able to get through it. When I feel like he's pouring it on a little thick, I avoid him like the plague. I've learned to NEVER LOOK DIRECTLY INTO THE EYES. Any woman in my position (or similar positions, such as ilikepink) should try it. I can feel his eyes on me all the time, but I either turn around or leave the room if I find myself being sucked in. I believe that what these MM do is seek the weak one in the herd and zero in, much like a hungry lion (someone else here made that analogy, it's so appropriate.) Even if you have all this confidence and know how attractive you are and how men fall all over themselves to flirt with you, there's a weakness there that they can sense. Maybe you're in a relationship that's not satisfying to you. Maybe you have rock-bottom self-esteem. Maybe both. I flirt harmelessly with lots of men (I'm actually a pretty bad flirt) but there's a difference. I know when someone is having fun, or testing the waters, or actively pursuing me. I think most people can sense this. Listen to your instincts and use your brain. The one in your head. If I listened to the "brain" between my legs my life would be a disaster. OMG You have two brains... wow
HennyPenny Posted February 25, 2007 Posted February 25, 2007 Honestly, have I offended you somehow before?
Trialbyfire Posted February 25, 2007 Posted February 25, 2007 [/b] OMG You have two brains... wow Hey pricillia, I have two brains as well. There's a reason why they call one the little brain. It only has one focus and it's quite determined to be...fulfilled...
pricillia Posted February 25, 2007 Posted February 25, 2007 Hey pricillia, I have two brains as well. There's a reason why they call one the little brain. It only has one focus and it's quite determined to be...fulfilled... You have two brains too... Damm!!! I never thought of it that way. I just thought that maybe men did but not a woman.
Trialbyfire Posted February 25, 2007 Posted February 25, 2007 You have two brains too... Damm!!! I never thought of it that way. I just thought that maybe men did but not a woman. Yeah baybee, I confess. It tries to drive sometimes but has no license 'cause it can't read, write or be logical.
pricillia Posted February 25, 2007 Posted February 25, 2007 Yeah baybee, I confess. It tries to drive sometimes but has no license 'cause it can't read, write or be logical. Well for me as a woman, I think of her as part of me... intertwined but not an extension.
Trialbyfire Posted February 25, 2007 Posted February 25, 2007 Well for me as a woman, I think of her as part of me... intertwined but not an extension. I can't decide how to play with that pricillia. Methinks it will get me in trouble with the opposite gender if I try and be accused of male bashing, so..... Safe response. Yes, you are right.
pricillia Posted February 25, 2007 Posted February 25, 2007 I can't decide how to play with that pricillia. Methinks it will get me in trouble with the opposite gender if I try and be accused of male bashing, so..... Safe response. Yes, you are right. Youre.... safe... Anothr nice play by TF:p
Trialbyfire Posted February 25, 2007 Posted February 25, 2007 Youre.... safe... Anothr nice play by TF:p Hahaha... *packs up her marbles and runs home*
pricillia Posted February 25, 2007 Posted February 25, 2007 Hahaha... *packs up her marbles and runs home* cute!!! really cute... I would have just said cute but my message was too short... so for the sake of making my message acceptable I added the really cute to the cute!!! just for the hell of it.
Trialbyfire Posted February 25, 2007 Posted February 25, 2007 cute!!! really cute... I would have just said cute but my message was too short... so for the sake of making my message acceptable I added the really cute to the cute!!! just for the hell of it. Thanks...thanks...thanks....
pricillia Posted February 25, 2007 Posted February 25, 2007 As far as the OT goes... I think that some MM, not all will flirt to see how far they can get... I have to say I never was the type to gush over attention from a MM, it is unwelcome and unwanted, heck most attention from a man is unwelcome and unwanted... Talk to me yes, get to know me yes... but the hitting on me and the unwanted closeness.. I can go without. If I like a man then he will know and I will invite him "so to speak" or give him the green light... all others beware... LOL
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