Spinderella Posted February 24, 2007 Posted February 24, 2007 it was my idea to break up AND i felt i had good reason to do so. i was extremely self sufficient before this relationship, i could almost definetly get back together with him, so why am i feeling worse and worse by the day? i feel so sad, i just cant seem to shake it.
aaaaaiiiiieeeee Posted February 24, 2007 Posted February 24, 2007 How long were you guys together? Just wondering b/c although I know this can't be true, I've always felt that as the dumper one does not feel any pain.
Spinderella Posted February 24, 2007 Posted February 24, 2007 not very long really, about 7 months in total. sometimes people dump because they realise that things in the relationship will never be right, maybe because of the other person or sometimes because of themselves, usually a combination of the two, but there might also be things about the relationship (and the person) that they loved. being the dumper means that you cant really express those feelings, because from your viewpoint it is messy and pointless to do so. the other person would only gain hope from this, and really you know that those things that made you end it arent going to change.
Trialbyfire Posted February 24, 2007 Posted February 24, 2007 Dumpers can feel bad too. For example, you need commitment and he/she won't give it. The two of you have core requirements for the relationship that will never meet, therefore there's no reason to stay in a dead-end relationship so you dump him/her. It doesn't mean that the dumper doesn't continue to love the other person and be experiencing the pain of separation and loss.
Guest Posted February 24, 2007 Posted February 24, 2007 Spin, Thank you for your insight. Being the dumpee after almost 3 yrs relationship I needed to read what you wrote today. Thank you again. Is there anyway you both could solve the problem(s)? Can I ask if you were sure when you ended it? I always heard when a woman decides to end a relationship by the time the breakup happens she knows she's done. If you are having a bad day or week or month knowing there will be no reconillation then I'll just send you a big hug.
Guest Posted February 26, 2007 Posted February 26, 2007 My bf and I just broke up. It was something that was never going to work out. We were together for almost 4 years and I wanted more and he was unsure if he even wanted that. We didn't even live together. Anyways, even though I initiated the break up, I am torn up inside. I am still crying and upset and really hurt. So, yes, the dumper does hurt! It's only natural to have some kind of pain....you loved this person.
Recommended Posts