Diver012 Posted July 1, 2006 Posted July 1, 2006 ...and by yourself, what emotions do you go through specifically? Maybe if others heard that they are not the only ones feeling a certain way, it will help someone to realize that what they are feeling is natural, and temporary. Maybe it will help them realize they aren't alone... When I am alone, I have get a feeling that ill never find someone that will make me feel that special again. I feel like I am destined to be alone I feel incapable of being loved I feel lost in my life I feel like if I were only more interesting, if I met more people somehow, but cant quite figure out how to do it, I could move on quicker... These feelings come and go, it just takes time. Its hardest when I sit here on the weekends by myself. The mind makes itself go crazy...
Guest Posted July 1, 2006 Posted July 1, 2006 I feel like all the crap I have ever been through in my life was worth it all, just to be able to meet and have a short relationship with my ex. I feel what I have lost can never be replaced. I feel, what is the point in bouncing back (as I usually do), what is the point in being positive, taking the right action and possibly finding a future relationship again, to have the same possible ending as the last, out of the blue, for no reason. I was happier than I have ever been before I met her, I did not realise I could get any happier...until I met her. I feel any further partner could never be trusted, could walk away the next day,....I should not give my all any more, refrain from investing any feelings into anyone. I feel TOTALLY destroyed as a person....I know I am a good person, know I am worthy of being loved, etc and question why this happened every minute of the days gone by (now 3 months) I look for strong places to hang myself from, search the internet for "easy ways out", yet know I will do nothing,...I will get myself through this, yet for what?....what do I take from this? God works in mysterious ways, I'm buggered if I see any positive points from any of this....It has made me recluse, want to be alone, not enjoy life as I used to, not want to be around my friends, not want to be happy, afraid to talk to my friends any longer about it all..... any time I am happy, some bizzare thought brings everything back to me, throwing me into tears, yet again. I feel lost, inhuman and lifeless.....I will continue to go forwards, I cant help looking back, but question what going forwards is going to achieve now, other than being able to be happy being single for the rest of my life?
Author Diver012 Posted July 2, 2006 Author Posted July 2, 2006 I cant say I havent had each and everyone one of those feelings. It sucks. I hate them too. Its a comfort to me atleast knowing that it is a natural reaction to rejection and loss that most people have... and these people do move on with their lives. I think going through these things and coming out the other side feeling ok makes us stronger, and even more attractive.
AriaIncognito Posted July 2, 2006 Posted July 2, 2006 I feel like I'll always be alone. I feel like I'll never find someone that will live up to my ex. (which has proven wrong many times but I always think it anyway) I feel like I'll never find someone who will accept me the way an ex did. I feel like I'm alone in general. I feel lonely, wanting to share intimate moments and conversations with a s/o again. Basically, I just feel like what I had was the "best thing I'll ever get" and the next relationship will never measure up. I'm definitely in that mindset right now. My ex isn't perfect, by any means, but well, I felt like he was perfect for me. Jennifer
RecordProducer Posted July 2, 2006 Posted July 2, 2006 I feel like I am all on my own. I feel like it will take centuries for me to feel great, but I will only live half a century more if I am lucky. I feel like I can never feel fully close to anyone like I am with myself or with my children, but they are only 7 years old. I feel depressed, unmotivated, sad, lazy... I feel like I need to jump and do something for myself. I feel like isolating from everyone, but craving a warm refuge in someone at the same time. Solution: I think it was a brilliant advice what you said, Diver, that we must understand that it's only temporary. Indeed, when something hurts you and you know it will go away soon (e.g. stomachache), you don't feel crushed, you just try to endure the pain. the problem with emotional pain is that we always feel like it's never going to disappear. But it does go away too. I think people should keep themselves busy too. That not only distracts your mind from the problems, but also makes you feel "spent" (energy-wise), useful, fulfilled, and tired in a nice way. When I say busy, I don't mean busy vacuuming or watching TV or cleaning. i mean going places, doing 100 things a day, talking to many people, pursuing hobbies, working... Keep your adrenaline busy, not your hands!
Guest Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 I've spent my entire life without being as close to someone as I was with my ex. I've had several long-term relationships that didn't have that kind of closeness. No one has ever gotten me the way he did, aside from several good friends who will never be more than friends. I was fine before him, settled with the fact that I'll never have that kind of connection with anyone. Then he came along...even with his issues...even our flaws complimented each others. And I know there will never be anyone else. I'm attractive, intelligent, and constantly meeting new opportunities that I have no interest in...because there is no one like him. I force myself to trudge through the remainder of my life, often pretending I am fine, constantly seeking distractions. I hate this. There are three options that I can see: maybe someday he will return, I will encounter some miracle time warp that will place me before the time I was with him, or it will all just end. Nothing makes me happy anymore, because I have never been as happy as I was with him-if it weren't for him, I'd never know this. Part of me thinks I could get him back in a heartbeat, but I don't pursue that, because...what if I can't. We've been in NC for 3 months now. He is living with an old girlfriend of his. He periodically calls. I don't answer. He no longer leaves VMs. I saw him driving the other day. I was happily talking on the phone and was right in the middle of hollering out the window to a hot guy. I happened to look up and saw his car approaching. He was smiling broadly. Until he got close enough to see I wasn't smiling because I had seen him. I've made him think I'm happy, having a good time without him. It's all bs. I smile and laugh a lot, but it's not real. It's all an act. I'm dying inside. Much of his behavior is of the type that warrants a break up...people don't put up with that crap. I've tolerated so much less from everyone else. I understand his actions...because he is so much like me. 37 years and lots of real living in this world, and I KNOW there will never be anyone else that will come close. The only person who knows me better than him is me.
Tim'sAngel Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 I feel anger: Angry that people have hurt me in the past Anger at myself for letting people hurt me I feel fear: Fear that I won't amount to anything in the future Fear that I will instill all of my negitive thinking and bad habits on my son Fear that one day I will be all alone again I feel trapped: Trapped by my own mind that is sometimes like a torture chamber Trapped inside emotions I thought I had swallowed a long time ago Trapped by fear of stepping out of my shell and shaking off my social anxiety Trapped by memories of how things used to be. (I think that is what bothers me the most) And last but not least, I feel completely alone. I could be in the middle of a super Walmart and still feel like I am the only one on the planet. This makes me feel guilty because I know people care about me like my SO, my son, my parnets, my close friends and family. Yet when I am at my deepest darkest moments, I feel completely alone.
alphamale Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 Yet when I am at my deepest darkest moments' date=' I feel completely alone.[/quote'] Life is a solitary struggle.
No Foolin Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 Mainly I feel severe vodka intoxication…….. But even drunk I have a point to make, lol. Life in general is just one long away game. What you choose to make of that game is up to you. Yeeesssss, we all roll through this rigged card game alone. But, what a game it is. I live my life by a very simple maxim: If you can’t write an entertaining book (that people will read) about your life; then what the hell are you doing? Don’t spend too much time all grimaced on your present situation; rather, go get what you want. Dream, Plan, then rock the house. I’m tellin ya kids, the biggest tragedy in my world is a cat wasting time thinking about what you don’t have and missing what you might have acquired. Pointing out that you feel alone is like pointing out that you have a shirt in your closet (everybody is or has at least one). It’s one of those “no sh*t” things. The point is: you got some time to yourself now (this is a good thing). You now have time to figure out how you want to play yer cards. There are a whole fannypack full of people on this forum that have rolled out of this dark place. Save yourself/know yourself/believe in yourself………..and don’t attempt to light a gas grill with a cigarette in your mouth. Happy 4th of July kids. No Foolin
crazy_grl Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 Even though I try to stay positive and I mostly enjoy being single, I can't always stop the negative thoughts from coming in. And usually they start flooding in in the form of a panic attack as soon as I start to really like someone. Works like magic for staying single. I feel like: I'll always be alone I'll never be able to get close to someone without scaring them away. I can't trust anyone. Everything is pointless. I'll never go anywhere or be anything. I'm not as good as everyone else. I want to get away from everyone and hide. I want someone to hug me. No one can ever love someone as broken and neurotic as me. If a guy really knew me, he wouldn't want to be with me. But I know that the only person responsible for my own happiness is me, so I have to drag myself out of it, or I really will end up alone and a failure like I'm afraid of.
Pyro Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 ...and by yourself, what emotions do you go through specifically? Maybe if others heard that they are not the only ones feeling a certain way, it will help someone to realize that what they are feeling is natural, and temporary. Maybe it will help them realize they aren't alone... When I am alone, I have get a feeling that ill never find someone that will make me feel that special again. I feel like I am destined to be alone I feel incapable of being loved I feel lost in my life I feel like if I were only more interesting, if I met more people somehow, but cant quite figure out how to do it, I could move on quicker... These feelings come and go, it just takes time. Its hardest when I sit here on the weekends by myself. The mind makes itself go crazy... Each and everyone of us will have negative feelings come and go throughout our lives. It is a constant struggle but it can be conquered. Concentrate on what good things you have going for you. Realize what you possess that makes you like you for who you are. Use those qualities to enjoy a fullfilling life.
alphamale Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 There are a whole fannypack full of people on this forum that have rolled out of this dark place. oh...I always thought you could check out of LS anytime you wanted but you could never leave. Sorta like that hotel california
Tim'sAngel Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 oh...I always thought you could check out of LS anytime you wanted but you could never leave. Sorta like that hotel california LOL already tried to leave and got sucked back in like a vacuum cleaner!!
alphamale Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 LOL already tried to leave and got sucked back in like a vacuum cleaner!! jesus ******* christ! was it like an Oreck vacuum cleaner? They are powerful!!
Tim'sAngel Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 jesus ******* christ! was it like an Oreck vacuum cleaner? They are powerful!! ORECK!! That was the name of the vacuum I was trying to think of but couldn't!! Thanks Alpha!! Now my post makes more sense!
ilmw Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 I was going to write my sad little list...but read tha last few posts....hahha... "not gonna do it" now. Laughter....kills the blues away.....
Tim'sAngel Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 I was going to write my sad little list...but read tha last few posts....hahha... "not gonna do it" now. Laughter....kills the blues away..... Glad we made you laugh ilmw!!
Author Diver012 Posted July 3, 2006 Author Posted July 3, 2006 Thanks all. It helps me atleast to know that Im not the only one feeling this way.
BBetsy Posted July 5, 2006 Posted July 5, 2006 No Foolin', you were right on with your post. Sitting around dwelling on bad feelings doesn't get us anywhere. I also want to add, I don't feel afraid no one will ever love me again. Shoot, I've gone out with two guys since my breakup four months ago, and both of them said they loved me within a few weeks. I'm afraid I'm the one who will never be able to love like that again...
Author Diver012 Posted July 5, 2006 Author Posted July 5, 2006 No Foolin', you were right on with your post. Sitting around dwelling on bad feelings doesn't get us anywhere. I also want to add, I don't feel afraid no one will ever love me again. Shoot, I've gone out with two guys since my breakup four months ago, and both of them said they loved me within a few weeks. I'm afraid I'm the one who will never be able to love like that again... I would be really afraid of anyone that claimed they loved me after a few weeks. That seems a little to soon for my tastes
Tim'sAngel Posted July 5, 2006 Posted July 5, 2006 I would be really afraid of anyone that claimed they loved me after a few weeks. That seems a little to soon for my tastes I was thinking the same thing Diver!
blind_otter Posted July 5, 2006 Posted July 5, 2006 I don't feel like I'll never be with anyone again, but I get tired. Because I know it's always a struggle and I don't want it to be that way. I feel alone, but I realize that everyone feels this way and it is pretty redundant. I feel angry. I feel tricked. I feel lied to. I feel irritated that all those wonderful things you want someone to say to you are almost never true, and with each subsequent relationship -- I believe them less. I feel like I'm juggling, when I'm depressed. Like today. I feel like everything is up in the air. What I crave, from a relationship - the stability, the sameness. Coming home to someone. Knowing that someone out there cares where you are and when you will be home. I mean I could stay out for 3 days straight and no one would notice but my dogs. I feel like I don't want to let myself feel those deep feelings of love and tenderness, not any more. I don't want to feel those things and have it taken away. I don't want to have another relationship. I just want to finally for frick's sake, feel OK being by myself. I don't want to look at potential partners any more.
MacGyver Posted July 6, 2006 Posted July 6, 2006 I feel... -Alone -In-secure -Lost -Confused -Upset -Depressed -Fat -Ugly -Strong -Regretful -Free -Hopeful -Like i will never meet anyone again (low self-esteem) -Punished -Scared The list goes on. Most are bad, but some are good. Its a big rollercoaster, but like all rollercoasters it will end.
audmc911 Posted July 6, 2006 Posted July 6, 2006 ...and by yourself, what emotions do you go through specifically? Maybe if others heard that they are not the only ones feeling a certain way, it will help someone to realize that what they are feeling is natural, and temporary. Maybe it will help them realize they aren't alone... When I am alone, I have get a feeling that ill never find someone that will make me feel that special again. I feel like I am destined to be alone I feel incapable of being loved I feel lost in my life I feel like if I were only more interesting, if I met more people somehow, but cant quite figure out how to do it, I could move on quicker... These feelings come and go, it just takes time. Its hardest when I sit here on the weekends by myself. The mind makes itself go crazy... I cry and feel the pain in my chest. Then I get angry - even though it's for the best, you sort of mourn what "could have been." Weeks ago, I felt like nothing would make me feel better. But, you know what? I have a daughter who is 15. I am so lucky to have her and her friends to keep me busy. Then, I ran into an old friend who took me and my daughter out for sushi and made us feel sooo special. Don't sit there on the weekends by yourself! Go to the movies, surf the internet, read a book, take a walk, buy flowers for your apartment, rent a movie, treat yourself to a spa or a luxurious bath and have a glass of wine and a nice meal! Most importantly, be spontaneous, you never know what will come your way. Look at how I ran into a friend who took us out for a special dinner when I needed it most! Trust in God - pray and have faith - then you'll be happy again. Most importantly, LAUGH!
audmc911 Posted July 6, 2006 Posted July 6, 2006 I feel angry. I feel tricked. I feel lied to. ME TOO!!!! Rippin mad. But, Saturday will be two weeks, and it subsides!
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