Thursday_le Posted June 29, 2006 Posted June 29, 2006 What do you do if the girl you were in love with for almost 2 years calls? What do I say? Its only been a 5 days of NC. I just want to be somewhat prepared. My mother keeps telling me that ill know when the time comes....doesnt help me any... Here is my story...http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t91890/
fabulousgal Posted June 29, 2006 Posted June 29, 2006 Only answer IF you can do the following things: 1) Do not mention you miss her in any shape form or fashion 2) DO NOT talk about your relationship Be cool, not mean, but not too giving. If you are truly set on moving on, don't answer and don't reply. If I had LS right after my breakup I would not have made mistakes 1 and 2 which I believe pushed any chance away. Good Luck
Nedved28 Posted June 29, 2006 Posted June 29, 2006 Hello Thursady!! just been reading your last thread and i know its a difficult time for you!! But your doing good!! I'l be honest here and please d'ont take offence(i think your great;) ) but when i was reading some of your posts i did laugh once or twice because it reminded me of me when i was your age!! But seriously your young in years and you've a big heart young man and you'l make somebody or even maybe your girl of 2 years very happy some day!! I think back to when i was 18 and i think gosh i wish i was that age again!! You d'ont know how lucky you are man!! I know at the moment you d'ont see it as your hurting but in time you'l see that being 18/19 and being single ain't such a bad thing!! Your doing the right thing breaking all contact and i know its hard but this will put you on the road to recovery!! Your Mum was right that you will know what to say when she calls as by then hopefully you'l be fully recovered and the conversation will be okay!! But if she dose call in the next few days and you do decide to answer the phone do as fabulousgal says and d'ont tell her you miss her and d'ont mention the relationship!! Be strong but be nice also!! Giving her an attitude or being nasty is gonna do you no favours at all especially if you think some day you could get back together!! it won't be easy but you might just have to wish her all the best and good luck for the future!! Believe me she'l remember that!! But thursday there's also a strong chance you won't hear from her for a while or a long time...unfortunatley you'l just have to deal with that and get on with your life keeping a strict NC with her!! But d'ont wait for this phone call!! If it is to happen it will happen when you least expect it!! Go out and have fun, meet new girls!! Your so young! Thats not to say your not hurting as much as anyone else here because your young!! we know your hurt!! Its not easy!! but in time you'l feel strong enough again to enjoy the best years of your life!! And maybe ...just maybe you might eventually get your girl back but enjoy yourself and live life first!!!
Author Thursday_le Posted June 29, 2006 Author Posted June 29, 2006 yeah i wont say that I miss her. I want to sound confident and say that everything is good. But I need an example or something....I am moving on but when the time comes I want to spark something possibly. I love this girl more than anything and I just dont think that is break up is truely the end to it all. Even she didnt say that it was the end for sure. " I dont know what the future holds...let alone, I dont know anything right now." Thats what she said.
Author Thursday_le Posted June 30, 2006 Author Posted June 30, 2006 thx nedved28.... I know im young but I dont want this to turn into one of those things you say when your 40..." Ya I remember my first real love...." I want to be able to say " ya I remember my first real love...shes right beside me". I have let her go....well she thinks that. The real letting go is a slow but faster than I thought process. Im actually taking a road trip with my little sis and a friend from work to go back home in Pennslyvannia for a week. I told my parents that I need to go back home for a week and just get away. I want to hang out with friends that I havent seen in over 4 years since I moved to North Carolina. I realize that being single is a great thing but, I cant lose her for good. I hope we both go threw things and eventually realize that what we had was great and miss it genuinely together. I wouldnt jump into dateing her again...just friendly and go to dinner or a movie...you know...start slow and see where it goes. Theres something in my gut...that I just KNOW that there will be another time where we speak again. When ....well thats the problem. My mom keeps saying give it 6 weeks to 2 years....LOL. Ill give it time untill I feel its all lost. My mom says that she will go threw the next year...with memories of me...you know christmas, birthdays, anniversary, stuff like that. Thats when she will really feel it. I told my mom that my birthday is Aug 9th. She said, "dont get your hopes up, she wont call you. If she does...you'll know what to say." I told her I read some threads on here about talking confident and acting as if everything was good....even if I really was a disaster. This , in turn is suppost to make her miss me. Which I dont understand. Any thoughts about my latest rambleing?
Nedved28 Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 Your going through a lot of emmotions Thursday!!! Its gonna be like this for a while!! I d'ont think your rambling at all!! your speaking from your heart!! I to had those thoughts about my last girlfriend who i lost about 6 months!!! Deep deep down in my gut i guess there's a chance that someday we might get back together !! But i can't live for or wait for that!!! and neither can you!! what you have to do now is begin your recovery process!! and you are!! Okay take comfort in the fact that there's a chance you might get back together someday but also prepare yourself for the possibilty that you might not!! The last thing you wanna do is drag this out and make this recovery last longer than it should!!`I know you wanna start over again,take her out to dinner, go to the movies as friends and take it from there!! But what are you gonna do if she wants to be only friends? Its possible she may not wanna commit to a serious relationship even in 6 weeks to 2 years!! you'l be very hurt thursday and back to square one again!! Whatever you do d'ont break you NC till you feel strong enough and until your emmotions are under control again!! At the moment i d'ont think your strong enough to be friends with her!! You need time to recover first!! believe me she's not gonna forget you!! she's gonna think of you on those special days you mentioned d'ont worry about that!! Of course she will!! She'l respect you more that you wished her all the best and allowed her to live a little while she was still young without you being jealous or bitter!! And she won't forget that!! and if there is feelings there and she thinks its worth trying again she'l contact you!! She made her decision so its up to her to come to you!! Nothing you do is gonna change her mind right now Thursday!! But if its meanty to be its meant to be so who knows!! But right now u gotta do whats right for you and the road trip will do you good!!! i gotta get back to work but leave any messages here anytime and i'l get back to ya as soon a s i can!!
Author Thursday_le Posted June 30, 2006 Author Posted June 30, 2006 Thx nedved....like I said before...people like you are keeping me going and keeping the NC. I know she probably doesnt care what Im doing right now. So why should I. I got over making up senarios ( cant spell ) 3 days ago. I have been told by about everyone Ive talked to that I am handleing this very maturely. My boss whos 24 said that he wished he was as kool as I was with his ex of 4 years. I know it sounds wrong but I want to prove everyone ( even my ex) that I am stronger than anyone they know. I want to set an example. Ive been told many times that Im a lot more mature than what my age shows. I just wish my ex was at the same maturity level as me. And its not her fault. She needs to see other things for awhile. shes a good girl. She has good morals, so I trust her that she will stay safe. LOL...right now the hardest thing for me the past 2 days was...NOT LOOKING AT HER MYSPACE AND AIM AWAY MSGS. Its so convienent on the computer. But Ive refrained from them 100%. Its so hard man....it really is. I have lost the depressing feeling of being lonely. Because I have plenty of friends and plus....I think this whole thing is needed on both sides. Maybe I wont date for awhile. My dad says that I dont need a g/f right now. The at this age they dont know what the hell they want. Which is a general asumption....but pretty accurate. So I think ill enjoy the single life to the fullest.
Author Thursday_le Posted June 30, 2006 Author Posted June 30, 2006 Its bothering me a little. I need to hear some opinions about my situation. She said that she doesnt want to be in a relationship right now and is tired of doing things for everyone. (Not just me). She told me that she wasnt lying about her not wanting another relationship. Hence her thing on myspace that I posted on my old thread. Click on the first post in here to read it. Please someone tell me what it means!! Also when I asked why she did this...she said...Ive changed. Theres a big difference between 15 and 17. Sounds like bull crap to me. Its been 6 days of NC.
BatteredByLove Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 Dude, keep on NC, i did NC with my ex of a year and a few months for a month... then broke it... so now... Im f***ed..... started NC again, lasted 5 days, dotn worry the first few weeks iwll be the hardest, but just STAY STRONG, BLOCK HER FROM AIM, BLOCK HER MYSPACE WEBSITE, BLOCK IT!!!!!!! I've blocked her myspace website, her other blog website, blocked her from Yahoo, blocked her from aim, msn, etc, and, it's helping, because those seconds when i go to unblock them... I don't, it lets me think bout why I SHOULDNT UNBLOCK, because finding out information about her would only hurt me more, besides, if you want to do NC, it means ABSOLUTELY NO CONTACT, she'll think about you when those days comes, those special days, my birthday's coming up on october 2nd... a few months from now, but i'll be 18.... if she really does care... i'll get something... if not.... crap lol.
Author Thursday_le Posted June 30, 2006 Author Posted June 30, 2006 This really sucks. I know ill keep NC going but ive narrowed it down to 4 things that I think could happen or is happening: 1. She is trying to completely forget me so she can move on. ( I doubt this one. You cant just forget about someone you were with for 2 years of your life.) 2. She will take several months and realize that she made a huge mistake and try to come back. I dont think I would let her come back so soon. I think it should take alittle longer to figure out what the both of us really want. ( I think this is more likely than 1 but I doubt it will happen. 3. She has feelings for another guy and will date him for maybe a year, then well it all falls down she will call me. ( I think this is what is happening. I hate that their may be another guy. Even though she said she doesnt want a relationship....her friendship with him may turn into something else. If she were to break up with him it would be horrible for her because they work together. But I dont care anymore what happens with her...as long as she is out of harms way and not dead.) 4. She could have been telling the truth about not wanting anyone right now and that shes just tired of doing everything for everyone and that she is tired of life, not suicidal. ( I want this to be the real reason but, I feel like this is just a cover up so she can let me go the least painful way. Maybe Im OVERANALIZING again.) Someone let me know which you think is really going on. Its a matter of opinion, but I want to hear it! Thx everyone and good luck to everyone is a breakup period.
Nedved28 Posted July 2, 2006 Posted July 2, 2006 1/ i think she is trying to move on for now but i wouid'nt say she's trying to forget you!! She's not gonna forget you d'ont worry about that!! 2/its quite possible but you can't let think this way!! YOU have to move on!! If she dose decide to come back that would be great!! You could access the situation and decide what you wanna do!! But i would'nt count on it yet!! she wants to live a little first so you might have to face up to that!! Either way you need to start looking forward without thinking of her return to much. 3/Okay this point you made is a difficult one to have to face up to and i know how diidficult it is thinking of your ex girlfriend with another guy. These are very hurtful thoughts that i myself along with lots of others on LS find difficult to get out of our heads!! I know it hurts man to think of it!! We won't think to far ahead on this one as your only broke up and you d'ont want your mind and imagination running wild here!! Try not to think of this to much!! If we look at the facts okay its possible she could be with someone else!! shes young!! But however she might not. But either way you d'ont know and its better like that!! I think your better off preparing yourself for her not coming back!! Its nice thoughts thinking of her one day returning and i hope it dose happen man but you gotta prepare for the worst case scenario here and think 'she ain't coming back' !! there's no guarantee that shes gonna meet a guy,date and then find out she d'ont like him no more and call you! Thats something thats hard to accept but to move on you'l have to!! She could also call you and find out you've a new girl!! Again d'ont think to far ahead here and try not(i know its VERY hard)think of her with another guy!! 4/On your fourth point i reckon your right here!! she just wants to be on your own and maybe just needs to be asingle a while!! She's only 17!! she was with you 2 years so i doubt she'l be rushing right into a new relationship!!! On another point here i wanna ask you about man!! You say she's hanging out with people from work who were drinking etc? well okay i know in the states that its illegal at her age but u seemed to resent her doing bit of partying!! Do u think that maybe she got bored? she needed to live life on the edge a little and maybe felt you were holding her back? i d'ont wanna cause offence here man but i think you gotta look at every possibility here? Did she invite you to join them? and did she know you did'nt really approve? And by the way i'm not trying to encourage u to drink or anything!! I think its a great think that a guy your age dose'nt drink!! good for you!! Your your own man!!
Author Thursday_le Posted July 2, 2006 Author Posted July 2, 2006 Thx nedved... I talked to my mom and she said that she will be single for awhile and then date. She will be reminded of so many things about me that she will eventually think..." I think I made a terrible mistake". I know right now she thinks her decision was and is best for her. My mom says that once she gets a taste of real life she will call me and may want to reconsile.( cant spell). Also she said she doesnt want to lose me forever. And the whole if it comes back its yours forever.... Ill answer your questions later.
Nedved28 Posted July 2, 2006 Posted July 2, 2006 Okay thursday!! answer whenever u get time!! maybe its best to just relax and forget about her for a few hours anyway!!
ab30 Posted July 2, 2006 Posted July 2, 2006 Thursday, all your thoughts are perfectly normal and you seem to be handling things very well so far. Everything you've said is the same as the thoughts that have gone through my head over the last few weeks. I keep expecting to get answers to all my questions and there are only a few things that I really want to hear. I really do share this hard time with you. Our instinct when we are hurting is to find the quickest way out, but this is one situation we can't control. By trying to cling onto hope of getting back together then you will only delay being healed. If you do get a phone call, and I really hope you do, you mustn't talk about the relationship in any form. As others have told you, it's best to sound positve and like you've been busy since the break. Don't over do it though, don't forget she does know you quite well. You don't want to be going 'oh my god, my life is amazing, everything is wonderful' but something simple like 'yeah i'm cool thanks' and move on. You must also try your best to assume that you've lost this relationship forever, you might be lucky and get another chance, but if you count on it coming back and it doesn't you'll only delay the healing process. I know how hard that is and I too keep thinking that my ex will suddenly regret his decision and end up missing me. Don't do things for you ex, but for yourself. That really is the most important thing to remember. I really hope that things work out for you and don't forget you aren't alone in all this.
Alastery Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 Yeah, I'll join in on this party of suckage. I'd been going out with someone for around two years, off and on. We got together just before she graduated (we went to college toghether, and she's a year older than me) and had a great summer (basically saw each other every weekend) before I broke it off in the fall because I didn't want to be in a LD relationship. A few months later, we both met up again and decided that it was something that was worth mending, and had been together for the year and a half since. We were constantly getting frustrated over the distance, and after graduation I was in DC and she was in Boston for another year to finish up her fellowship. When we found that she'd be going to grad school in Baltimore (only a half hour from DC) starting in September, we decided to stick out the frustrations so we could see how we would be when we're actually in the same place for once. And to reinforce that, it was her idea to live with me in DC starting July 1 until she had to move up to school Sept 1. I committed myself to her at that point, and was really looking forward to actually getting to give our relationship a real run for its money. As we talked for an hour or two every night, we lately began to get into really stupid arguments about stuff that had nothing to do with anything. We'd fight about the implied definition of a word, cell phone reception, etc... almost anything. But still, we were more or less determined to stick it out because we hadn't seen each other in two months, and it seemed like it was just distance acting on us. All that changed last weekend, when I threw her a going-away party up at Fenway Park with her friends-- she's a huge baseball fan like I am. The game was nearly rained out, and she was freaking about it, though I'd secretly talked to her best friends and made a plan B. We didn't need it, though, and the game went well. But the whole weekend, she was really short with me and constantly frustrated-- getting annoyed when I would order a glass of red wine when the table was ordering a bottle of white zinfandel, etc. Then we were playing Cranium at her friend's house, and she started yelling at me for cheating, giving her the wrong answers, and all sorts of other things that were obviously (to me and everyone else there) not happening, and I gave up and left after putting up with it for a while. We talked the next morning, and decided that the summer living together thing would be tough, and so maybe we should only make it a series of visits between DC and her parents' house in Georgia. We ended up having a great day, and were talking, smiling, kissing, and seemed happy. Since I was coming back up in three days to help her move down to live with me, both of us were like "okay, this feels good, and we only have to get through two more days." When I arrived back in DC the next morning, she IMd me to tell me that she didn't want to go to DC at all, and had already booked tickets back to Georgia, and that her mom was going to help her move out, and she didn't want me to come up as well. We decided that we'd meet back up in September when she started school to touch base. We also agreed to go on radio silence, but I did ask her to give me a call that night so we could actually have a real talk about it. I never heard from her. So it's been almost a week now, and I'm trying to be proactive about it. I'll see her in just about 60 days, and I can use that time as a motivator to improve myself. It's not just for her, but for me too. If it doesn't work out in September, I'll be all the better off. I'm keeping a daily journal about what I need to concentrate on to make myself someone that I'm happy with. Becoming less of a killjoy, a little less argumentative, and losing some weight are all on the list. I'm 10% of the way to my weight goal already (it's been 4 days since I started, so I'm on track), and have caught myself a few times before getting into petty arguments. Since my whole social life here in DC was based on the notion that I would be talking to her on the phone at 10pm every night, I need to expand my social network. I'm reaching out (in a totally non-pathetic way) to co-workers and people in DC whom I went to school with to try to develop a normal social life, and I've joined match.com (wow, feels sorta pathetic-ish) to meet people I have no real connection to. It's going reasonably well, but this weekend has been hard. I expected to be lugging stuff up to my 13th floor apartment, and I have a space in my closet and bathroom cleared out for her to use, but instead, I'm doing some work I didn't get to do during the week (it wasn't too productive at the office these last few days) and waiting for my DC friends to come back from what they were doing this weekend to actually start this new social life. Like the other posts I've seen on here, I really do love her, and imagine that I will for a while. I really, honestly, do hope that we at least become friends after she moves to Baltimore. If I succeed in my summer quest to feel better about myself, then I will consider friendship an accomplishment, and I'm sure I'll have no problem finding someone to whom I can devote my attention. I'm committed to not initiating contact until we meet in September, as I know I would screw myself over by doing so, both with myself and with her. I took her off my buddy list (unfortunately, she'll see that I've done this), and I hope that will be enough. I'm constantly tempted to log onto her gmail and facebook accounts (I know her passwords), but haven't done so yet, and hope I won't do so. So I'm on this lonesome road, too. I'm trying to stay upbeat. I'm trying to stay pro-active. But I don't think I'm going to get away from it without a few scars. Like you've been saying, though, it feels better to know that others are going through it too.
Author Thursday_le Posted July 3, 2006 Author Posted July 3, 2006 Thx everyone. I love that everyone is sharing there situation and again...this is theropy to me. 1.You say she's hanging out with people from work who were drinking etc? Yes 2.well okay i know in the states that its illegal at her age but u seemed to resent her doing bit of partying!! Only because she doesnt want me to be there 3 Do u think that maybe she got bored? yes 4 she needed to live life on the edge a little and maybe felt you were holding her back? yes, that is what she said...the holding back thing 5 d'ont wanna cause offence here man but i think you gotta look at every possibility here? yes I know. I hope she finds her true idenity and realizes that, that stuff isnt for her. She always said she wouldnt drink.Guess I have to trust her. Also her dad is an alcholic...So that would give her more of a reason to avoid that. 6 Did she invite you to join them? no....I have no reason to suspect they were drinking around her.....I just know that they do from there myspaces. 7. and did she know you did'nt really approve? yes. Thats just not her. Its like she just trying to fit in so she can get over me faster....I dont know man....I hope she still loves and cares about me. And im going to give it a year and see if she calls me. I am 100% sure she will call someday. Untill then im going to buy a new car, get contacts, buy a new wardrobe, get a cell phone, go to college, and ( lol this is kinda stupid) re pierce my left ear. Just trying to do stuff for me now. Like my mom said ...Do stuff for me because of her. Not do stuff for her because of her.
Nedved28 Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 Thanks for answering my questions and i think its very good that your gonna get a car,new wardrobe etc!! these things will make you feel good about yourself again!! You need to start to creating new memories without her in them now. I think its very important!! This phone call you keep talking about man is a nice thought but d'ont try not to hope for to much out of it!! If you get a phone call in the next year thats all it might be is a 'phone call' just to say hi!! As i said and others have said you gotta start thinking she ain't coming back man!! I know its difficult but the time to start the healing is now!! If you wait on this call in the hope that she's gonna have lived a great life for a year and now wants to give the relationship another try you could be very disapointed if you d'ont hear what you wanted to hear on the phone!! It would set you back to square one!! She's only 17!! It could be years before she wants to settle down again!! You have to think also maybe at the moment maybe her true idenity is going partying and having fun!! She's not trying to fit in!! she already has fit in!! Its what she wants if she told you she was bored man!! I know her dad had drink problems and hopefully she won't drink but in time maybe she will start to enjoy a social drink!! there's nothing wrong with that at all!! And you would have to accept that!! What you have to remember now is that the girl of 2 years you went out with is'nt gone but she will have developed as a person when you do speak again!! She sounds like a great girl so i'm sure she'l keep her morals and principles but she will be into different things by then!! If there was hope that you 2 were to gte back togther you might have to accept certain changes in her life!! But again thats living in hope and for now we gotta think of her 'not' coming back just to cover yourself from hurt if it happens!! Of course she still loves you and cares about you!! That won't change!! You never forget your first true love. She will be thinking about you and by not hearing from you she'l think even more but she'l be looking to the future without you for now man and thats where you gotta get to without her also!! Its a hard road but u'l get there man!!
whir Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 Only answer IF you can do the following things: 1) Do not mention you miss her in any shape form or fashion 2) DO NOT talk about your relationship Be cool, not mean, but not too giving. If you are truly set on moving on, don't answer and don't reply. If I had LS right after my breakup I would not have made mistakes 1 and 2 which I believe pushed any chance away. Good Luck yup...be cool and confident avoid to look like a needy wuss...
Author Thursday_le Posted July 4, 2006 Author Posted July 4, 2006 thx everyone. Im doing so much better. My mom and I had another talk and She told me she wasnt going to tell me this but she did. She told me that she still talks to my ex's mom. Which I didnt think they ever talked the whole time we had gone out. So they were very quiet about it. It would explain her mother saying..." Make sure you say hello to your mom for me"...I was thinking..." ummm.. ok?". But she said that her mom said my ex arent talking much but she did get out of her that there isnt another guy. That guy is just a friend from work. She still doesnt want any relationship. So I feel more confident that I can move on easier.My mom swore she didnt make this up to make me feel better. My mom would never lie to me. Shes the kinda mom that is very harsh and realistic. She always tells me what I do and dont do and is always straight forward about it. So I believe her. I think it comes down to when this really hits my ex. One day its going to make her feel so bad but she wont have the ability to call me. eventually she will call because she cant keep it all in. I know she still loves me. She just wants to be single. Just like her mom said. " She just needs to get rid of that NEED to see whats out there" and all that stuff. Im not calling anyone an animal but this makes since to me..." Its like letting a cow out to a different pasture....once they see that the grass isnt always greener on the other side...they always come back home." Sounds retarded but it makes since to me. For anyone that needs a helping thought, this helps me. SERENITY - ( Your God Here ) grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change. The Courage to change the things I can and the Wisdom to know the difference.
Author Thursday_le Posted July 4, 2006 Author Posted July 4, 2006 I really hope that things turn around like her older sister did. Took a year for her to realize. I know that my ex has talked to her older sis and she has given her advice. Maybe she has the intension to come back but doesnt want me to know. It doesnt matter because Im moving on. I will deal with it if I have to...when that time comes. I still see myself with her in a year or two.
Author Thursday_le Posted July 4, 2006 Author Posted July 4, 2006 Its been 9 days of NC and 22 days since breakup. LOL I said i wouldnt keep count. It doesnt bother me anymore. It seems like time is passing by faster. My mom said that if I take care of myself in the mean time...that a year will pass in no time. Its been 3 weeks and its felt like only a week...if that. Im actually going to read a book that my mom read when her and her husband of 14 years had a mid-life crisis. Its "Men are from mars, women are from venus" Im sure everyone has heard of it. She told me it helps you to better communicate with the opposite sex and also know what the other is thinking when you say certain things. You know guys take things literally and woman say things out loud...that sort of thing. This is another step for me to mature and help better myself by trying to understand the things I did wrong during communication. My mom said that one of my biggest faults was being too honest. And that sometimes its not the best idea to say everything thats in my head. I have plenty to work on. I want to prove to everyone that I can change and be that man that my ex wanted me to be. Im not doing it for her but doing it because of her for me. If she comes back to me...I know I will be a better and improved me. If its not enough for her then Ill find another girl. But I still think my destiny is to be with her someday. Im not holding on...Its just a gut feeling that no matter what...Will never go away. Ill be patient and give her time to find herself as a woman. Shes smart and I know she wont take 10 years to find herself. When I asked her " Where do you see yourself in a year?" she said " With you"....I asked if she just said that to make me feel better and she said " no, thats really what I want." Nothing is for sure and things change over time. But I still believe she loves me but before she can love me the best she can...she has to find out how to love herself before loving her family and I again. Ive never really been a religous person but I admit Ive prayed almost every night to keep her safe and away from harm. And that I wish for that second chance. My mom said that everyone gets a second chance...you just dont know when or how it will happen. I am very optimistic ( spelling ) and I know what I have to do to improve myself. Its now just a waiting game. I am strong and I will come out of this situation Well. I hope that I am some kind of inspiration to someone. I know that my boss that I talked about earlier in my other thread said that Ive really helped him because of the way Ive handled things. So now he is finally moving on after 4 years with his ex.
Author Thursday_le Posted July 5, 2006 Author Posted July 5, 2006 well... i just got back from fireworks. I was fine when my friend chris was there. He later left around 8 and after that I started wondering in my mind. Every girl I saw was my ex...All the couples made me feel left out. Then the fireworks made me feel like s***. All I could think of is my ex and I shareing an intimate kiss during the fireworks while holding eachother in our arms. It made me very upset. Its funny because a tear ran down my cheek and then.....It started pouring down rain. Kinda Ironic. But it also hit me after that , that this is for real. I re-evaluated the situation and I feel much better. I know that she needs time to herself. I told my mom that, " No matter what she does, weither she gives us a second chance or We both walk away from each other, I will always forgive her." Ill never resent her. I cant hate her, call her names, or think that she ruined my life. Im not that kinda guy. Someone told me to just say f*** that bitch and find a new pussy. I took that very offensive and said that Ill never call her a name. No matter what. I believe when you love someone enough, you look past there flaws and love them unconditionally. I believe I am at that point with her. Im thinking she isnt at that same point as me.( obviously ) I know she still loves me and will talk to me sometime. I hope she can start to accept my flaws and help me be a better person when that time comes. Ive read almost that whole book " Men are from mars, women are from venus" and Its made me look at things in a different way. The #1 problem that guys do to a women is that when she has a bad day and wants to talk about it. All she wants is to be listened to and made to feel as you can comfort her and be a companion to her. NOT to tell her how to fix it and say " well if you do this". She isnt looking for a fix. She just wants you to tell her that you understand her. Im hitting the sack. If anyone cares to msg on here...please do. Nite everyone
Nedved28 Posted July 5, 2006 Posted July 5, 2006 Sorry to hear you had a rough nite at the fireworks thursday!! its gonna be like that for a while when special events and days come around!! its only natural to feel a bit sad and have that little tear running down your face!! Christamas, birthdays, thanksgiving im sure will be difficult as i'm sure you'l have shared these specail days with her but the best advice i can give is on these special days make your sure your around plenty of people and friends!! D'ONT be alone as you';l think to much!! meet your friends and keep yourself busy!! its hard man i know but in time it'l get better...
Author Thursday_le Posted July 5, 2006 Author Posted July 5, 2006 thx nedved. I feel like I completely understand why she broke up with me. She felt held back and I constantly put her in the ...well me or your friends type thing. I feel bad that I made her choose. So eventually she became so tired of that she begain to lose interest in me because she felt as though I wasnt listening to her at all. I REALLY WANT TO EMAIL HER AND TELL HER THAT IT FINALLY WENT THREW MY THICK SKULL!! What do I do? I want her to know at least that I understand the reasons she did this. And that I am ok with it.
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