Thursday_le Posted June 24, 2006 Posted June 24, 2006 My ex and I had been going out with each other for a year and almost 9 months. I only know the month thing cause she reminded me that the 25th was our anniversary. Im 18 and shes 17. I know its very young love. But it was there. We werent the average teeny-bop love high schoolers, we were both truely in love and we were almost perfect. We both told each other everything and we were honest and true to each other. We were not only a couple but we were best-friends too. I live 25mins away from her. So we didnt meet in school nor do we see each other anymore. She broke up with me on Monday the 19th. I absoultly freaked out, the whole...OMG why I did everything for you and you told me I was your one and only!. Well eventually we got off the phone and I fell into a horrible depression. Thinking about all the time we spent together and everything. She was a sheltered girl her whole life.When I first met her she said she only ate out maybe twice ever. Since then I would take her everywhere from Olive Garden to expensive places like CheeseCake Factory. I have showed her more things than any other guy will show her. I know she loves me. She says she will always love me. When she broke up with me she said she needed space. Its just so hard. She got a job back in April at outbacksteakhouse. She told me that everyone that works there, they all hangout and stuff. Which made me a little uncomfortable. She would tell me that I made her upset when she would tell me she was going out with some friends from work. Well her and I dont drink, do drugs, or anything like that. But I know that these people at outback do drink. There all around 16-18 years old. Ive been told that Im very mature for almost 19. I guess I just want to know what I should do. If anyone needs more details please ask away...I know I need advice and suport from you guys. Ive talked to friends and family and they all support me. Even here Mom and dad were upset. They always told me that I was everything they had wished for in a furture son-in-law. I love her to death and respect that she needs space but....how much and for how long...I will post the last msg I sent her today on her myspace. Your wisdom is very much appreciated in advanced.
Author Thursday_le Posted June 24, 2006 Author Posted June 24, 2006 Her : I dont we should talk right now. It'll be easier for us both so we can just move on. So... no more talking for a while after I send you this. My Reply: one last question... do you want me out of your life forever? My Last Reply: I promise that this is the last time I bother you...you need your space and I need to respect that. Im sry I accused you of things...I just felt that I needed to find out if your were doing ok. Obviously, me bugging you will eventually push you away for good. So I swear this is completely it. We both need to not have any contact with each other for a period of time so we can both move on. This is how ill show you that I care for you and Im letting your go. If you someday call me, I may or may not be open to talking, I cant predict the future. I am not going to wait...I know thats what you dont want me to do and it would be silly for me to do. Oh and you dont need to think about or answer that Completely out of your life thing, cause I know you dont know. Again neither of us know what lies in the future. Also in her Myspace it says: (I just got out of a Serious relationship of - almost 2 years- and I dont want another one) Is that give room for hope?
bab Posted June 24, 2006 Posted June 24, 2006 Thursday, It sounds like the two of you had a very serious relationship. Her myspace message makes it sound like she is interested in living a bit. Exploring her life as a single gal for some of her teenage years. You are probably going to have to let her go. I think you should do just as the message you sent her says. Give her her space and date others. In the end the two of you may get back together, but don't stop your life for it. You may be suprised and you will actually enjoy being single. Good luck, Bab
Author Thursday_le Posted June 24, 2006 Author Posted June 24, 2006 thx for the advice. Im really mad at her right now because I think she is hanging out with people who drink. But Im going to let her go. But in the back of my mind I still want her to come back someday. But Im not going to wait. Shes the one who will realize that she hurt the one person in her life that loves her and cares for her more then anyone ever will. She wont meet someone as good as I was to her. Im not being cocky, but I was faithful to her the whole time and never even concidered anything but her. So do you think she will come running back someday...maybe a time period? I shouldnt care because Its done and Ive let her go for good. I Love that girl like Ill never love another again. I may love again but it will never be the same. It really makes you not want to believe in anything anymore, other than yourself. PLEASE KEEP THE COMMENTS COMING!@!!!....one isnt enough.
binevrywear Posted June 24, 2006 Posted June 24, 2006 I suggest you go onto other LS threads and look for the ones that say, "what to do when you break up" and "what not to do when you break up." Lots of wisdom there. Boiled down to it, you should maintain your dignity at all costs, you shouldn't go crawling back to her, you should just let her do what she wants to do. You should do what you want to do. Live your life. Let her live hers. Let time pass. Above all, DO NOT CONTACT HER! Or her family and friends, if that's possible. Build your life so that she or anything that remind you of her is no longer the focus. I know, easy to say, hard to do, but believe me man, we all go through this. Teenage loves are the most intense because they're so new and most of the things you go through are for the first time, hopefully for both of you at once. It's priceless. Consider yourself lucky you had what you had, but remember that very few teenage loves endure for the long haul. It's really hard to accept at the time, but you will get over it. I broke up at 19 with my first love, with whom I'd been going out with for two and a half years. She started screwing someone else when I went away from town to take a good-paying summer job. I thought I would die, never get laid again, never even want to look at another girl again, never get over it, never! I'd wake up and smell my pillow, dreaming that her pussy scent was still on it. It was hard. Well, that lasted all of about six months, and then the fun started anew with someone else. She was older, I was older. And everything was just so much better! I hadn't realised, for example, that there were more than two or three positions to f*** in! God, my first girlfriend was hot, or so I thought. We were both virgins and after the first time we were like posessed with each other, f***ing like pumped-up bunnyrabbits for hours on end and I thought nothing could ever be better, but it was all the novelty of it that made it feel that way. In reality, we were just preparing ourselves for life's main event. That's how you should look at this, man. Don't worry. You'll make it. Time will do it for you if you let it.
Diver012 Posted June 24, 2006 Posted June 24, 2006 You will never love someone like her again. Because theres only one of her. You will love another and it will be just as great, if not even better than this. I know you can't see that right now. It will take time for you to move past this. That sucks but its the truth.. I wouldnt count on her coming back. After 2 years, to split things up this quickly, she obviously has been thinking about this for a while. Shes not likely to change her mind. You have the best years of you entire life ahead of you. Do what you gotta do to let her go, and go out and live.
Author Thursday_le Posted June 25, 2006 Author Posted June 25, 2006 I need more people to comment. Please.... I am feeling good today. Being single is good. But I dont want it foever. Ill continue my life without her...and if she comes back, I think it would be hard but maybe Id let it happen.
Author Thursday_le Posted June 25, 2006 Author Posted June 25, 2006 Well....today is was our 1 year 9 months anniversary. I would love to here some more opinions please!!
MarnieGirl Posted June 25, 2006 Posted June 25, 2006 it can't be your anniversary if you're not together. it sounds like you're in a little bit of denial. it does not make you look good to her, it makes you look a little desperate. i am not trying to hurt your feelings, but you should know how she is probably seeing this situation, if she's even still thinking about it at all. she has broken up with you. it doesn't matter if her friends think you should be together, or if her parents miss you and loved the two of you together. SHE is the one who was in the relationship, she is the one who gets out of it. she is a young girl, she's not settling down anytime soon...and she shouldn't have to. i think you're waiting and waiting for something that just isn't going to happen. and even on the most miniscule, teeny tiny off-chance that she wants to get back together at any point, it would be healthier for both of you for you to back up off her grill, give her some space, and go have some fun of your own. you really haven't given her OR you much of a chance to feel like she's been broken up with you yet. you still talk to her friends and family...and to some people who want to actually be AWAY from the person they broke up with, it's really annoying to know your family is keeping ties with them. that's not good.
Author Thursday_le Posted June 25, 2006 Author Posted June 25, 2006 Just something to reflect on. Im not sad that today was our anniversary. Im just saying that its crazy to think that. Im definatly not holding on. Im not contacting her in anyway from yesterday on. Like I said in that msg above. I am letting her go. I doing the No Contact thing. I feel fine about not having her. It had to happen. As far as no counting on her coming back...well I guess that you would need to know what we had better. But yeah, I was with friends last night...just playing playstation and having fun for the first time since the break up. So im feeling confident in myself. I honestly dont think about me and her anymore. I do dread a phone call from her, because I think I even need space. So....ya. Im definatly not holding on to her, Ill cherish the moments we had but im not sobbing over it. Just trying to live my life...
MarnieGirl Posted June 25, 2006 Posted June 25, 2006 Just something to reflect on. Im not sad that today was our anniversary. Im just saying that its crazy to think that. Im definatly not holding on. Im not contacting her in anyway from yesterday on. Like I said in that msg above. I am letting her go. I doing the No Contact thing. I feel fine about not having her. It had to happen. As far as no counting on her coming back...well I guess that you would need to know what we had better. But yeah, I was with friends last night...just playing playstation and having fun for the first time since the break up. So im feeling confident in myself. I honestly dont think about me and her anymore. I do dread a phone call from her, because I think I even need space. So....ya. Im definatly not holding on to her, Ill cherish the moments we had but im not sobbing over it. Just trying to live my life... oh okay. well good for you. what are you looking for advice on again?
Author Thursday_le Posted June 25, 2006 Author Posted June 25, 2006 I just want advice on my situation....thats all...anything to relate to it.
crazy_grl Posted June 25, 2006 Posted June 25, 2006 Thursday, it sounds like you've got your act together and you're going to do just fine... or maybe you're just in denial. Either way, keep up what you've been doing. Live your life like she's never coming back. Don't go after her. If there's any chance of her coming back, she's got to do it on her own. Getting on with your life is the best way to make that happen... and if it doesn't, you'll have moved on anyway. Win, win situation. Best wishes to you.
MarnieGirl Posted June 25, 2006 Posted June 25, 2006 I'd wake up and smell my pillow, dreaming that her pussy scent was still on it. was that really necessary?
Guest Posted June 26, 2006 Posted June 26, 2006 thx crazy girl...my thoughts right now are...well... I want her to go threw the things she needs to go threw and maybe someday she can come back. I am 100% sure she will call me eventually for something. Whether its to see how im doing or if shes interested again. I know this because ive known her for almost 2 years. Ya, you can say....You obviously didnt know her well enough cause she did this ...but deep down I still know how she is. Again, Im moving on and am feeling better. I am still having problems with certain things like...my mom talking about places and things that we were going to do or were favorite places. I once said " I swear im going to marry you someday." and to her mother when I last spoke to her I said " Im going to marry your daughter someday". I still feel that way. I think about her half-sister who did that same thing to her now husband of 7 years. If its ment to be it will be. Im going to move on so if she comes back and shows interest again...it would be a slow moving relationship...not a desperation move on my part. I am just so certain that she will call me someday. Thats just the person she is. And if we did get back together...I know ill have to forgive her for everything ....BUT ill never forget it.
Author Thursday_le Posted June 26, 2006 Author Posted June 26, 2006 Thx crazygirl... I am feeling better. I know that someday she will call me again. And whatever the reason is I will have moved on. If I decide to try again I know ill have to forgive her for everything..but ill never forget. I told her and her mom " Someday Ill marry your daughter". I still have faith. I know she will change...but certain things will remain the same. People dont change everything...unless drugs are involved...and I know shes smart enough to never do anything like that. I know I overreacted about the drinking thing. Im sure she doesnt. But I dont worry about those things anymore. Thx everyone....If anyone has any stories good/bad similar to my situation....PLEASE share them..
Author Thursday_le Posted June 26, 2006 Author Posted June 26, 2006 That msg above that says guest was me yesterday...forgot to sign in.LOL.. Its day 2 of No Contact and Im still finding myself looking at her myspace. DAMNIT its so hard not to at least see if shes ok. I just want to know that she is doing well, without seeing her or speaking to her. I know she took this really hard. She told me that last time to spoke on the phone on tuesday that she had lost 10 pounds. And 10 pounds for someone that was only 125 is substantial. I pray to god and hope for her safety. Anyone with some words of wisdom? I need to hear something!!! PLEASE PEOPLE....i dont mean to be rude but I keep reading other peoples situations and its giving me mixed feelings and I really only need to read comments on my situation. Im going crazy. Please share some stories or something like mine...possitive or negative.
MarnieGirl Posted June 26, 2006 Posted June 26, 2006 PLEASE PEOPLE....i dont mean to be rude but I keep reading other peoples situations and its giving me mixed feelings and I really only need to read comments on my situation. Im going crazy. Please share some stories or something like mine...possitive or negative. sharing a personal situation is a way for people to relate to your own. we can't make personal comments on your situation, because we're not you; you even said yourself "to know us, you'd have to have been one of us." well, we're not one of you, so we don't know. we can only say what we think and what we know from experience. if you pester this girl like you pester for comments i can see why this relationship fizzled. sheesh.
Author Thursday_le Posted June 26, 2006 Author Posted June 26, 2006 I really dont appreciate your negativity Marniegirl. I dont pester her. And I dont think theres anything wrong with me wanting to hear stuff from more people. I never said specifics....I just want something....sry Im going threw a hard time and I need to talk to people I dont know about it. I only do this to get different perspectives. Weither its what I think or not I just like to read what people think.
MarnieGirl Posted June 26, 2006 Posted June 26, 2006 I really dont appreciate your negativity Marniegirl. I dont pester her. And I dont think theres anything wrong with me wanting to hear stuff from more people. I never said specifics....I just want something....sry Im going threw a hard time and I need to talk to people I dont know about it. I only do this to get different perspectives. Weither its what I think or not I just like to read what people think. so is everyone else. sorry you're not getting enough repsonses, but i think your attitude had something to do with it. no amount of answers was good enough, or it wasn't what you were looking for. anytime someone posts, you tell them "well you don't know our relationship." well no kidding, but what do you want anyone else to say when you just shoot them down? you don't like my negativity, but maybe other posters don't like yours and that might be why you're not hearing anything else. no one has anything to add that you won't refute, so what's the point?
binevrywear Posted June 26, 2006 Posted June 26, 2006 Hi MarniGirl, no it wasn't necessary. But I had every right to say it.
Author Thursday_le Posted June 26, 2006 Author Posted June 26, 2006 You are making this more difficult for me...I think I may be done with these boards. There always has to be that one person who has to read into things too much and disagree with it. If you have nothing to say that has anything to do with commenting on my original post....please dont post. I really dont need to argue with someone that I dont even know. I came on here for responses not hassle. Sorry I want to hear from more people, its one of the few things that had kept me strong. Please dont take that away from me. And about the putting everything down...I only put your one comment down because it was more of a...." These no hope in life anymore" type answer. I wont agree/disagree with any posts if people dont like what I feel. But like I said...Good or bad I still would like to see them. Except the comments that have nothing to do with my original post. Sorry If I seem ungrateful...but I really enjoy hearing what other people think about my situation. Maybe I can find someone that will be interested and come back to see if im ok, or try to make my day just that much better.
Author Thursday_le Posted June 26, 2006 Author Posted June 26, 2006 Just a random question. Should I delete my myspace?..so she cant check up on me? I want to keep it but at the same time I think if I completely vanish she will be worried and call me. But then I am afraid that she will forget about me and never talk to me ever again. God I sound so pathetic. Also, I met her on myspace. I love the site for it and hate it at the same time. She first deleted me as a friend and took out the hole section about HER LOVE. She still has my FULL name in her Interests box. Maybe she didnt see it to delete it.IM GOING CRAZY OVER THAT!! Also she was prom pictures from May on there. Obviously of her and I. She never changed the captions or anything. She didnt delete any of my comments to her. I deleted all of her comments, actually I deleted everything and everyone that I didnt know. I stopped using myspace when we met 2 years ago. It was my kinda...I dont need to talk to them anymore cause I have you things. So now I have a friend from back home and 3 friends from work(there guys)not that, that matters. I changed my picture to just me by myself at prom. I had an old picture of the two of us together. I left that picture and one comment by her. I miss her so much but Im not going to act upon it. I swore that id be strong. I love that girl more than life itself...God I want her to come back like her older half sister did with her now husband. My mom says that god gives good people good things eventually. And that the whole bad things happen to good people is just some depressing excuse. Bad things happen to everyone. I try to look at this as a good thing. The two of us get space...see what life is like without a significant other. But ya....I wish I could speed up time and fastforward to the point when she calls me again.I know she will someday. She cant forget me. I know speeding up time wouldnt benefit me any...ya ya...I need to grow and live for myself...but at the same time I hope I can fix my flaws and be not only a better person for myself but a better person for her someday if there is a someday with her.
crazy_grl Posted June 26, 2006 Posted June 26, 2006 Just a random question. Should I delete my myspace?..so she cant check up on me? I want to keep it but at the same time I think if I completely vanish she will be worried and call me. But then I am afraid that she will forget about me and never talk to me ever again. Don't do anything based on what you think will get a reaction out of her. That's manipulation. If you want to delete your myspace, then do it, but don't do it for or because of her. God I sound so pathetic. Well, a little bit, but that's normal. She first deleted me as a friend and took out the hole section about HER LOVE. She still has my FULL name in her Interests box. Maybe she didnt see it to delete it.IM GOING CRAZY OVER THAT!! Also she was prom pictures from May on there. Obviously of her and I. She never changed the captions or anything. She didnt delete any of my comments to her. None of that means anything. I try to look at this as a good thing. As miserable as I've been when people broke up with me in the past, I'm twice as happy now. So yes, if you choose to make it a good thing, it will be. I wish I could speed up time and fastforward to the point when she calls me again.I know she will someday. She cant forget me. I know speeding up time wouldnt benefit me any...ya ya... The best way to make that happen faster is to leave her alone and let her come around by herself. I need to grow and live for myself...but at the same time I hope I can fix my flaws and be not only a better person for myself but a better person for her someday if there is a someday with her. I think you've got the right idea. Just try to make sure you're doing it mostly for yourself.
Author Thursday_le Posted June 26, 2006 Author Posted June 26, 2006 Thx crazygrl...People like you make me feel so much better about things. Ill hope for the best ( my ex to come back ) and prepare for the worst ( this being the end ). I have a super strong gut feeling that this isnt it. I cant explain it. I know thats nothing to base anything from but....I just see it being us again someday.
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