jhurtinct Posted April 28, 2006 Posted April 28, 2006 I used to post under a different name.About 2 1/2 yrs ago, my sons father cheated on me. that night I found out it had been going on for awhile I ended up starting a relationship that wasn't suppose to happen with his employee it went on heavy for about 2 months until my ex pulled the sob story of I can't and won't live without you and our son and I felt because of our son I was obligated to try hard again so I broke this guys heart I was seeing(all without my ex /his boss knowing)and went back to try again. The whole came out when the guy (the employee) was hurt and couldn't work with him anymore so quit on xmas eve morning after calling my phone at 7am and my sons father answer and asking what going on. The "employee" came to the door w/xmas gifts for my son and handed his keys to the work truck and walked away for me to tell my son's father what had been going on. He put what happened aside and we tried to work things out, I never stopped asking mutual friends about "employee" and after about 5 months I wasn't into it and I asked him to leave again, the second he handed me the key back I called "employee" and we started talking again. Don't really remember what tricked me into taking him back again but I again ended with "employee" to give it another shot for "our family's" sake. No it has been about close to 2 yrs and I a few more horrible things my sons father put me through later and it over, I called the police we were both arrested horrible ordeal but I think finally the straw that had to break to keep us apart. Over the past 2 yrs I went through a few times when I thought about"employee" all the time, drove by his house, called and block just to hear his voice, drove to where I thought he may be just to drive by him. Never really forgetting how wonderful he made me feel.He was a great guy cared more in 2 months than ex did in 7 yrs. treated me better and made me feel wonderful and beautiful all at once. So I did it I called 2yrs later to say hello and see if he would consider possibly trying to be friends, because thats always what I wanted, just to still have something to do with him. We just spent 2 hours on the phone in what started out very sad and akward to the point I said I understand if you hang up on me and don't ever want me to call again----to we practically had phone sex and every hot feeling I ever had toward him came rushing back. I spent two hours in a daze and laughing and feeling good and remembering wonderful things . He asked me to leave my house and go over and I told him I would but couldn't because I couldn't explain to my brother or mother (who my son and I now live with) where I was going at 11:30 at night and why they had to watch my son. Now he wants to meet tomorrow night and I need to stay just friends for now but it's scary how he just made me feel on the phone nevermind in person. I now I will have sweet dreams tonight........... any imput? How can I feel this way after a 2 hour conversation?
Author jhurtinct Posted April 28, 2006 Author Posted April 28, 2006 does anyone have any thoughts about this I could use some I have noone else to tell whats going on or what just happened on the phone.
aleatoryd Posted April 28, 2006 Posted April 28, 2006 I don't want you think I'm replying to all your threads lol! But since no one else has (yet I'm sure they will) I'll post a quick reply then I'm off to bed! You feel this way about the guy because you never gave up your feelings for him. You let him go for your family's sake and now a part of you wants him back. You obviously still see something in him that you want in a guy. Your behaviour becoming rather obsessive but understandable There are some things he's done which are "interesting" like dropping a Christmas present off for your son and quitting his job. Don't really know what to make of that. Dramatic is the word I guess. One one hand it showed you how he felt and he gave your son a present so good guy. On the otherhand he put you in a difficult situation with your ex. But you seem okay with it so I'd just go with it that the "employee" is a good guy. I'm assuming your feelings "coming back to you" or to be more precise coming back from where they were hiding! Well that pretty much sums up how you feel. Provided he still feels the same way for you AND your son and he doesn't resent being kicked aside - if he's the good guy yiu say he is he'd understand. Well you have the potential to get back together. You're being sensible in only seeking friendship (initially you know what will "happen" lol) given the situation with your ex. and the police etc. I'd say take things at a slow and comfortable speed - not good to rush this thing... but hey it'll probably happen with 2 years of with held but charged emotion ready to kick in! You deserve happiness so take it.
Author jhurtinct Posted April 28, 2006 Author Posted April 28, 2006 thank you aleatoryd.. I really appreciate your responses and you taking the time to read my long post. I had a great nights sleep and couldn't think of much else all day. We may see eachother tonight though I'm scared of what will happen, LOL.. But I'll try as hard as I can to keep it slow, LOL.
tinktronik Posted April 28, 2006 Posted April 28, 2006 JC , I woulden't see him. Spend some time working on yourself and figuring out your own life . You have more important things to deal with.
Author jhurtinct Posted April 28, 2006 Author Posted April 28, 2006 I do know that beleive me and I thought about that alot also. I don't want to hurt him again either, it's just for so long I couldn't get him out of my mind and now I have the opportunity to atleast say I'm sorry and try to build a friendship. I do have every intention to take things very slow until after my very important situations are straightened out. And this will no way effect my son if I do see him it will be after my son is asleep tonight ( I now live with my mother) so he wouldn't even know I went out. I haven't heard from him tonight anyway so will see what happens, thank you for your input, I can use all I can get.
Author jhurtinct Posted May 1, 2006 Author Posted May 1, 2006 well I did it I met him friday night and one thing led to another and it was great to be with someone who I felt wanted to be with me also after so long of feeling insecure with my ex and feeling self conscious. It really felt good to see him and be with him again. But know here goes I think he's getting me back for hurting him twice in the past because he hasn't called since, I texted him 2x's yesterday and got no response. Still nothing today, it is so the opposite of who he was, and now its bothering me. Everyone can say I told you so and now I have to deal with it. I think thats bothering more than being away from my ex.
hyakku Posted May 1, 2006 Posted May 1, 2006 well I did it I met him friday night and one thing led to another and it was great to be with someone who I felt wanted to be with me also after so long of feeling insecure with my ex and feeling self conscious. It really felt good to see him and be with him again. But know here goes I think he's getting me back for hurting him twice in the past because he hasn't called since, I texted him 2x's yesterday and got no response. Still nothing today, it is so the opposite of who he was, and now its bothering me. Everyone can say I told you so and now I have to deal with it. I think thats bothering more than being away from my ex. So you did have sex? I'm just wondering I don't think its wrong but your post was worded kind of weird. Go for it, you deserve the best, and as long as you believe he is the best, take it, but if you don't think he is the best you can do, then don't. Really, his phone might be broken or down, its happened to me before. You gotta relax and give it some time. You texted him yesterday, its sunday, anything could have happened. If anything call him tommorow and leave a message. If he doesn't answer that then screw it and wait for him to contact. If he does give a legitimate reason (family emergency, out of town, phone broken, etc), then everythings fine.
Author jhurtinct Posted May 1, 2006 Author Posted May 1, 2006 thanks for your reply, and yes we did. I just can't stop obsessing about him and what happened. Number one I never do things like that I guess I felt it was ok because I had been with him before. Number 2 he was so oooooooo crazy in love with me in the past I can't believe this from him now. Maybe part is because I'm afraid he is just trying to get me back for hurting him so bad 2 yrs ago. I really thought there was a chance because he shocked me and didn't just hang up on me when I called in the first place. I'm sorry for rambling I got myself into this I just can't believe that after not speaking for two yrs and just breaking up w/my sons father after 7yrs of hell I'm obsessing over this guy and my ex hasn't even crossed my mind even though I saw him today because he fina;lly came to pick up our son. What the hell is wrong with me?
Author jhurtinct Posted May 1, 2006 Author Posted May 1, 2006 I'm going to try and sleep tonight its 12 am and still no call no sign of anything. I refuse to call or text again I know he got my messages and even if for somereason he didn't he could have still called. I think he saw me drive by him tonight and still nothing. I'm getting really pissed at myself because this is sick to be thinking of him this much I can't get him out of my head or think about anything else. He was honest with me and said he can't promise a relationship or tell me he loves me (which I didn't want to hear him say anyway) and he just doesn't know and if I just want to have fun and if I want to see him or he wants to see me, but hell I never thought it would hit me like this, wtf.
jerbear Posted May 1, 2006 Posted May 1, 2006 Sex changes everything, give it another day. I fear that you might just be a temporary fix for him.
Author jhurtinct Posted May 2, 2006 Author Posted May 2, 2006 well I went all day yesterday and all day today not calling him. that was until about 8pm when I sent a text mess:: are you mad at me? Got no response= I waited until about 945 and called him he was out of service cause his phone didn't ring so I left a mess that I would be up and I was feening to talk to him so to call me. Now it 1130 and nothingI jusr rook my hint. He deffinately got me back for hurting him in the past :well I haven't seen or talked to her in almost 2 yrs so let me ask her to meet me and have sex then I'll just never speak to her again: That is all I needed right now I had to do it though. Poor me, I am very sad..........................
Author jhurtinct Posted May 2, 2006 Author Posted May 2, 2006 ok so he just text me to say he wasn't mad and he was sorry and he would make it up to me. Now i'm going to sleep ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Walk Posted May 2, 2006 Posted May 2, 2006 I just wanted to say that you need to be very careful in what you are doing. You've jumped from your ex to him so many times now, and it seems like you're doing it because you want the feelings, and not necessary who the man is. You're potentially putting this guy in danger of breaking his heart again. For a third time. And that's not fair to him. I'm not saying what you're feeling or doing is wrong.. but just to take a step back and examine your feelings and actions. Are you igniting this again in order to feel good about yourself? Can you honestly say you are healed from your past relationship to the level where you're not going to drag that into a new relationship? Do you know what you are looking for in a new relationship? Or are you just kind of winging it right now? Again, don't take offense please.. I'm not asking these to be hurtful, but I think they do need to be considered. When you involve another person into your life, you need to be aware of the ramifications of it. How you will affect that persons life, and if you can bring as much to the table as the other person does. If your life is still chaotic from your previous relationship, then you aren't going to be able to give as much as the other person. Its an unbalanced relationship at that point. And it's not terrible fair to this man to imply you are focused on him, when you may inadvertantly be using him as a shield from dealing with your current life. Flood yourself with good feelings so you don't have to deal with the bad. I know how your feeling, and its such a great high. But try to see what the good feelings may be masking. And the ramifications of drawing another person into your life right now.
Author jhurtinct Posted May 2, 2006 Author Posted May 2, 2006 walk thank you and you are probably right. Right now I am remembering that I was happy with him and how great he made me feel, and I probably would have stayed with him the first time had my ex not suckered me back in. One thing I am sure is I am nolonger in love w/exx and it can not and will not happen again. I won't do that to my son or myself. So right now the "emp." nows things have to stay slow (although neither one of us had any self control) and he nows the situation we have been completely honest with each other. I do know that I am much better off right now because of him but the thing is I waited so long in the relationship (if you can call it that) with my ex to beable to just talk to "emp" again and never stopped thinking about him and us, That has to mean something right? But no I am not taking offense to any of thats why I'm here and I appreciate your thoughts.
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