tanbark813 Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 Lots of things are on my mind today, prompted by and large by the events of the weekend. My gf came over late Friday night after getting off work. Saturday morning she was talking about moving in to her new place this Friday, (4/7). This will be the first time she's lived on her own. It just so happens that a good friend of mine is moving back to the area that same day. He wanted me to come over but I was waiting to see what my gf wanted to do. I was basically waiting for her to invite me to her new place but she didn't say anything. Finally I asked if she wanted me to come over. She just gave me a "If you want" type of reply. She said she would rather show me the place once she was settled in. She also was talking about some family thing she had to go to on Saturday. Again, I waited to see if she was going to invite me to that but she didn't. So I asked if she wanted me to attend it with her. She said no and her main reason was that she was only going to be there for 30 minutes anyway so it would look bad. I'm not sure why it would look bad but I found it odd she didn't want me there, especially since the only person from her family I've met is her sister. That day (Saturday) I was playing in a poker tournament all day. That night my gf and I were supposed to meet up with her closest guy friend to make up for missing his birthday a few weeks ago. I made it back from the tournament in time to get changed and ready to go out. My gf came over when she got off work. After she got ready, we headed out but on the way she called up her guy friend and he wasn't going to be able to make it since he didn't have a ride (and has no car). So we ended up just meeting up with my gf's sister and the sister's friend. Things were fine but my gf feels the need to tell me every time a guy touches her or hits on her. We got home around 1am and after fooling around a bit I was drifting off to sleep. I remember waking up and seeing her texting on her phone. I think I asked who it was and I think she said her guy friend. In the morning I tried initiating sex but she just wasn't having it. I was rubbing her, kissing her, even put her hand on me but she just laid there with absolutely no reaction. None. She's not a heavy sleeper either. The slightest movement wakes her up. I was frustrated but the lackluster frequency of sex has been an issue with us since the beginning. I rolled over with my back to her and laid there for about 20 minutes but didn't want to sleep anymore so I got up, got ready, and made myself breakfast. My gf got up about an hour later, visibly irritated. She got ready for work and then left early from my place to go to work. Her excuse was to pick up allergy medication but I think she just wanted to be out of my place as soon as possible. The usual hug and kiss at the door was replaced with a half-assed, one-arm hug from her as she gathered her bags. I haven't heard from her since yesterday morning. I'm starting to wonder what the point of all this is. In my nitpicker thread, ALPHA said something that kind of made sense too: Women tend to not give compliments unless they are really attracted to a particular man. But when they do find a man they really like the compliments start flowing like niagra falls. This should be a tip off to you. This is in regard to the lack of compliments during karaoke. With everything that's been going on, I'm starting to wonder if my gf is with me for reasons other than romantic. That is, I'm a stable, reliable guy who makes a decent living as a software engineer. I'm wondering if that's her main reason for being with me.
alphamale Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 He wanted me to come over but I was waiting to see what my gf wanted to do. mistake #1....you should have put your buddy first and her second. I was basically waiting for her to invite me to her new place but she didn't say anything. Finally I asked if she wanted me to come over. mistake #2....if she wanted you over she would have initiated it. you come of as very needy here. that is bad. Again, I waited to see if she was going to invite me to that but she didn't. So I asked if she wanted me to attend it with her. She said no mistake #3....again you look needy and clingy. she would hav invited you had she wanted you there. especially since the only person from her family I've met is her sister. ...there is a reason for this. That night my gf and I were supposed to meet up with her closest guy friend to make up for missing his birthday a few weeks ago. You don't need to see her two nites in a row. And most definitely don't make plans with her and her "guy friend". Why would you agree to go out with her and him together??? Things were fine but my gf feels the need to tell me every time a guy touches her or hits on her. a woman who is very interested in a particular man won't do this. reverse the situation.....if you were very interested in a particular woman woould you tell her about all the other women hitting on you or whom are interested in you?? probably not. I think I asked who it was and I think she said her guy friend. If I were you I'd be very worried about this "guy friend". I was frustrated but the lackluster frequency of sex has been an issue with us since the beginning. a woman who really like a man will want to f*** him 24/7. period. The usual hug and kiss at the door was replaced with a half-assed, one-arm hug from her as she gathered her bags. she's about to show you the door....take the initiative and break up with her first. In my nitpicker thread, ALPHA said something that kind of made sense too: she's not the one for you TB813.
Author tanbark813 Posted April 3, 2006 Author Posted April 3, 2006 I'm not worried about the guy friend because he's smack in the middle of the friend zone with my gf and her sister. The guy is totally in love with her, and I think my gf knows this, but he's the typical "nice guy" that all the girls are friends with but never f***. I do agree with your other points though.
tinktronik Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 The usual hug and kiss at the door was replaced with a half-assed, one-arm hug from her as she gathered her bags. she's about to show you the door....take the initiative and break up with her first. I totally agree with Alpha, show her the door or she will show you first. She's not the one for you , all of the signs point to this.Sorry Tan
catgirl1927 Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 Seriously, dear. She is just too mean to you, I can't stand it anymore. I think you should break it off.
a4a Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 Tan you deserve better. The person you are with should be your biggest fan!
Author tanbark813 Posted April 3, 2006 Author Posted April 3, 2006 Yeah, I'm leaning towards breaking things off. I just would feel a little bad doing it right before her big move.
blind_otter Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 The usual hug and kiss at the door was replaced with a half-assed, one-arm hug from her as she gathered her bags. she's about to show you the door....take the initiative and break up with her first. I totally agree with Alpha, show her the door or she will show you first. She's not the one for you , all of the signs point to this.Sorry Tan Word. Don't do that whole "long conversations about the relationship" crapola, either.
Author tanbark813 Posted April 3, 2006 Author Posted April 3, 2006 The person you are with should be your biggest fan! That's what I'm sayin'! If it were her up there singing I'd be cheering her on at an obnoxious volume.
catgirl1927 Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 Yeah, I'm leaning towards breaking things off. I just would feel a little bad doing it right before her big move. Screw her big move. Do it!
alphamale Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 I just would feel a little bad doing it right before her big move. oh for god's sake....read what you wrote above! "I would feel a little bad...." blah de blah blah. This child-woman your'e dating may have respected you earlier on in the relationship but she no longer has respect for you. That is bad, very bad.... The only way you're gonna regain that respect (and possibly a 2nd chance with her) is to kick her to the curb....and do it hard and do it now.
a4a Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 That's what I'm sayin'! If it were her up there singing I'd be cheering her on at an obnoxious volume. Singing, or not they should be able to say "wow, you are really great", you should be able to know that they feel that way about you. Not that they are too busy trying to keep you feeling humble. As for the move of hers, it would probably be best to just let it go now. Fresh start for her as well? I am betting that is what she is thinking. I think she thinks mostly about herself. IMHO.
basscatcher Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 Tan--I've read along your posts for awhile about this girl and I think she is diconnecting big time. She is doing what I use to do until I was ready to fully dump the guy I was dating. I'm sorry to sound harsh but I think she is on the slip from you. This is ony my opinion. She's distant, unsupportive, no sex drive, has attitude, is cold, she isn't excited about you meeting her family, she doesn't care if you come over when she moves.. She is totally pulling away from you.
blind_otter Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 Well think of it this way. You break up with her, she takes all her potential aggression out on inanimate, large pieces of furniture and is thus too exhausted to do any other possible crazy breakup stalking things.
alphamale Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 She is doing what I use to do until I was ready to fully dump the guy I was dating. Umm, newsflash PADA.....most women do this. Its very well documented in all sorts of studies...
Author tanbark813 Posted April 3, 2006 Author Posted April 3, 2006 Singing, or not they should be able to say "wow, you are really great", you should be able to know that they feel that way about you. Not that they are too busy trying to keep you feeling humble. I agree. I basically made that same point during an argument. padameckla: You make some good points and you're probably right. body_odor: I'm not worried about crazy ex stalkings from her. She doesn't seem the type. She's too passive-aggressive to do something like that.
tinktronik Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 "many studies'- do I get to use this one too Alpha ? Tan , don't try to be the nice guy here , it will just make you seem more desperate ,trying to be not too harsh here. She has "humbled you" so humble your way right outa there , and soon .Why be nice to her if she's a B to you?
a4a Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 I agree. I basically made that same point during an argument. padameckla: You make some good points and you're probably right. body_odor: I'm not worried about crazy ex stalkings from her. She doesn't seem the type. She's too passive-aggressive to do something like that. Damn man those PA types are the worst. They are the ones that get ya when you least expect it Smile at your face then stab ya in the nuts with a rusty letter opener........
Author tanbark813 Posted April 3, 2006 Author Posted April 3, 2006 Why be nice to her if she's a B to you? Hmmm, that's a good point.
blind_otter Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 Tuberculosis, Take your impulse to be a good samaritan, then, and allow her to take out her feelings (whatever they may be) regarding the break up on her furniture. YOu never know about crazy stalkers. signed, paranoid body odor.
Art_Critic Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 Smile at your face then stab ya in the nuts with a rusty letter opener........ Damn.. you sound like your speaking from experience A4.. are you PA ? Tan.. The dumping is coming.. whether she dumps you or your dump her.. your choice
a4a Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 Damn.. you sound like your speaking from experience A4.. are you PA ? Tan.. The dumping is coming.. whether she dumps you or your dump her.. your choice Hell no Art if I plan to stab nuts with a rusty letter opener I announce it! I really enjoy the look in his eyes when I tell him my plans, the actual act of stabbing nuts is not the thrilling part to me, it is the pre-nut stabbing reaction I love. .......... ah shall I tie you up and shave your nut- sack for you dear? :lmao:
tinktronik Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 Hell no Art if I plan to stab nuts with a rusty letter opener I announce it! I really enjoy the look in his eyes when I tell him my plans, the actual act of stabbing nuts is not the thrilling part to me, it is the pre-nut stabbing reaction I love. .......... ah shall I tie you up and shave your nut- sack for you dear? :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: oh my!
jerbear Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 Tuberculosis, Take your impulse to be a good samaritan, then, and allow her to take out her feelings (whatever they may be) regarding the break up on her furniture. YOu never know about crazy stalkers. signed, paranoid body odor. There was the reason why I avoided this thread. Tuberculosis and Body odor.... :lmao: Seem like I'll get the cooties now... Anyway, from what I've read an followed, I would say she is losing interest, interests levels dropped, and just not into you as much anymore. Honeymoon period is beyond over.
Mz. Pixie Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 Who else here doesn't like Tan's gf??? BOOOOOOOOO! Kick her to the curb! My husband coaches a not so major sport in high school which I think is kinda goofy- but I go to every match that I can and sit there and cheer! A is right- she should be your biggest fan! The fact that she isn't- and doesn't even want to have sex when you put her hand on it- well, geeze I'm flabbergasted!
Recommended Posts