KittenMoon Posted March 29, 2006 Posted March 29, 2006 OMG. My heart is racing. I just went cold. My ex just emailed me about having some stuff of mine, saying he'll drop it off in the future. He also said he does indeed miss me and he ever since we talked (the day I invited him over and he was so cool to me and said he's NOT coming back) and he can't get me out of his head and it's "crazy". And that he's wanted to write and that he's actually TALKED to one of our mutual friends about this (totally uncharacteristic of him- plus he talked to someone I would not expect him to open up to) I know this isn't much. In fact, its probably nothing more than a delayed emotional reaction from him, finally brought up by some of the things I said to him. But I was just starting to feel good again and resigned to moving forward! I've decided he didn't treat me very well and he needs to grow up a lot. I didn't want to hear anything like this! I just wanted to go on believing he doesn't want me in his life and that's he's shut me out completely. I didn't expect to hear from him until our friend's wedding in may. I'm so confused....
blind_otter Posted March 29, 2006 Posted March 29, 2006 I don't know what to tell you, but keep venting as long as you need to...
blueberry Posted March 29, 2006 Posted March 29, 2006 is it worth you sitting down somewhere mutual to talk a bit? if you are truly confused though i'd suggest not meeting up just yet
Author KittenMoon Posted March 29, 2006 Author Posted March 29, 2006 He didn't suggest any course of action. He may not be interested in any reconcilliation at all- maybe he just wanted me to know he does miss me and there is emotion involved in this. Like I said, maybe this is a delayed reaction, he's facing the reality of the situation at last. I don't know. I'm not going to say anything for now.
Author KittenMoon Posted March 29, 2006 Author Posted March 29, 2006 Reeeead my thread on second chances please Already read it MANY times. Like I said, I'm not going to say anything yet. And when I do, I'm not going into the relationship or his pain or anything. Just "let me know when you want to drop stuff off or use your key while I'm gone". He hasn't expressed any regret, or a desire to talk again. He's just saying it hurts. Asking for contact- That's his step to take. Not mine. I was doing better- now there's this stupid little false hope sitting next to this inkling that I DON'T want him back and they're glaring at each other.
CaliGuy Posted March 29, 2006 Posted March 29, 2006 Already read it MANY times. Like I said, I'm not going to say anything yet. And when I do, I'm not going into the relationship or his pain or anything. Just "let me know when you want to drop stuff off or use your key while I'm gone". He hasn't expressed any regret, or a desire to talk again. He's just saying it hurts. Asking for contact- That's his step to take. Not mine. I was doing better- now there's this stupid little false hope sitting next to this inkling that I DON'T want him back and they're glaring at each other. My advice is to step back and maintain your distance. Don't maintain consistent contact with him. Your heart and head are in battle right now. However, let your HEAD win the battles. Don't let your heart make all the decisions because most of the time, it's the wrong one. Trust me, this I know all too well. I'll ask you the same question I just asked someone else in another thread. "What is it that YOU want? What is in YOUR best interest?" Make sure your needs are being met because you can't meet anyone else's if you can't meet your own. I'm not one to encourage game playing but in this case, I think you should be aloof with him. You're trying to get over him and if he does decide he wants you then make him EARN it.
Craig Posted March 29, 2006 Posted March 29, 2006 I'm so confused.... Confusion is a way of avoiding what you know to be the right course of action. You already know what you should do, you just don't like it or don't want to accept it yet.
kitten chick Posted March 29, 2006 Posted March 29, 2006 My advice to you is to do what you think is right for you and not what someone tells you on a forum. Either way this goes, whether you get back together or you stay apart, you want this decision to be yours and yours alone. If it's a mistake, it was your decision. If it works out the way you want it to, it was your decision. Get your head and your heart to have a conversation and do what YOU think is right.
Author KittenMoon Posted March 29, 2006 Author Posted March 29, 2006 I'm going to keep my distance. I think I'm going to ask him to drop off my stuff while I'm not here or give it to a mutual friend. I don't want to see that aloof look in his eyes again. Nothing may have changed on what he WANTS, just how he FEELS. I can't imagine he'd be giving my stuff back if he was planning on reversing what's happened. Maybe our friend suggested he should let me know he's feeling pain too, since I've been so upset because it's seemed to me he doesn't really care much. If he wants to talk, he can ask me directly. If he needs to get something off his chest, then I'll listen- it's only fair because he did the same to me when I requested it. I guess I just gotta see how this plays out.
beriwhit123 Posted March 30, 2006 Posted March 30, 2006 How long since you broke up? Did he leave for someone else and it did not work out? Where the two of them living together? Good Luck
dr strangelove Posted March 30, 2006 Posted March 30, 2006 Hey kitten moon, say hi to hello kitty for me. Ok you are in a situation I always seem to be in. I think before even replying to this do I have to have an opinion on everything? Im a guy and I dont go telling chicks how I feel unless its to soften them up to make them more agreeable to something like, getting back, a shag, etc.. or well it could be he is hoping you dont feel so bad knowing that this has been tough on him as well. Where my money on? 5 to 1 odds he will try for some action when he comes to drop off the stuff. I also say dropping the stuff off will be delayed. right lets see how this pans out
destination_unknown Posted March 30, 2006 Posted March 30, 2006 KM, sorry his mail wasnt more concrete, ambiguity from the part of our exs when in our situation is terribly hard to take. but your right, try not to let yourself get too involved in what he says. do what you feel is right for you right now.
Author KittenMoon Posted March 30, 2006 Author Posted March 30, 2006 Hey kitten moon, say hi to hello kitty for me. Ok you are in a situation I always seem to be in. I think before even replying to this do I have to have an opinion on everything? Im a guy and I dont go telling chicks how I feel unless its to soften them up to make them more agreeable to something like, getting back, a shag, etc.. or well it could be he is hoping you dont feel so bad knowing that this has been tough on him as well. Where my money on? 5 to 1 odds he will try for some action when he comes to drop off the stuff. I also say dropping the stuff off will be delayed. right lets see how this pans out Um, I really doubt this is a ploy to get in my pants... he'd already been there for six years. He's probably trying to make me feel better by letting me know he hurts too. I just wish he had said "Nothing has changed, BUT..." and then his whole tirade. He's such a good guy, just rather immature and well, unaware emotionally. I've said it before, but he has a lot of growing up to do.
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