lildiva Posted March 24, 2006 Posted March 24, 2006 Hey there! Question...... Why dont guys ever approach me? I know they think I am good looking, because I see them stare, yet no one will ever approach me. I am 5'3, blonde, thin, and super nice. So, why is it men talk to my friend who is a little over weight and less attractive than me? WHat is so wrong with me?
ehead Posted March 24, 2006 Posted March 24, 2006 You might be TOO good looking. Do you have a relaxed, laid back, friendly air about you ? A lot of guys are really intimidated by attractive women, particularly if they are really confident or seem to have a touch of "attitude". Women with "attitude" always seem to attract the same type of guys too ... confident alpha males. So if you like geeks, nerds, or intellectuals you should put some scotch tape over the bridge of your glasses. I saw a girl once wearing a sign around her neck that said "Tongue for Rent". That would probably get you some attention, hehe ... though I wouldn't recommend it.
kitten chick Posted March 24, 2006 Posted March 24, 2006 There are a number of other variables that you may be leaving out because you don't realize it's part of the attraction factor. I used to have this problem. I fit your description exactly, or at least I used to. "Nice" girls tend to be less challenging and don't produce the sexy wild vibes that girls with issues produce. It usually takes getting to know them a little better before the guy can dive into that arena. You may or may not be showing a lack of confidence in your body language. You may or may not be holding eye contact. You may or may not be smiling enough, or too much. There are a lot of variables besides looks.
jerbear Posted March 24, 2006 Posted March 24, 2006 Hypothetically situations: at a bookstore: I'm a guy, I see you two and you see me smile at you? What do you do? at a club / lounge: I'm a guy, I see you two, come up to both of you and say hi. What do you do? Just curious of your responses. Body language, looks, etc.. all contribute. Lets look at what she would do first. clothing can change but her actions and reactions (personality) is much harder to correct/change or improve. I've helped my female friends get dates, ie. bought them a dress to go clubbing and stuff. They got a date/bf that lasted a few months & one was 1 year. So I did my job.
kitten chick Posted March 24, 2006 Posted March 24, 2006 Sorry jerbear but I have to disagree with you on this one. A girl could be wearing almost anything and if she oozes sex and confidence she will get approached.
jerbear Posted March 24, 2006 Posted March 24, 2006 Sorry jerbear but I have to disagree with you on this one. A girl could be wearing almost anything and if she oozes sex and confidence she will get approached. Actually it was the hypothetical situation I was more interested in not what she wore. She could wear anything but it is her reactions and actions when someone approaches and introduces himself. If I came up to her group and said hi to her group, what would she do. I saw her, went to her and introduced myself. If she turns around runs to the bathroom, it is not what she wore or maybe I just stank as guy.
blind_otter Posted March 24, 2006 Posted March 24, 2006 I suppose the less attractive girl is more approachable? Dunno. Or alternatively you're completely delusional. Or maybe you wear too much makeup? When I start to think about it there's all sorts of factors. What kind of places you go, what kind of attitude you have, what you project, your conversational skills, the way you dress, your posture.
kitten chick Posted March 24, 2006 Posted March 24, 2006 JB - I think the issue is that nobody is even approaching her. They're not even coming up to her and saying hi. I totally agree with you that if she is turning and running when someone starts talking to her she's got a problem but I don't even think she's getting that far.
jerbear Posted March 24, 2006 Posted March 24, 2006 JB - I think the issue is that nobody is even approaching her. They're not even coming up to her and saying hi. I totally agree with you that if she is turning and running when someone starts talking to her she's got a problem but I don't even think she's getting that far. Now I get it. oops. lildiva: Sorry about the miscommunication. My question now is when you are in the group, are you in an open posture as in welcoming an advance? Examples: back not facing the guy arms not crossed eyes wandering
Vertex Posted March 24, 2006 Posted March 24, 2006 I demand a picture before I can adequately assess the situation
daphne Posted March 25, 2006 Posted March 25, 2006 I can definitely relate to your problem. For years people have told me I was beautiful, guys would stare but then do absolutely nothing. I was getting a complex about it. I developed a lot more confidence though, learned how to flirt with just about anyone, and I wear very little make up. I have found wearing little make up but still being well groomed makes it easier for a guy to approach a very pretty girl. I also tend to be happy most of the time so smiling and joking helps. Basically, you're going to have to accept that men can be wusses around a girl that they think could be out of their league. Even if you don't think you're out of their league, they probably do. A guy's probably going to approach the slightly sleazy girl with boob job and tank top before he approaches the beautiful girl because he's not afraid of the boob job girl. If he does though, you know your answer.
luvtoto Posted March 25, 2006 Posted March 25, 2006 There are a number of other variables that you may be leaving out because you don't realize it's part of the attraction factor. I used to have this problem. I fit your description exactly, or at least I used to. "Nice" girls tend to be less challenging and don't produce the sexy wild vibes that girls with issues produce. It usually takes getting to know them a little better before the guy can dive into that arena. You may or may not be showing a lack of confidence in your body language. You may or may not be holding eye contact. You may or may not be smiling enough, or too much. There are a lot of variables besides looks. You made some good points, Kitten Chick. There are just some women out there that just have that "male magnetism" about them. I can't put my finger on it either. I catch guys checking me out...but, don't have any coming up and asking for my phone number. (that's probably good...don't think my BF would appreciate that). But, before, when I was single...if I would notice them checking me out...I would just look away as I'm shyishly smiling. I guess that's not the best way to grab a guy's attention. But, hey, that's just me. I think I would die of embarassment if a guy just walked up to me and asked for my phone #. By embarassment, I mean, I would probably come off as a loon to him cause of my shyness.
johan Posted March 25, 2006 Posted March 25, 2006 I know they think I am good looking, because I see them stare... Ummm.. Should I say this?... Ok, I will. Are you sure they are staring because they think you are good looking? If you're perceptive you might observe the difference between the two types of stare: 1) Wow, she's hot. 2) Something doesn't look right.
MadDog Posted March 25, 2006 Posted March 25, 2006 Ummm.. Should I say this?... Ok, I will. Are you sure they are staring because they think you are good looking? If you're perceptive you might observe the difference between the two types of stare: 1) Wow, she's hot. 2) Something doesn't look right. I don't think this is the case with lil diva (who knows) but you know what's worse than a girl who's hot and full of herself? Those girls that aren't remotely hot and are full of themselves. You've seen them around. They're average looking at best or even kinda weird looking but they think they're total dimes. They don't have good bodies but they always wear revealing clothing. And then when a guy stares at her, and not in a good way, it only confirms her belief that she's hot stuff. MD
Lonestar Posted March 25, 2006 Posted March 25, 2006 A_C told me I was "smoking hot," so how come men don't approach me either?
Dinnj1 Posted March 25, 2006 Posted March 25, 2006 Once, I had a girl come up to me at a club and say... "You're very unapproachable" "I am?" "Yes" then she walked away.... figure that one out??? Would've chased her down, but she was one of those... "I think I'm prettier then I actually am..."
Lights Posted March 26, 2006 Posted March 26, 2006 Hey there! Question...... Why dont guys ever approach me? I know they think I am good looking, because I see them stare, yet no one will ever approach me. I am 5'3, blonde, thin, and super nice. So, why is it men talk to my friend who is a little over weight and less attractive than me? WHat is so wrong with me? I'm afraid you simply asked the wrong question. Generally, people who post here asking why they aren't being approached usually get all but crucified by a foolish but militant fringe on this forum. There doesn't necessarily have to be anything wrong with one for your situation to happen, though.
jerbear Posted March 26, 2006 Posted March 26, 2006 A_C told me I was "smoking hot," so how come men don't approach me either? that is because you are on top and to hot and some guys can't handle it! :lmao: :D
KnowHowLoveFeels Posted March 26, 2006 Posted March 26, 2006 I don't think this is the case with lil diva (who knows) but you know what's worse than a girl who's hot and full of herself? Those girls that aren't remotely hot and are full of themselves. You've seen them around. They're average looking at best or even kinda weird looking but they think they're total dimes. They don't have good bodies but they always wear revealing clothing. And then when a guy stares at her, and not in a good way, it only confirms her belief that she's hot stuff. MD MD, that was just hilarious... and sooo true. Some girls are so full of themselves. If they are really pretty as they think they are, then they'd be approached by men. There is no science in this.
luvtoto Posted March 26, 2006 Posted March 26, 2006 Once, I had a girl come up to me at a club and say... "You're very unapproachable" "I am?" "Yes" then she walked away.... figure that one out??? Would've chased her down, but she was one of those... "I think I'm prettier then I actually am..." Man, Dinnj1...she was sooo not gellin!
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