l2hvn Posted February 27, 2006 Posted February 27, 2006 It has been a very tough few weeks for him and I. He quit his job and doesn't really have a backup plan. He has been taking out all of his frustrations, resentments, and anger towards me. I have become his punching bag. I don't know how far I can take it. I want to be there for him no matter what happens. But he has been making it very difficult for me. All I have been doing this whole time is help him in every little ways I can. And for him to say I'm not there for him really hurts my ego. I feel like walking on an eggshell. I feel scared that everytime that we're together, something might set him off and then he'll go off on me. One day, he's sincerely apologetic, the next day, he's a walking time bomb. Money really does cause a lot of strain in relationships. He said he shouldn't have to have another pressure from me (our relationship) as he already has one too many. This really hurts me because all I try to do is help him and be there for him and for him to say that I'm a burden... man... it really sucks... I don't really know what to do... I'm so overwhelmed and stressed out. I have never been in this kind of situation before and am hoping someone in LS can give me sound advice.
Nocturnal Posted February 27, 2006 Posted February 27, 2006 I personally wouldn't take it. I can only help someone for so long until their negativity towards me will set me off. And, perhaps he needs a slap in the face (and I don't mean to actually hit him, just give him a reality check). Tell him you've had enough of his ways and it's his own damn fault for quitting his job without a backup plan and you shouldn't be there to take the fall for his thoughtless actions. Furthermore, if he keeps up saying the relationship is a burden he doesn't need, suggest you two spend some time apart. Yeah, I am sure you don't want that but it may be good for you to get out of his way, as he seems incapable of handling his own life in a mature way and distinct between work life and you. If I were you, I'd give him an earful of my own thoughts the next time he's being a jerk. A relationship should be helpful for both parties involved, not just a one way road.
Author l2hvn Posted February 27, 2006 Author Posted February 27, 2006 Thanks, Nocturnal. I guess I'm stupid for hanging on to him. I know he's under a lot of stress right now but he still doesn't have a right to treat me the way he does. He quit his job because he couldn't get along with his boss. It's a very high-paying job. And now he could risk losing everything he worked for. He even second-guessed himself whether he made the right decision or not. And I told him, "I think you're doing what you think is best for you." He has a lot of financial responsibilities as it is. He can survive for a year. But he's trying to start up a small internet company but unsure whether it will make it or not. So he is in that survival mode. It breaks my heart to see those sad eyes. At the same token, I don't ever want to be a burden to anybody. I don't want to be a punching bag. I can only take so much beating, so much verbal crap. We actually had a major fight yesterday. I had to walk out on him as I could not handle that very tense situation. I needed some time out. I've apologized a couple of hours later for doing that. And that I should have been more patient and understanding... I haven't heard from him since. Now under any normal circumstance, I wouldn't be apologizing for the things I know I didn't do wrong. But I did it to him. So yeah.... this sucks big time. I guess a time apart will help solve it. I don't really want to do that. But if it's the only way to help salvage this relationship.... He doesn't appreciate what I've been doing. All he sees is negativity.
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