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is this just closing my eyes?

almostthere

By almostthere
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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almostthere Established Member

almostthere

Posted
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I am very unhappy in my relationship right now. I want to call it quits. I really just want time to figure out if I can deal with everything I would need to deal with in this relationship. Quickly...his exw still loves him and wants him back. She disrespects me by walking right in our house without knocking or anything. She calls him 3 or 4 times a day and they argue while we are trying to have dinner or spend time together. She is making up stories that their 3 children hate me and dont want me around anymore. She calls me names to him and cuts me down. The worst part...he doesnt seem to make it stop. I know he loves me and thats why I have stayed. We have been dating for 10 months now and we have unofficially started living together for the past 3 months. I say unofficially because we never talked about it and I only have clothing there but me and my 2 kids have been spending every night there from 6pm til the morning.

 

Anyway...It will hurt both of us but I want to tell him tonight that this isnt working anymore and I need some time. I dont mean NC or anything but I want to back out of this a bit. in hopes that she wont annoy the hell out of me so much.

 

So two things...one...how do I say this to him without blurting it out?

and two...if I backaway...am i just closing my eyes? or am I on to a good approach?

tanbark813 Established Member

tanbark813

Posted
Posted

Following through with leaving wouldn't be closing your eyes to the situation. If anything, it would be a wake up call to your bf to man up and set some boundaries with his ex.

 

I think telling him basically what you said here would be get the point across. It's good to put it in terms of what you can and can't handle or want rather than pointing fingers more than necessary.

AZKHO Member

AZKHO

Posted
Posted

Yeah follow through with what your heart tells you. If you love him and he loves you, the space will make him realize that he needs to keep his ex wife in order. Explain to him that you still want to see him, but that the ex wife really bothers you and you need to make sure that you are going to be able to deal with that.

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