basscatcher Posted December 7, 2005 Posted December 7, 2005 Ok, in the last 3 weeks two men have come out of the past; so-to-speak. (Note: I have always had a little contact with these two through email but no personal contact. Just jokes and informative info--nothing personal) I dated one for a few weeks back in Feb into Mar then he just drifted away and his excuse was he got busy. (sports and his son). He has recently reached out to apoligize to me for hurting me and basically not being fair to me. He told me he accepted me and can still accept me for me but he has issues still with his past relationship and when he dates someone and they start to develop feelings for him he runs like the wind. He told me not to read into what he is saying but he felt the need to apoligize. Weird- he just came out of no-where with this. All these months later. I told him I was dating someone and he has my emotions and that I am sorry. I told him I forgave him long time ago (which I did) because I knew he wasn't ready for me... Then another guy finally responds after almost 5 months of NC. I tried to blow him off several times and he wouldn't hear it. He is not a possessive type but he liked to keep some little line of connection then he just dropped off into no where so I thought he may have floated off. I sent a short Happy Thanksgiving to everyone I know-- nothing in the context of anything reciprocal coming back. He responded a week later with a short comment about being very crabby lately. He said its easier to read hyroglifics on cave walls then to communicate. So of course I bit the bait and responded with a little sarcasm and proceeded to infom him I have been dating Mr. L for 2 months and he treats me very good. He of course retourted back in his Alpha humor which I replied too. I always enjoyed the stress and tension communicating with him because I learned from him and he kept me on my toes. But he pushed me away but kept me on a string so I pushed him away and I thought he finally cut the tie. WTF.. Why are these men reaching out NOW... I have chosen to happily and contently move forward and I am not going back.. I really was crazy about the first guy. He was like a dream and he was so good to me but disappeared. I refuse to be toyed with, kept on a string, played with. Is it the winter cold? Is it the holidays? Why are they now reaching back? Is it the time of year where eveyone all of a sudden has a guilty concious and realize what they F* up??? I am very content and happy with Mr. L. He is wonderful to me and I chose him. But these other guys. Dang it. The first one is haunting my mind... I wanted him and desired him. The other one was a challenge. He was exciting because he stimulated my mind and he challenged me...I miss that.. So why do men do such things. Why can't they make up their minds when its important at that time. I'm frustrated... Men are fools..... I told both these guys I am involved with someone and I'm happy.... UGH!!!!!!!!
slubberdegullion Posted December 7, 2005 Posted December 7, 2005 So why do men do such things. Why can't they make up their minds when its important at that time. Because they didn't know your timeline. I'm frustrated... Men are fools..... Maybe so, but you're still crazy about us!
Author basscatcher Posted December 7, 2005 Author Posted December 7, 2005 Because they didn't know your timeline. At the time I was involved with each of them They knew I wasn't going to wait around for them to figure out months later what they wanted.. I won't wait anymore. I'm not getting any younger and there is life worth living. I made it clear I will NOT stop my life to wait. They KNEW.. The first one is having trouble moving on from a relationship he had over a year ago and the second one says he can't make me happy. Yet they both still stay in their corners in my life. Why can't they just let go and move on (away from me without me going biatch on them?) Maybe so, but you're still crazy about us! Yes, I am.! That is why I stay here. I'm not burnt out yet on LS and the goofy shyt I read on here. I have learned more here then I ever imagined possible. I definetly have lived a very sheltered life. I have had to google things to learn what some things are and ment. lol "Lord it's hard to be humble; when your subjected to all the worlds ways."
Outcast Posted December 7, 2005 Posted December 7, 2005 The year is ending. They're alone and Christmas (or whatever) is coming so they're looking through their old phone books to revisit old gfs in hope of having somebody around through the holidays.
Author basscatcher Posted December 7, 2005 Author Posted December 7, 2005 The year is ending. They're alone and Christmas (or whatever) is coming so they're looking through their old phone books to revisit old gfs in hope of having somebody around through the holidays. It wont be me keeping them warm.. It's so sad.. The first guy could have really had me under his thumb. The second one could have always had a warm body and home cooked meals. Too bad, Soo sad.. Mr. L has me now. It just ticks me off. Mostly because the first one could really have swept me off my feet. I think I still must have a little feeling for him cause this upsets me so.. Geeze I need to get over this....
whichwayisup Posted December 7, 2005 Posted December 7, 2005 It just ticks me off. Mostly because the first one could really have swept me off my feet. I think I still must have a little feeling for him cause this upsets me so.. Geeze I need to get over this.... Look at it as his loss and the timing was all wrong. Some things happen for a reason, and right now, things are as they are supposed to be. Ofcourse you'll still have some feelings, he stirred up some emotions in you. It's okay. Just keep it in perspective and smile.
Author basscatcher Posted December 7, 2005 Author Posted December 7, 2005 Look at it as his loss and the timing was all wrong. Some things happen for a reason, and right now, things are as they are supposed to be. Ofcourse you'll still have some feelings, he stirred up some emotions in you. It's okay. Just keep it in perspective and smile. I agree they are as they are suppose to be. Yes, feelings have been stirred. I am attempting to keep things in perspective and smile--I just needed to vent it out so I didn't feel like it was a ticking time bomb in me ready to explode at the wrong time. Release and move forward... Smile and it IS HIS LOSS as well as all the others in the past... Thanks..
Author basscatcher Posted December 7, 2005 Author Posted December 7, 2005 he he he That must mean I am correct in my assumption. Men are FOOLS... Most don't wake up till its too late to even find out if they had something that could have been Gold...
Gold Pile Posted December 11, 2005 Posted December 11, 2005 The year is ending. They're alone and Christmas (or whatever) is coming so they're looking through their old phone books to revisit old gfs in hope of having somebody around through the holidays. Their other sources went away, they want sex. You're getting to soft outcast, where's that edge?
justsomeguy Posted December 11, 2005 Posted December 11, 2005 This is how I see it. You should bite your pride and go for it. They could have waited for other reasons that had nothing to do with you. It doesn't mean they didn't think you were important. But, if they take a long time to develope a relationship and aren't sure after they start seeing you, that is when you need to tell them you can't wait. If they appear and your still single, take it as if they were just anobody else you had just met. In a way I had a similar sitution as you and I chose to ignore the girl because I decided I wasn't going to wait for her to reply. I could have just picked up when I ran into her but I had too much pride. I was still single so there was no reason not to treat her like anyone else I just met. I don't even know if she got my contact attempt but I decided I didn't want to wait either way. Strange thing though I met her three years before that, but after I attempted to contact her I didn't expect to wait. I thought I would be disrespecting myself if I fixated on this girl after she she had her chance to respond to me. I thought she didn't want me enough. But I was being silly.
Kitteney Posted December 11, 2005 Posted December 11, 2005 Their other sources went away, they want sex. As much as anyone might hate to admit it, GP is probably right...
Kitteney Posted December 11, 2005 Posted December 11, 2005 As much as anyone might hate to admit it, GP is probably right... oops.. just realized that this might sound harsh. It's not that no one wants to admit that GP is right.... it's just that he's probably right that these guys just want sex.
RecordProducer Posted December 11, 2005 Posted December 11, 2005 Do to them exactly what they do to you! Keep minimum contact and don't say "yes" or "no" in case you need them later. You're happy with Mr. L now, but who knows what time brings? He may as well disappear or disappoint you some day. In any case, I also think that Gold Pile might be right about their reasons for contacting/apologizing to you. It has happened to me and probably to most women that guys from the past come back for more sex.
slubberdegullion Posted December 11, 2005 Posted December 11, 2005 You're happy with Mr. L now, but who knows what time brings? He may as well disappear or disappoint you some day. Maybe so, but I'M NEXT!! It has happened to me and probably to most women that guys from the past come back for more sex. I'm looking for the bad part of that, but I'm afraid I don't see it...
Author basscatcher Posted December 19, 2005 Author Posted December 19, 2005 Wow I've been absent from my own thread. I didn't see the last few replies. Yes, I am very happy with Mr. L RP.. Slubber--Ur standing in line waiting for me 2 B free again? GP-I think you are right about the one dude (the alpha male type guy). Recent update:: The Alpha type guy emailed me Friday night and asked me to call him. He knows I'm seeing someone so what the h*ll..... I emailed him back and asked him if he was alright. I decieded I will socialize with him in email and if he calls and I'm not busy with Mr. L. I will talk with him. BUT ONLY TALK.. I will NOT see him in person. It is best that way. He and I had mostly communication over the phone for 4 months anyway. If he can't respect me and me being involved with Mr. L. then I'll tell him off.. NOW this morning when I come into work I have a msg from yahuu msgr that my exbf from KC, MO requested to add me to his msgr. I sent him a email like 4 months ago and told him he is "dead" to me. I told him I will not allow him to play games with me again and break my heart. I told him to not contact me because I will not allow him to be in my life again. I told him the only way I will talk to him if he is on his death bed or I am on mine. I will never be a fool to him again. NO FRICKIN WAY.. I was wondering if his Biatch deleted the email I sent him months ago and maybe that is why he is contacting me now because he didnt get the email and she is causing him greif once again.. I accepted him to see me online. If I get the opportunity I am going to ask him if he got my email months ago. If he says yes, then I will ask him why he is contacting me. When he says what he needs to say I am going to go biatch on him and tell him to stay out of my life and that I am very happily involved with an amazing guy who doesn't have issues and treats me like his queen..... PERIOD... Now for good news.. Mr. L. took me to one of his frequent hangouts. Its a biker bar in St. Paul. He introduced me to some of his female friends and the one said "I've heard a lot about you. All he does is talk about you." WOW.. I needed to hear that. Mr. L and I have an amazing and wonderful relationship but he is very introverted, he doesnt share his thoughts, feelings or emotions. I have to watch his actions because he doesnt speak openly about what he thinks or feels he shows it in what he does for me.. He brought me to his hang out to show me off.. To prove to the people who know him I exhist.. It was a fun night although I was very tired and my eyes have been watering for 3 days now. (I'm wondering if I don't have an infection in my eyes?) So life with Mr. L. is still wonderful and we are getting closer and becoming more attached. I stay at his place almost every weekend now and I even have my personal stuff there so I don't have to pack it up and bring it with me everytime I go over there. I am thinking about at Valentines Day to give him the keys to my apartment if all is still as great as it has been.
Sand&Water Posted December 19, 2005 Posted December 19, 2005 If I recall correctly... or maybe I might have picked this idea up from another post, but weren't you the one that was going out with this guy that invited you to his house and introduced you to his sisters or something. You were all over him, saying how much you liked him and kids. Is that all over? Now into the dating scene again? This might sound foreign, correct me if I'm wrong. Thanks
Author basscatcher Posted December 19, 2005 Author Posted December 19, 2005 If I recall correctly... or maybe I might have picked this idea up from another post, but weren't you the one that was going out with this guy that invited you to his house and introduced you to his sisters or something. You were all over him, saying how much you liked him and kids. Is that all over? Now into the dating scene again? This might sound foreign, correct me if I'm wrong. Thanks Sorry SW that wasn't me. You can look at the threads I started under my profile to find out about my story.
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