The lies never stop.....

[jen78nc]

Hi all. Well I just found out my husband has lied to me again. He has lied to me about not talking to his "friend" through email. Hes lied about her sending halloween pictures of her and her daughter, when they are really something else, though I dont know what, and I just today I found out that he lied when he said he hadnt talked to her the other day. I asked him straight out if he talked to her on the phone and he said no. I just saw an email from him to her today saying that he enjoyed talking with her the other day.. The weird thing is that he just told me he called her but that she didnt answer. We are also taking a trip down to where she lives since I am from there also , and hes telling her that he would like for them to get together and hang out like they use to. I am just so frustrated. I feel like hes never going to stop lying to me. I know I should probably just leave but I dont know if I will actually do it.. Well, thanks everyone.

[JadeStar]

Hi jen I have read some of your other posts as well, and it just doesn't sound good. I'm sorry he continues to lie to you. I think he will continue to do, even though you have proof of things. I'm not in favor of ultimatiums, simply because most of the time they backfire on people when they do not follow through with what they say they are gonna do. I also think that if people give out an ultimaitum it should be the last resort. I don't remember from you other posts if you all been to counseling or if you have suggested that too him, but if you have and he wont go etc, then you may have to just lay down the law.

 

Will it change things, who knows? I do think that if you go the ultimatium route you need to be preapred to follow through with whatever you say you're gonna do. You also need to know that if you give him one, that theres always a risk that it will not change things where this OW is concerned. IMO you could either hand out the ultimatium and say its either the marriage or the OW. If he chooses you, he needs to understand he has to cut all contact with her. I mean all! He has to want to focus and put his energy into making tha marriage work. He also needs to understand that if he does this to save his marraige that its because he wants too, not just to please you or get you to shut up about it. The other thing is, you could just not give the ultimaitum and just leave. Might wake him up, might not. Hard to say. Only you know what you feel is the right thing to do.

 

 

Jade

[jen78nc]

Thanks jade!

[RecordProducer]

If you leave, he will sleep with her!

 

Call her husband, hun. Tell him what's going on. He was upset about their relationship, remember? And she hung up all of a sudden once, probably because she is hiding this "friendship" from him.

[Art_Critic]

I think it is time to assert yourself.. Lay it all out on the table

Emails.. pictures.. everyting..

Then tell him it must stop or your gone.. and then sit back and gauge his reactions for you to see if you need to consult and attorney or a marriage counselor..

 

You are going to need one or the other

 

Attorneys know all the right people if you need to have him followed.

 

And counselors know all the right attorneys if you need one later

[RecordProducer]

Then tell him it must stop or your gone..

And mean it! Don't leave just to show attitude then come back after you let him pursue an affair with her.

 

and then sit back and gauge his reactions for you to see if you need to consult and attorney or a marriage counselor..

Good advice. If he is so much into her then he isn't into you and your marriage is a lie. But if he decides to stay with YOU then his friendship with her and all the lies must stop. Counseling might help you forgive him and improve your marriage overall.

And counselors know all the right attorneys if you need one later

You sure they don't receive commission for recommending certain attornies?