SadHatter Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 Hi, My girlfriend always seems to take joy in telling me how she can do better than me. If we ever have an argument she will always say, "well my mates all say I can do better than you and that you're ugly/not good looking". Anyway, she must have told me about 12 people who have said this. Now, I am not saying that I am Brad Pitt or anything, but I also really wouldn't think I am ugly - I've been complimented on my looks quite a lot before. So, today, I went down the town and saw her and her friends with her and these were new friends who haven't seen me before. Anyway, she got home and we spoke on the phone and I said, "Oh so did your friends say anything about me?" just because I knew what she would say and she said, "Err yeah but don't worry" and I said, "Nah, go on, I don't care" and she said, "Just that I can do better and you're ugly" and I just thought hmmm...what a surprise...it is like every single one of her mates says this. It makes me wonder whether they do actually say it (nobody has ever called me ugly before) or she just makes it up, maybe to stop me looking elsewhere by making me cling to her? I dunno, anyway, it really annoys me and anyone would be lying if they said it didn't bother them. I guess this post could have come across as me being very arrogant/big headed, so apologies if it has seemed that way. Just curious to see what people's thoughts are on this? Incidentally, there's five years between us, I am 23, she has just turned 18.
brittanyjean259 Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..thats a toughy i dont know why on earth your gf would do this...but it does sound familar....when me and my ex would fight( when we were together)...id say stuff like that to him when hed do something mean to me, say something mean ex.. i duno being with some one long at a young age i think its easier to hauver some bad feelings for one another with me that was the case witch made me always wnt to put him down....because his actions just made me feel down on my self alot. is there anything you might do wrong in this relationship? let me see a picture of you ill straight up tell you if your ugly. hahaha im just playing im sure your not. she might just take pleasure out of hurting your feelings...some people are just like that.
Author SadHatter Posted October 6, 2005 Author Posted October 6, 2005 this is me... http://www.lutonfc.com/me.jpg
JS17 Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 It's not ok for her to constantly tell you that you're ugly. That's a personal attack and it should bother you. Have her try to put herself in your shoes, she's very young and immature and probably hasn't figured out how to do this yet. If you told her that she was ugly and that all your friends thought she was ugly she would be hurt. It's name calling and it's immature. Now, on the other hand, she may be very insecure and could be doing this to make sure you don't take her for granted. Even if this is the case, there are better ways to show it and get security without resorting to calling you ugly. I'm sure you're a perfectly normal looking person.
RecordProducer Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 When I was 15, I started dating a guy for whom two of my GFs said he was ugly. Actually he was cute. I told him this and I still don't understand how I couldn't understand at the time that it was a horrible thing to say to him. I was like laughing at his face about it. I think subconsciously it was because he was 6 years older than me and acted kinda arrogant - like I was a kid (which I was) and he was a man. He said he liked me, but didn't love me so I assume I tried to hurt him for that. We were seeing each other only about once a week. He didn't give me any compliments and looked at me from above, although I was much better than him in every aspect. In your case, I think she is bragging that she is better than you either because she is insecure or craves better treatment from you. Perhaps you never tell her she's beautiful or sexy or smart or fun to be with... She seeks approval from you that she is great; unfortunately she only gets it from her friends. I would simply ask her why she is saying all these things to you, but wouldn't expect an honest answer though, because she probably doesn't know the truth herself either. By the way, you are cute - look younger than your age too.
Author SadHatter Posted October 6, 2005 Author Posted October 6, 2005 hehe thanks for the cute comment! everyone says i look younger too yeah, like 19/20
Author SadHatter Posted October 6, 2005 Author Posted October 6, 2005 i do also tell her that she's gorgeous and when we go out, i always say, "You look lovely tonight" - she never says I do even though other people will say, "you look nice tonight mate" kinda thing. maybe she's just too young and immature for me and for a proper relationship at the moment i also think she is very insecure and sometimes, when we've argued, she's got extremely angry, throwing things etc. bit freaky and scary!
Author SadHatter Posted October 6, 2005 Author Posted October 6, 2005 RecordProducer... Just been on your Website listening to your stuff...great stuff!! Really! I do a bit of singing myself, if you want, you can hear a sample here... http://www.daretosing.com/?class=submission&action=view&id=27026
brittanyjean259 Posted October 7, 2005 Posted October 7, 2005 how could she even look at you and say that? with you having such a cute face thats cruel:-( she should stop that.
Author SadHatter Posted October 7, 2005 Author Posted October 7, 2005 aww thanks brittany, that's a nice thing to say!
RecordProducer Posted October 7, 2005 Posted October 7, 2005 RecordProducer... Just been on your Website listening to your stuff...great stuff!! Really! I do a bit of singing myself, if you want, you can hear a sample here... http://www.daretosing.com/?class=submission&action=view&id=27026 Thanks and you have a very cute voice. Any plans for a serious career? I think girls would go crazy over your baby face. You need good management and a some practice though (to work on your vibrato, back vocals, and a few other stuff). If you become popular, you could tell Miss Too-Good-for-You: "'Excuse me babe, I can do better than ya! "
brittanyjean259 Posted October 7, 2005 Posted October 7, 2005 if you are a good bf to her, and make her feel loved... than the tables could turn like that one day...just dont go down to her level and do the same thing try looking deeper in to it..eiather she is just a flat out bitch... or wants more from you! hopefulyy she wants more! lol your welcome
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