ElaineB Posted September 13, 2005 Posted September 13, 2005 Hello to all here...I'm new here, and really need help understanding this situation. My ex and I broke up in January. I was trying to win him back, and we talked for a few months. He wasn't sure what he wanted and sent alot of mixed signals because he was confused. (one day he didn't love me anymore, the next day he wasn't sure, the next he did still love me) Finally the end of June I told him that I couldn't handle it anymore and that I loved him but wanted all or none of him and told him that we shouldn't have any contact with eachother because it hurt too much and I needed to move on. I asked him...and he promised...to never contact me again unless he wanted to try again. I felt confident with his promise that if he ever contacted me, it would be a sign of wanting to try again because he never once broke a promise to me in the two years we were together. Four months went by with no contact, until last Friday. He sent me an ecard...nothing loving or intimate. He said that he hoped this card would find me and bring nice thoughts to me, that he wanted to write to me for a long time and had thought about it many times but wanted to give me enough time to "walk along my new life". He wrote that even thought he knew I didn't live near where Hurricane Katrina struck he wanted to make sure that I was safe, and to tell me that he was glad to see new photos that I posted and how beautiful they were. The really confusing part about it is that when we were together, I always called him my teddy bear, and he would always sign his cards and emails "Elaine's Teddy Bear"...the ecard he sent me was of one teddy bear sending a balloon with "Hi" written on it to another teddy bear. I gave a friendly, but short reply to his email, saying thank you for ecard, how cute it was and a couple generic things that I was up to in my life in response to a couple of things he had written...enough to leave the door open...but nothing intimate. Nearly 4 days later and I've had no reply back from him. Why would he email me after all this time even though he promised not to unless he wanted to try again. Does he maybe want to try again? If he does, why wouldn't he have responded by now? And if he doesn't, then why contact me at all and out of all the ecards he could have sent...to send an ecard that includes something that once held such an intimate meaning between us? (the teddy bears). Its only been a couple weeks since I've been able to go through my days without crying, and now this has brought all the hurt back as if it happened yesterday. Please try to help me understand. Is there hope here? Thank you....
mazza32cott Posted September 13, 2005 Posted September 13, 2005 I really do feel for you as I know how hard it is to let go when you love somebody. If he really wanted to be with you he would be. Breaking up is always hard whether you are the one initiating it or not. My guess is that he has an affection for you and therefore sent you the email. I do not think it is that he wants you back because if it was he would be there. Maybe you need to tell him not to email you if it is too painful. Good luck. Maz
Rocko Posted September 13, 2005 Posted September 13, 2005 Well it sounds like he still has feelings for you, and is just testing the waters. I wouldn't get my hopes up too high, but keep that communication line open!
Author ElaineB Posted September 13, 2005 Author Posted September 13, 2005 Thank you both for your replies. If he is testing the waters, then why hasn't he responded back by now? If he were interested, wouldn't he have by now? If he's not testing the waters, then why would he contact me after all this time and after promising he wouldn't unless he wanted to try again? How do I tell the difference and how do I handle this?
Merin Posted September 13, 2005 Posted September 13, 2005 How do I tell the difference and how do I handle this? IF your EX is REALLY interested in pursuing this, you WON'T have to try so hard to read the signals they will be unmistakable... He WILL pursue it full on. IF he isn't doing that, then don't knock yourself out trying to understand what it is he wants or is saying.... Hang in there
Taby Posted September 13, 2005 Posted September 13, 2005 I agree with Rocco... I think he's testing the waters... Play it slow... i wouldn't send him another email unless he replies to yours... good luck and keep us posted!
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