jms Posted June 13, 2005 Posted June 13, 2005 I'm 21 years old and I recently broke up with my g/f of 2.5 years. For the past 8 or 9 months, I've thought about breaking up on several occasions, but I could never bring myself to do it. These thoughts came as a result of the fact that our relationship was very similar to a marriage. If I wasn't at school or work, I was with her. We spent every night together. I pretty much spent all weekend with her, unless I had planned to do something with my friends (e.g. play soccer) like a week in advance. If I accepted a last minute invitation to do anything, She would get upset because I was breaking the "plans" we would have otherwise. (I say "plans" because they weren't really plans, it was just like since I didn't say i had something else to do, she would assume we would go shopping saturday afternoon, etc.) During the relationship, she didn't spend much time with her friends. If she wanted to go to the mall, I had to want to go too or she wouldn't go at all. If I suggested the idea of her hanging out with her girl friends some, she would accuse me of trying to get away from her. Also, as my day-to-day priorities would fluctuate, she say she would feel as if she wasn't "number one" in my life. Despite me trying to explain that there are things I need to do sometimes that come before seeing her immediately, but that she was at the top of my priorities "overall" or longterm. The relationship was a very honest one, so there was not really any element of distrust. In any event, recently she has gone to California to intern over the summer. During the first couple of weeks I found myself really enjoying the feeling of independence associated with not having "default" plans with her all the time. I told her that we needed to break up. Its been 2 more weeks and now I find myself thinking about her a lot. I miss her. I feel like I want her to be part of my life. On the other hand, I'm not so sure that getting back together is the right thing to do (or even possible at this point.) I have a ticket to go visit her on her b-day in a few days. I bought the ticket before we broke up. We planned on going out for her 21st. I really want to see her, but when I ask her if she wants to see me she just says "do whatever you want." I'm not sure if that is her throwing up a wall, or if she is truly indifferent towards me now. I'm also not sure if going out there is going to do more harm than good for her emotionally. For the most part I've been kind of self-centered and thinking about what will make me feel better (which is seeing her). I have the option of taking a $50.00 hit on the ticket, and getting the rest as a voucher for future travel from Delta. I don't know what to do. I'm also confused about the feelings I'm having in regards to her. Do I miss her just because I can't have her now? I've had 2 other girls express interest in me, but I'm pretty certain it is too soon for anything like that because I feel weird doing anything more than just talking. I know I love her, but I just can't go back to being tied down in the manner I previously described. Its so frustrating.
pils16 Posted June 13, 2005 Posted June 13, 2005 im pretty much in the same boat as you. im 21 and me and my gf of 4.5 years broke up a few weeks ago. the way i look at it is that were young. there is so much stuff out there to do and enjoy before you get tied down forever. in time your ex will realize that too. i keep on hearing for my situation that its over for good but i have a hard time believing that. if 2 people love eachother i dont think anything can keep them apart. but, i do think time apart is good for both of you. as for seeing her i think you should, a lot of people will disagree with me but i still see my ex and we still get along great because weve both accepted what has happened. you dont wanna lose her completely so i say go see her for her bday. dont know if that helped but good luck.
Recommended Posts