Screenplay Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 I need to cash in on a little of my "help and be helped karma" here, im going insane. Brief backstory. Basically, about two weeks ago I checked my account on a local singles site and I had noticed a girl had viewed my profile that didnt have the ability to initiate contact, so I sent her an email filled with my unique cynic humor. I figure she since had no photo and made herself sound perfect (An intellectual, slender, level-headed) etc., Id probably just get nothing back from her. Well, it didn't turn out that way. She ended up loving it, and gave me her personal email addy. We've been sending each other page long emails and she has consistently sounded like such a ridiculously cool person. Actually intellectual, shares some interests, and level-headed. The fact that she just happens to be attractive after she sent me her photo in a later email is almost a moot point. I know she lived with her ex for a year after high school when ended 4 months ago. I gave her my cell number, which was a subtle hint to get hers so we can just talk on the phone as opposed to email and IM (A personal preference of mine). However, she said that "I've wrote your number down, maybe I'll call you sometime." A couple days later (Last Sunday) I IMed her and asked "so have I passed the "He "could" still be a stalker" mark yet and ask you for your phone number? like I said, if your nervous dont worry about it, otherwise, I promise ill only call 20 times at 3am ;)" She saw the humor, gave me her number, and said that she trusted me. However, we havent talked on the phone yet, My schedule was unusually hectic and hers just happened to be hectic at all the opposite times. Last night I sent her an email, about a page long as normal, but near the end I said "Do you have a break in your plans for the weekend or during the evenings later on this week (other than Friday, I mean)? If not, I'd offer to meet you for coffee (or if you're feeling adventurous and athletic a walk around the zoo). Plenty of time to discuss the finer points of writing, the culture of Bikini Bottom (A spongebob squarepants reference, shes a fan), and public enough so if the dwindling chances you are actually a male Brooklyn plumber come true I can lose you in the crowd ;)" Well, its the next day, and no email. In the past it has sometimes taken a couple days to hear back, and when I do it always starts with "Sorry it took so long to reply.." and followed by what she was doing, but the fact that the last email had some weight to it makes me nervous. I tried calling her this evening but no luck. To top off the uneasiness, my IM client puts anyones away message in bold next to their name, and hers today was "chilin with barry" all day until it changed to "sleep". Granted barry could be anyone, even if it was her ex it wouldnt bother me if the book is indeed closed, but im sure you all know how easily a mind can lash itself. ----- So, heres the synopsis, and those were the facts. Shes been nothing but warm and friendly in her emails, a little teasing back and forth, and we've talked about everything from how she grew up to bad drivers, cartoons to literature. Her profile was a new one on the site, and she hasnt used it since we swapped to personal email. We've exchanged photos here and there, and when I shared recordings of me singing she said that she had to "admit she really liked my voice, and listened to it several times". Its been pretty even as to who initiates conversation, and who keeps it alive. I cant help but see interest here, but at the same time I sense maybe some reservation or shyness. Im hoping im not just being used for male attention or as a rebound. Its just odd, meeting her was totally a chance encounter, and i cant help but think we click somewhat. Im honestly really attracted to her as a person, and though I could find someone new if things fell apart I would definately be a bit torn over it. Someone talk sense into me here. My gut instinct tells me that I havent screwed up, but rather that maybe she is shy about meeting in person. Maybe she just hasnt checked her email yet, hung out with barry all day, and came home to go right to bed. I just dont want to screw this up is all.
westernxer Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 Online dating is weird... sometimes they disappear, just like that. You didn't do anything wrong, because anything goes. That's the nature of online dating. Why don't you give her a call? Stop e-mailing once you get the digits. Otherwise you're just wasting time (and words).
Author Screenplay Posted May 12, 2005 Author Posted May 12, 2005 Yeah, I've tried the online scene off and on and I know how quickly people can just go poof, and though its a possiblity I dont see that out of this one. Normally the ones that disappear always seem subtly flakey and do so within a couple days, and this hasnt fit that mold. The first time I actually had a chance to call her was today, thus why I still stuck to the email. When I called today I didnt get an answer, though Im not sure if she was home (no cellphone). Otherwise yeah, once the phone conversation begins email is pretty much done.
westernxer Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 I do the online thing from time to time, mostly on Craigslist. I can understand your feeling bummed out, especially when you've achieved some sort of intellectual connection with someone. I actually met someone like this once, and our entire date consisted of really stimulating conversation about all sorts of topics. It blew me away... this is what I've been looking for. Finally, I thought. She sent me an e-mail the next day saying how much she enjoyed her evening. I phoned her the day after and left a message. She never called back. A week later she sent an e-mail saying she was exclusive with someone else. I was bummed, but I didn't respond. It was just one date, so no hard feelings. I have a gut feeling she was seeing this other guy all along. Oh well. At least she told me. Good luck with your situation. You phoned her and left the ball in her court. Good job. If she e-mails you back, don't respond. Make her call you. There's no excuse for her not to.
Author Screenplay Posted May 15, 2005 Author Posted May 15, 2005 Well, I finally talked to her earlier this week. I've come to find out that the reason she was suddenly distant was that an aspect of her past was dug up and shared by someone it should not have been. I wont give details, but her ex was not a very nice person, draw your own scenarios if you please. She has since seen her ex twice in the last 4 months, as they often went to the same places and if they bumped into each other they would chat for a bit. She knows that she doesnt want to go back to him due to his nature, and from what she tells me barely likes him as a friend. Her best friend however took this as she was going to put herself in that position again, and took her personal information to a mutual friend (Barry). This broke her trust of her best friend a great deal, and she ended up hanging out with Barry all day explaining things to him so that instead of convincing her not to go back to her ex, to convince her friend that she isn't going to.
westernxer Posted May 15, 2005 Posted May 15, 2005 She's riding a tidal wave... better get out of her way!
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