I am over him

[perfectlyflawed459]

I am over him, and I can say that with confidence.

 

Tonight marks the night that I have completely lost any ounce of respect I had left for this person. He texted me tonight asking if I was going to college regularly, and thinking this was a step towards being civil to one another I replied saying yes I was. Then he does a 180 and sends me a 7 page text saying how he thinks I am pathetic and that I need to move on and that there is no hope for us ever again and that I need to be more logical and stop letting my emotions govern me and stop bashing his girlfriend. He also said that he knows himself very well and that he knows he is more mature than he was when we were together and that the sweet guy I fell in love with does not exist anymore. That these will be the last words he says to me and that if he has to say anything again, he will "tear me down." I guess it is a crime to try and be civil and want to build a new bridge with someone you still held very dear to you and missed having in your life. What an unappreciative prick.

 

Honestly, this message did not make me sad at all or set me back, but rather reminded me how emotionally effed up this guy is. He is not the guy I fell in love with, he is some new terrible guy that has no sympathy in his heart and thinks you need to get rid of emotions to be logical. I know I have done nothing but hold respect for him and think of him highly. I have done nothing but let him go and be happy. I even went through hell to allow myself to finally forgive all the crappy things he has done to me since we broke up, of which I have never called him out because I wanted to be the bigger person. And I sure as hell know I have not said a peep about him or his girlfriend to any co workers or anyone, but my best friend and mother. Yet he has the effing audacity to still treat me like dirt after I did everything in my power to do everything to make things right between us? Well **** him! I cannot believe I wasted so much time dwelling over him! He is a heartless jerk who is too narrow minded to realize that the way he lead me on and such is what caused me to become really sad again 5 months ago. How can someone be so heartless and not take account for their actions, especially after it was very evident what he did? In my eyes, HE IS the emotionally immature one, the immature one in general. I hope he keeps his promise and that I never ever hear from him again. I almost pity him because he thinks the way he is now is right. Oh boy he is in for a hard life. I had a feeling this would happen though because not matter what I do, I always manage to "do something wrong" in his eyes. He finds some little tiny thing or some rumor of something I said and goes and uses it against me. There was never any pleasing him, him hating me is almost inevitable since he nit picks everything I do it seems. All I have done was live my life and heal and become happier, then when I finally decide to be nice and text him, he does this. I always screw up somewhere in his eyes haha, although I fail to see where.

 

I feel so liberated!! Ugh this is what I needed for him to show me that he really and truly is a jacka$$ at heart and that I can do so so SOOOO much better than this *********. I actually do not know who this new ********* is, but I sure do miss the sweet guy that use to inhabit that being. Unfortunately he seems to have been killed off by an effed up jerk. It is really unfortunate, but I will always hold a special place for that sweet guy in my heart. This new loser can just shove his gf up his ass along with he false accusations and go straight to hell. Hah he thinks he tore me down, baby he just rose me up higher!

Edited February 1, 2012 by perfectlyflawed459

[moosekaka]

I am over him, and I can say that with confidence.

 

Tonight marks the night that I have completely lost any ounce of respect I had left for this person. He texted me tonight asking if I was going to college regularly, and thinking this was a step towards being civil to one another I replied saying yes I was. Then he does a 180 and sends me a 7 page text saying how he thinks I am pathetic and that I need to move on and that there is no hope for us ever again and that I need to be more logical and stop letting my emotions govern me and stop bashing his girlfriend. He also said that he knows himself very well and that he knows he is more mature than he was when we were together and that the sweet guy I fell in love with does not exist anymore. That these will be the last words he says to me and that if he has to say anything again, he will "tear me down." I guess it is a crime to try and be civil and want to build a new bridge with someone you still held very dear to you and missed having in your life. What an unappreciative prick.

 

dear girl,

 

I am sorry for you he acted like that. Truth be told ten years ago I was just as immature as him, and probably still am, but now I see the importance of not burning bridges and maintaining civility even under duress.

 

I don't think deep in his heart he really is such a jerk, but I could be projecting. I am sure though that he is/was hurt too and I guess this is his way of detaching, by throwing away the past and 'hating' you. Trust me when I was your age I too had to convince myself to hate the person I could not be with in order to move on. This is just an immature reaction, his pride and ego dictating his actions and I am sure in a couple of years he will come to regret his actions towards you.

 

Give yourself and him a couple of years. Move on but try not to take his actions too personally, it does not reflect on your character and he will realize his mistake one day, that I am sure.

[perfectlyflawed459]

I appreciate your reply moosekaka...it did anger me, that text, because I know that what he said to me was so totally uncalled for and based on false statements.

 

You know, I hope deep down that your words are true...that deep down the guy I fell in love with still lives within that monster he is today. My mom even told me that hate is the opposite of love and in reality he is the one who being really immature.

 

Honestly, I could care less if I ever hear from him again...and that is a lot for me to say since i have preeched on this site how much I will always care about and love this guy. Whether or not he will regret what he said to me tonight, I have not clue. My mom believes he will regret it, but I am choosing to take it for what it is and let him live his pathetic life as the more "mature" person he thinks it is.

 

It is hard not to take it personally, after all the sacrifice I have put myself through for him I did not deserve that hatred from him at all, but sadly no matter what I say, he will just believe what he wants to.

 

I guess only time will tell what happens, but I am moving past this as the graceful person that I know I am. I know myself and I know in time I will be able to perhaps forgive this, but even at that, I will never forget.

[Frank13]

Then he does a 180 and sends me a 7 page text saying how he thinks I am pathetic and that I need to move on and that there is no hope for us ever again and that I need to be more logical and stop letting my emotions govern me and stop bashing his girlfriend. He also said that he knows himself very well and that he knows he is more mature than he was when we were together and that the sweet guy I fell in love with does not exist anymore. That these will be the last words he says to me and that if he has to say anything again, he will "tear me down."

 

 

Maybe I am just really emotional tonight but your post made me cry. You are such a beautiful girl, and from your postings I know you have such a beautiful heart. You did not deserve the venom he spewed. There is nothing he can say to tear you down. This guy must have a brain tumor or something. How can anyone be that messed up in the head? He should also go see the Wizard of Oz because he definitely needs a heart.

 

I had a feeling this would happen though because not matter what I do, I always manage to "do something wrong" in his eyes. He finds some little tiny thing or some rumor of something I said and goes and uses it against me. There was never any pleasing him, him hating me is almost inevitable since he nit picks everything I do it seems.

 

 

I know this phrase is used a lot here but if there is one case where it is 1000% true it is yours - HE DOESN'T DESERVE YOU!!! He doesn't even deserve the memory of having known you.

 

This new loser can just shove his gf up his ass along with he false accusations and go straight to hell.

 

Now that made me chuckle.

 

I am sorry this happened to you. I could see if you cheated on him or something but all you had was love for him. Then when he wanted to split up you still loved and cared for him. You left him and his new gf alone. Then for simply trying to be nice and civil he turned into a psycho. Totally uncalled for and very immature.

 

There are 7 billion people in the world. If half of them are men, I would say you could find 3,499,999,999 of them better than him.

 

I think if you look up the word "loser" in the dictionary, you will see a picture of him.

 

One last thing. It may take months and it may take years but he is going to regret losing you some day and for texting what he did tonight. Hopefully his new gf will dump him and when he begs for her to come back she will treat him like he treated you.

 

Hugs.

[Frank13]

My mom even told me that hate is the opposite of love and in reality he is the one who being really immature.

 

I think logically love and hate are opposites, but I have heard it said many times that the opposite of love is indifference . I recently had someone do something to me that I should hate them for. However, I feel so indifferent towards them and they don't even enter my mind. To me hating them is wasting my energy on them. They simply aren't worth it.

 

It is hard not to take it personally, after all the sacrifice I have put myself through for him I did not deserve that hatred from him at all, but sadly no matter what I say, he will just believe what he wants to.

 

Maybe his hatred has something to do with what moosekaka said. That is, he is so immature that he has to convince himself that he hates you in order to move on. Hate is such a strong emotion. I don't know why he wouldn't just feel indifferent. Maybe he isn't happy with his new gf. Maybe he is pretending to hate you to push you away so you don't see his new relationship crash and burn. I could see an immature person do that.

[Philosoraptor]

I agree that you can see that you don't want him back; but your post and degration of him shows that you are not fully there yet. Nothing wrong with that at all, just don't want you to get your hopes up too far as this liberating anger will fall off at some point. It doesn't mean that anything is wrong when it falls off, just that his actions still cause such a high emotion for you.

 

I believe you are over him as a person, but not the relationship or the unfair way you were treated. I hope both of you find happiness and joy in the world.

[perfectlyflawed459]

I agree that you can see that you don't want him back; but your post and degration of him shows that you are not fully there yet. Nothing wrong with that at all, just don't want you to get your hopes up too far as this liberating anger will fall off at some point. It doesn't mean that anything is wrong when it falls off, just that his actions still cause such a high emotion for you.

 

I believe you are over him as a person, but not the relationship or the unfair way you were treated. I hope both of you find happiness and joy in the world.

 

You know what, I usually agree with this and do not advocate anger, but this is something that was completely uncalled for and unjust. It takes a lot to piss me and dislike people, but he definitely pushed my limits on this one. I only wish I had a list of all the crap he has done to me and I let it all slide because I believed that was the right thing to do and I wanted to see the good in him. I have done nothing but be nice and hold respect, so I think I have every reason right now to be angry. I know this too shall pass and that I will find it in my heart to forgive him yet again and let this go, but that doesn't mean what he said to me and how treated me is right.

 

It is just amazing how cruel people can really be. It is disgusting and sickening

[sunflower11]

I remember when this happened to me and I discovered who he really was and I was so glad things were over and I wasn't with "that" type of person again. It's a good thing when you open your eyes and realize the real "him" and how they are not going to change. Anger is a good thing and tho many here will say you are not over them...well girl, at least you have made your point pretty clear that you WANT to get over him cause I know you still had that hope a couple of months ago of getting back together with him. So...whatever, I think its a good thing..what does it matter if you are not totally over him? You are well on your way

[Philosoraptor]

You know what, I usually agree with this and do not advocate anger, but this is something that was completely uncalled for and unjust. It takes a lot to piss me and dislike people, but he definitely pushed my limits on this one. I only wish I had a list of all the crap he has done to me and I let it all slide because I believed that was the right thing to do and I wanted to see the good in him. I have done nothing but be nice and hold respect, so I think I have every reason right now to be angry. I know this too shall pass and that I will find it in my heart to forgive him yet again and let this go, but that doesn't mean what he said to me and how treated me is right.

 

It is just amazing how cruel people can really be. It is disgusting and sickening

Even in the most extreme of circumstances, anger is just allowing other's actions to control your emotions. But I do agree that this series of events was quite immature and unjust. All we can do is pity those who attack in this manner and wish them a better future.

[stitch702]

Hey, sorry to hear about what happened. It sucks when you have nothing but good intentions to end things amicably by extending a hand to be civil with eachother only for it to be completely rejected. However, that is a risk you were very brave to take. Perhaps this event is good because from your previous posts, you seemed to have held your ex to such a high regard almost blaming yourself for the cause of the break-up. Now you can at least take him down a notch.

 

On a positive note, I respect the way you handled yourself through-out the break-up. It seemed that you did a bit of soul-searching and acknowledged your mistakes during the relationship and can now work on ways on improving them so your next relationship can be even better! Don't let this event anger you so much, but do use it as a way for you to move on. Him being angry with you only shows that he still has some unresolved feelings and emotions and he may be lashing back at you. You did say he tried to approach you a couple of times after the break-up, but that you completely blew him off because you were hurt. Maybe he percieved that the wrong way and took it as a sign that you were angry at him so he too became bitter and angry at you...bah whatever there I go overanalyzing stuff again...anyway you will be fine. Just keep trucking a long and moving on...

[perfectlyflawed459]

Maybe I am just really emotional tonight but your post made me cry. You are such a beautiful girl, and from your postings I know you have such a beautiful heart. You did not deserve the venom he spewed. There is nothing he can say to tear you down. This guy must have a brain tumor or something. How can anyone be that messed up in the head? He should also go see the Wizard of Oz because he definitely needs a heart.

 

 

 

I know this phrase is used a lot here but if there is one case where it is 1000% true it is yours - HE DOESN'T DESERVE YOU!!! He doesn't even deserve the memory of having known you.

 

 

 

Now that made me chuckle.

 

I am sorry this happened to you. I could see if you cheated on him or something but all you had was love for him. Then when he wanted to split up you still loved and cared for him. You left him and his new gf alone. Then for simply trying to be nice and civil he turned into a psycho. Totally uncalled for and very immature.

 

There are 7 billion people in the world. If half of them are men, I would say you could find 3,499,999,999 of them better than him.

 

I think if you look up the word "loser" in the dictionary, you will see a picture of him.

 

One last thing. It may take months and it may take years but he is going to regret losing you some day and for texting what he did tonight. Hopefully his new gf will dump him and when he begs for her to come back she will treat him like he treated you.

 

Hugs.

 

Thank you for your kind words Frank, they mean a lot. Believe it or not, this cruel text did not make me cry (at least it hasn't yet, it could hit me hard at any random moment I am sure) or ruin my day today. I actually have been having a great day surrounded by the many people that love me and see the beautiful person that I really am. I also have so many people that can say in my defense that all the accusations he threw at me are absolutley absurd and ridiculous. I can take comfort knowing that all the accusations he threw at me are completely false and in the fact that I know I am and have been a good person and I am going to continue on that path. I am going to do everything in my power to move past this rude encounter and find it within my heart to forgive and let go. Right now, I will admit that I am a little angry, but I know it will not be like that for too long. I have a great life with great people in it, and all the positive things I have going for me are more than enough to pull me past this crap.

 

My mom thinks he will regret what he said to me too. I do not wish any ill will towards him nor do I hope out any hope that he will regret what he did to me, but all I have to say is that karma can be a major B I T C H.

 

About the hate and love, I can honestly say I do not hate my ex even after his mean words were said and that I am a little more indifferent to what he did rather than sad, angry, etc. My anger has subsided a little since I have had a few hours to sleep it off and cool off, it is not completely gone, but I know I am getting there.

 

Yea there could be many factors as to why he decided to do this to me, but in the end, only he knows his true feelings and what not. Again I know I have been doing everything in my power to heal and forgive in order to start over with him, but if he chooses to believe that I have spent this whole time holding grudges against him and his gf based off false rumors or whatever, then let him think that. He is the immature one here and I know that I have been doing the right thing.

[perfectlyflawed459]

Even in the most extreme of circumstances, anger is just allowing other's actions to control your emotions. But I do agree that this series of events was quite immature and unjust. All we can do is pity those who attack in this manner and wish them a better future.

 

Thank you for your words of wisdom Philosoraptor. I will definitely keep this thought in mind if times do get rough in my process of letting this go.

[Anela]

I misread the title; I thought you'd written, "I ran over him."

[Frank13]

I misread the title; I thought you'd written, "I ran over him."

 

......if only she had the opportunity......lol.

[perfectlyflawed459]

^ Haha that made me chuckle but don't worry, if I cannot do it, I will let karma run him over for me instead