After 5 months I we crossed paths

[stunned8165]

After 5 months of low contact (just a few e mails and texts) and recently one month of NO contact at all, we crossed each others paths yesterday. I was coming out of a driveway at a store on the corner and she just left the red light. I noticed she turned to look straight ahead after seeing me then JUMPED into the other lane. I sure do hope that messed her up a little. Surprisingly enough, It didn't bother me as much as you might think. Atleast now I know she's driving the same car I found for her, still has the same licence plate on the front that I bought for her at Old Town while were having a great time with the kids that weekend and heading towards where she moved to. ... What I really was looking hard for is the kids in the car. But the back windows of the van are tinted and I couldn't see them. I miss the kids so so much.

 

Heres my story if you want to understand

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t302201/

 

I just felt compelled to get this out.

[stunned8165]

After 5 months of low contact (just a few e mails and texts) and recently one month of NO contact at all, we crossed each others paths yesterday. I was coming out of a driveway at a store on the corner and she just left the red light. I noticed she turned to look straight ahead after seeing me then JUMPED into the other lane. I sure do hope that messed her up a little. Surprisingly enough, It didn't bother me as much as you might think. Atleast now I know she's driving the same car I found for her, still has the same licence plate on the front that I bought for her at Old Town while were having a great time with the kids that weekend and heading towards where she moved to. ... What I really was looking hard for is the kids in the car. But the back windows of the van are tinted and I couldn't see them. I miss the kids so so much.

 

Heres my story if you want to understand

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t302201/

 

I just felt compelled to get this out.

 

 

Let me add now that I think about it... This is the same route we would run into each other on our way home 2 to 3 times a week or more when we were together. Now since she left, I haven't seen her along that route for 5 months. There is no need for her to go that way. She lives about 2 miles to the south of that road. In this area, they are all main streets so other routes to avoid running into me is a plentiful. And she knows I pull into the same store every day to play lotto along said route. ........ But she knows what time, and what route I take home everyday. She leaves work about the same time too. . Now it has been over a month since I have shut down ALL contact with her. For 4 months it has been LC with just a text or e mail here and there. And I'm sure she has found out I'm dating someone else. Two women friends of mine told me that they think she is doing it on purpose. Now that's just their thoughts and say that's something a girl would do because even though they dumped you, the thought of you moving on bothers them. Me, I say this first time is a coincidence. But if I run into her again, I might have to say something else is going on. Thoughts any one?.. And go easy WilsonX....lol

[Rorschach64]

Answer me this, what do you want from her?

 

If she wants back with you she will let you know, anything else is just poppy cock! I think you shouldn't look too much in to this because she isn't worth your time especially since you are dating someone and she seems like she is being rather childish if she is snooping.

[stunned8165]

Answer me this, what do you want from her?

 

If she wants back with you she will let you know, anything else is just poppy cock! I think you shouldn't look too much in to this because she isn't worth your time especially since you are dating someone and she seems like she is being rather childish if she is snooping.

 

 

Not sure ... Maybe i want the satisfaction of hearing she screwed up. Who knows. Curious mind I guess. There ARE kids involved though. Did you read my original thread of what happened?

 

Like I said, for now, I'm just looking at it as a coincidence. We'll see what happens. But it seems really strange to being going this way now. No need to. And she risks the kids seeing me which all this mess has been really really hard on them. They took it really hard when she yanked them away from the only dad they know. Why would she risk that?

[stunned8165]

Once again, we cross paths. Same route, same time.. After 5 1/2 months of not hearing a peep, or running acroos paths, why twice in two weeks. Like I said, makes no sense her going that direction. I saw her, and she definately saw me. If I know her, she;s probably expecting me to text her or e mail her that I saw her. Well, if this is accurate, she has another thing coming because I'm not. And I won't!

[immitable]

Once again, we cross paths. Same route, same time.. After 5 1/2 months of not hearing a peep, or running acroos paths, why twice in two weeks. Like I said, makes no sense her going that direction. I saw her, and she definately saw me. If I know her, she;s probably expecting me to text her or e mail her that I saw her. Well, if this is accurate, she has another thing coming because I'm not. And I won't!

 

hey stunned I see that you are excited, let it be and pretend like it isn't happening.

 

You need to focus on yourself at the moment. Why she is snooping no one knows, she needs yet to hit the rock bottom.

Best of luck and keep it cool man.

[stunned8165]

don't know if I'm excited. Just confused as to why. She knows I have been going that way for 10 years. Now all of a sudden she is going that way again? Like I said, it's kinds out of her way.

[immitable]

don't know if I'm excited. Just confused as to why. She knows I have been going that way for 10 years. Now all of a sudden she is going that way again? Like I said, it's kinds out of her way.

 

Like I said you need to forget her for the time being and questioning what ifs and whys, that way you grow stronger. Yuu need to focus on yourself it is still too early to make any assumptions.

[nu464]

Being blown off...or not??

 

Well, after crossing paths of a certain someone I have always fancied for many years (17 actually), we did so again recently. I have been pondering leaving my current relationship and he is in the same boat. Though - for him, he has a home purchased with his ex fiance so its more complicated than my situation. They still live there together.

So - here's the question. He called me a month ago (after no contact for 5 years) and has been very complimentative in his emails and calls, which have been every day. He asked me to visit when his gf (aka ex fiance) was out of town. And I did. Then the next day he emailed me saying he would be gone on vacation for over a week.

 

Am I thinking about this too much? Was that a major blow off? He could have easily called, and didn't. Am I a sucker? Or perhaps he is thinking about his relationship and what to do? I am unable to call him since she still lives with him, I have no desire to cause him grief. Hmm...what do you think??

[stunned8165]

Being blown off...or not??

 

Well, after crossing paths of a certain someone I have always fancied for many years (17 actually), we did so again recently. I have been pondering leaving my current relationship and he is in the same boat. Though - for him, he has a home purchased with his ex fiance so its more complicated than my situation. They still live there together.

So - here's the question. He called me a month ago (after no contact for 5 years) and has been very complimentative in his emails and calls, which have been every day. He asked me to visit when his gf (aka ex fiance) was out of town. And I did. Then the next day he emailed me saying he would be gone on vacation for over a week.

 

Am I thinking about this too much? Was that a major blow off? He could have easily called, and didn't. Am I a sucker? Or perhaps he is thinking about his relationship and what to do? I am unable to call him since she still lives with him, I have no desire to cause him grief. Hmm...what do you think??

 

 

It's a hard call when you don't know what's going on in their heads.. In my case, I look at it as an opportunity to make me feel better. For example... even though it just might be a coincidence (which I find it hard to believe now after twice)..... I know her. I know she is expecting me to say something. And It makes me feel in my head, that I have the upper hand in THIS particular situation. And again, because I know her, she WILL get curious in one way or another as to why I didn't reach out to her letting her know I saw her. She knows I know, she knows I saw her...lol . This is how I choose to run with it and continue on. If she is doing this on purpous, so be it. She wants to hear from me?.. Too bad. She won't hear a damn thing from unless SHE decides to the reaching out now. Otherwise, I will continue on my healing and moving forward journey.. : )

[Rorschach64]

Good idea keeping the silence up stunned, regardless or not if she did this on purpose the silence should be maintained.

[ChelseaLS]

My ex is always breaking the silence and although I get excited and I keep the silence for my part, it can be frustrating. I want to yell at him to **** or get off the pot. But alas .. patience.. whatever that is lol.

[stunned8165]

Silence is golden right now.. : )

[Rorschach64]

Sure is and it is the only thing we can do to move on while healing. I don't want to tarnish what was by reducing what transpired in to meaningless catching up chat and only go on wanting.

[smokey bear]

Stunned, is she still in a relationship with her boss?

 

When she left did her lifestyle change at all, did she settle down or did she up her socialising?

[stunned8165]

She upped her socializing at work. Before she left she moved to working the bar during the day and 1 night a week. Changes in her behaviour which her behavior changed a while ago. Began smoking a lot of pot too. Everything was great for over two years. Once she wealized we were in a committed relationship, everything was normal, her kids were happy, she seemed to have checked out. Maybe reading my original thread will shed more light for you?

Actually, maybe read both these threads?

 

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t302201/

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t302528/

[smokey bear]

Your case doesn't look good.

 

ive copied and pasted from 2 posts.

 

"How long does it last?

 

Some say years

 

Thngs that could influence it?

 

I think the closer to the age 25 the shorter it lasts.

 

Someone at 21 may experience GIGs until their 25, i do think the age 25 has a lot to do with it.

 

For me i was 24 and my GIGs ceased 2 months before my 25 birthday, im female.

 

For homebrew he was 24.

 

I think it can happen even when your 25 for some.

 

I think younger you are the longer it lasts.

 

Emotional maturity plays a part too.

 

Also how successful your life was before. I think someone unemployed it would last longer than someone who was very well established in their career and could affect it by their GIGS actions.

 

Responsiblilites as well, Someone with children, car repayments, mortgage etc will come out it quicker than someone living with the parents, no job, no assets.

 

Just my opinions. "

 

Your woman is 38, i dont think its a case of gigs

 

next paste....

 

"It really is no reflection on you, and the ones that do come back are the ones that have learned and changed.

 

The ones that havent are the ones who jump onto the next relationship.

 

But some people never reach that emotional maturity, its just the way they think, they can't look outside of the box.

 

I think one way to gauge if they are going to change or not is based on the GIGs relationship

 

If they change and do the things they they should have done to save your relationship in the GIGS relationship, they will change, they have learned or are learning and will probably come back. Just a theory.

 

The ones who go into the GIGS relationship and carry on the bad behaviour that split the previous relationship will just jump ship again.

 

if you can see the change its a good sign. "

 

Your woman is 38, you got to the comfortable stage and she jumped ship. she has two kids to different dads, she jumped ship in two other major relationships.

 

Some people do this all their life, they don't learn the valuable lesson.

 

I think your ex is one of these people and will jump ship all her life until she learns this lesson, but she's 38!!!!!!!!!!! not much hope left.

 

Sorry xxx

 

also reading your posts, there were a lot of red flags you ignored, a lot, about her past.

 

I dont think she is changeable.

[stunned8165]

The girls father took off when he found out she was pregnant. The boys dad was just an idiot with a drug problem. I was with her the longest out of them all except for her husband which she bailed on him too. No kids with them. But fater she left her husband, she went off the deep end. We were fine, no fighting, great family life for over two years. I just don't think she knew how to respond to the normalcy and no drama. She fed off the drama at work. Work was her life, home was work and a burden because of the kids. She wasn't ready to be a mother. I was the better parent... What ever the case may be, she took ten steps backwards in life with what she did. . And so whats up with her appearing now. Twice in a week and a half after no sign of her for 5 months?.. 5 weeks after I shut down LC.. ?

[stunned8165]

Ok. this is the third time in the same place at the same time. Knowing the risk of running into me and even pulling along side of her at the red light, she knows the kids would see me and get upset. Why would she risk that. Read the first posting here on page one. I just don't get it. She knows I go that way every day. Why isn't she traveling the route closest to her own house?