LoveandSuch Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 What has happened to me? I have been through a few years of emotional abuse...I am free of it, but I have completely lost the ability to feel emotions except pain! I am happy I finally ventured out and took a chance. This does not change the fact that for the last year or so, I have not gotten the butterflies from any male attention. The butterflies from a call, text, anything. I feel emotionally void. It feels like just going through the motions. There is a feeling at first, the first minutes...moments of their pursuit, but then it dies a sudden death. Has this happened to anyone else and did they gain the sense of feeling positive emotions again? The only positive thing about it, is I can sit back while facing a man, and literally just be quite frank, and call him out on all BS. The weird thing is they seem to like that...lol.
iris219 Posted October 25, 2011 Posted October 25, 2011 I've lost this ability too! I wondered if I was the only one. My relationship with my ex broke something. I gave more than I knew I was capable of giving in that relationship, and I think it damaged some vital part, the part responsible for feeling romantic love. I guess it's a defense mechanism on auto pilot. I wish I knew how turn it off so I could turn on some emotion. I'm curious to hear what others have to say. I don't think it's a simple matter of feeling it when the right one comes along; it's deeper than that.
nothappyjan Posted October 26, 2011 Posted October 26, 2011 I totally feel the same. After my bf dumped me I literally died inside. I since had a 4month relationship but it ended as I felt nothing at all for him the whole time and he could sense it. I try go on dates but I feel nothing or cancel them as I cant find any enthusiasm. I used to think I felt too much before my relationship I would always get so emotionally invested after just one date and now I wish I could just have a little bit of that feeling back
Author LoveandSuch Posted October 26, 2011 Author Posted October 26, 2011 It is a terrible feeling almost like isolation. I keep thinking maybe things will change, turn around. There just seems to be so many lost souls in the world today. The tragic and scary part for me, is that my only pillow, the only strength I get from the little moments away from doom like feelings, the only thing that keeps me living, strangely enough, is the thought that if nothing changes then I could just pull my car in the garage, start the engine, lay back, listen to a great compilation CD, and ley go and be free. It saddens me that I never would have envisioned I would someday be thinking like this.
Duckduckgoose Posted October 26, 2011 Posted October 26, 2011 I understand the feeling. When my exH left, the day before I signed the D papers... something "broke" in me. When men talk to me, I feel like a robot. I can answer them, I can banter, but oftentimes it's just a show. And I'm COLD... I don't even try to be... just am. Only a couple have been able to get past that wall with me... and still it comes and goes even with them. I thought about what causes it a lot, so I can try to "fix" it within myself. To me... it seems we gave them a lot of ourselves; of love, of effort, of caring, of time and affections. When it ended, we saw that everything we put into them was worthless. It takes a long time to get all of "ourselves" back after that sort of thing. In the meantime... that specific part will be non-functional. Its the last piece of the puzzle so to speak. If this makes any kind of sense to you that's awesome, if not well its from my own personal introspection so yeah.
Recommended Posts