The worst. Dumping. Ever.

[purplepanda]

So I had such an "amazing" weekend, and broke my 3 months of celebacy... he told me we were back together and everything. Then we got in a stupid fight, and when I tried to apologize, he didn't answer. Yesterday I went to his school (seniors) for a school conference thing, and I saw him in the hall. He said that when he told his mom that we were talking again, she blocked my number from his phone. So that's why he hasn't been able to answer me.

 

Well he kept walking away from me and I thought it was so weird...then I realized that this girl was there. They're "friends" but I could tell that she liked him when she touched his arm, and last friday she was there and every time he talked to me, she'd run to her car to try to leave.

 

She was there. I wasn't the reason he was skipping class. She was.

 

I realized this: When I surprised him on Friday night at his homecoming, he had told me not to come NOT because of his parents...but because of her. He kept asking me to leave every time she would run to her car.

 

I had gotten all dressed up for him. In a black dress and fishnets. He kept saying, "Why do you do this to me...?" The last time he ran after her, I just left. The next morning I was all depressed. Then he called me. We spent the night together and had sex....

 

I had my friend forward texts to him since he couldn't get mine. He ignored them. I went to his Facebook. "Had so much fun with Jessica!" This one guy commented and said "(my name) is gonna go cut herself now". People "Liked" it.

 

I deleted Facebook.

 

So... how do I get over two years of loving some unconditionally? No matter what he did? :'((

[TheDovic]

Wow, this guy is a d**k!!! I'm really sorry to hear someone has treated you so badly.

 

I think the first step is to accept that you are still going to love him despite what he did to you. A lot of people get angry at themselves for being in love with someone even after that person has treated them like a dog. Some even see this as a sign they should still be with their ex, but in reality you're only human and cannot easily turn these feelings off. So for the upcoming months it's important to realise you're no different than anyone else in your position, therefore it's ok to be upset over him even though he's a complete tool!

 

The second thing is to stop contacting him. This is really tough and I'd be a hypocrite if I told you I was strong enough to do it. However from my experience I can tell you the more contact you have the slower your healing will be.

 

Thirdly, read the right books. Personally I like Susan Elliot's "Getting past your breakup" and Howard Halpern's "How to break your addiction to a person." I've read pretty much every breakup book and for me these are the best. They're also both extremely highly rated on Amazon!

 

Fourth is a personal favourite of mine: self hypnosis cd's. The one which has helped me is Paul McKenna's "I can mend your broken heart." (CD comes free with the book). I've found this cd to be really helpful at reducing the desperate feelings I've had.

 

Finally, come on to Loveshack to vent and/or ask for advice. No matter what time of the day there always seems to be someone around. I honestly don't know what I'd have done without the great people I've met here.

[purplepanda]

Wow, this guy is a d**k!!! I'm really sorry to hear someone has treated you so badly.

 

I think the first step is to accept that you are still going to love him despite what he did to you. A lot of people get angry at themselves for being in love with someone even after that person has treated them like a dog. Some even see this as a sign they should still be with their ex, but in reality you're only human and cannot easily turn these feelings off. So for the upcoming months it's important to realise you're no different than anyone else in your position, therefore it's ok to be upset over him even though he's a complete tool!

 

The second thing is to stop contacting him. This is really tough and I'd be a hypocrite if I told you I was strong enough to do it. However from my experience I can tell you the more contact you have the slower your healing will be.

 

Thirdly, read the right books. Personally I like Susan Elliot's "Getting past your breakup" and Howard Halpern's "How to break your addiction to a person." I've read pretty much every breakup book and for me these are the best. They're also both extremely highly rated on Amazon!

 

Fourth is a personal favourite of mine: self hypnosis cd's. The one which has helped me is Paul McKenna's "I can mend your broken heart." (CD comes free with the book). I've found this cd to be really helpful at reducing the desperate feelings I've had.

 

Finally, come on to Loveshack to vent and/or ask for advice. No matter what time of the day there always seems to be someone around. I honestly don't know what I'd have done without the great people I've met here.

 

You are completely right...about everything. I feel sad and angry that I still love him so much, and pathetic that he's changed since we started going out 2 years ago. He USED to care, he USED to be sweet and do spontaneous things.. But now I'm just his "toy" as his best friend so kindly worded for me. (It's pretty bad when your best friend tells people they don't want to be with him because he's a jerk.)

 

As for the no contact and it'll be easier, this I know. Several times several months have gone by with no contact whatsoever, then he'll break it and I give in.

Now I have no Facebook (at least for a long time) and my number is blocked from his phone, so contact would be very hard for him, unless he ACTUALLY tried. :/

 

Thank you for the book references, I think I will check those out.

[shayla]

Try your best to avoid this guy like the plague, ugh he is toxic! That game playing and having sex with you proves that he is a jerk with no heart at all.

 

In time, you will wonder what you ever saw in him.

[purplepanda]

Try your best to avoid this guy like the plague, ugh he is toxic! That game playing and having sex with you proves that he is a jerk with no heart at all.

 

In time, you will wonder what you ever saw in him.

 

2 years ago he wrote me letters, talked to me constantly, never ignored me, and even when he was in trouble, borrowed his friend's phones to talk to me.

 

I know things have changed. I just keep hoping they'll go back to the way they were, but they won't. Now I know that's why I keep hanging on. D: