So am I just not attractive?

[LynnieBear]

I'm not posting a pic, but I'm starting to think that I am just ugly.

 

yet the guy I like goes for ugly girls (girls that I don't find attractive)

 

I know of one girl he finds cute who actually is cute, but the girls he's actually dated, are below average, and he claims he's all about "looks".

 

Personally, for me, I AM all about looks and not afraid to admit it. I have one specific, set type of thing I am attracted to in both women and men and the majority of the planet doesn't look like this.

 

I won't describe it, but it's actually not what you're thinking. The typical "hot" guy, model type (and same for women) is not attractive to me.

 

I'm beginning to think I'm a bit of a pedophile, (I am gonna describe it) because the type of girls (and guys) I find attractive are all about 18 and have the bodies of teenagers. Some are on TV shows playing 16 year olds. That's what I generally tend to be attracted to. Partially because I have the mind set that there is no such thing as "too skinny". And also because I have a baby face. I, myself, look like a 16 year old.

 

The only thing I can think of is... I have gained weight.. but I'm losing it. All of it. It was all medically related that I gained and I guess I didn't/don't look my best.

 

could it be my weight? I'm 5'6" and about 140ish lbs. Last year I was 135, but had an upset (again medically) and gained a few lbs back, and was closer to 145-149. (I didn't hit 150, thank God)

 

Normally, I'm about 120lbs or under. I'm working on getting back to that... so maybe it's my weight?

 

I honestly think this is my only problem... I have a cute face. But it's not so cute when I have extra weight on me... : /

 

The guy I like has told me he likes skinny girls, too. He's dated chubby girls, though... : / They are exes... but he still dated them.

[LynnieBear]

I also don't carry myself well when I have extra weight on me, because I'm naturally small built. So fat on me looks really bad...

 

and I'm uncomfortable in my own skin and I think it shows.

[Lucky_One]

So much for believing you are the most attractive thing on the planet.

 

If your "friend" has dated pretty AND ugly girls, thin AND chunky girls, then it is safe to say that he dates women that he likes and is attracted to, and thankfully doesn't restrict himself to one "type".

 

It is also safe to say that he isn't attracted to you. If he was, he would date you.

 

Just for your future dieting plans: men tend to prefer average weight women, and most would prefer a slightly heavier woman to an underweight woman. 120 pounds on 5'6" is likely underweight. "Padding" by fat (not obesity!) is an indicator of financial stability, fertility, and general good health; being underweight makes a man's subconscious believe that you aren't as fertile and aren't as capable of carrying a baby to term.

[TrueColors]

I'm not posting a pic

 

That's because half of LS already knows what you look like.

 

So much for believing you are the most attractive thing on the planet.

 

If your "friend" has dated pretty AND ugly girls, thin AND chunky girls, then it is safe to say that he dates women that he likes and is attracted to, and thankfully doesn't restrict himself to one "type".

 

It is also safe to say that he isn't attracted to you. If he was, he would date you.

 

 

This. ^^^ Exactly.

 

Lynnie, if you're so secure in your looks (as you posted in your other thread), why are you obsessing about your weight and/looks)?

 

You say you want someone "liberal". Well there you go - your friend is "liberal" enough to go out with those of different shapes and sizes, thereby proving that he can actually look past physicality. Unlike you.

 

And thus proving that his non-attraction to you has nothing to do with how you look - or don't look.

 

Why does it confuse you so much that attraction is not solely based on how thin a woman is?

Edited October 16, 2011 by TrueColors

[LynnieBear]

That's because half of LS already knows what you look like.

 

 

 

 

 

 

This. ^^^ Exactly.

 

Lynnie, if you're so secure in your looks (as you posted in your other thread), why are you obsessing about your weight and/looks)?

 

You say you want someone "liberal". Well there you go - your friend is "liberal" enough to go out with those of different shapes and sizes, thereby proving that he can actually look past physicality. Unlike you.

 

And thus proving that his non-attraction to you has nothing to do with how you look - or don't look.

 

Why does it confuse you so much that attraction is not solely based on how thin a woman is?

 

How does half of LS know what I look like?

 

And why does it confuse me so much that attraction isn't solely based on "looks"?

 

Because all my friend talks about is physical attraction first, everything else second.

 

He's the one who's making me think he's exactly like me along those lines.

 

And to whoever said 120 is underweight, I know. I prefer that look. I've been 113 before and liked that better, as well. I doubt I'll get down to 113, but that would be underweight and I wouldn't mind it.

 

It's not so bad at 135, but at 145 I feel like a whale.

 

Also... to TrueColors who keeps asking the same questions over again, that are unnecessary to ask, because I've pretty much already answered them in my postings....

 

I do feel attractive. When I'm my normal weight. 120 isn't underweight for 5'6", but it does put you at the lowest BMI and is about as low as you can go. I'd rather be on the low end of a healthy weight, than in between or toward the higher end. I just feel better.

 

I have a pudge when I'm any bigger and I like to have a flat stomach.

[TrueColors]

How does half of LS know what I look like?

 

You're smart. Figure it out yourself.

 

And why does it confuse me so much that attraction isn't solely based on "looks"?

 

Because all my friend talks about is physical attraction first, everything else second.

 

He's the one who's making me think he's exactly like me along those lines.

 

Who gave YOU the idea to think like this in the first place?

 

And to whoever said 120 is underweight, I know. I prefer that look. I've been 113 before and liked that better, as well. I doubt I'll get down to 113, but that would be underweight and I wouldn't mind it.

 

It's not so bad at 135, but at 145 I feel like a whale.

 

Also... to TrueColors who keeps asking the same questions over again, that are unnecessary to ask, because I've pretty much already answered them in my postings....

What did I ask that you've already answered?

 

I do feel attractive. When I'm my normal weight.

So you agree with me then: that you are not CURRENTLY secure with your looks.

 

120 isn't underweight for 5'6", but it does put you at the lowest BMI and is about as low as you can go. I'd rather be on the low end of a healthy weight, than in between or toward the higher end. I just feel better.

 

I have a pudge when I'm any bigger and I like to have a flat stomach.

 

If you are usually secure in your weight and it is the meds that are pushing your weight up, why is this even relevent to how this guy feels about you?

 

You're complaining that it's because you're not your "normal" weight that is playing a major factor in why this guy is not attracted to you.

 

When it's plain to see that your looks aren't what's not attracting him to you.

[TrueColors]

How does half of LS know what I look like?

 

You're smart. Figure it out yourself.

 

And why does it confuse me so much that attraction isn't solely based on "looks"?

 

Because all my friend talks about is physical attraction first, everything else second.

 

He's the one who's making me think he's exactly like me along those lines.

 

Who gave YOU the idea to think like this in the first place?

 

And to whoever said 120 is underweight, I know. I prefer that look. I've been 113 before and liked that better, as well. I doubt I'll get down to 113, but that would be underweight and I wouldn't mind it.

 

It's not so bad at 135, but at 145 I feel like a whale.

 

Also... to TrueColors who keeps asking the same questions over again, that are unnecessary to ask, because I've pretty much already answered them in my postings....

What did I ask that you've already answered?

 

I do feel attractive. When I'm my normal weight.

So you agree with me then: that you are not CURRENTLY secure with your looks.

 

120 isn't underweight for 5'6", but it does put you at the lowest BMI and is about as low as you can go. I'd rather be on the low end of a healthy weight, than in between or toward the higher end. I just feel better.

 

I have a pudge when I'm any bigger and I like to have a flat stomach.

 

If you are usually secure in your weight and it is the meds that are pushing your weight up, why is this even relevent to how this guy feels about you?

 

You're complaining that it's because you're not your "normal" weight that is playing a major factor in why this guy is not attracted to you.

 

When it's plain to see that your looks aren't what's not attracting him to you. In other words, you're focussing on the wrong aspect of yourself.

[AHardDaysNight]

How old are you, OP?

 

If you're past the age of 30, and are going after teenagers...well, that's just creepy. Not saying that you can't, but men that age aren't going to be mature enough to be what you want.

 

Also, some guys are attracted to overweight women. They find that hot. Some are attracted to tall, short, skinny, fat, etc.

 

It's a wide spectrum.

[google_girl]

I think your real problem is your lower self esteem.

[LynnieBear]

I think your real problem is your lower self esteem.

 

Actually, I have an over inflated sense of ego, but it's gotten trampled on by some medical problems/conditions and medication making me fat.

[TrueColors]

Actually, I have an over inflated sense of ego

 

An over inflated ego usually hides low self esteem.

[LynnieBear]

An over inflated ego usually hides low self esteem.

 

are you like, trying to find some insecurities about me? because if you are, it's not going to work. i'm very happy with who I am and very secure with myself and very happy with my life and the people in it.

 

this is what I mean about weird people on the internet...

 

you take apart an innocent post and start trying to psycho-analyze some complete stranger on a message board, instead of sticking to the subject matter

 

weirdo

[michelleishere]

First of all, what TrueColors said is absolutely right.

 

Secondly, this is why everyone on LS is fed up with you, Lynniebear/Dreamergirl/etc, etc. You ask for advice, and when you don't get what you want to hear, you get nasty. It's time to take a real good look at yourself & stop making excuses. You love to talk, but you don't listen. It's not your looks. It's not your weight. It's your personality.

 

It might be your personality. Have you asked him that?

[TrueColors]

First of all, what TrueColors said is absolutely right.

 

Thank you Badenov.

 

are you like, trying to find some insecurities about me? because if you are, it's not going to work.

 

I don't need to cos you're, like, doing all that by yourself.

 

i'm very happy with who I am and very secure with myself and very happy with my life and the people in it.

 

My point proven.

(I don't expect you'll "get" this either).

 

you take apart an innocent post and start trying to psycho-analyze some complete stranger on a message board, instead of sticking to the subject matter

 

Ditto on my above point. You'll never understand how what other people say fits into your subject matter, because you're blinded by your own narcissism.

 

And there's nothing innocent in what you post.

 

weirdo

 

Thanks!

Edited October 23, 2011 by TrueColors

[WhiteChocolate]

are you like, trying to find some insecurities about me? because if you are, it's not going to work. i'm very happy with who I am and very secure with myself and very happy with my life and the people in it.

If this were true you probably wouldn't be on Loveshack posting about your hopeless crush.

 

I'm just pointing out what I have noticed in your other threads. You ask for opinions and advice but anything that addresses the fundamental problem (you, not your crush's choice of women,) you get defensive and refuse to take into consideration.

 

Please think about it.

[LynnieBear]

If this were true you probably wouldn't be on Loveshack posting about your hopeless crush.

 

I'm just pointing out what I have noticed in your other threads. You ask for opinions and advice but anything that addresses the fundamental problem (you, not your crush's choice of women,) you get defensive and refuse to take into consideration.

 

Please think about it.

 

the entire rest of the population looks pretty much disfigured

[AHardDaysNight]

The problem lies with you, OP. You, and only you.

 

Until you realize this, you will be miserable.

[LynnieBear]

The problem lies with you, OP. You, and only you.

 

Until you realize this, you will be miserable.

 

No, the problem is that I met the most attractive man on the planet to me, the male version of myself, personality and looks wise, and he doesn't realize it.

[Mme. Chaucer]

the entire rest of the population looks pretty much disfigured

 

When you post stuff like this … I think you must be a humorous troll.

 

very happy with my life and the people in it.

 

Perhaps you are delusional, then. You've told us all that the "crush" who wants nothing to do with you is the ONLY person you ever communicate with, and that you have neither a job nor school.

 

No, the problem is that I met the most attractive man on the planet to me, the male version of myself, personality and looks wise, and he doesn't realize it.

 

Um … he is not interested in you, and I think your delusion that he's "the male version of yourself" is a manifestation of whatever disorder you have. I really think you show signs the signs of serious stalker potential.

 

He is NOT a version of you in any way. This is a fantasy of yours.

 

Maybe get a life?

[AHardDaysNight]

No, the problem is that I met the most attractive man on the planet to me, the male version of myself, personality and looks wise, and he doesn't realize it.

 

Maybe he doesn't see you as his equal, but less than himself? Ever think of that?

 

Somehow you have cognitive distortions, and you seem to feel entitled to men who are not interested in you. If it were the other way around, and it was a man who was obsessed with a woman, she would call the police or file a restraining order.

[erika2610]

No, the problem is that I met the most attractive man on the planet to me, the male version of myself, personality and looks wise, and he doesn't realize it.

 

You don't give anybody else a chance to show you their personalities. It all boils down to looks for you. That's all that matters in life.

 

What if this guy never gives you a chance? How long are you willing to wait for him, even though it is painfully obvious that he is just not that into you?

[TrueColors]

the entire rest of the population looks pretty much disfigured

 

With your attitude, this is exactly why you're alone.

 

And why the rest of the population may think you're disfigured if they ever had the unfortunate circumstance of meeting you.

[LynnieBear]

ummmm I don't stalk him, anytime we talk, it is him messaging me...

 

I post on his status updates sometimes, because he posts 5-10 a day

 

He has never given me any indication that he doesn't want me to talk to him... I don't only talk to him, I have tons of other friends.... they just mostly happen to be girls, but that's a completely different story.

 

I am not the girl you all think I am.

[D-Lish]

No, the problem is that I met the most attractive man on the planet to me, the male version of myself, personality and looks wise, and he doesn't realize it.

 

Actually, the problem is not that he doesn't realize "it". The problem is you believing that he needs to realize it when the truth is he's just not interested.

[LynnieBear]

Maybe he doesn't see you as his equal, but less than himself? Ever think of that?

actually I have thought of that, he does seem to try and be better than me and talks like he is

 

Somehow you have cognitive distortions, and you seem to feel entitled to men who are not interested in you.

 

I don't have cognitive distortions thanks, I don't feel you know me well enough to be making those kind of judgment calls.

 

If it were the other way around, and it was a man who was obsessed with a woman, she would call the police or file a restraining order.

 

:eek::eek:how did you come to this conclusion? I don't "stalk" him... any interaction we have is all completely consensual, just not in a romantic way and I have had men that I'm not interested in pursue me. No police or restraining orders were necessary...