justagirrl Posted October 14, 2011 Posted October 14, 2011 Hey Loveshack, I recently started talking to a guy about a month and a half ago... We started talking on facebook...we had a lot of mutual friends and he added me, but I approached him by messaging him asking if i knew him & we started talking from there. He's on the football team at my college and is very well-known by everyone...so he has a busy life. We were texting for about a week, and decided to hang out. Our schedules are a little different, and that week I was very busy with work and school, so the only time we could hang out was after 8. He wanted to take me out to dinner, but was so tired from practice and it was late already, so I came over to his place & we hung out, watched movies and talked. It was a great time! In the morning I got a text from him before he was going to football practice saying "I can't wait to see you again :)" ...I waited a little while to answer because I didn't want to seem desperate, but I felt the same way and said "Me too !" He then texted me right when he got out of practice, and we would talk on and off throughout the entire day for like the next week... The next time we hung out, I came to his place again (because of our schedules that week) ...same thing, watched a movie, kissed, cuddled...and it got so late that I fell asleep there with him! We did not have sex. We got to that point but I kindly said "not yet" in the middle of hooking up and didn't even realize I said it that way, almost giving him the idea that it's going to happen eventually =/ again...we had a very good time together, we have so much in common, and we texted everyday the same way. We've been talking about going out somewhere! He has football everydayyyyy and a game every weekend =/ so it's hard to find free time sometimes, but I really like him so I'm patient. He got a concussion in the last game, and we were supposed to hangout that night when he got back but couldn't =( He was saying how he wants to make it up to me this week and take me out, and that he promises and no excuses! ..... So, we hung out at his place again. This time, we talked a lotttttttt and then ended up having sex. Before we had sex, I said "I don't want you to get a bad impression of me because we're doing this so early." and he said "No way, I already know you're a great girl..." I don't regret it because we both wanted it, and it was amazing. BUT! Things have been different lately... I'm not waking up to "good morning" texts anymore...no texts during practice saying how he's lifting and can't wait to be done...or texting first. I found that recently I've been the one approaching him. He's still enthusiastic, but just not making the approach he was before. Did I go wrong? Usually he would answer within a few minutes, but lately, it's been a while waiting for a response. He's very popular. He's the starting Running Back on the team, and has a big fanbase (I'm not jealous, but he definitely gets a lot of attention, from EVERYONE.....50 likes on your facebook status? -_____-) & I rarely talk about football with him. I think we've talked about it like 2 times...I didn't want to come off as just some girl who wants to date him because of who he is, because that's not it at all. When I first started seeing him, I had no idea what a big deal he was. His personality won me over, & now I'm just confused. A few days ago, I asked him if he wanted to hangout and he said "I'm so tired, I'd be no fun =/" ....so I let it go and didn't come off as mad or upset. Then we were texting the other night, and I had off the next day, so I asked him if he wanted to go out to eat! and he told me his parents were coming to visit...and I believe it because they usually come see him before he has a game, which he does tomorrow. I guess I just need a second opinion. We've gone maybe 2 days not talking...not for bad reasons, but just me seeing if he would text me. so confused =(
Mack05 Posted October 14, 2011 Posted October 14, 2011 Some men are very very clever justagirl. Especially a college footballplayer who is a guarenteed playa. Guys like him, will show you their best side and tell you everything you want to hear. Pratice makes perfect and most women are dreamers and romantics and will fall for a very elaborate act (that can last for a day, a month or sometimes much longer). I don't think this makes you naive. You followed your heart, so I can't criticise you. A woman I date will know I am not a chancer or an actor, because I would never be looking to get serious after just a few dates. My actions will speak a lot louder then my words and the respect I show my girl will be very obvious. I think the hints are how he treats you, even then as I said some guys are very clever. All you can do is trust your gut instinct and hope you learn from previous relationships and life experiences.. The best thing you can do in future is make a guy wait. This will give you more time to form an opinion about him and really get to know him (and vice versa)..Not sure if this answers your question..
Author justagirrl Posted October 14, 2011 Author Posted October 14, 2011 Hm, so are you saying I should stick around & just step back and see what happens?
Pierre Posted October 14, 2011 Posted October 14, 2011 So, we hung out at his place again. This time, we talked a lotttttttt and then ended up having sex. Before we had sex, I said "I don't want you to get a bad impression of me because we're doing this so early." and he said "No way, I already know you're a great girl..." I'm not waking up to "good morning" texts anymore...no texts during practice saying how he's lifting and can't wait to be done...or texting first. I found that recently I've been the one approaching him. He's still enthusiastic, but just not making the approach he was before. Did I go wrong? There is one born everyday. Do you have a brother? If you had a brother he could have given you some info on how some men operate. There is a way to avoid this heartache. Do not have sex right away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How many times do I have to say it. Did your mom give you any pointers about dating?
Author justagirrl Posted October 14, 2011 Author Posted October 14, 2011 Yes, it was my mistake for letting it happen so soon, but I think it's because we put ourselves into that situation where were there, laying down, watching a movie, obviously very into each other... I'm mad that I let it happen, but I don't regret it. I just wanna know where his heads at
Imajerk17 Posted October 14, 2011 Posted October 14, 2011 (edited) He's not interested, justagirl. I somewhat agree with Pierre, although actually I think it was more because your "dates" were just hanging out in each others' dorm rooms. He didn't have to do anything to win you. You were easy. Nothing you can do at this point other than learn the lesson and move on. Next time, start your first dates away from each others' dorm rooms! If you do nothing, he might get back to you but I wouldn't count on it. Edited October 14, 2011 by Imajerk17
Mack05 Posted October 14, 2011 Posted October 14, 2011 I just wanna know where his heads at I hope I am wrong justagirl, because I know you are a really nice girl. But if I were to hazard a guess, he got what he wanted, is joking with his mates in the locker about it and thinking NEXT. Some guys are just not good people, especially when younger. Their ego's are inflated and too big. They need to learn a harsh lesson in life, before coping in to themselves when they are older. Just try learn from this, as I would be very surprised if he comes back..
Imajerk17 Posted October 14, 2011 Posted October 14, 2011 I hope I am wrong justagirl, because I know you are a really nice girl. But if I were to hazard a guess, he got what he wanted, is joking with his mates in the locker about it and thinking NEXT. Some guys are just not good people, especially when younger. Their ego's are inflated and too big. They need to learn a harsh lesson in life, before coping in to themselves when they are older. Just try learn from this, as I would be very surprised if he comes back.. Could be that Mack. But it also could be that he had sex with the OP and realized that he didn't want to be in a relationship with the OP, so he backed off. OP, you do seem like a nice person. Make sure the guy invests in you more before you sleep with him!
TigerCub Posted October 14, 2011 Posted October 14, 2011 He's not interested, justagirl. I somewhat agree with Pierre, although actually I think it was more because your "dates" were just hanging out in each others' dorm rooms. He didn't have to do anything to win you. You were easy. Nothing you can do at this point other than learn the lesson and move on. Next time, start your first dates away from each others' dorm rooms! If you do nothing, he might get back to you but I wouldn't count on it. Sorry justagril, but everything above is true, especially the part in bold. Don't chase him, don't initiate anything with him, and if he wants to talk to you, he'll come to you. DON'T chase!! Its good that you don't regret it, and its done, so no point in regrets but from now on, let a guy work for it a little, get to know you (really know you and care about you) before giving it up so easily (that is if you actually want a relationship with the guy).
kiss_andmakeup Posted October 14, 2011 Posted October 14, 2011 He wanted sex. He got it. He'll keep responding to you to keep you on the backburner in case he wants sex again, but he's not going to pursue you, because he knows it's likely that you want more than just sex. So he wants to keep you available, but at an arm's length. Sorry, I'm sure it hurts to hear this, but I think it's likely the case.
Imajerk17 Posted October 14, 2011 Posted October 14, 2011 Another thing. This might hurt to read, but it will do you good because it is drilling a point in. Putting myself back in college... If I was into a girl and I knew she was into me too (as he DEFINITELY knows you are) my parents were coming to visit, I would be inviting you to get lunch with us. See, I'd want to show you off.
Author justagirrl Posted October 14, 2011 Author Posted October 14, 2011 See, I met his roommates (he lives in an apartment on campus) and they're on the team as well! And he kissed me in front of them...so that made me think he wasn't trying to hide anything or seem like a player... ...idk maybe I'm just being delusional and thinking what I want It sucks, I guess I'll just go NC and stick to it for a few days if he doesn't text me. He's on lockdown tonight with the team at a hotel because they have a game tomorrow. We usually text while he's there bc he really has nothing to do and actually has down time to do nothing. But definitely NC...we really have a great time with each other so maybe if I just leave him alone, he will wonder what's going thru my head. It's not like he doesn't want to see me again...he says he wants to see me a lot, but the next time HAS TO BE on a date going out somewhere or else he will never see me again.
Imajerk17 Posted October 14, 2011 Posted October 14, 2011 (edited) See, I met his roommates (he lives in an apartment on campus) and they're on the team as well! And he kissed me in front of them...so that made me think he wasn't trying to hide anything or seem like a player... ...idk maybe I'm just being delusional and thinking what I want It sucks, I guess I'll just go NC and stick to it for a few days if he doesn't text me. He's on lockdown tonight with the team at a hotel because they have a game tomorrow. We usually text while he's there bc he really has nothing to do and actually has down time to do nothing. But definitely NC...we really have a great time with each other so maybe if I just leave him alone, he will wonder what's going thru my head. It's not like he doesn't want to see me again...he says he wants to see me a lot, but the next time HAS TO BE on a date going out somewhere or else he will never see me again. Kissing you in front of his roommates = "Look at this girl who is so into me. I'm going to be gettin' sum soon!" Sooner you get that, the happier you will be. Did you take anything from what people have been telling you? If he really wanted to be seeing you, you wouldn't have felt the need to have written this. Edited October 14, 2011 by Imajerk17
Pierre Posted October 14, 2011 Posted October 14, 2011 See, I met his roommates (he lives in an apartment on campus) and they're on the team as well! And he kissed me in front of them...so that made me think he wasn't trying to hide anything or seem like a player... Wow! You are so naive that I feel sorry for you. He was simply showing off in front of his friends. The same friends that know you lay down without putting up too much of a fight. I would not be surprised if another team member puts the moves on you.
Author justagirrl Posted October 14, 2011 Author Posted October 14, 2011 You're all right, I'm so upset with myself. I really like this guy...and he knows I enjoy spending time with him, it just sucks. I never sleep with a guy this soon, if I did, I wouldn't have said that to him before we did it. Like, at least that showed that I cared enough to say it but then again...actions speak louder than words =/ I just feel like crying over this whole thing. I'm gonna be at the football game tomorrow and it's just gonna suck seeing him playing. I wanna be in a good mood and be cheerful for him, but I'm just upset now
geegirl Posted October 14, 2011 Posted October 14, 2011 You're all right, I'm so upset with myself. I really like this guy...and he knows I enjoy spending time with him, it just sucks. I never sleep with a guy this soon, if I did, I wouldn't have said that to him before we did it. Like, at least that showed that I cared enough to say it but then again...actions speak louder than words =/ I just feel like crying over this whole thing. I'm gonna be at the football game tomorrow and it's just gonna suck seeing him playing. I wanna be in a good mood and be cheerful for him, but I'm just upset now It's nice that you want to be there for him. Be in a good mood and cheerful for someone that's there for you and wants to be with you. You don't have to go to the game if you feel bad. If you still want to go, then whatever happens during the game and after, is a choice that only you will make and have to live with. You know the reality.
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