Smileydevil11 Posted September 29, 2011 Posted September 29, 2011 Hi..to all i need serious help on this one..Its a long story I am a guy struggling to come to terms with my current situation..as mentioned below.. I was in love with a girl from my college days till this date, name :- K2 its been now 15 years i was in constant contact with her being there with her for all her emotional, financial, moral support , i am married now for about 7 years have a kid a sweet daughter of 5 years..Now this woman k2 & i had a affair for about 1.5 years i.e from mid 2008 to march 2010..Then she went totally no contact, i was in contact with her on and off finally i decided its time i start to let go of her and stopped contact with her finally for 3 months in march 2011 she contacted me again asked to meet up i did agree there she expected me to take her to the hospital as she had thyroid of the eyes..she said to me 1. I did everything for everyone and i did not get anything.. 2. I am alone and have no one.. 3. I am turning old now and want peace.. 4. Life is gone in all the fights now i want peace.. I said her whats that you want from me she said NOTHING Then we hung around for coffee, lunch, drive, Movies.. She started getting food for me nearly everyday..then i find out shes having a affair with another married friend of hers..through her mails, i was amazed and asked her..for which she says its my personal life..i said do you want to have a affair with me..she says you are a *******..her being nice did not go down well with me..
wilsonx Posted September 29, 2011 Posted September 29, 2011 So let me get this straight, you're married, have a kid had a year and a half affair with an old college girlfriend. And now you don't know what to do and are mad because she had another affair with another married person? Have you looked into yourself and your own problems? You are MARRIED, you have a kid, you HAD a 1.5 YEAR AFFAIR? And you are judging her for having an affair with another married man? You are responsible for yourself and your own actions. You are not only an idiot but a poor excuse for a man. Let me tell you something, the only person abusing you is YOU. Not your ex, its your fault and yours alone. You are a man and have the ability to walk away from any situation at any time. The fact is you show extreme codependency and caretaking tendencies which you need to work on
Lucio Posted September 29, 2011 Posted September 29, 2011 the only people i see being abused here are your wife and your beautiful daughter. have you for one minute stopped to think about them while you posted this? this is a chance for you to stop whatever you have been doing and look at them again.
Buttercup84 Posted September 29, 2011 Posted September 29, 2011 Dude , what the hell ? Get over it and fix your marriage . Stop playing the victim and grow some balls .
Mack05 Posted September 29, 2011 Posted September 29, 2011 New Poster and you post this. Haha you actually can't be serious, so I am going to trust my gut instinct and believe you are just clowning around. You're funny man
smudge21 Posted September 29, 2011 Posted September 29, 2011 I was wondering why this was in the "Breaks and Breaking Up" section, until I realised we don't have a "WTF" section!
Author Smileydevil11 Posted September 29, 2011 Author Posted September 29, 2011 Hey people thanks for all the replies..okie i have told her many times the same thing..but then later she keeps coming back with some problems where she is stuck or someone who can listen to her problems..if i dont help i am told i am a bad person..
Mack05 Posted September 29, 2011 Posted September 29, 2011 (edited) Hey people thanks for all the replies..okie i have told her many times the same thing..but then later she keeps coming back with some problems where she is stuck or someone who can listen to her problems..if i dont help i am told i am a bad person.. If you are genuine and I sincerely doubt that you are, then you are a moron (actually moron doesn't do you justice) and you won't receive any sympathy on this site. You cheat on your wife and kid over and over again and you want advice on how to treat your mistress!?!?!?. Are you f c u k i n g kidding me with this? Why don't you wake up and smell what you shoveling? boy. Never speak to this woman again. Confess to your wife what a low life you are and a pathetic excuse of a husband. Give your wife and kid the opportunity to find real husband/father figures in their lives (I pray she has found out already and left you). You are pathetic man and don't belong on these forums who are full of good people with real genuine broken hearts... Edited September 29, 2011 by Mack05
Buttercup84 Posted September 29, 2011 Posted September 29, 2011 Mack , you are hot when you lay down the law . @ douchebag , really ? If you are for real I hope to god I never cone across a " man " like you.
Lucio Posted September 29, 2011 Posted September 29, 2011 U can help her w her probs but nobody told u to sleep w her! Stop glorifying your infidelity. I'm speechless if u still don't see the point.
betterdeal Posted September 29, 2011 Posted September 29, 2011 Hey people thanks for all the replies..okie i have told her many times the same thing..but then later she keeps coming back with some problems where she is stuck or someone who can listen to her problems..if i dont help i am told i am a bad person.. You're not obliged to help her. If she thinks you're a bad person because of that, that's her opinion, not a fact. Your obligation is to your daughter, not this woman. I suggest you tell her you can no longer help her, block her phone number, email &c. and cease all contact hereafter.
Author Smileydevil11 Posted September 29, 2011 Author Posted September 29, 2011 Hey betterdeal its this answer i was looking for i totally know my daughter is my priority and i love her like hell..guys please i feel guilty and avoid this woman too..it pains when my nature is abused..
betterdeal Posted September 29, 2011 Posted September 29, 2011 It is emotionally abusive for her to call you names for not doing what she wants. You would do very well to disconnect from her entirely and spend some time figuring out why you are vulnerable to accusations like these, and why you strayed out of your marriage. Consider seeing a counsellor / therapist so that you have someone to discuss your thoughts and feelings with.
TheDovic Posted September 29, 2011 Posted September 29, 2011 Smiley "Devil?" number "11?" "cheats on this wife?" Is this Ryan Giggs???
Mack05 Posted September 29, 2011 Posted September 29, 2011 Smiley "Devil?" number "11?" "cheats on this wife?" Is this Ryan Giggs??? :laugh::laugh: It does sound like Giggsy "I did everything for everyone and i did not get anything"
smudge21 Posted September 29, 2011 Posted September 29, 2011 Smiley "Devil?" number "11?" "cheats on this wife?" Is this Ryan Giggs??? A Premiership Footballer using a computer...???
TheDovic Posted September 29, 2011 Posted September 29, 2011 A Premiership Footballer using a computer...??? Very good!
Author Smileydevil11 Posted September 29, 2011 Author Posted September 29, 2011 Hey..betterdeal i really thank you for you views..there is a problem why i am accused few years of my married life i had a horrible time in my marriage..till about 5 years now..right from the start mother wants her way wife wants her way..everyone around me wants me to prove to them i love them..Only person was my child lately who said my father loves me a lot without me proving it to her at all..which was music
Mme. Chaucer Posted September 29, 2011 Posted September 29, 2011 Haha. You are not being "abused." Do you know what abuse is? What's "thyroid of the eyes"?
danceallday Posted September 29, 2011 Posted September 29, 2011 She sounds pretty toxic if she is only choosing to have affairs with married men. You don't owe her anything. Go nc with her and talk to your wife about going to couples therapy together. There is obviously something problematic in your married relationship if you are having to go elsewhere for sex. You owe that much to your daughter and wife.
geegirl Posted September 29, 2011 Posted September 29, 2011 Hey..betterdeal i really thank you for you views..there is a problem why i am accused few years of my married life i had a horrible time in my marriage..till about 5 years now..right from the start mother wants her way wife wants her way..everyone around me wants me to prove to them i love them..Only person was my child lately who said my father loves me a lot without me proving it to her at all..which was music So, essentially you went from frying pan, and into the fire. Your marriage was not working so instead of fixing that, you chose to seek elsewhere and made a bad choice doing so. Your wife treats you bad. Your lover treats you bad. The problem is you Smiley. Your wife and lover will keep on doing what they're doing, it is you that has to make the change.
betterdeal Posted September 29, 2011 Posted September 29, 2011 Hey..betterdeal i really thank you for you views..there is a problem why i am accused few years of my married life i had a horrible time in my marriage..till about 5 years now..right from the start mother wants her way wife wants her way..everyone around me wants me to prove to them i love them..Only person was my child lately who said my father loves me a lot without me proving it to her at all..which was music Get in touch with a marriage counselling service such as Relate.
wilsonx Posted September 29, 2011 Posted September 29, 2011 So, essentially you went from frying pan, and into the fire. Your marriage was not working so instead of fixing that, you chose to seek elsewhere and made a bad choice doing so. Your wife treats you bad. Your lover treats you bad. The problem is you Smiley. Your wife and lover will keep on doing what they're doing, it is you that has to make the change. Ding ding we have a winner. Think about it. You didn't like the way your wife treated you so what did you do. You cheated on her. Did that solve the original problem, nope. Your gf left you, you are still back at the wife problem . This is why being a caretaker in a relationship is bad. You are enabling others to treat you badly and wonder why you are not happy. In the end its your responsibility for your own happiness, now do something about it
betterdeal Posted September 29, 2011 Posted September 29, 2011 This is why being a caretaker in a relationship is bad. You are enabling others to treat you badly and wonder why you are not happy. In the end its your responsibility for your own happiness, now do something about it Which he is, by asking for help, here, on this forum.
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