ffw Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 Hello again everyone, I want to repost my last letter since I didnt got any response. Ill try to make as short as possible. Here's my story so far...... Me & my girlfriend were dating for almost 4 & half years. To be clear, 2 years together and almost 2 & half years separately. I had to move to my own country & then to another country for further studies. But we constantly kept in touch with each other because we were truly in love & waited to be reunited again. We visited each other parents too & both of our parents liked us a couple. Coming back to present, because of studies I could not gave her much attention & we started to feel distance. She wanted to marry me & have a family with me. In fact, she asked me one time but I replied in silence since I was not sure about the future. My plan was to visit her end of this year and propose her to get married with me because we both love each so much. But I didn’t inform her about my marriage proposal since I wanted to be a surprise. Anyways, two weeks back she broke up with me saying she doesn’t see any future with me. She wrote a very angry letter saying our relationship is ruined because of me & she doesn’t love me anymore. This devastated me to the core. Also, she said she found another guy & in love with him & can see future with him. She also said she is going to marry him soon. I know she was very angry at that time so she wrote me all this things. Because no one is going to get married within 2 weeks of knowing each other (hopefully). After two days I wrote her a mail expressing my feelings & admitting that it was my fault. Also, if she gives me one chance I am ready to marry her & to have a family toghether. I also promised that I wont contact her again. Because eventhough I am in love with her, I dont want to push or ruin any chances I have. Basically, I went for straight NC. I know that she read my letter two times & didnt check it for more than 1 week now. Its very possible that this her rebound relationship. But I am still afraid that I may lose her. I still really love her & I know somewhere deep down in her heart she loves me too. She was the one putting lot of effort in our relationship. I really like to give our relationship one more shot because i know this time we can make it right. So, my questions are: 1) Is she in a rebound relationship? Can she forget about me easily? 2) What are the chances of us getting back toghether? Thanking you. I really appreciate your answers.
TheDovic Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 1. YES, she is in a rebound relationship and I've read a few places these fail 90% of the time, so fingers crossed! 2. Hard to tell if you'll get back together because I don't know what it is you've done... if it is simply not being ready for marriage then there's a good chance because you know what the problem is... and to be fair this isn't as bad as others i.e. Grass is Greener Syndrome, cheating etc... You've told her now you'd be willing to make this change so the ball is in her court now dude. Don't keep apologising though, be a man!!!
Author ffw Posted September 22, 2011 Author Posted September 22, 2011 Thank you for the reply Dovic. You gave me optimistic feeling. I could not commit to her properly because of the long distance, long time since we saw each other and studies.....She also mentioned this in her last letter. I was not ready for the marriage at that time. But I am now ready for her. But the problem is she is not here now & I am just afraid that I might lose her. I placed the ball in her court & expressed my feeling in my last letter. I didnt contacted her since 13 days now. Just hoping everything would end up fine.
silly_panda Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 I guess she broke up with you and went straight to this guy was because she did not get the attention that she needed from you... And this guy came around and gave her just that... This is very similar to my case... It's a rebound relationship alrite... But will it last..? You will have to wait til they get over the 'honeymoon phase' to find out... Do you have a chance..? No one knows... The answer is with her... For now just leave her with her new found relationship... You do what you got to do with your life (studies, getting better, etc)...
Corazura Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 This is basically the same thing that happened to me, my ex gf left me for someone else after a 4 year relationship. No arguments, no trying to work things out, just gone. To be completely honest, I'm not so sure that being left for someone else is a rebound relationship. It's better to assume it's over for good and to move on. Trying to label it will get you nowhere and prevent you from healing properly. A rebound to me is more of a desperation move to have SOMEONE (since its better than nothing at all) In your case and mine the person already had someone and decided they didn't want it and replaced it with someone else. It's cold, cruel, and totally unfair but I don't know if I'd consider their new relationship a "rebound" with a 90% failure rate. It sucks but just assume it's over forever and get your life together.
Author ffw Posted September 22, 2011 Author Posted September 22, 2011 (edited) @ Sillly Panda: I think u hit the nail on the head. Thats what exactly happened. @ Corazura: When this happened to you? I am still not sure about the definition of rebound relationship. I think it more depends upon how well the current relationship of our ex's goes. If they current relationship didnt work out, they may come back. Edited September 22, 2011 by ffw
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