luvbug89 Posted July 12, 2011 Posted July 12, 2011 So, my ex and I broke it off Sunday July 3rd. I've remained strictly NC from him since our last talk on Sunday morning. This is the 2nd breakup we've had this summer, and after getting back with him and failing the first time, I have decided to go clean NC without trying to work things out or for us to get back. I am wanting to move on because I feel that is what's best for both of us. He needs to focus on his career and future goals, as I need to concentrate on school and graduating. At 9pm he texts me this: "I'm alone and it sucks. I miss u and it sucks. Ive let you down mucho. I should have moved in with you. I never wanted u out of my life. I felt selfish however that u can b with someone else who is around more. I also thought that if i moved in with u I would end up gettin u pregnant and getting married. There is nothing wrong with that but I just really need to get focused on my goals and being with u would have set me off course. I just wanted to get this off my chest. I hope u r doing well. Ur always on my mind. I love u boo boo and always will." Of course I had butterflies in my stomach just reading this, and my mind was all over the place over-analyzing this simple txt. What I'd like to know from your perspective.. Is this txt considered to be crumbs from him?Is he wanting reconciliation?Is this just his closure? Although I want to move on, I am still tainted with the memories of our great relationship. We were friends first for 3 years before we started dating. We've only been together for 10 months but I always felt it would've been much longer .. like, years. Idk, I'm all sorts of confused and a bit sad over the breakup still. But, I'm remaining loyal to the NC for quite a while. Anything would help guys
MandyC18 Posted July 12, 2011 Posted July 12, 2011 you know i would die completely if i got a text like this from my ex... the longest we have gone nc is 4days since may 28. it will be 5days tomorrow (but he's a cross country camp but still). i see it as two people can always support each other with goals and their career. Relationships can get so rocky mine did...but a perfect relationship isnt real. Its seems as if you guys both know what you want..if you feel being apart is best then so be it. If you feel you can make it work while dealing with school and such..a little multitasking wont kill anyone (:
Author luvbug89 Posted July 12, 2011 Author Posted July 12, 2011 Aww, thanks Mandy for that insight! I'm glad you are a little more positive than what my mind has been feeding to me. Yes, I agree, this is exactly why I love him -- because of his words and how he explains himself to me. Might be a little late, but atleast I know how he feels. I do think that we need our separate space, only because we have a lot going for us. I am in my last year of college, and as he is a little older his job has him traveling a lot and also cannot afford to live in my city anymore (hence why we discussed living together at some point) and I agree the support from us two can be helpful and as much love we have for each other I believe we can make it work. But I believe we should achieve our goals before we work on us again. Moving on for me, is not at all looking for another relationship or having fun being single, I just need some me time and I believe he sees it as that way too. The trick is, to try with all my will to NOT text back and remain NC and also to not re-read this text over and over again because it is the only thing I have in my inbox from the one person I wanted to hear from :/ sheesh
MandyC18 Posted July 12, 2011 Posted July 12, 2011 reuniting is always so worth it...from reading your post i truly see you two coming back together once things have settled and are flowing. Oh i know..many messages on my phone "locked" and such. I know its hard i should try listening to my own advice. Im going "nc" as well although my version has different rules..im waiting for him to come to me first. Good luck with everything, its not like you two are going away forever.. (:
wilsonx Posted July 12, 2011 Posted July 12, 2011 He told you in his text what he wanted. Therefor it was closure for him. He does not want to be with you or he would be right now. Thats the key. Dont over think it. Reconciliation is only worth it after both people have moved on and healed from the last relationship and it starts a new. Thats it. Both people have to let go and fate has to bring them back together somewhere down the line for it to truly honestly work again.
radiodarcy Posted July 12, 2011 Posted July 12, 2011 i agree with wilsonx. it's only been a little over a week after the breakup -- he's probably just digesting everything and this is his way of getting closure. i would let it go and not bother to respond.
Mack05 Posted July 12, 2011 Posted July 12, 2011 Luvbug he is seriously confused as you must be. That's why if you get back together now, there is a HIGH probability it will fail for the same reasons as before or new unforeseen problems come about. In my opinion, I would acknowledge this text by saying I miss you too, but please leave me be as I try to come to terms with all of this. Then I would stay strictly new contact for 2 months (even if be breaks it). In all the books I have read on breaking up, the minimum the authors recommed is 2 months NC (which is savagely hard)...
Author luvbug89 Posted July 13, 2011 Author Posted July 13, 2011 Mack -- Yes, it is :/ Even after not responding back to his txt there are so many times where I would just want to say I miss you, let's talk this out. But unfortunately, you're correct we probably won't last because we haven't worked out what we need to with ourselves. It sucks to know that I have to stay strictly NC. I feel so mean then again, I don't want him to get any ideas that I "hate" him or I've "moved on" when I haven't. Wilson -- I completely agree..this was closure for him. I'm trying as best as I can to let it go, and I'm doing very well but I miss him sooo much and I hate the thought of us just not speaking together anymore. It is what it is and I've got to move forward and work on me. As you said,hopefully down the road, if we're both still single we could probably work out something then -- but again, not counting on it and only time will tell. Radioarcy -- True. He usually breaks everything down within a week of him being without contact with me. I know he truly misses me but I feel that as you said, it was his closure. He did mention he "needed to get this off my chest" so, I'm sure he feels good for saying it. Thanks guys for the responses, I plan to not contact whatsoever and move forward with my life. It's soo hard when he's the only person on my mind right now but keeping busy and hanging out with my family is mending a lot of the pain.
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