lalalandman Posted July 8, 2011 Posted July 8, 2011 What's up, I'm back. So here's what happened recently... My ex1 and I dated 5 years. She could never commit and cheated a ton. She broke up with me about 5-6 times to fool around and various other reasons. However, we really click, and were desperately in love. Back in August 2010, she broke up with me again, and in September, I met ex2. Ex2 and I fall hard, and she moves in within a month. Ex1 gets wind of this, and starts harassing us. She calls a ton of my friends going on and on about how she took me for granted and completely effed up basically. Well, ex2 was a rebound, but so was I, because she got out of a 2 year relationship. So, ex1 is coming to the house middle of nights, banging on doors, sending mail, and finally, ex2 and I break up in January because of the harassment and because, well, I sort of let ex1 back into my heart. I go back to ex1, and she goes back to her ex. So I was working it out with ex1 up until beginning of May, and she breaks it off with me. She tells me to move on and she doesn't love me anymore. I spend about 2 weeks telling her she's making a mistake, then I go NC. She calls me after 2 weeks NC and wants to meet up. During NC time (and this is 5 months later) I texted ex2 and asked how she was doing. I told her I found a necklace she left behind, and if she wanted it back. I checked it and found out it was broken (by ex1 I found out) and I tell her, hey sorry it's broken. We speak for a week, and the last thing I said was Hey, I just wanted to make amends and try to give you back your necklace, take care. Basically. So right before I go to meet ex1, ex2 apparently had ex1's number (probably got it from my phone when we were together), and texted her the day before I was going to visit. WOW. So ex1 goes nuts, and accuses me of seeing ex2 after we broke up in January. I told her it wasn't true at all. This is the truth. So apparently, ex1 calls ex2, finds out I was telling the truth, and apologizes, but apparently, this wasn't enough to meet me. She tells me again, she doesn't love me, and to move on. So I went NC. 2 weeks later, ex2 CONTACTS ME, out of the blue. I hadn't planned on contacting her at all. She calls to apologize and says, "Hey, I didn't realize this at first, but your ex is a manipulative Biatch and she made up a ton of lies about you, and basically victimized herself. She told me she wanted to be friends, but when I told her I was going to block your number, she got happy, and I never heard from her again". So we start talking, and I told her I wanted to be friends. She comes over during a BBQ, and we nearly NEARLY kiss. I stopped it. She starts BALLING. The next day, she starts saying things like "You're using me" and "Maybe your ex WAS right about you". So she calms down, and we decide to hang out again the next day. We get together at a coffee shop, hang out, then go back to my place late at night and watch 2 movies. She's laying on my bed, basically waiting for me to make the moves, and I just CAN'T. it's 3 am, and I take her home. She starts texting, and saying things like "I am a rebound, twice" and "You still love her" and "It's all my fault, I ruined you two, I should call her and apologize" and "I love you, but you can never love me like you love her". Basically fishing. I told her nothing is her fault, and that it's not her fault my ex doesn't love me. I told her everything is still fresh and I'm still a little hurt. She told me the reason she called was because she didn't want to throw out important people in her life. I told her I can't stop you from walking out of my life, but I don't want you to. I told her Listen, if you're thinking of contacting ex1, please don't , because it will only cause harm. So guess who calls the very next day. Ex1. She starts asking me if ex2 is trying to get back with me. I don't give her any information, and she says Ok, I'll just call her. About an hour later, she calls back, and starts talking. I don't hear anything. It's been 2 months at this point, and I stop and ask her, "What do you want?". She says Oh so you were making moves on her? I said first of all, No, you know this, because you talked with her. But didn't you tell me you didn't love me and to move on. She agreed. She starts going off again, and again, I say "What do you want? It's really simple. WHAT DO YOU WANT?" Finally, at the end of my rope, I ask a last time "What do you want???" She says I love you, and I care about you, but I don't want to work it out. Don't ever call me, text me. Oh I have to go shave my legs now..." CLICK After all this, I call my phone company, and change my phone number, and delete the email they both know about, and my FB is gone. This really sucks, but I can't be involved in this anymore. This has been the most mentally straining thing I've ever gone through with 2 people. I came home, and threw away or gave away for free on the side of the road anything she ever gave me: pics, letters, memorabilia, everything, cept one thing. And the thing is, I had an ex from 6 years ago calling me too. Obviously, ex1 has my heart. Ex2 knows this. Ex1 DEFINITELY knows this. But I sit back and wonder, crap, did I just back myself up into a corner? Ex1 pretty much ruined my relationship with ex2 back in January. Was this our time again?? The thing is, I could go to ex2, and she would still be there. But hell, maybe I'd just be asking for trouble again....
lonelynyc Posted July 8, 2011 Posted July 8, 2011 The only solution is to cut ties with both girls. It's not simple, and it would be messy, but it really sounds like neither relationship is going to turn into something stable or rewarding. You all seem to thrive on this negative drama, but isn't it distracting? Doesn't this constant back-and-forth take its toll on other parts of your life? If you're ever going to have a mature love life, you're going to have to find a more wholesome relationship. Too much negativity has transpired between you and your 2 ex-girlfriends.
Author lalalandman Posted July 8, 2011 Author Posted July 8, 2011 Really, all I've ever wanted was ex1. She's admitted to me in a letter when I first met ex2 that she loved me, and apologized for never being able to commit, sadly. I guess this is just the end between all of us. I feel completely overwhelmed though, yes. I don't know, some of my friends believe ex1 could just show up at my house. They've pushed me that I haven't done enough until I move. I don't ever want to see ex1 again, or speak with her, for the rest of my life.
lonelynyc Posted July 8, 2011 Posted July 8, 2011 Really, all I've ever wanted was ex1. She's admitted to me in a letter when I first met ex2 that she loved me, and apologized for never being able to commit, sadly. I guess this is just the end between all of us. I feel completely overwhelmed though, yes. I don't know, some of my friends believe ex1 could just show up at my house. They've pushed me that I haven't done enough until I move. I don't ever want to see ex1 again, or speak with her, for the rest of my life. I don't know how old all of you are, but the games seem very childish. Depending on her age, ex 1 might mature someday, be the type of person to build a future with. Right now though, you've wasted enough time and should focus on other aspects of your life: a job, interests, platonic friends. It takes 2 adults to make a relationship even have a chance of surviving.
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