Rello55 Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 Well me and my ex girlfriend have been 2gether for 3.5 years so im pretty much unforgettable to her but a month of being single she got with this other guy with had me devastated that was in December after going NC on and off because it was too hard for me i eventually had enough and went 2.5 months of NC so one day she calls me and she sounds happy etc this was a long convo but as she talked to me i could just tell her feelings for me has come back after that convo she started calling me and texting me every other day which is a hell of a sign that she is thinking about me and misses me evry time we talked i could tell something was different like she really wants me back so i just assumed she was single without asking her if she was or not just based on how to talked to me and how she openly accepted my invite to go to the movies with me and also assumed she was single on the fact that she wanted to come over my house which i am home alone all the time!! But me assuming she was single and me rushing to get back together was out the question because i didnt rush anything. I eventually found out that she was still with this other guy which shocked me at first but then i was like this whole situation is stupid and she is actin immature or she just didnt know how to handle this situation I just want some advice on like what to do or im i right on the fact that she doesnt know how to handle the sitaution i just truly believe her feelings for me as come back which makes her think about me more and miss me also But it doesnt make sense if she is in a relationship with this guy but wants to go over her ex house and go on a date with her ex this is just like a obvious outcome she is eventually going to come back to me
SoCal_Guy Posted June 16, 2011 Posted June 16, 2011 I am FAR from an expert on matters of the heart, but I would give you my advice since I have been in a somewhat similar situation. You obviously still have feelings for this woman, and it's even more obvious she's beginning to second-guess her decision to not be with you. It sounds like her true feelings are resurfacing, which means she's confused because her feelings for you are still strong. This is good news for you, but you must be careful, because this is not fair to the other guy. This won't be easy, but please let her understand you are open to reconnecting with her, but ONLY if she cuts it off with the other guy completely. Don't present it as an ultimatum, but just talk to her about how you feel and be honest. If you are not careful, this could really end up backfiring for you - it did for me - and not because her feelings for you will change, but she will just be more confused. She's not ready to be in a relationship if she's feeling this way but still with the other guy.
Author Rello55 Posted June 16, 2011 Author Posted June 16, 2011 I am FAR from an expert on matters of the heart, but I would give you my advice since I have been in a somewhat similar situation. You obviously still have feelings for this woman, and it's even more obvious she's beginning to second-guess her decision to not be with you. It sounds like her true feelings are resurfacing, which means she's confused because her feelings for you are still strong. This is good news for you, but you must be careful, because this is not fair to the other guy. This won't be easy, but please let her understand you are open to reconnecting with her, but ONLY if she cuts it off with the other guy completely. Don't present it as an ultimatum, but just talk to her about how you feel and be honest. If you are not careful, this could really end up backfiring for you - it did for me - and not because her feelings for you will change, but she will just be more confused. She's not ready to be in a relationship if she's feeling this way but still with the other guy. Yes that makes sense i really do think her feelings are resurfacing slowly but surely n how did ur situation back fire?
sassybetch Posted June 16, 2011 Posted June 16, 2011 thats awful. why do you want to be with a girl that can't make up her mind and is playing two guys at once? shes clearly a sketch ball who is getting off on knowing she can have you whenever and however she wants as well as the other guy. all im saying is how on earth can you be in a relationship with someone when you know first hand you cant trust them?
Author Rello55 Posted June 16, 2011 Author Posted June 16, 2011 thats awful. why do you want to be with a girl that can't make up her mind and is playing two guys at once? shes clearly a sketch ball who is getting off on knowing she can have you whenever and however she wants as well as the other guy. all im saying is how on earth can you be in a relationship with someone when you know first hand you cant trust them? 1st thing 1st im not getting played that other guy is im single n im livim the single life2tha fullest she knows she cnt have me until we r official now that other guy idk about he has something to worry about
sassybetch Posted June 16, 2011 Posted June 16, 2011 1st thing 1st im not getting played that other guy is im single n im livim the single life2tha fullest she knows she cnt have me until we r official now that other guy idk about he has something to worry about woah no need to get your panties in a twist lol. all im saying is if shes the type of person to play him she is the type of person to do it to you as well and she will and she has.
Author Rello55 Posted June 16, 2011 Author Posted June 16, 2011 woah no need to get your panties in a twist lol. all im saying is if shes the type of person to play him she is the type of person to do it to you as well and she will and she has. I wasnt getting mad or nothing i understand where your coming from but i should notice when im getting played or not but how do u think she played me?
SoCal_Guy Posted June 16, 2011 Posted June 16, 2011 Yes that makes sense i really do think her feelings are resurfacing slowly but surely n how did ur situation back fire? Rello - I would say mine backfired due to several reasons, but the underlying theme was when my ex came back to me from being emotionally cheated on, it was just too soon. Our attraction to each other got in the way of the fact that she was not ready to be in a serious relationship. She was still hung up on him despite what he did to her (he's a loser, by the way), and I'm the one who got hurt the most in all of it. If you want to read my story, check out my threads started or find the one called "How patient should I be?" in the Second Chances forum. It's long, but there is some awesome advice in there from the real experts like homebrew, Graceful and RecordProducer. I should have listened to them and my therapist instead of following my heart and emotions. Live and learn.
Author Rello55 Posted June 16, 2011 Author Posted June 16, 2011 Rello - I would say mine backfired due to several reasons, but the underlying theme was when my ex came back to me from being emotionally cheated on, it was just too soon. Our attraction to each other got in the way of the fact that she was not ready to be in a serious relationship. She was still hung up on him despite what he did to her (he's a loser, by the way), and I'm the one who got hurt the most in all of it. If you want to read my story, check out my threads started or find the one called "How patient should I be?" in the Second Chances forum. It's long, but there is some awesome advice in there from the real experts like homebrew, Graceful and RecordProducer. I should have listened to them and my therapist instead of following my heart and emotions. Live and learn. Ok I will read it but with my situation i believe her feelings are resurfacing just from me assuming she was single by the way she talkd to me and wantd to come over my house and go on that little date i believe she just doesnt know what she is doing is too many emotions for her so she just goes with the flow so idk what to do but go NC
SoCal_Guy Posted June 16, 2011 Posted June 16, 2011 Yes, my ex's feelings like that resurfaced, too. It's hard to see through it, because they seem so real and genuine. They are, but that doesn't mean she's ready for a relationship yet. Mine wasn't and I got burned. It lasted about five weeks and then she flaked out.
Author Rello55 Posted June 16, 2011 Author Posted June 16, 2011 Yes, my ex's feelings like that resurfaced, too. It's hard to see through it, because they seem so real and genuine. They are, but that doesn't mean she's ready for a relationship yet. Mine wasn't and I got burned. It lasted about five weeks and then she flaked out. yes that makes sense i think she is not ready for OUR relationship because we were together for 3 yrs and she was way more serious with me den she is with him its only a matter of time before she just comes back i wont rush anything though
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