youngskywalker Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 (edited) The story goes... I have a g/f of 7 months and I have yet to perform oral sex on her. She just doesn't like it. Problem is, I think it's the ultimate and want to do it. I've never pressured her at all and have respected her feelings about it. She knows 100% my stance on it but I still haven't 'convinced' her to let me do it. I'm almost to the point of refusing sex to her unless she allows me to go down on her. Something tells me that isn't the right approach to take. Or is it? In bed the sex is wonderful and it's kept me satisfied... for now. So I'd like to get some ideas on the right way to approach this. What is actually going through her mind??? If it helps, she told me she never masturbates and has never had what she would consider an orgasm. Yes, I have openly talked to her about this but her stance is "it's just not something she likes". Edited June 13, 2011 by youngskywalker
oaks Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 In bed the sex is wonderful and it's kept me satisfied... for now. Well that's good. Is it satisfying for her, too?
rafallus Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 Either you're doing it all wrong, which you probably are - too much pressuring it seems, it would be much better in the spur of the moment - when she's aroused, you would see if she really has some qualms about oral. If she does, well, up to you to decide if you want to keep her.
Author youngskywalker Posted June 13, 2011 Author Posted June 13, 2011 Either you're doing it all wrong, which you probably are - too much pressuring it seems, it would be much better in the spur of the moment - when she's aroused, you would see if she really has some qualms about oral. If she does, well, up to you to decide if you want to keep her. I have never tried to pressure her. I know better than to do that to a woman. But it's a good point to try to get it on in the spur of the moment. Wait until she's aroused WHICH I HAVE DONE..... and leads me to the next point. I should hold off sex to her a little. Let me illustrate. Her: Baby I want you so bad. Me: I want you so bad too. Let me go down on you. Her: No, just f@#ck me Me: OK Or I could do; Her: Baby I want you to f@#ck me right now Me: Sure baby, I will but not until I go down on you first. Suggestions?
oaks Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 Suggestions? Find someone you're sexually compatible with.
Author youngskywalker Posted June 13, 2011 Author Posted June 13, 2011 Find someone you're sexually compatible with. Is there perfect sexual compatibility? Everything else sexually with this girl is great. Just this one issue. I would also add that in 7 months I've had a BJ only twice. I've never asked her to do it either. No pressure. Where can a guy find a girl who wants to have her snatch ate? Sorry for being so blunt... honestly.
Finch Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 It's possible that oral sex just doesn't work for her, and she may feel awkward about having you go down on her knowing it's not going to get her off. Or maybe she isn't comfortable enough with having someone go down on her to relax and enjoy it. Either way, continuing to pressure her or refusing to have intercourse with her unless she allows you to perform oral sex on her first will probably make her feel worse. If you keep insisting on it you run the risk of it becoming a major point of contention between the two of you, and she may withdraw from sex or the relationship altogether. Try bringing up the topic in a non-sexual situation rather than when you're in the middle of getting it on. Explain to her that it's something you enjoy and would like to try with her. Ask her to let you know if there's anything you can do that would make her more comfortable with with it. And then leave it at that. She may come around to the idea. But be prepared for the possibility that she might not - some women (whether it's due to being uncomfortable with their bodies, with sex, or because of previous negative experiences) are not comfortable with receiving oral sex. People don't all enjoy the same things when it comes to sex. You like it, she doesn't. If it's something you truly feel you cannot live without then eventually you'll need to decide whether you want to stay in the relationship or not. Best of luck!
depplover_1980 Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 I think she is being unreasonable and frigid not to try it. Compromise that she try it for 30 secs and if she doesn't like it, you'll stop. I think you'll be down there a while...
Author youngskywalker Posted June 13, 2011 Author Posted June 13, 2011 I think she is being unreasonable and frigid not to try it. Compromise that she try it for 30 secs and if she doesn't like it, you'll stop. I think you'll be down there a while... Yeah, now that's what I'm talking about! Forget all the other posts on how I'm pressuring her. Not so! Once, for reasons I don't remember, she told me she would let me go down on her if I had sex with her. That time came and went. But if she said it once then she'll say it again. I say, I need to bring it up as a precursor to intercourse. It's just a thought. I'd like to know if there are any women out there absolutely love it. I'd like to hook up with you lol.
Els Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 What are her reasons for not liking oral sex? Your technique might not be suitable for her and she might just not have the guts to tell you. I know a guy who once admitted to me that he often refused oral sex from his girl because her teeth dug into him like no tomorrow and he didn't have the heart to tell her that.
NoReallyThatHappened Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 I can't imagine refusing. That said, she may be one of those women who aren't into it for whatever reason. Do you know if she's ever experienced it before? And yes, there is such a think as perfect sexual compatibility.
iris219 Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 she told me she never masturbates and has never had what she would consider an orgasm. Am I the only one who thinks the above (especially the latter part) is much of a concern than her not wanting oral sex? And it's probably connected to her disliking oral.
Afishwithabike Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 Am I the only one who thinks the above (especially the latter part) is much of a concern than her not wanting oral sex? And it's probably connected to her disliking oral. I agree with you. I have a feeling she thinks oral sex is dirty and that good girls don't have it performed on them. Somewhere in her upbringing she probably got that message and internalized it. If she doesn't orgasm and hasn't ever masturbated, she probably has a hard time letting go sexually and someone like that is going to find oral sex pretty extreme.
Els Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 Am I the only one who thinks the above (especially the latter part) is much of a concern than her not wanting oral sex? And it's probably connected to her disliking oral. Oh, definitely. A woman has to be comfortable with her own sexuality before engaging in any sort of sex. Has she expressed no interest in masturbating?
Lucky_One Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 I am guessing that this girl is fairly young, and that this is possibly the first sexual partner she feels "safe" with. If this is the case, then she very likely may "grow" into her sexuality. I am pretty open sexually, but I surely didn't jump off the starting block like this. It took time, a certain amount of bravery, safety, and a few good men who adored me and my body and women in general. I don't know if you drink, but sometimes drinking in moderation can be helpful. A glass of wine or two (no more!!) can help lessen her inhibitions, dim mood lighting can make her feel comfortable and pretty (women can be pretty freaked out about their bodies and what they perceive them to look like), and some serious foreplay can work wonders. Start with a non-sensual backrub, and then move into the sensual places. Spend way more time than you ever thought you could spend. Lots of manual, lots of kissing her skin. Don't give up on her though! Patience, grasshopper! You could be molding the world's most accomplished lover with every kiss and movement!
daphne Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 Is there perfect sexual compatibility? Everything else sexually with this girl is great. Just this one issue. I would also add that in 7 months I've had a BJ only twice. I've never asked her to do it either. No pressure. Where can a guy find a girl who wants to have her snatch ate? Sorry for being so blunt... honestly. I hate to be Susie spelling bee, but that's "who wants to have her snatch eaten?" To answer that question - Everywhere? I don't know if there's perfect sexual compatibility. But there's damn near close to perfect sexual compatibility. And it usually involves some of the above. But you love her. I get it.
Lucky_One Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 I rather date a multiorgasmic woman from the get go. Go for it. Let me know how that works out for you.
AmEricanWomann Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 Oh for goodness sakes...you're going to withhold sex from her ,which you have admited was great, in order force this young woman to do something she has no interest in? You sound like a selfish, manipulative ass. She doesn't like it and she shouldn't be forced to submit to it. And isn't the point of oral sex to give the other person pleasure? If its displeasing to her, then the only reason you want to make her do it is to control her. Grow up. Either accept that there are things she doesnt want to do and just learn to enjoy the great sex you two have together, or move on and find a woman that enjoys receiving oral sex. However, I have to tell you, since giving great oral to a woman has alot to do with being in tune with what what she finds pleasurable, I don't think you'd be very good at it since all you seem to care about is what pleases you.
TuffCookieX Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 WHAT?! Who the hell doesn't want to recieve oral sex?! Second question: She's doesn't masturbate? No wonder she's never had an orgasm. How the hell can someone get you off if you don't even know how to do it to yourself? The only way for you to be able to make her orgasm is if she can direct you and tell you exactly what she likes. But how can she know what she likes if she doesn't touch herself? Multiorgasmic girls are those who are sexually intune with themselves. A guy wanting to force oral sex on his woman? That's just hot.
thatone Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 I'd like to know if there are any women out there absolutely love it. I'd like to hook up with you lol. yeah, her name is "all the rest of them".
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