EgoJoe Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 I had been talking with PelicanPete and there were legitimate unresolved issues that I needed to persue yet it wasn't the right time although I appreciate his encouragement and advice alot. I did not follow TaraMaiden's advice or the advice of others. I would have done better to wait. Though perhaps it's best that I learned this harsh lesson. It's over and I'm done with it. No need to report on what was said or done. Back to Square 1 although with a different attitude. Perspective is a MOFO and what stings the most is something she said to deliberately hurt me. I don't know if I deserved it or not but I can honestly say, I provoked it. I won't be breaking NC to admit that. It's dead, Facebook deactivated indefinately and my life is going to be ok. To deal with this shame I will actively apply these lessons unlike my first breakup with this girl where I just drank.
Fedor Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 Sounds like your a little more at peace with the situation. If so, I am glad to hear. Keep on keeping on.
sun_moon Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 Hey which email? lol EgoJoe, its ok you will be fine, we all will. I myself set myself back today. I f-ing CHASED THE CLOWN because he had my money....details to come later, lunch break over. I'm so angry though arrrrrgggggggggggggggggggggg, and it could have been worse. We are still proud of you, you are reluctantly accepting though, I can tell, you are progressing. Its ok, you are not at square 1 but 2 or 3. I just got off the phone with my best friend, and her advice will apply to you as well: just because you might feel you took 2 steps back, you still have taken 10 steps forward, you are still ok, and will be ok. This is a small set back and you are mentally better equipped to handle it.
Author EgoJoe Posted June 9, 2011 Author Posted June 9, 2011 Sun_moon@gmail or whatever. The one you posted in the thread for "the magic of making up."
Pikachu Posted June 9, 2011 Posted June 9, 2011 You had to do what you had to do. After my exe and I broke up my family was furious at me for going to see my dogs in my old house (our house) a week after I moved away. Funny thing is at the time they didnt even know she cheated on me yet. But I had unresolved issues and to be honest I missed my babies and I had to see my exe. What a complete mistake. As soon as I walked in I knew right away what everyone was trying to keep from me. Our house was now her house. Nothing was the same, both physically and emotionally. What a terrible night. After a ton of arguing and crying I was told that I should leave. The house we bought together and lived in for years and I was told to leave. My point is although it was a horrible night, I learned something amazing that night. I learned their was no going back. What we were was gone. It would have taken a huge amount of time for me to figure that out just keeping NC. So even though I regret how things ended with my exe that night I learned a huge lesson and came out of it a better person. Now I can stick to NC and not have the "what ifs". My dad told me from the beginning of this break up (my first btw) that everyone goes through this differently. We all make mistakes but in the end we learn to move on at our own pace.
Author EgoJoe Posted June 9, 2011 Author Posted June 9, 2011 (edited) Meh. I probably overreacted to a Facebook pic but there were ups and downs. I just don't even want to think about any of it anymore. Can't shake the stingers, "You don't get me." "We think differently, I wanted space to think." "I don't want to talk to you and I don't want to see you." "Don't wait for me." "I did want to work on it and you kept pushing me." "Let me go. Have you said everything you need to say? I don't want to hang up." "You hurt me because I had to be so strong." (This one bothered me. Alot) "I'm broken, don't make me repeat why." "I lost myself and found myself then I came to terms with the people I had lost." (In response to how she went from needing me to being confused) "You don't have to agree, I know you don't get me." "I'm not dating I'm working like I do every summer." "When I'm ready."(In reponse to ehen will you want to talk to me I replied, how will I know and she said the next one) "You shouldn't worry about it." (Last two is when asked how long did she not want to hear from me) "A long time." Her final answer to the question. At the end of our Tuesday convo, I said, "It's hard to get someone when they weren't honest with you and they change as they put up an emotional wall. You can take that for what it's worth, goodbye" I was trying to tackle specific issues. Ugh, all the things that lead up to this and I would still wager extraneous factors. I wish have been patient during the "break" atleast then I could have had a shot at seeing her again. I was being more honest than I needed to be. What is done is done though. I sent her a "I don't want you back message." at almost 3AM Wednseday morning. It's not really true and I may have overreacted to a Photo she put up instead of responding to my first message of "How Long" etc. Yet the look on her face was obvious contempt, it is what lead to me calling her on Tuesday. Yet it needed to be said. Because I need to move on anyways. Some of the stuff she said could have been cop outs. Yet she was reasonable to a degree. I've been told her anger at me conveys lingering feelings and thats all fine and dandy except she doesn't seem to care if she ever sees me again. Poor communication, arguments etc. Awesome. Edited June 9, 2011 by EgoJoe
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