bl22 Posted May 29, 2011 Posted May 29, 2011 hello everyone havent posted here much but I was dumped back in october last year. It was a horrible thing to go through but I thought I'd give you all a little insight into being 7 months NC feels like. First of all, the pain is gone. Yes there may be a slight hint of sadness due to missing the actual person she was during the relationship, but remember...they have changed now. This especially applies to people dumped due to GIGS where the relationship you actually shared was full of fun times, loving memories and didnt invole any cheating/violence/abuse. You have to remmeber that whilst they are going through GIGS, they are living in their own fantasy world. A world where they convince themselves they deserve to do whatever they want to without any consequences. This is why alot of gigs women/men tend to do stuff they regret and not even realise until they've looked back on it year or 2 later. Has she broke NC, no she hasnt but I'm glad to say thats a good thing! Yes it may boost my ego temporarily to know shes thinking about me but it will halt your progress if they are stil in contact with you. What I have done to prevent any delays in my healing were DELETE FACEBOOK. yes I said DELETE. Don't just block but get away from that website until you know you are 100% healed...and if you have to ask yourself 'am i 100% healed' then you are not. I know I am not 100% healed as of yet which I why I aint even contemplating using FB. Also it was a great relief to get rid of facebook personally as I felt i had nothing good to show in terms of updates and pictures. I was too miserable to try and appear to be happy whilst she was off 'living the life' Another tip - Take them off the pedastal. I stil suffer from this time to time as she meant a whole lot to me and was pretty much my ideal woman, but slowly but surely with each day, I'm beginging to see there are alot of good looking , nice women out there also. Im begining to see she will have to live with her decisions, not me. She wasnt the be all and end all of life. What to do instead of this? PUT YOU ON THE PEDASTAl. Yes thats right. If you dont respect yourself...how will anyone else? What ive done since the breakup, before i met my ex i was obssesed with the gym and looking good physically. She was obviously attracted to that trait and I felt on top of the world to finally have the perfect woman in my life, I felt I could acomplish anything. But over time, I began to neglect my hobbies and ambitions for her. At the time I didnt think this was a bad thing because as long as I had her, I was very happy. Fast forward 2 years and the relationships over and I had 2 ways to go. Self destruct into a path of misery, bitterness and regret. Or take hold of my life and build myself back up. I choose the 2nd 1 after a couple of months of depression. I had to find the inner fighter in me to drag myself out of bed and forced myself to get to the gym, to see friends, to catch up with old friends, to begin achieving my goals. 7 months later and I am now aiming to be a personal trainer, I'm about to release my first music album, about to finish my degree (something I thought I wouldnt accomplish due to the breakup and getting behind on work) and I am ready to start my own business. She knew about the goals I wanted to achieve and wanted to involve her in them, now she will get to witness me moving forward if she ever decides to look me up 1 day....in the meantime, I dont plan on breaking NC and am looking forward to a very promising future. As for women, I'm keeping my options open, you will all learn from this experience and when you do, you will spot signs that somethings not right instantly and you will know exactly how not to act if ever faced with this kind of thing again. It will be great when I finally fall for another girl again, because I know this time, I'll be so much better off than I could have ever been had I stil been in a relationship with my ex. Just remember happiness comes from within, not from someone else.
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