TheStylist Posted May 25, 2011 Posted May 25, 2011 I dated this guy 4 days ago. We had a nice dinner in a fine Italian restaurant, then chilled out in a wine bar. We shared a bottle of red wine and I got a bit intoxicated after. We joined his friend and headed out to this club. I don't really dance and god, how I hate trance music. Few minutes later, he started holding my hands and tried his best to get me to dance which I refused profusely. Thirty minutes after, I told him I need to go home. While he was driving me home, he grabbed my left hand and started squeezing, hugging and kissing it and saying if that he wanted me to be his girlfriend. I was like "Ya, right!" But he kept pleading in a boyish way. When I was about to get out the car, he tried to kiss me four times. I looked away, of course so his kisses planted on my cheek. The next day, he asked me for a 3 day island get away. I find it really weird and got too offended by this time. I felt like he was too fast and I don't know why. So I texted him back saying that I'm not his typical, easy girl and I felt so disrespected with the way he acted on our first date. He was very apologetic though. So the next day, he asked me out again for a dinner and movie. On the way home, he played all these love songs for me. We hang out for almost an hour in his car in my park drive, and there, he asked me again.. Pleading that we could be official bf/gf. I told him I'm not ready and asked him if what's his problem why he's so much in a hurry. He said he just like me and want to get to know me better. Now, what's the deal here guys? Is he for real or just playing around and just being a jerk?
ivalm Posted May 25, 2011 Posted May 25, 2011 (edited) I think he's just desperate, but I doubt he's a player/jerk as he is being very faux pas, which probably means he is genuine.. I don't think it's wise to accept his bf/gf proposal as people who become so excited early on also have a danger of fading rapidly once the initial rush is over, and also you don't seem ready anyways. If you really like him, then tell him to SLOW DOWN and see if he complies. If you don't really like him, which I suspect may be the case, then end it -- tell him you're not interested. Please, don't semi-string him along though, since I think he really likes you (again, not sure if this is to stay). Regarding "kiss on first date" in general, this is not uncommon. If the girl and boy both want it, why not. Although, again, kissing does not mean bf/gf (or any exclusivity for that matter). Indeed, for some people even sex does not come with exclusivity (although I don't support that). Edited May 25, 2011 by ivalm
Jynxx Posted May 25, 2011 Posted May 25, 2011 Why did you go on 2nd date with him? There's obviously no attraction from your side, why lead him on?
ASG Posted May 25, 2011 Posted May 25, 2011 Regarding "kiss on first date" in general, this is not uncommon. If the girl and boy both want it, why not. Although, again, kissing does not mean bf/gf (or any exclusivity for that matter). Indeed, for some people even sex does not come with exclusivity (although I don't support that). This. (though my views on sex are slightly different) I do, however, tend to be seriously freaked out and turned off by guys who, after they've known me for 2 minutes, start saying how much they like me... I mean... come on! You don't even know me! That kind of behaviour, for me, reeks of desperation or even just lack of social/dating skills. I would not go on a 2nd date with someone like that. Maybe they think they need to say that..? They really really don't!
Author TheStylist Posted May 25, 2011 Author Posted May 25, 2011 Nooo, it's not like that. I'm not leading him on. Its just that I haven't moved on with my ex yet. We broke up 2 months ago and somehow, I'm still hurting. He knows about this and told me, he could help me forget him. We're on the same page actually since he broke up with his gf of 2 years 2 months ago but he'd totally moved on already. Truth is, he's my ideal guy. Good-looking, successful, funny and sooo sweet but I still can't stop myself thinking about my ex. And at the same time, I wanted to move on and completely forget about him but I don't want to use this new guy since he is likeable. I just needed time but he wants to be with me, saying it would be easier for me to move on if he's there. But gosh, I dont want any exclusive relationship yet. I'm too hurt from my ex. I still want to enjoy my space. Ya, but this new guy is really fast and it made me think he just want me for sex. DO you think so?
Author TheStylist Posted May 25, 2011 Author Posted May 25, 2011 This. (though my views on sex are slightly different) I do, however, tend to be seriously freaked out and turned off by guys who, after they've known me for 2 minutes, start saying how much they like me... I mean... come on! You don't even know me! That kind of behaviour, for me, reeks of desperation or even just lack of social/dating skills. I would not go on a 2nd date with someone like that. Maybe they think they need to say that..? They really really don't! I agree, totally! I would love it more if they talk intellectually than say things such as these when they don't even know me yet! I'm just being nice with him that's why I agree on a 2nd date. But something is not really right with him. It's like he's gonna die in few weeks or he's just after of one thing here
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