I did the right thing. I just didn't go about it in the right way.

May 17, 2011

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t260049/

The link posted above is a reference to my first & original thread on this board. It’s also for those of you who need background information or want background information to read in order to understand what I’m telling you about now. Without reciting the whole entire story from the beginning, in my original thread I said I would tell this guy to leave me alone

& put a stop to this before it went any further. Well…I didn’t (but, wait…before the lectures start...). Things continued the same as always. We’d see each other in the mornings, hug, talk, and hold hands. The usual. However, there was a point where we barely acknowledged each other for about two weeks or so because people were always around when we saw each other. Then, at one point he held a conversation with me, asking how I had been, asking about school, etc. During this particular conversation, he told me that he “missed me” but just couldn’t talk to me because all these people were always around. My only response to that was “Ok” and nothing else. The next day, I saw him again and we talked. This time he admitted that he had been wanting to kiss me. The following day, he hugged me and tried to give me his number but, I wouldn’t take it. He also tried to get us alone away from where people could see us but, it didn’t work

out because I wasn’t cooperating with him like I usually did. Instead, he just watched me walk away & blew a kiss at me. He wanted one in return

but, he didn’t get it. The day after that, he managed to get me alone just long enough to give me a kiss on the lips and say good-bye before I left for class. During this time and even afterwards, he kept admitting to me that he liked me and that he wanted me. One day, he even asked if he could come over to my place (we all know for what) but, I said “No”.

About a week after what I lasted stated, he made the stupid and bold move to playfully pinch my cheeks (in other words, touch my face) in front of my dad. My dad didn't say anything to him because English isn't his language but as soon as we got home, he made it clear to me that he didn't like what he had seen. He was yelling at me, telling me that what this guy had done was out of line, inappropriate, & that he shouldn't be touching my face or touching me in any way, shape or form for whatever reason. He also told me that he wanted me to stay away from him & didn't even want me to talk to him at all. He also mentioned that he didn't like this guy anymore (because before this, he did). Obviously, I got the message. Trust me, I did & I was going to address it with this guy the next time I saw him but...the next time I saw him, just as I was going to tell him about the previous incident, he asked me for a hug as he opened up his arms & my dad saw him doing this. My dad, however, didn't know that he was asking me for a hug, he thought he was trying to block my path or something. All he knew was that this guy was trying to touch me again & he wasn't having it. On our way to the car & throughout the entire car ride (which was about a half hour long) he kept yelling at me & lecturing me about how I need to stay away from this guy & vice versa. He also lectured me about what would happen if his wife saw him or caught him, as well as the gossip that would go around, etc (mind you, he doesn't even know the whole story). Then, at one point he threatened to tell my older brother (who is within the same age range as the guy) about this guy & my brother gets pretty violent when he gets angry. As soon as he said that, I got really scared because I knew that if my brother found out, all hell would break lose. My brother would confront the guy, most likely get into a physical altercation with him, which means his wife would find out & other people in our building would too, which would then lead to gossip. This caused me to panic SO much that as soon as I could, I emailed the guy explaining to him what my dad had seen, mentioning to him that my dad wasn't happy about it at all, and asking him to leave me alone because I don't want any drama.

He never responded to this email so, I had no idea what was going on with him, if he had read the email or not, how he felt about it, whether he agreed to it or not, etc. I also hadn't seen him for a couple of days. Finally, I saw him while I was with my dad one morning. He didn't even bother to make eye contact with me & said a simple "Good Morning" to my dad. With the way he was acting, I could tell that he had seen the email I sent him. The next day, he saw me while I was alone & he just looked at me & said "I understand". The day after that, I saw him while he was with his son (who is 14). They walked past me & I can almost swear I heard his son ask "So, are you not gonna try to hit that anymore?" as they walked past me but, I didn't hear an answer to the question. The following day, I saw him again & he gave me a simple, uninterested "Good Morning" when he saw me. Now, for some reason my stupid a## mouth opened up before my brain could process what I was going to say & I said "I know you're mad" He stopped and said "No, I'm not mad. I'm not mad at all. I completely understand. I don't want to cause problems for you or your family" then proceeded to walk away. As of then, whenever he sees me he simply says hello (or nothing at all) and avoids eye contact.

Anyway, the point here is that...it's over. This whole "thing" is over. It's been 2, almost 3 weeks since I decided to put an end to it.

Here's the weird part though: I KNOW I did the right thing but, I felt pretty bad afterwards. I guess I felt bad for a number of reasons:

1. I couldn't believe I had allowed myself to get sucked into this situation.

2. I couldn't believe that I allowed myself to develop a crush on this guy.

3. I had just let go of the only guy who "liked" me (although I know I did the right thing).

4. Part of me, felt as if I had lost some of my father's trust.

5. I hate how awkward things are now (in general) with him and even with my dad from time to time.

6. I hate how I allowed my low self-esteem to cloud my good judgement.

I'll stop here but, I could probably list more reasons as to why I felt/feel bad.

Before anyone responds...I know you're probably thinking that I never would've ended this if we hadn't been "caught" by my dad. The truth is, I never planned to take it any further than where it was. I know I should've put a stop to this a long time ago but, I feel like the important part is that I finally did and I did it before anything even happened (not that I was planning to allow anything to happen). Part of me, wishes my dad could see the kind of daughter he has & realize that I was/am smart enough to respect his decisions & actually obey him rather than rebel against him (but I rather he not know about everything that went on). I know I deserve some harsh criticism here for what I did, but, part of me also feels like I deserve at least a little bit of props.

So, go ahead....give me your input....(if you'd like).

May 17, 2011

Unfortunately you didn't put a stop to anything...your dad did. Sad really. You had the opportunity to step up on your behalf. It might be to your benefit to examine your feelings about the situation and think about what you would do in the invent you come close to erasing boundaries again.

May 17, 2011

Unfortunately you didn't put a stop to anything...your dad did. Sad really. You had the opportunity to step up on your behalf. It might be to your benefit to examine your feelings about the situation and think about what you would do in the invent you come close to erasing boundaries again.

Point taken. My dad put a stop to it.

Thanks for your advice & input.

May 17, 2011

Unfortunately you didn't put a stop to anything...your dad did. Sad really. You had the opportunity to step up on your behalf. It might be to your benefit to examine your feelings about the situation and think about what you would do in the invent you come close to erasing boundaries again.

That's EXACTLY what I thought when reading it, GS's dad did it all and it also seems that GS is missing the drama and the attention now.

GS.........you need to somehow address what has made you like and need the attention from this man. You knew inside of yourself it was twisted, and you got some of the best advice I've ever saw here but yet you listened to none of it, your own intuition nor any of what the good people here told you. If you don't address this destructive thing inside of you, you will cause harm to yourself by not setting good boundaries in your future dealings with men. There are many snakes in the grass just waiting to take a bite out of someone like you, so wake up hon. Wake the hell up!

May 17, 2011

That's EXACTLY what I thought when reading it, GS's dad did it all and it also seems that GS is missing the drama and the attention now.

GS.........you need to somehow address what has made you like and need the attention from this man. You knew inside of yourself it was twisted, and you got some of the best advice I've ever saw here but yet you listened to none of it, your own intuition nor any of what the good people here told you. If you don't address this destructive thing inside of you, you will cause harm to yourself by not setting good boundaries in your future dealings with men. There are many snakes in the grass just waiting to take a bite out of someone like you, so wake up hon. Wake the hell up!

You're right BB07. I'm not even going to go against you because you're right. I need to wake up. I think it all goes back to my original issue. My self-esteem. I definitely need to address that but, I just don't know how to repair it. I'm sorry if it seems like I'm trying to come off as a sob story because that's not my intention at all.

May 17, 2011

if you feel that you have learned from the situation, good for you.

Best of luck in your life, and may many good things come your way:)

Thank you frozensprouts.

May 17, 2011

I don't think you've lost your father's trust, he was protecting you. Men have a very good understanding of other men. This guy was actually telling his 14 yo son he was trying to seduce you???? :sick:

May 17, 2011

You're right BB07. I'm not even going to go against you because you're right. I need to wake up. I think it all goes back to my original issue. My self-esteem. I definitely need to address that but, I just don't know how to repair it. I'm sorry if it seems like I'm trying to come off as a sob story because that's not my intention at all.

You will get there, it sounds like you are making great progress. I too have realized I have had low self-esteem, I didn't love myself enough to seek out a healthy drama-free relationship with a guy I could have all to myself . . . something within me craved the chaos & destruction of being with an MM. I think you are doing well to not get down on yourself or beat yourself up for the past but instead focusing positively on the future, or even better, on the Here & Now! I could seriously wallow in my self-pity for days on end thinking of how I allowed myself to get caught up in this 'relationship' & with this MM etc., but there is no turning back, so I just try to learn how to love myself & build my esteem. It sounds like you are doing the same thing no matter how you got to this point, so good for you, & good for your dad for helping you out. Hugs. A better future awaits you now that you are free of the past. :-) I do understand still craving/missing the drama, our personalities & flaws don't just change overnight & it is always easier to escape back into the drama mentally or actually, than really deal with our own pain & learn & grow, but all we can do is be aware that we are feeling this way, not give into it, & keep striving to make healthy choices & stay positive. Good for you.

May 17, 2011

You're right BB07. I'm not even going to go against you because you're right. I need to wake up. I think it all goes back to my original issue. My self-esteem. I definitely need to address that but, I just don't know how to repair it. I'm sorry if it seems like I'm trying to come off as a sob story because that's not my intention at all.

Hon the reason I'm hard on you is I see parts of myself there.......you have such an advantage in that you are young and you can address it now before you make mistakes that you will forever regret. Please do so........ok. Do it for the marvelous young woman that you are and be the best you can be!

May 17, 2011

Hon the reason I'm hard on you is I see parts of myself there.......you have such an advantage in that you are young and you can address it now before you make mistakes that you will forever regret. Please do so........ok. Do it for the marvelous young woman that you are and be the best you can be!

BB07, trust me, I would love to see a counselor/therapist about my self-esteem issues but, I still haven't found the strength to actually go see one. I know this sounds like a stupid excuse (which I admit it is) but one of the biggest things holding me back from that is criticism. See, I come from a tight-knight family where everyone knows what's going on with everyone else. If I were to start seeing a counselor/therapist they would find out and start to criticize me. They are very critical, judgemental & ignorant in that way. To them, therapists are just for "crazy" people so, if I went to see one they would be dying to find out why & what it is that we talk about. Things, that I'm obviously not ready to share with them.

May 18, 2011

Unfortunately you didn't put a stop to anything...your dad did. Sad really. You had the opportunity to step up on your behalf. It might be to your benefit to examine your feelings about the situation and think about what you would do in the invent you come close to erasing boundaries again.

That's EXACTLY what I thought when reading it, GS's dad did it all and it also seems that GS is missing the drama and the attention now.

GS.........you need to somehow address what has made you like and need the attention from this man. You knew inside of yourself it was twisted, and you got some of the best advice I've ever saw here but yet you listened to none of it, your own intuition nor any of what the good people here told you. If you don't address this destructive thing inside of you, you will cause harm to yourself by not setting good boundaries in your future dealings with men. There are many snakes in the grass just waiting to take a bite out of someone like you, so wake up hon. Wake the hell up!

I was going to say what these 2 wonderful ladies have said.

I think you kept 'erasing' your boundary line. It took your father twice (or more) letting you know how totally inappropriate things were. It took being scared of what your brother would do.

Now, like BB said, it is time to address why YOU allowed all this. Why you kept moving your boundary?

I get you were attracted to this guy; but you also knew "right from wrong". I get you liked his attention; but he didn't make you do anything. You never stopped him from touching you or kissing you.

Before you find yourself in this kind of position again, I hope you learn to value yourself more and that you won't ever be someone's play toy. You will respect YOU enough to firmly put boundaries in place.

I hope as you get older, you will see that this was the best outcome. You will see how much your father loves you. You will take what you have learned and go forward. I agree with BB, I don't think you have lost your father's respect, but I bet he will continue to worry, continue to wonder if 'he' taught you right and if you heard That isn't a negative, it is what most parents wonder. Please listen to your dad's wisdom and value YOU more than you have.

Good luck!

May 18, 2011

GS you are doing great. You are very young and this happens to lots of young women. Sometimes its someone older and married, sometimes its someone their own age who is not good for them. It is important for you to know that you are not alone. This is common. Its part of growing up as a woman. And its not your fault that someone tried to take advantage of you. You didnt do anything wrong to attract his attention. The thing is you need to learn how to rebuff these men.

Very few women can look back and say that they have always rebuffed or brushed off the attentions of a every man that was inappropriate with them in one way or another.

It sounds like your feel like you cant express yourself with your family. You are afraid you will be judged and criticised for discussing your feelings and insecurities. The thing is everyone has insecurities. Everyone has weaknesses. And everyone needs a nonjudgemental ear.

You also sound lonely. Having a very protective strict family around you and not getting the attentoin you want from boys your own age made this more difficult.

Youve been through this now. You will learn from it. You wont let it happen again because as much as the attention made you feel good there was really nothing good about the situation. This man was a predator.

His behavior now (ignoring you) is appropriate. But notice your response. Instead of being proud that you told him to leave you alone, you apologized and were concerned that he would be angry with you.

Its a submissive behavior that is common in many families and male female relationships but also what made you vulnerable to this man's attentions. Its possible that your submissiveness made it more difficult for you to feel comfortable telling him to leave you alone.

Submissive behavior is not bad in and of itself but its not an appropriate reaction to a predator. When someone tries to take advantage of your sweet nature and you know its not right there is nothing wrong with standing up for yourself. They dont deserve the same acquiescence that you would show to your father or your brother. But if you havent learned to stand up to men, this may have been more difficult for you to see, especially when you were lonely and you enjoyed his attention.

You are not alone Golden. This happens but as others have said you are young and you have the opportunity to learn this lesson now and not let it pollute your future. I think people have been hard on you because maybe they didnt learn the lesson when they were your age.

Take good care

Edited May 18, 2011 by jj33

May 18, 2011

I was going to say what these 2 wonderful ladies have said.

I think you kept 'erasing' your boundary line. It took your father twice (or more) letting you know how totally inappropriate things were. It took being scared of what your brother would do.

Now, like BB said, it is time to address why YOU allowed all this. Why you kept moving your boundary?

I get you were attracted to this guy; but you also knew "right from wrong". I get you liked his attention; but he didn't make you do anything. You never stopped him from touching you or kissing you.

Before you find yourself in this kind of position again, I hope you learn to value yourself more and that you won't ever be someone's play toy. You will respect YOU enough to firmly put boundaries in place.

I hope as you get older, you will see that this was the best outcome. You will see how much your father loves you. You will take what you have learned and go forward. I agree with BB, I don't think you have lost your father's respect, but I bet he will continue to worry, continue to wonder if 'he' taught you right and if you heard That isn't a negative, it is what most parents wonder. Please listen to your dad's wisdom and value YOU more than you have.

Good luck!

Fooled Once, I'm not putting all of the blame on the guy. I know that I'm to blame too. As you stated, he didn't make me do anything and I also didn't stop him. I'm not denying any of that. I know that I'm old enough to know right from wrong and I know that this was all wrong.

I'm currently trying to work on my self-esteem little by little (on my own) but, unfortunately I can't fix it overnight (as much as I would love to).

May 18, 2011

GS you are doing great. You are very young and this happens to lots of young women. Sometimes its someone older and married, sometimes its someone their own age who is not good for them. It is important for you to know that you are not alone. This is common. Its part of growing up as a woman. And its not your fault that someone tried to take advantage of you. You didnt do anything wrong to attract his attention. The thing is you need to learn how to rebuff these men.

Youve been through this now. You will learn from it. You wont let it happen again because as much as the attention made you feel good there was really nothing good about the situation. This man was a predator.

His behavior now (ignoring you) is appropriate. But notice your response. Instead of being proud that you told him to leave you alone, you apologized and were concerned that he would be angry with you.

Its a submissive behavior that is common in many families and male female relationships but also what made you vulnerable to this man's attentions. Its possible that your submissiveness made it more difficult for you to feel comfortable telling him to leave you alone.

Submissive behavior is not bad in and of itself but its not an appropriate reaction to a predator. When someone tries to take advantage of your sweet nature and you know its not right there is nothing wrong with standing up for yourself. They dont deserve the same acquiescence that you would show to your father or your brother. But if you havent learned to stand up to men, this may have been more difficult for you to see, especially when you were lonely and you enjoyed his attention.

You are not alone Golden. This happens but as others have said you are young and you have the opportunity to learn this lesson now and not let it pollute your future.

I agree with this.

I'm glad your dad intervened.

I think everyone here is urging you to learn to set boundaries out of concern for you, not criticism. Life has a weird way of forcing us to have similar experiences over & over again until we finally get the lessons we're supposed to learn. Life can be a harsh teacher, though.

I respect you for coming here and being so open to everyone's comments.

Good luck! Keep coming back if you need to.

May 18, 2011

GS you are doing great. You are very young and this happens to lots of young women. Sometimes its someone older and married, sometimes its someone their own age who is not good for them. It is important for you to know that you are not alone. This is common. Its part of growing up as a woman. And its not your fault that someone tried to take advantage of you. You didnt do anything wrong to attract his attention. The thing is you need to learn how to rebuff these men.

Very few women can look back and say that they have always rebuffed or brushed off the attentions of a every man that was inappropriate with them in one way or another.

It sounds like your feel like you cant express yourself with your family. You are afraid you will be judged and criticised for discussing your feelings and insecurities. The thing is everyone has insecurities. Everyone has weaknesses. And everyone needs a nonjudgemental ear.

You also sound lonely. Having a very protective strict family around you and not getting the attentoin you want from boys your own age made this more difficult.

Youve been through this now. You will learn from it. You wont let it happen again because as much as the attention made you feel good there was really nothing good about the situation. This man was a predator.

His behavior now (ignoring you) is appropriate. But notice your response. Instead of being proud that you told him to leave you alone, you apologized and were concerned that he would be angry with you.

Its a submissive behavior that is common in many families and male female relationships but also what made you vulnerable to this man's attentions. Its possible that your submissiveness made it more difficult for you to feel comfortable telling him to leave you alone.

Submissive behavior is not bad in and of itself but its not an appropriate reaction to a predator. When someone tries to take advantage of your sweet nature and you know its not right there is nothing wrong with standing up for yourself. They dont deserve the same acquiescence that you would show to your father or your brother. But if you havent learned to stand up to men, this may have been more difficult for you to see, especially when you were lonely and you enjoyed his attention.

You are not alone Golden. This happens but as others have said you are young and you have the opportunity to learn this lesson now and not let it pollute your future. I think people have been hard on you because maybe they didnt learn the lesson when they were your age.

Take good care

Jj33, I appreciate your input. Regarding the bolded part in your response...I don't mean to put all of my personal issues out there but as much as I love my family, they aren't exactly the type that you can talk to about serious topics such as insecurities or weaknesses. I've tried to do it before & I honestly got nowhere. For example, I have a sister who I love but who often criticizes me & says things that don't exactly make me feel better about things. If I were to say something such as "I've achieved a high GPA in school" she'll say something like "Yeah, but such & such has a higher GPA & they work AND go to school, what do you do?" She's considered pretty by many (including herself) & receives compliments often. Once, she said that I'd be "prettier" if I looked more like her. She also criticizes me for being 19 years old & not having a boyfriend. She has even said that I'll probably never get married & that if I do, I'll have to pay someone to be my husband. Those are just some examples of what she says. It's funny because it's like dealing with peer pressure, except the pressure & criticism come from your own family instead of your peers (which in my opinion makes it worse).

May 18, 2011

Jj33, I appreciate your input. Regarding the bolded part in your response...I don't mean to put all of my personal issues out there but as much as I love my family, they aren't exactly the type that you can talk to about serious topics such as insecurities or weaknesses. I've tried to do it before & I honestly got nowhere. For example, I have a sister who I love but who often criticizes me & says things that don't exactly make me feel better about things. If I were to say something such as "I've achieved a high GPA in school" she'll say something like "Yeah, but such & such has a higher GPA & they work AND go to school, what do you do?" She's considered pretty by many (including herself) & receives compliments often. Once, she said that I'd be "prettier" if I looked more like her. She also criticizes me for being 19 years old & not having a boyfriend. She has even said that I'll probably never get married & that if I do, I'll have to pay someone to be my husband. Those are just some examples of what she says. It's funny because it's like dealing with peer pressure, except the pressure & criticism come from your own family instead of your peers (which in my opinion makes it worse).

Family pressure is worse. Support should come from the family..not the put downs. I for one like the snappy comebacks. The next time your sister says you will have to pay someone to be your husband, tell her that she won't be invited because you have to cut back somewhere and her mouth is too big to feed. Might shut her up quick since you will stun her into silence. Give a shot, you would be surprised at what standing up for yourself will do to others.

May 18, 2011

I agree with this.

I'm glad your dad intervened.

I think everyone here is urging you to learn to set boundaries out of concern for you, not criticism. Life has a weird way of forcing us to have similar experiences over & over again until we finally get the lessons we're supposed to learn. Life can be a harsh teacher, though.

I respect you for coming here and being so open to everyone's comments.

Good luck! Keep coming back if you need to.

I understand. I'll admit that from time to time we could all use a wake up call. In this case, having my dad yell at me, lecture me, and threatening to bring my brother into it, was the wake up call for me. I know it's sad that it had to come to that for me to finally decide to do something about it but, again it all leads back to my self-esteem issues. Issues that I'm currently trying to work on. I'm open to everyone's comments because I'm open to everyone's opinions & advice. I know that I'm young & still have a lot to learn. So, why not openly receive the input from people who have more life experience than I do?

May 18, 2011

Family pressure is worse. Support should come from the family..not the put downs. I for one like the snappy comebacks. The next time your sister says you will have to pay someone to be your husband, tell her that she won't be invited because you have to cut back somewhere and her mouth is too big to feed. Might shut her up quick since you will stun her into silence. Give a shot, you would be surprised at what standing up for yourself will do to others.

Thanks for the advice. There have been times when I've had comebacks for her but, as you stated support should be the one coming from the family instead of the put downs. Unfortunately, most of the time when she makes her stupid remarks they hurt me more than they anger me which keeps me from even responding back to her.

May 18, 2011

Thanks for the advice. There have been times when I've had comebacks for her but, as you stated support should be the one coming from the family instead of the put downs. Unfortunately, most of the time when she makes her stupid remarks they hurt me more than they anger me which keeps me from even responding back to her.

May I ask who is the oldest?

May 18, 2011

May I ask who is the oldest?

She's older. She's 31. I'm 19.

May 18, 2011

Golden you are 19. It would be great to have a really nice boyfriend etc etc etc but you dont TODAY. You know how in investments they say past performance is no indication of future performance? Well its the same in most all parts of life.

You are really smart, hardworking sensitive and no matter what your sister says I bet you are very pretty. Sometimes pretty girls who lack self esteeem dont feel pretty. And their posture isnt as good as it would be if they were confident and they dont present themselves in a way that shows just how beautiful they are on the outside and because they are shy, it takes people longer to learn how wonderful they are on the inside.

Years ago there was a stereotype in the movies of the shy librarian who took off her glasses, put on a party dress and suddenly she was the prettiest girl in the room. I suspect that is you. I dont know if you have ever seen the movie Funny Face with Audrey Hepburn but its one of those stories. You should rent it. She is very intellectual and works in a bookstore and they say she has a funny face but eventually everyone realizes she is a great beauty.

Your day will come. Keep doing well in school. It may not come today but it will and your sister may be jealous. She may be attractive to men and her greatest strength may be in attracting men but it doesnt mean that she is as smart and capable as you are.

You are working on your self esteem issues. Everything positive you do, every goal you acheive, whether or not your family praises you is a big accomplishment and something to be proud of regardless of whether you get the validation you deserve from your family.

You will find a wonderful man and your sister will eat her words.

May 18, 2011

She's older. She's 31. I'm 19.

I understand a lot better. I am 13 years older than my sister. I must admit I didn't start treating her as an adult(though she was married with a child) until she let me know in no uncertain terms she would not tolerate it anymore. You are the same age as my youngest and younger than my oldest(damn I am old:eek:). You have time. Just get comfortable with yourself. There is no rush for that. The slower you go, the stronger you get. It sounds like you have a good Dad who loves you and doesn't want to see you hurt.

May 18, 2011

BB07, trust me, I would love to see a counselor/therapist about my self-esteem issues but, I still haven't found the strength to actually go see one. I know this sounds like a stupid excuse (which I admit it is) but one of the biggest things holding me back from that is criticism. See, I come from a tight-knight family where everyone knows what's going on with everyone else. If I were to start seeing a counselor/therapist they would find out and start to criticize me. They are very critical, judgemental & ignorant in that way. To them, therapists are just for "crazy" people so, if I went to see one they would be dying to find out why & what it is that we talk about. Things, that I'm obviously not ready to share with them.

Golden........someone pointed out that I was too harsh on you earlier. I've been cranky lately as I'm lacking sleep and I'm a menopausal woman who is having hot flashes from hell but that isn't an excuse so I'd like to apologize. I hope you accept.

I see some of myself in you when I was younger and I don't want you to make the mistakes I've made and end up where I am. 50 years old and just now starting therapy because I'm damn sick and tired of carrying all this crap and I have too many mistakes under my belt that maybe I could have prevented had I addressed things sooner.

Hon there is NO shame in seeking help and there is maturity in realizing that sometimes we can not do it on her own. There is strength and honor in taking care of yourself and not worrying too much about what someone else might think, even if they love you, you've got to love yourself more.

Do it, so you can live a peaceful happy confident life and so you will look back when you are my age and be proud of yourself.

May 18, 2011

GS,

NEVER let a man touch your body without your permission like that. Kissing you, pinching your cheek...what is that?

Maybe this is some cultural deal where you're from a culture that women have no power, and if abuse is happening to the daughter, it's up to the dad/brothers to do something about it?

Next time someone touches you like that, just bring your knee up hard into his groin area. When he is doubled over in pain he will think twice about trying to do it again.

May 18, 2011

Seems people have already hit you with the reality, so I won't jump into the fray and add to that - you already know.

What I *will* say is I am glad it ended where it did. You would surely have had many regrets had it not.

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I did the right thing. I just didn't go about it in the right way.

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