EgoJoe Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 (edited) I removed my message because I'm just an emotional wreck. Edited May 14, 2011 by EgoJoe
rayne05us Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 Hang in there Joe....that's why you're here, for emotional support. We've all been there before so we want to help you get through this too.
Author EgoJoe Posted May 15, 2011 Author Posted May 15, 2011 Yeah she turned into a game playing liar or something iunno, just been building resentment etc. So I'm like, so you're really done 'cus I was emotional last night (didn't lose it but admitted to having sex with another girl when we first started dating before any commitment) and she called it cheating. But, whenever she says she's done I say are you sure she just says, I don't know. At this point. I don't want to talk to you. I don't want to se you. So i ask her the next day, are you really done or do you need time 'cus i got mixed signals, i'd like a chance to talk when you're ready she responds "I wont be ready any time soon. Please respect my wish to not hear from you for a while while I sort things out. Thanks. "
rayne05us Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 Yeah, just give her (and yourself) alot of space....do not contact. You're respecting her wishes and taking the time you need to sort this all out in your head. You said she has changed in very negative ways so you have to decide too, if you want to go back down this road or can you do better. The more distant you have the more sure both of you will be.
Author EgoJoe Posted May 15, 2011 Author Posted May 15, 2011 (edited) It's way over I just gotta tell myself that if she comes back to straight diss her. She didn't deserve my efforts, the benefit of the doubt. Ironically this whole process has made me a better person and I contacted an old ex to apologize for being a dick and she has help me see through the BS. Edited May 15, 2011 by EgoJoe
rayne05us Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 Wow!! it sounds like you have everything in perspective. This IS actually happening to benefit you believe it or not!! Great job!! You definitely know your worth, don't ever lose that!!!
Author EgoJoe Posted May 15, 2011 Author Posted May 15, 2011 Been doing the work. Therapist. Studying with a former monk who works at microsot helping them with solaris linux lol. Staying busy etc.
Author EgoJoe Posted May 15, 2011 Author Posted May 15, 2011 I have been doing the work. Therapy, research, studying with a guy who lived in a Hindu Monestary for 3 years and now works at Microsoft helping them with Solaris. I also got back into AA, 'cus throughout my almost 3 years of sobriety I was mostly just a dry drunk.
Author EgoJoe Posted May 15, 2011 Author Posted May 15, 2011 My net glitched and I ended up double posting. I sent her this message in response to what she said, "This is goodbye. I will send a letter elaborating on the things I have not had a chance to do so without lashing out or placing blame, so that I don't have to carry the thoughts. Please, do not consider it disrespectful to your wish as it will be my last missive, forever. I am dead serious. Read it when you want or throw it away. " I will take my time with the letter and write it by hand. It's very sad but she is not the same girl anymore and may already be seeing someone else without telling me she's done. It doesn't matter if she reads it or understands it. I'll be releasing it all.
Author EgoJoe Posted May 15, 2011 Author Posted May 15, 2011 (edited) I backpedalled 'cus I keep overreacting. I'm pretty sure I'll never hear from her but I sent this and now I'm truly leaving it alone. "Look, I wasn't trying to overreact but I definately have got to stop trying to force things that are out of my control. I won't send the letter. If and when you want to talk. You know how to get ahold of me. Have a good summer. " I don't know how reverse this kind of damage, she hasn't been reasonable and yet I love her to death and having known her or so long at one point she came around and admitted alot of mistakes. But, the fact is she didn't say No, I'm done etc. etc. Just didn't want to hear from me while she gets things sorted. I have no clue, but, until further notice I'm treating it like it's over and if I hear from her I'm not going to be eager or anything. So frustrating, girls go into crazy phases with all the "confused" bs, and I played right into this bull****. I want to be done but I still hope she comes around. Edited May 15, 2011 by EgoJoe
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