little_bear Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 Last night I was out with a group of coworkers. I've been told one of my coworkers (Steve) is in love with me but I don't return the feeling. I was dancing with a guy for a while and Steve was giving me dirty looks the whole time. Me and the guy parted ways and Steve came up and punched me in the face. Not hard but hard enough. I got upset and he slapped me. None of my friends seemed to think this was a problem. I went outside and some guy started talking to me and one of my friends (we had lost everyone else). A few minutes later I spotted everyone and my friend pulled the random guy along with us. More dirty looks from Steve. I walked away from the guy and another guy started talking to me. Steve comes up to me and begins slapping me in the face multiple times and then he shoved me so hard that I heard my neck crack. I was really upset by this and there were so many people around but no one did anything. I said I'm getting the hell out of here and left. I'm in complete shock over this!!!!! Plus I'm worried about my neck. It cracked twice pretty hard. I'm a small girl and Steve is a big guy. He shoved me into a brick wall sideways.
freestyle Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 Move district. Or press charges. Or both. And get a restraining order........... Take some self-defense courses. And hang out with friends who will have your back.
silvermane187 Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 wtf?! call the cops and get some witnesses. scumbag steve should end up in jail for that.
OldSkool Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 This is why we have guns in America. No one ever raped/assaulted a .38
samsungxoxo Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 I'm surprised no one did anything. If it was my ex BF seeing this, he would have beat Steve to a pulp. There is two things you can do, one that is the correct and other is how I would have handle it. 1) Report this to the cops... make sure he gets his behind thrown in jail 2) Kick/knee him right in his nuts... then when he's down continue kicking him some more.. then report it to the cops.
Tayla Posted April 30, 2011 Posted April 30, 2011 A friend of mine gave wonderful advice, "Its all in the details, if some things are missed, your accessment will be off" I sense we are not getting the full details of all parties, therefore I am reserving conclusion. Will say this from a standard way of living, restrain in physical matters and keep ones hands to themselves during bouts.
Author little_bear Posted April 30, 2011 Author Posted April 30, 2011 Thats pretty much the full details. I'm not sure what exactly you are looking for.
Irishlove Posted May 1, 2011 Posted May 1, 2011 Call the cops and file a restraining order. He will be arrested. Even if you were running your mouth he should not hit a girl. Take a lesson and learn to not say anything in a group of guys either. You are very lucky you are not dead.
D-Lish Posted May 1, 2011 Posted May 1, 2011 For some reason, in male on male relationships, physical abuse isn't something that is addressed or taken seriously. I used to work with 2 gay wedding planners that were a couple- when they had an argument, it often ended up in a physical fight. I witnessed one of those fights and it was rough and horrible and so violent. the next day they would try and justify it to me that they were "guys", and given the level of testosterone and natural inclination to solve everything with violence- that's just how gay men act in relationships. It shocked me- both what I saw, and how they justified it afterward. Like punching someone and being out of control was 'okay" because they were men, and that's how men solve things. It's so not okay. This guy is an out of control ticking time bomb. Imagine if this was a straight man and woman, and a guy punched out a girl he liked in a jealous rage? The guy would go to jail for a long time, everyone would be outraged, and someone would have stepped in. Why is this any different for you? Press charges. Just because you are two men doesn't make this situation different.
Tayla Posted May 1, 2011 Posted May 1, 2011 Thats pretty much the full details. I'm not sure what exactly you are looking for. A catalyst needs to be involved which was not identified in the post. Nor do we have the offenders side of the matter. As much as I detest violent behavior there has got to be more to the story then what was written. Most violent hehavior requires a motivation to incur. People just don't randomly go up to someone and pop them one. THere was trigger that created it. A comment, a nasty look, a previous attempt...who knows, its not clear in the post.
Art_Critic Posted May 1, 2011 Posted May 1, 2011 ahhhhh.. how about he was dancing with someone.. Trigger.... Jealousy.. he is in love with him.. Tayla.. why the need to make the person who is abused feel that they contributed to it ? Nobody ever deserves to be punched or slapped.. nobody..
thehead Posted May 1, 2011 Posted May 1, 2011 How did this become a gay thing? it says "im a small girl and steve's a big guy." I hope you press charges.
Eve Posted May 1, 2011 Posted May 1, 2011 Hope you decided to go to the Police. Can't imagine what it would be like to have to work with someone who attacked me, twice. Take care, Eve x
D-Lish Posted May 1, 2011 Posted May 1, 2011 My bad earlier- I read "guy" instead of girl. Knowing it's a straight guy on girl interaction doesn't change things- SHE needs to call the cops. I'm surprised no one intervened- heck I'm a girl and I would have intervened without regard for my own safety. Can't believe no one came to her rescue in a public place- what is the world coming to?
SxB Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 Last night I was out with a group of coworkers. I've been told one of my coworkers (Steve) is in love with me but I don't return the feeling. I was dancing with a guy for a while and Steve was giving me dirty looks the whole time. Me and the guy parted ways and Steve came up and punched me in the face. Not hard but hard enough. I got upset and he slapped me. None of my friends seemed to think this was a problem. I went outside and some guy started talking to me and one of my friends (we had lost everyone else). A few minutes later I spotted everyone and my friend pulled the random guy along with us. More dirty looks from Steve. I walked away from the guy and another guy started talking to me. Steve comes up to me and begins slapping me in the face multiple times and then he shoved me so hard that I heard my neck crack. I was really upset by this and there were so many people around but no one did anything. I said I'm getting the hell out of here and left. I'm in complete shock over this!!!!! Plus I'm worried about my neck. It cracked twice pretty hard. I'm a small girl and Steve is a big guy. He shoved me into a brick wall sideways. I know it's hard but whatever you do don't feel weak you can't control the actions of others you can only control how you will deal with it. If some one gets into a fight the person who loses isn't a sissy, the person who thinks they have to always win is, we can't take on every person, we can only give it our best shot and stand our grounds to the end and that's all that matters. Besides that he was a coward and any real person wouldn't do that, he's spineless and arrogant which has nothing to do with real power. Learn from this experience. And as others already stated 1. Restraining order, and 2. Martial Arts (start with ground Martial Arts skip the Krav Maga stuff for now). Meanwhile if you already don't-- I highly suggest carrying around pepperspray (you're going to want to go for Inferno by Coldsteel because that stuff is meaner than Hell). I also recommend picking up a selfdense bat made by coldsteel to place in your trunk and home if it's legal where you are at, they are very handy selfdefense tools which you can use when the time comes like Drew Barrymore did to Rob Schnieder in 50 First Dates One thing I wouldn't recommend is stun guns because they are too lethal, and you also don't know some ones health conditions. Anyway, you will survive, good luck with this. In time it won't be a big deal.
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OldSkool Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 A catalyst needs to be involved which was not identified in the post. Nor do we have the offenders side of the matter. As much as I detest violent behavior there has got to be more to the story then what was written. Most violent hehavior requires a motivation to incur. People just don't randomly go up to someone and pop them one. THere was trigger that created it. A comment, a nasty look, a previous attempt...who knows, its not clear in the post. There is NO EXCUSE for a man to hit a woman. Period! I don't care what the so called catalyst is. Hell, she could be a raging b**** to him and if he can't just walk away, then he is not a man at all. Stop trying to excuse the inexcuseable.
ShatteredReality Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 (edited) File charges against him. Get signed witness reports. Go to the Dr about that neck of yours and have photos of your bruises if there are any. When you see the Dr do it under third party liability and nab him with a civil suit for the costs of your MD visits. Likely he will think twice about losing his temper again in that fashion. Make sure one of the stipulations besides paying the medical bills you may incur as a result is anger management. Keep a restraining order in effect for at least 18 mo after the court dates. Edit for clarification: I am not saying take him to the cleaners. I don't know about Canada, but in the US Civil suites have a limit on how much you can sue for. I am not suggesting you try to get more out of him "just because you can". Not at all...just what is owed - medical expenses - but more importantly a court order to get some help. Edited May 6, 2011 by ShatteredReality clarification
Mimolicious Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 Either get yourself one of these Russian mofos... "speculumsphcrroiagen" or file charges!!!!!!!!!!! How could you let such a behavior slide? Like another poster said, my exBF would have def kicked this dude's arse! Shoot! even me! Men like that sometimes get resistance from a woman and they fold and cry.
reservoirdog1 Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 Last night I was out with a group of coworkers. I've been told one of my coworkers (Steve) is in love with me but I don't return the feeling. I was dancing with a guy for a while and Steve was giving me dirty looks the whole time. Me and the guy parted ways and Steve came up and punched me in the face. Not hard but hard enough. I got upset and he slapped me. None of my friends seemed to think this was a problem. I went outside and some guy started talking to me and one of my friends (we had lost everyone else). A few minutes later I spotted everyone and my friend pulled the random guy along with us. More dirty looks from Steve. I walked away from the guy and another guy started talking to me. Steve comes up to me and begins slapping me in the face multiple times and then he shoved me so hard that I heard my neck crack. I was really upset by this and there were so many people around but no one did anything. I said I'm getting the hell out of here and left. I'm in complete shock over this!!!!! Plus I'm worried about my neck. It cracked twice pretty hard. I'm a small girl and Steve is a big guy. He shoved me into a brick wall sideways. Hopefully you realize that this cockroach who you refer to as a "friend" is, in fact, a thuggish violent bully with anger management issues. And I have no clue what's wrong with the rest of your friends that they didn't intervene, but JESUS... Tell the cops, yes. Plus, tell your parents. And your brother, if you have one. Because (a) you need people who are completely on your side, and (b) because, hopefully, your father and/or brother will take it upon themselves to pay the cockroach a little visit. I'm the father of a daughter. And if any guy ever does that to her, he'll wish he'd died as a child.
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