DontWorryBHappy Posted April 24, 2011 Posted April 24, 2011 Brief back story: My ex broke up with me two days ago (relationship lasted 7 months). Throughout the relationship he was always more religious than me (Christian) and that was sometimes an issue between us. I'm just mentioning that part because it will be important later. Anyway, things were good between us (so I thought) so I was shocked when he suddenly blurted out that he didn't feel he could be in a relationship anymore. He said his heart wasn't in it, and he didn't feel mature enough. Ironically, literally just before the break up I had met with a nice lady and her daughter and they encouraged me to take a leap of faith and commit to God. I still had some doubt, but I decided to take that leap of faith. Right before my ex and I parted I told him it was ironic that just before this I had given myself to God. He said, "Because of me?" and I said "No, despite you. I plan to continue on this journey regardless of you." He was cold toward me, barely able to look at me, arms crossed at his chest. And he said he didn't love me. I was heartbroken. And now, what happened today: Today I received a missed call on my phone from my ex at around 10:15 in the morning. No clue why he was calling me, and didn't want to find out. After that I was invited to church with the people I had talked to about God with the other day, and I agreed. I was reluctant because it was the same church that my ex goes to, but I figured I'd just stick with the people I was with. While I was at the service I spotted my ex come in. He didn't see that I was there. Now, here's where it gets interesting.... During the service suddenly they got to the topic of the day, which was doubting a belief in God, and how people can overcome it. The pastor was one of the people I knew from my conversations the other day with the people I was with, and he mentioned me in the service. He said, "The other day my wife spoke with a person about their own doubts. And as they spoke, her doubts started to fade away. I'm proud to say she is here with us today. [My name] is a believer!". In that moment everyone in the church started clapping, and I couldnt believe that my ex had just heard that whole thing! The service ended and I went outside to eat the food and talk with people. Suddenly as I'm talking with some people I feel a tap on my shoulder and it was my ex. He asked if he could talk to me for a moment so I walked a few steps away from the other people with him. He was acting all cheery and said, "What's up?" and I said "What do you want?" sternly and his smile faded a bit. He blurted out, "I wanted to know if there's anything still between us." I told him I dont think this is a good place to talk about this and said that I was just planning on throwing some of his things in front of his door. He was like "So, we can talk about this later" and I said "Uhhhm .. suuure... I have some things to do so I have to go now.." He said "Ok we'll talk later" then he left. I'm planning to totally ignore him when he calls. Good plan?
Author DontWorryBHappy Posted April 25, 2011 Author Posted April 25, 2011 Feeling weak right now. And it's all because of what happened today. Before I was just sad, but now I'm sad AND feeling weak. He called today at around 6pm and I just watched the phone ring. I planned on ignoring the call... when he asked me today if there was still anything between us the question felt rushed and somehow not presented in a sincere, thought out way. I felt like I needed to protect myself from being played around with, if that's what's happening here. And I guess I didn't feel ready to talk to him. I still don't know if I do.... but somehow now I feel weird about not answering the phone. I guess because I still care about him. And because I led him to believe we would talk later (though I didn't say that meant today). I suppose I also feel like if he cares about me at all, he'll be willing to work a little bit harder to reach me, and if he doesn't, I won't hear from him again. Really upset that I'm in this position now. Just going to try and not think about it.
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