CrazyMiner Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 (edited) Hi everyone! This is a NC letter that I am planning to hand write to my ex GF who I was with for 8 years. If you haven't read the story of all this you can find it here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t273391/ I know now after a period of 5 - 6 weeks of being broken up we do need to have time apart, as at the moment we are meeting every 10 - 14 days for a catch up and I think that she is starting to feel a bit nervous meetings. I want to keep the door open for a second chance down the line but only after we have both healed and become the new me and the new her. Let me know if I am hitting the right sort of spots: Hi Faith, I hope everything is going alright with your granddads recovery and that he remembered to eat his grapes! We were together for 8 years. Although we had some pretty tough times, we also had some fantastic ones. We grew up together, going from high school to University and then into our careers. We travelled, lived in some wonderful houses and apartments, and even got to stay a few times in a suite at the Waldorf Hilton! But, something is wrong. I hope you know that I don’t blame you for the break up. Yes, it was a shock when you told me, but slowly I’m coming round to understanding all the reasons why. I agree, I think we became broken. We had trust issues which never really went away, and we became a bit stagnant / comfy. I want you to know how proud I am of you – you’ve been enjoying yourself and starting to find out who you are as you rather than us, as we always were. I think it’s great that you’ve got these amazing friends to fall back on who have made things a lot easier for you by not bringing up the break up etc, and are getting back in contact with people you haven’t spoken to for a while... what a blast from the past! In a way I want to thank you as well for making the brave move to make us separate... if I was observant enough I should have seen what was happening and not let you have to stress over finally telling me as you did and make that sort of move myself. I’m socialising a hell of a lot more; I’m starting to create a proper circle of acquaintances which are turning to friends which I is something that I’ve never really pursued previously, and I’m certainly finding that I don’t have to rely on blonde haired Ben for my sole social interaction anymore! I’ve found a badminton partner, signed up to a touch Rugby league and a team (after speaking to the guy I found out that it’s actually the Didsbury RFC, ironic huh?), and started running which is really allowing me to try new things and just enjoy life a bit more! This next part is very hard for me to say, but as much as I love spending time with you and can’t imagine not having you in my life in some capacity, I think, to help both our healing processes, that we should try a proper period of not meeting and only really talking to discuss ‘business’ things like the house. You know how much I care for you, but for both our sakes I feel that it is needed and I hope that you understand where I am coming from with my, albeit rather scattered looking, thought process. The last thing I would ever want is for you or I to feel suffocated when we are trying to be friends, and I feel that without a proper period of time where we’ve taken a further step away from each other this is starting to happen, though correct me if I am wrong. I truly believe that it will be a positive and healthy move for the both of us, the chances of us being ‘super friends’ or even anything more in the future will potentially be marked with the ‘old us’ and our problems rather than allowing us to be the new Faith, and the new Phil, and seeing what happens from there. We will still have to speak from time to time, but during this period of no face to face contact this can be over the phone or by email. Do remember though that if there are ever any real problems or emergencies that I will always be there to answer the phone if things go pear shaped! Please excuse the fact that this has been delivered via your mum, think of it as a sort of Royal Faith postal service. I’ve always thought there is something quite quaint and special about hand written letters, and it allows me to get it all across in a succinct manner and lets you read it over at your leisure. I would have posted it to Cleveleys but I know your Nan opens your mail and I didn’t think it would be the best thing for her to be reading at the moment! It is almost finished, I'm just trying to work out the end bit. Thoughts please! Edited April 14, 2011 by CrazyMiner Link to post Share on other sites
andrew-bkk Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 I want you to know how proud I am of you – you’ve been enjoying yourself and starting to find out who you are as you rather than us, as we always were. I think it’s great that you’ve got these amazing friends to fall back on who have made things a lot easier for you by not bringing up the break up etc, and are getting back in contact with people you haven’t spoken to for a while... what a blast from the past! Do NOT send that letter. If you want to go NC, go NC. There is no need to tell HER about it. It makes you look weak. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CrazyMiner Posted April 14, 2011 Author Share Posted April 14, 2011 Do NOT send that letter. If you want to go NC, go NC. There is no need to tell HER about it. It makes you look weak. Hi Andrew, Not sure if you read my original thread but we do still have some ties, such as a house which I am looking to rent out or, as a last resort, sell. Personally, I want the NC to be amicable, and saw this as a way of achieving this. Also, we have a catch up arranged in a week or so and this letter would address those meets, at the moment at least. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CrazyMiner Posted April 14, 2011 Author Share Posted April 14, 2011 Anyone else have any thoughts on the above? I'm hoping that, in a way, she will smile when she reads this, if you know what I mean, and remember the good memories rather than the bad. Link to post Share on other sites
poorguy Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 DO NOT SEND THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It seems rational and well thought out to you but it just won't come off that way trust me. If it would help anything I'd be the first one to endorse it, but it just won't Link to post Share on other sites
silvermane187 Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 Burn it. Trust me it will do more harm than good at this point. I wish I never sent the similar letters that I did. Link to post Share on other sites
Tasha49 Posted April 15, 2011 Share Posted April 15, 2011 I would not send it either. It is wayyyy too long. It shows that you are putting way too much care and effort into it. There are too many sidetrails and you are all over the place in it. If you send one at all... keep it short and straight to the point (without being a dick). Link to post Share on other sites
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