The "I Dumped My Partner Because I had G.I.G.S." Thread

[mmiller5373]

I created this so we could have a thread to give information about the mindset a person with G.I.G.S. goes through. I don't want this to be a thread about the Dumpees, but more of a place for Dumpers to discuss what they went through before, during, and after the breakup. Only post here if you dumped somebody and later realized it was because you had G.I.G.S.

 

What made you decide to end the long-term relationship?

How did you end it?

Emotionally, what were you going through? Before? During? After?

How long did it take you to realize the grass wasn't greener?

Was it too late? Had your ex moved on?

 

Answer questions like that. Users like homebrew have already created a great information haven about what G.I.G.S. actually is:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t251986/

[homebrew]

I ENDED A 5 YEAR RELATIONSHIP DUE TO G.I.G.S.

 

Met the most amazing girl when I was 19, we fell madly in love with one another. I cared very deeply for her. We did everything together and enjoyed each other's company. We were best friends that shared and knew everything about each other. We grew up together. She was beautiful, smart and funny. Out of everyone I ever dated, she is by far the best person, best lover, best friend I have ever known.

 

I ended the relationship due to G.I.G.S. when I was 24 years old, I am now 38.

 

My feelings for her, what she means to me, how wonderful I think she is, my attraction to her have not changed. They did not change before the break up, during the break up and 14 years after the break up. To this day, I still think about her, I still wonder how she is doing, things still remind me of her. I still miss things about her and our relationship. I wonder if she feels the same.

 

I was happy in the relationship, we were madly in love and talked about getting married. There were no problems or issues with her or the relationship whatsoever. Everything I always wanted and dreamed of in a girl / relationship was there. I had a great job and a promising career ahead of me. I had friends a wonder family. You could say, at that point in my life, I had everything I wanted and needed.

 

Around the age of 23 (a year before the break up), I felt something was missing, something I needed to do, something that I needed to prove to myself. I didn't know what that was, I couldn't put my finger on it. I thought about it and struggled with it for a year.

 

At the age of 24, I broke up with my girlfriend who I had dated for 5 wonderful years. I finally came to the conclusion that I needed to figure out what it was I wanted and needed for my life. I did not think or feel that I could do that while I was in a committed relationship. I did not think it was fair to her if I stayed and continued in the relationship. My heart was broken (due to the hurt I put her through) before the break up, during the break up and after the break up. In fact, I felt bad about breaking her heart for years after the relationship ended. After the break up, I was worried about how she was doing, was she happy, was she going to forgive me for hurting her. It was a very difficult to break up with her and even harder letting go. However, I thought I was doing what was in my best interest and in a way hers.

 

Now fast forward 3 years later, I am now 27. Between that time, I traveled, climbed the corporate ladder, made new friends, partying, etc. I also dated a great deal and also had a long term relationship. I had a good time and experience! Throughout that time, I still thought of my ex, missed her and wondered how she was doing.

 

I was starting to get tired of the single life, I just did not get as much enjoyment out of it as I once did. I started to think more and more about my ex, started to think how happy I was when I was with her, I started to think even more about what life would be like with her (I was already doing this after the break up), I was looking around and it was plain to me that nobody I had dated or met up that point compared to her. I started talking to my friends and family about her and if I should pursue her again, I couldn't stop myself... Thoughts of her and I were consuming me.

 

One day I woke up, I woke up and thought to myself. I have to make that girl mine! I couldn't imagine going through life another day without her! I had to have her!

 

So what did you think I did?

 

I went and tracked her down (Before the internet) and started calling her. I couldn't wait for to see her and be reunited with her. Nothing on this earth could have made me happier. It took a while (days and days of phone calls and leaving voicemails) to finally convince her to go have lunch with me. I was so excited! I could not contain myself, I was telling anyone who would like that I was going to be going on a date with the most amazing, beautiful girl in the world!

 

So what happened?

 

We did not work out because she had already fallen in love with someone and had just gotten engaged. She is very happily married and they have 3 wonderful kids together. We still talk and get together every couple of years and it is great to catch up with her and see what is going on in her life.

[mmiller5373]

Excellent post, homebrew... As always. I'm hoping this thread can turn out to be a source for dumpees to go to so they can better understand what their ex with G.I.G.S. was going through.