thatdog Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 So my fiance and I have been going through some difficulties lately (since early feb). Things started to get really bad 3 weeks ago when she stopped paying any attention to me at all and started staying out late after work and going out weekends really late without me (something I have always let her do on occasion for 'girls nights' but not with this frequency). We had our first massive blowup fight 2 weeks ago when she was supposed to meet me in town after work and left me waiting 45 min on the side of the road so she could have a drink with her coworkers. The at the end of our night out started texting friends and said she knew i was upset about her being late so she thought it was best if i go home alone to cool down while she stayed out and met up with friends. This started our one and only massive fight in the middle of town. Since then we talked and agreed that we were having problems and needed to spend more time together to try and fix things. She has been good with me but when she goes to her workplace she ends up drinking till late and ignoring my calls/texts. I confronted her about this and asked if there was something going on, if there was someone else. She vehemently denied this and calmed me down and convinced me that i was being crazy and that she just needed some time away from me sometimes (we've lived together 2+years) to have fun and assess her feelings but there was NO ONE ELSE. This morning I had a moment of weakness and checked her phone while she was in the shower. On it i found a few recent texts with a friend teasing her about a romance with her co-worker. I freaked out and confronted her about it immediately. Her first reaction was to be angry that i betrayed her trust by digging through her phone. Then she told me she didn't tell me because of a- she didn't want to hurt me and b- it was irrelevant to our relationship because she didn't like him, had never cheated on me with him and never would. When I pushed firther she said that she had developed some feelings for the guy but didnt tell me because she didn't know what i meant and wouldn't leave me for him anyway. But she didn't know how to address these feelings and was worried that if she had them for someone now she might have them for someone else again further down the track when we were married and she didn't know what to do. When i pushed more she said she liked him for about a month but had decided last week that she didn't have any serious feelings for him so it didn't matter and wouldn't affect our relationship. I had to point out to her that while she might have started to feel unhappy a little earlier. every major problem has come up for us in the past month and all of our fights have essentially been about her secretly trying to spend time with this guy at my expense so obviously this has had a major impact on us as a couple. I told her that this is what was called an emotional affair and completely inappropriate. She said she had never heard of that concept before and thought what she was doing was ok because she didn't do anything physical with him and supposedly never spent any 1 on 1 time with him besides walking home from work together sometimes. She apologized but still seemed angry that I told her that I don't want her spending any social time with this guy until we either fix the issues in our relationship or break up. What do you guys think? Is she telling the truth about this guy now or just trying to do damage control? should I believe that she really didn't know this was the wrong way to go about things and she won't do it again? Also I told her that I thought it was normal that sometimes in a longterm committed relationship you might start to feel an attraction to other people especially if there are some difficulties at home, but a person who still loves their partner and wants that LTR to work would address that issue immediately by trying to distance themselves from the new guy/girl. Am I right in assuming that this is a normal problem and sound advice or should any attraction to another person be a much stronger signal that the relationship is over?
reservoirdog1 Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 There's big red flags here, IMHO. Firstly, it's classic cheaterspeak to express indignation and outrage when their partner has checked their email, phone, etc. and found something suspicious. Think about it -- if she had nothing to hide, and if she REALLY thought there was nothing wrong with what she was doing, why would she have been so indignant? It's called blameshifting -- the cheater tries to make it not about their crappy behaviour, but about the betrayed partner's breach of their privacy. They find a way to turn it back on the person they've betrayed, to re-focus the attention away from them and their own actions. Secondly, it's highly troubling that the only way you found out about any of this is that you caught her. The only way you found out at all was by looking at her phone, and when you first called her out on it, she lied and said she didn't like the guy. You only got more information and the admission of her "feelings" for him when you pushed further. I.e., she didn't volunteer anything -- you got it out of her. This leads to the conclusion that more went on with this guy than you're currently aware of, and that she's only telling you as much as she figures she has to tell you to get you off her case about it. Tread carefully... something's fishy here.
WorldIsYours Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 I concur with the others. She cheated, she's being unremorseful, disrespecting you and not telling you everything. Whatever you do, DO NOT marry this woman. That will be the one of the most worst decisions in your life. Call off the engagement if you have to. She knows what she did was wrong, she's just doing damage-control.
Author thatdog Posted March 25, 2011 Author Posted March 25, 2011 Thanks guys. It's just so hard for me to make sense of it as he have been together for so long and been happy the whole time. like he have literally had maybe 4-5 fights total over 3 years and until this started were happily in love, texting/calling each other from work every day, calling each other constantly when either of us had to go out of town. Another question. The friend that she was texting about this is a mutual friend that I have known for several years (though being a girl she is obviously more friends with my partner than me). Is it reasonable for me to call her and ask what is up and ask her if she knows any more? If I do; given that we are supposed to be friends also, what ar ethe chances she would just lie to me as well? Or should i not try cos it might be considered 'stalking' behaviour?
WorldIsYours Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 Thanks guys. It's just so hard for me to make sense of it as he have been together for so long and been happy the whole time. like he have literally had maybe 4-5 fights total over 3 years and until this started were happily in love, texting/calling each other from work every day, calling each other constantly when either of us had to go out of town. Another question. The friend that she was texting about this is a mutual friend that I have known for several years (though being a girl she is obviously more friends with my partner than me). Is it reasonable for me to call her and ask what is up and ask her if she knows any more? If I do; given that we are supposed to be friends also, what ar ethe chances she would just lie to me as well? Or should i not try cos it might be considered 'stalking' behaviour? No point in talking to her friend. She'll lie or say whatever to keep the truth from you. She's there to support your fiance's selfish behavior, not you. Plus you already have enough evidence to know that this woman is not the one, no matter how much of a good time you had with her. She threw it all all away when she became selfish and cheated on you and left you on the side of the road. The type of woman who's that heartless, is someone you don't need to marry.
PorkRinds Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 You have been given the precious gift of truth, thankfully before you made the final step. Delete this person entirely from you life, put her behind you, waste not a tear or any more effort. Just be thankful you found out before rather than after the wedding. Nothing is worse than finding out your groomsmen have been running a train on your blushing bride.
Bryanp Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 You would have to be seriously out of your mind to even think about marrying this person. She has no problem lying to your fact and at the very least being involved in an emotional affair with another man. This is all the while when you are engaged. You are seeing what your future will be with this person. If the roles were reversed she would not accept such humiliation and disrespect from you. If you do not respect yourself then who will?
Author thatdog Posted March 25, 2011 Author Posted March 25, 2011 No point in talking to her friend. She'll lie or say whatever to keep the truth from you. She's there to support your fiance's selfish behavior, not you. actually cruising around fb and stuff I noticed that her friend has a serious bf. The texts I found also made mention of her situation and doing some wholly inappropriate things as well. Perhaps I should threaten to tell her bf what she's been up to if she doesn;t give me the whole truth? or maybe I should just warn her bf anyway so he doesn't keep getting ****ed over the way i seem to have been.
WorldIsYours Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 actually cruising around fb and stuff I noticed that her friend has a serious bf. The texts I found also made mention of her situation and doing some wholly inappropriate things as well. Perhaps I should threaten to tell her bf what she's been up to if she doesn;t give me the whole truth? or maybe I should just warn her bf anyway so he doesn't keep getting ****ed over the way i seem to have been. No point in threatening her. That'll most likely make her hold her stance on not telling you and continuing to be a hoe with your fiance. If you have a way to contact him then do it. He doesn't deserve it either. Do you have evidence you can show to him that his girl has been doing some inappropriate things also? Because he may not believe you at first. If you don't I would still tell him what you told us, because sooner or later the doubt will get to him and he'll question his girl when he sees the red flags bouncing off of her.
Author thatdog Posted March 25, 2011 Author Posted March 25, 2011 No i don't I just read the text messages between her and my fiance. I didn't have the time or forethought to forward them to my own phone. I don't have his number but we have lots of mutual friends so i should be able to get it pretty easily
WorldIsYours Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 No i don't I just read the text messages between her and my fiance. I didn't have the time or forethought to forward them to my own phone. I don't have his number but we have lots of mutual friends so i should be able to get it pretty easily Okay that's good. But for now just focus on protecting yourself because very soon your fiance will try to manipulate you. She'll come at you with all sorts of tactics to fool you into thinking she cares about you and the relationship. There's no excuse for her cheating, whether you guys were having some problems or not. Just remember she decided to cheat herself, and whatever attraction she has to that idiot will not last long.
Eddie Edirol Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 Your fiance has just begun to emotionally cfheat on you if not more, you need to find out what you did to send her to this guy. If you have to retrace your steps and conversations, maybe you were too controlling for her tastes when she wasnt answering your calls. Whatever it is, you either have to dig for evidence, or push her more to find out why she is bailing out on you so you dont make that mistake again.
Author thatdog Posted March 25, 2011 Author Posted March 25, 2011 I've tried doing that Eddie. It seems the biggest thing i did was give her too much space. She said she wanted to go out dancing and drinking with her girlfriends sometimes and I supported her and said I thought that was fine (so long as she didn't do it too often) and we should have a bit of freedom outside our relationship. but she's been doing it more and more and I didn't try hard enough to reign it in. then when she started the job at this restaurant she was miserable all the time cos everyone else there seemsed to be friends but she had no connection to them cos she just came home straight from work every night to see me. I knew she was unhappy so i ENCOURAGED her to spend a little time after work staying for dinner or work drinks every now and then so she could make friends with her coworkers and feel more comfortable at work. Obviously thaty hasn't worked out oo well for me though...
jnj express Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 Hey TD---you seem to have a weird idea of what a relationship means/is If you wanna be single you go out with your friends---you go drinking and dancing You are in a committed relationship, so committed that it is as fiancee's, like next to mge------marrieds--DO NOT GO OUT DRINKING AND DANCING---their SOCIAL LIFE is spent with their partner----it is not spent with single's of the oppo. sex You had better either get your definition of mge/relationship straight, or you are in for one very miserable life Your fiancee---should not have been ALLOWED to go drinking and dancing on her own----she can go out with her GF's, to a movie, to dinner, to lunch, things like that---the rest of the time is to be spent with you----and if you can't grab that concept and make it yours---then PLEASE do not get married It seems as if your fiance doesn't wanna be controlled and told what kind of social life she can live---so the 2 of you need to have a very serious talk, about where the 2 of you are REALLY at---and whether you really do even wanna be engaged----cuz your fiance BY HER ACTIONS doesn't consider herself engaged As to her BS about not thinking she was having an A.---is she so stupidly immature that she doesn't know spending time with single's of the opposite sex is an A.---if she is in a committed relationship----she wasn't just dropped on this planet---right now your fiance is slicing, and dicing you
PorkRinds Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 No i don't I just read the text messages between her and my fiance. I didn't have the time or forethought to forward them to my own phone. I don't have his number but we have lots of mutual friends so i should be able to get it pretty easily Stop it. Just delete her. Completely, immediately. She is gangrene on your life and needs to be cleanly amputated with no regrets or this will entirely consume you and you will wasted years of your life and screw yourself up. This is not your fault. She's just a bad apple. The purpose of the engagement period is to give you time to see if this person is actually worthy of marriage. She's not. End it. End it.
Memphis Raines Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 thatdog. DO NOT MARRY THIS GIRL!! she has to be a real moron to not know what she did was wrong. if you marry her, that will be her excuse in the future.
hoping2heal Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 So my fiance and I have been going through some difficulties lately (since early feb). Things started to get really bad 3 weeks ago when she stopped paying any attention to me at all and started staying out late after work and going out weekends really late without me (something I have always let her do on occasion for 'girls nights' but not with this frequency). We had our first massive blowup fight 2 weeks ago when she was supposed to meet me in town after work and left me waiting 45 min on the side of the road so she could have a drink with her coworkers. The at the end of our night out started texting friends and said she knew i was upset about her being late so she thought it was best if i go home alone to cool down while she stayed out and met up with friends. This started our one and only massive fight in the middle of town. Since then we talked and agreed that we were having problems and needed to spend more time together to try and fix things. She has been good with me but when she goes to her workplace she ends up drinking till late and ignoring my calls/texts. I confronted her about this and asked if there was something going on, if there was someone else. She vehemently denied this and calmed me down and convinced me that i was being crazy and that she just needed some time away from me sometimes (we've lived together 2+years) to have fun and assess her feelings but there was NO ONE ELSE. This morning I had a moment of weakness and checked her phone while she was in the shower. On it i found a few recent texts with a friend teasing her about a romance with her co-worker. I freaked out and confronted her about it immediately. Her first reaction was to be angry that i betrayed her trust by digging through her phone. Then she told me she didn't tell me because of a- she didn't want to hurt me and b- it was irrelevant to our relationship because she didn't like him, had never cheated on me with him and never would. When I pushed firther she said that she had developed some feelings for the guy but didnt tell me because she didn't know what i meant and wouldn't leave me for him anyway. But she didn't know how to address these feelings and was worried that if she had them for someone now she might have them for someone else again further down the track when we were married and she didn't know what to do. When i pushed more she said she liked him for about a month but had decided last week that she didn't have any serious feelings for him so it didn't matter and wouldn't affect our relationship. I had to point out to her that while she might have started to feel unhappy a little earlier. every major problem has come up for us in the past month and all of our fights have essentially been about her secretly trying to spend time with this guy at my expense so obviously this has had a major impact on us as a couple. I told her that this is what was called an emotional affair and completely inappropriate. She said she had never heard of that concept before and thought what she was doing was ok because she didn't do anything physical with him and supposedly never spent any 1 on 1 time with him besides walking home from work together sometimes. She apologized but still seemed angry that I told her that I don't want her spending any social time with this guy until we either fix the issues in our relationship or break up. What do you guys think? Is she telling the truth about this guy now or just trying to do damage control? should I believe that she really didn't know this was the wrong way to go about things and she won't do it again? Also I told her that I thought it was normal that sometimes in a longterm committed relationship you might start to feel an attraction to other people especially if there are some difficulties at home, but a person who still loves their partner and wants that LTR to work would address that issue immediately by trying to distance themselves from the new guy/girl. Am I right in assuming that this is a normal problem and sound advice or should any attraction to another person be a much stronger signal that the relationship is over? TD, I think the writing is on the wall here. I agree with what others have said about you having to find this out via snooping because she was not honest with you. I think no matter what what was going on it is obviously inappropriate and she has been blowing you off and showing no consideration for you, for awhile. Quite frankly, that in itself should be of concern for you let alone the fact that we now know it is coupled with other issues. If she really does not know that having a relationship with another male when you are engaged to be married is wrong well..then I would have to dump her on two counts. The first being that, if you really do not know that is wrong..imagine how much other effed up and hurtful things you are going to do to me in the future because well, you apparently by admission do not even understand simple basic fidelity. The second count, would be I have to end things because stupidity is not a turn on for me. Of course, I think we both know she knows full well it is not appropriate, which is why it was hidden from you to begin with so you would not find out. She knows its wrong she just thinks you are the stupid one and that she can insult your intelligence by feeding you this crock of utter ***** and you are going to believe her. TD, Do not attempt to blackmail the friend. That is only going to make you look crazy. Also, just because you try to blackmail her does not mean you are going to get an honest answer either. If this girl is in a RS and being sneaky on the side..that is hardly the quality of person you are going to get the truth from. That said, with the way you have been treated by your fiance I think whether she effed the guy or not is irrelevant, because there are so many other reasons why marrying her is asking for trouble, pain, and stress. Do not blame yourself for her actions. She is a big girl, and she did all of this because she wanted too and she does not have the values to think otherwise. You did not have a say in it and really, who wants to have to babysit their spouse? If they do not know or care enough of their own accord to be honest, respectful, and not chasing after another man in a RS then really..what kind of a marriage would that be to begin with.
whichwayisup Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 Put the wedding on hold indefinately. Ask yourself if you want to start a new life off with someone who is capable of lying, cheating and betraying.
ver13 Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 IMO you know what you need to do deep down inside she has some stuff that she needs to work through like honesty etc... And you don't want to bethere while this is going on. Right now she is just your girlfriend but if you M her that wil change everything and you don't want to be with someone that doesn't realize what an EA is. You know that she has been acting way to strange to just chalk it up to pre-M jidders. I mean when she left you on the side of the road for almost and hour to continue drinking with her friends that told you where her priorities are.
Author thatdog Posted March 26, 2011 Author Posted March 26, 2011 Thanks for all the support guys. Sorry I haven;t been able to check my emotions enough to follow through with all of it. anyhow... We talked a lot last night and this morning. Our engagement is off but for the time being we are still going to stay together and see if we can fix this. She told me (hopefully) everything now, and it seems that this has actually been going on since the start of the year. Basically the same time or a little BEFORE things started to go wrong in our relationship. She has accepted all responsibility and is heartbroken about the rift she has caused between us. Said that as she has never been in a LTR before she has never experienced a situation where she has been in a relationship and had any spark of attraction for another person. She acknowledges that what she did was wrong, stupid and deceitful but she didn't know what to do when it started and her friends were encourging her to spend time with him for fun - side note i did have a massive 2 hr argument with her friend last night because she completely supported and justified what my fiancee was doing as 'ok' and 'harmless fun' that i was being crazy to blow out of proportion since she wasnt going to do anything physical and it's nice for girls to have cute guys pay attention to them. - supposedly noone actually expected them to get together or anything at first and it was just 'something to talk about'. But then once that had been going a while her feelings became stronger from spending so much time and having ppl talk to her about him all the time that she got confused and depressed at home cos the guilt was causing trouble with her feelings and responses t me. by this time they started feeling that she was unhappy at home and then started seriously encouraging her to hook up with him. this was about the point where she realised things were way messed up and started to withdraw from the situation and start focusising on us. but by then it had been going too long and she was too ashamed to admit anything to me. She has now agreed to delete him from her phone, not spend any more social time with him or anyone from that group for at least as long as it takes to work on us. WE will also start attending relationship counseling next week and she has offered to not go out drinking at all without meat least until we either fix things between us or decide that the situation is irreconcilable and go our separate ways. btw- I haven't had much response yet on what you guys think about the attraction thing. is it normal for people in ltrs to still sometimes meet people that they might like romantically and its just up to them what they do about it? I was talking to a friend about this yesterday and he told me that there was a girl at his work that was cute, funny and had heaps of stuff in common. he told me that whilst he never told his wife about her he didn't need to cos as soon as he discovered there might be an attraction he decided it was way to much ris to talk to her and as such has never spoken to her even in lunch breaks ever since and is thus completely comefortable and has no issues at all.
whammy Posted March 26, 2011 Posted March 26, 2011 (edited) Thanks for all the support guys. Sorry I haven;t been able to check my emotions enough to follow through with all of it. anyhow... We talked a lot last night and this morning. Our engagement is off but for the time being we are still going to stay together and see if we can fix this. She told me (hopefully) everything now, and it seems that this has actually been going on since the start of the year. Basically the same time or a little BEFORE things started to go wrong in our relationship. She has accepted all responsibility and is heartbroken about the rift she has caused between us. Said that as she has never been in a LTR before she has never experienced a situation where she has been in a relationship and had any spark of attraction for another person. She acknowledges that what she did was wrong, stupid and deceitful but she didn't know what to do when it started and her friends were encourging her to spend time with him for fun - side note i did have a massive 2 hr argument with her friend last night because she completely supported and justified what my fiancee was doing as 'ok' and 'harmless fun' that i was being crazy to blow out of proportion since she wasnt going to do anything physical and it's nice for girls to have cute guys pay attention to them. - supposedly noone actually expected them to get together or anything at first and it was just 'something to talk about'. But then once that had been going a while her feelings became stronger from spending so much time and having ppl talk to her about him all the time that she got confused and depressed at home cos the guilt was causing trouble with her feelings and responses t me. by this time they started feeling that she was unhappy at home and then started seriously encouraging her to hook up with him. this was about the point where she realised things were way messed up and started to withdraw from the situation and start focusising on us. but by then it had been going too long and she was too ashamed to admit anything to me. She has now agreed to delete him from her phone, not spend any more social time with him or anyone from that group for at least as long as it takes to work on us. WE will also start attending relationship counseling next week and she has offered to not go out drinking at all without meat least until we either fix things between us or decide that the situation is irreconcilable and go our separate ways. btw- I haven't had much response yet on what you guys think about the attraction thing. is it normal for people in ltrs to still sometimes meet people that they might like romantically and its just up to them what they do about it? I was talking to a friend about this yesterday and he told me that there was a girl at his work that was cute, funny and had heaps of stuff in common. he told me that whilst he never told his wife about her he didn't need to cos as soon as he discovered there might be an attraction he decided it was way to much ris to talk to her and as such has never spoken to her even in lunch breaks ever since and is thus completely comefortable and has no issues at all. there is a term for this, it is called "womanese." they spin stuff and use words and excuses to make everything ok. You fell for it. This will not end. When in the history of the world, has this story gone right? When has the girl just stopped? this story has been told 1000 times and it always ends up the same way. 5 months from now her phone is going to light up while she is in the shower and its going to be him and your going to realize that it never stopped. Your going to deal with this, and her friends, constantly for the rest of your life? Also a huge red flag for me... Her friend argued with you and said that your fiance should be able to be romantic with other men????!!! No girl would EVER say these things to a man that her friend was in love with (read that over and over ...think about it....her friend knows that she doesnt love you) Your holding on to memories and love with the girl you think she is or want her to be. "i didnt know I couldnt do that?" dont be a schmuck. Edited March 26, 2011 by whammy
Woman In Blue Posted March 26, 2011 Posted March 26, 2011 Gosh, she sure loves to blame her FRIENDS for her behavior, doesn't she? Her friends "supported and encouraged her to spend time with this other guy," did they? And if they "supported and encouraged her" to rob a bank or steal a car, would she do THAT, too? Lame. Tell her to own her sh*t and quit blaming her skank behavior on everyone ELSE. And for what it's worth, since she's such a blameshifter and liar, I'd bet the FARM you still haven't gotten the whole truth.
mark982 Posted March 26, 2011 Posted March 26, 2011 not only haven't you got the complete truth, but i think you just pushed her further underground. i'm not one for relationship counseling while your just dating or engaged. if you can't trust them while you have no legal ties time to move on.
WorldIsYours Posted March 26, 2011 Posted March 26, 2011 Thanks for all the support guys. Sorry I haven;t been able to check my emotions enough to follow through with all of it. anyhow... We talked a lot last night and this morning. Our engagement is off but for the time being we are still going to stay together and see if we can fix this. She told me (hopefully) everything now, and it seems that this has actually been going on since the start of the year. Basically the same time or a little BEFORE things started to go wrong in our relationship. She has accepted all responsibility and is heartbroken about the rift she has caused between us. Said that as she has never been in a LTR before she has never experienced a situation where she has been in a relationship and had any spark of attraction for another person. She acknowledges that what she did was wrong, stupid and deceitful but she didn't know what to do when it started and her friends were encourging her to spend time with him for fun - side note i did have a massive 2 hr argument with her friend last night because she completely supported and justified what my fiancee was doing as 'ok' and 'harmless fun' that i was being crazy to blow out of proportion since she wasnt going to do anything physical and it's nice for girls to have cute guys pay attention to them. - supposedly noone actually expected them to get together or anything at first and it was just 'something to talk about'. But then once that had been going a while her feelings became stronger from spending so much time and having ppl talk to her about him all the time that she got confused and depressed at home cos the guilt was causing trouble with her feelings and responses t me. by this time they started feeling that she was unhappy at home and then started seriously encouraging her to hook up with him. this was about the point where she realised things were way messed up and started to withdraw from the situation and start focusising on us. but by then it had been going too long and she was too ashamed to admit anything to me. She has now agreed to delete him from her phone, not spend any more social time with him or anyone from that group for at least as long as it takes to work on us. WE will also start attending relationship counseling next week and she has offered to not go out drinking at all without meat least until we either fix things between us or decide that the situation is irreconcilable and go our separate ways. btw- I haven't had much response yet on what you guys think about the attraction thing. is it normal for people in ltrs to still sometimes meet people that they might like romantically and its just up to them what they do about it? I was talking to a friend about this yesterday and he told me that there was a girl at his work that was cute, funny and had heaps of stuff in common. he told me that whilst he never told his wife about her he didn't need to cos as soon as he discovered there might be an attraction he decided it was way to much ris to talk to her and as such has never spoken to her even in lunch breaks ever since and is thus completely comefortable and has no issues at all. I told you her sidekick was going to defend her and that she's in the same league as your cheating girlfriend. Your girlfriend knew her behavior with that loser was inappropriate (when she said she didn't want to tell you because she knew it was wrong) so don't listen to her excuses because there is none. She now deleted him from her phone??? If she really cared she would've been done that. She's still lying to you and cheating dude. I bet my whole house she's still messing around with that guy, with her "friend" in the shadows encouraging her selfish behavior. It's fine to have attraction to others but to act on those urges while in a serious relationship is a big NO-NO. You need to cut her off completely. You got engaged with her to see if she's really the one and you now have your answer.
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