VIRALK Posted March 24, 2011 Posted March 24, 2011 This is going to be long, but I feel like I have to let this be known, heard. I'm tired of hurting. But I don't want to end this relationship. I love my Freedom (well, his name really isn't "Freedom", but to protect his privacy I will call him, "Freedom". I must note, however, that his name is just as strange as "Freedom", lol). I love my boyfriend. With all of my heart, unconditionally, really, well, I try my hardest. Like when with friends and he wants to spend some time with them instead of me, I will be okay knowing that he will lavish me with attention, as well. He's really sweet, if a little goofy. We're nerds and we're proud of it. We watch anime, play card games and play DND on Fridays. I try not to be jealous or whiny, but sometimes he gets to me. Like, after not seeing each other for a while for Spring Break, I was thrilled when I first saw him. As he saw me, I walked to him, happy. But when he looked at me he seemed unexcited. Did he not miss me? He didn't even kiss me. Freedom never kissed me on that day or today (which, I didn't even get to see him, at all until 9'oclock after his homework). And you know what he did? He preferred to perform a prank on another friend and avoided me until I nearly had to force a kiss on him, which he retracted from. The problem is, this is not the first time Freedom's done this to me. He would just drop from my world, close me out, and wordlessly cast me out like a demon. It stings when he does that, and it usually lasts for a week until the weekend, which is really the only time we can spend finally alone, together. His usual excuse is that he's busy or "thinking about things". And trust me, I'm an art student, I sometimes spend six hours or seven hours in an art studio after midnight, I know what that means. He's a computer science major, which is pretty heavy stuff and I know that it's hard, but the thing is, I would like to know when he's busy. I always tell him, "Well, I'm going to be at the art studio until twelve, tonight, hope you don't mind!" and he understands, I just wish he'd do the same. Usually, he's a sweetheart, when he first met me he used to text me all of the time. Now, he barely texts or chats with me at all. I don't know, I want to suggest maybe AIM so we can still have some time to talk, but I'm not so sure that Freedom will go for it.I'm not sure about anything, anymore. He's Native American and I'm black, I know this is random, but I also want to know if it's a cultural thing. He's a member of the Band of Choctaw Indians, specifically, so if there's anyone knowledge about this can someone please explain this to me so I can have a better understanding of it?He's my first true love, I lost my virginity to him, I'm always told that I might as well leave him, but I can't I know he's not this self-centered and I really hope that I'm not, either. If I am, I apologize and I hope that I can change that aspect. Either way, I'm hopelessly in love with him and even though he won't say it, I know he shows it.Basically, I want to know why is he being so distant toward me. What am I doing wrong? Is there really a reason why men do this sometimes? Or is it just him? Please help me.
elaina Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 This is going to be long, but I feel like I have to let this be known, heard. I'm tired of hurting. I'm sorry you're hurting. HUGS from a fellow person who has experienced hurt to another. But I don't want to end this relationship. I love my Freedom (well, his name really isn't "Freedom", but to protect his privacy I will call him, "Freedom". I must note, however, that his name is just as strange as "Freedom", lol). Cool, I think I'm going to call the guy I'm interested in "Freedom" too. I like that! I love my boyfriend. With all of my heart, unconditionally, really, well, I try my hardest. Like when with friends and he wants to spend some time with them instead of me, I will be okay knowing that he will lavish me with attention, as well. He's really sweet, if a little goofy. We're nerds and we're proud of it. We watch anime, play card games and play DND on Fridays. The problem is, this is not the first time Freedom's done this to me. He would just drop from my world, close me out, and wordlessly cast me out like a demon. I'm not quoting everything you wrote cause you did write a lot but yeah sometimes guys do this kind of thing. Sometimes it's hard to know the reason why. I think personally that sometimes guys need their "alone" time and also don't tend to think about things the same way as girls do. Maybe that's the case here? He's a member of the Band of Choctaw Indians, specifically, so if there's anyone knowledge about this can someone please explain this to me so I can have a better understanding of it?He's my first true love, I lost my virginity to him, I'm always told that I might as well leave him, but I can't I know he's not this self-centered and I really hope that I'm not, either. If I am, I apologize and I hope that I can change that aspect. Either way, I'm hopelessly in love with him and even though he won't say it, I know he shows it.Basically, I want to know why is he being so distant toward me. What am I doing wrong? Is there really a reason why men do this sometimes? Or is it just him? Please help me. I wish I knew more about the Choctaw Indians, but I don't really know all that much about Native Americans. However, here is what I do know from a friend who is Native American: 1. Many Native Americans, regardless of what tribe they are from, prefer to stay within their tribe. Some Native Americans never want to mainstream into European-American society. 2. Some Native Americans remember the history where their forefathers were lied to and mistreated and killed and moved here and there and stuck on reservations, and they do not like Thanksgiving, because even after some Native Americans (including Squanto) helped some European immigrants, violence ensued. There is still a lot of anger over the past, which is understandable. As an American whose forefathers are from Europe, I am so ashamed of how my ancestors treated Native Americans and African Americans and other people. I really wish that we could go back into the past and correct all the horrible tragedies and terrible things that happened. 3. For some Native Americans, they do mainstream into the American society. However, just like each person regardless of ethnicity is different, they have different personalities and likes and dislikes as any other group of people. I don't know if the above could help any in understanding your boyfriend, but I just advise you the following... 1. Be confident! Be happy and enjoy your art, which is amazing I am envious of you of your artistic talent!!! 2. Give him space. Don't try to kiss him in public. Instead, be your sweet and amazing self and just enjoy time with him. If he kisses you, that's awesome. If he doesn't, just enjoy talking to him, yeah? Some guys are not publicly affectionate. 3. Write in a journal or here when you are frustrated and sad. Even though yes it's nice to be able to tell your boyfriend, sometimes they would rather the girl in their life to be their source of "peace"? I don't know if that makes sense. I just got off the phone with the guy I'm interested in (we're not boyfriend/girlfriend yet, but maybe will be someday) but one thing he told me is that is really likes talking to me because he feels peace when I talk with him. 4. Take things slowly. Ya'll are still getting to know each other, so relax when he is distant and hopefully eventually his distant times will be shorter and shorter and less and less as he gets to know you. Good luck and I hope everything works out with you and your boyfriend!
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