Kindaconfused_77 Posted March 24, 2011 Posted March 24, 2011 Well, I keep getting mixed signals from my coworker, and Ive decided to call it a day. As mentioned in my previous thread, I was supposed to go have lunch with her today, but turns out she had a leaking boiler at home and she was getting it fixed this afternoon so no go. She said shed be staying late on Tuesday (the only other day I stay late as well) but hinted she may order out, which tells me shes not really clued in to the fact I wanted to go out for lunch with her the day she was staying late. She also mentioned how she might be staying late several days on the week to coincide with my work schedule, because she wanted to learn how to animate in flash (I'm a designer) so she’d stay late and have me teach her, something my Boss OKed. Oh, I thought, maybe she wants to find an excuse to spend more time with me? As ever, she was very chatty with me, and while working on stuff together she keeps close to me, comfortable with very close proximity, joking, chatting, all fine. Out of the blue she comments that shes going to some award presentation for a contest she signed up to, so I offer to go with her to it after work, she says sure, though she then mentions she was going with 2 other friends as well who signed up for the competition as well, but still seems fine with me coming. Later in the day, when shes leaving work, I tell her "See you later" to which she reacts as if she suddenly remembered and says, "Ooh, the competition! Hmm, you don't have to come, you know..." as if she was giving me an easy out to something I didn't want to do. She then hastily added, "Really, you don't have to.. well, you’ll tell me what you'll do later!" and left. I'm assuming either way shes not comfortable with me being there or for whatever reason isn't too keen on having me along, or on the contrary is playing hard to get (I don't really think so, but hell if Ive been misreading her signs I sure as hell could be misreading this). Either way I’m done, if she wants me bad enough she can feel free to let me know and chase me, I'm bloody worth it. My last advice to anyone interested in a coworker is this: You think its bad enough stressing over someone you are interested that you see once or twice a week, think how bad it is analyzing everything someone you see 6 hours a day 5 days a week is, lol. Never again.
MarlyStar Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 I agree. Are you going to be friends with her at work, or just sort of politely stay away? I'm sorry it turned out that way.
SweetDaphne Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 You're making the smart decision by backing off. If she's interested she'll come and find you. But to save yourself some sanity, I'd try and avoid her (where possible) while at work, otherwise you'll just keep analyzing what shes doing it, what it means to you, what she's thinking, etc, etc, etc...
dispatch3d Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 lol if she said to me "you don't have to come" I'd act pretty confused. I'd probably tell her I was looking forward to going because etc. etc. so on and so forth. Just assume if you are invited to an event its okay to go. When people act wishy-washy with me I generally just bail (because I have better things to do than be doing crap with wishywashy people).
Author Kindaconfused_77 Posted March 25, 2011 Author Posted March 25, 2011 You're making the smart decision by backing off. If she's interested she'll come and find you. But to save yourself some sanity, I'd try and avoid her (where possible) while at work, otherwise you'll just keep analyzing what shes doing it, what it means to you, what she's thinking, etc, etc, etc... Sadly she works right NEXT to me, I literally have her 2 metres away from me ever day at work. But I get along with her well, being friends isn't even a question, jsut her behavior sometimes makes me question whether she is curious to take it a little further than that. Ive definitely gone into the cooling off phase now, all that attention I showered upon her for the past month and-some, all the advances, all the insinuations, even the close physical proximity, gone, though I am still warm and friendly with her as before. I think she may be confused as to why she isnt getting that attention anymore, driving me home today she kept insinuating movies she wanted to watch, what I was doing this weekend (I described my awesome weekend plans to her and asked hers, to which she meekly replied she had none except resting, since she'd had a tiring week - don't see why, I work with ehr and our week was pretty relaxed). Maybe she was hoping I'd pick the bait and ask to spend time with her again, but no luck. Either she is completely oblivious and simply friendly,or she is playing hard to get and trying to make me chase her, and if the latter is the case maybe she'll make her interest more clear when she realize I'm no longer as eager to play. But.. its all kinda fun,if I'm honest.
Jack & Coke Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 Ha, yeah you'd definitely do best by canceling her. Don't act cold toward her but I wouldn't be super cheery or inviting. Any move that comes next should be 100% her, without innuendo or hinting. You've put yourself out there enough times, so now it's on her. And if she doesn't make a move then hey, you've already decided to deprioritize her so it's no sweat.
Jack & Coke Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 Sadly she works right NEXT to me, I literally have her 2 metres away from me ever day at work. But I get along with her well, being friends isn't even a question, jsut her behavior sometimes makes me question whether she is curious to take it a little further than that. Ive definitely gone into the cooling off phase now, all that attention I showered upon her for the past month and-some, all the advances, all the insinuations, even the close physical proximity, gone, though I am still warm and friendly with her as before. I think she may be confused as to why she isnt getting that attention anymore, driving me home today she kept insinuating movies she wanted to watch, what I was doing this weekend (I described my awesome weekend plans to her and asked hers, to which she meekly replied she had none except resting, since she'd had a tiring week - don't see why, I work with ehr and our week was pretty relaxed). Maybe she was hoping I'd pick the bait and ask to spend time with her again, but no luck. Either she is completely oblivious and simply friendly,or she is playing hard to get and trying to make me chase her, and if the latter is the case maybe she'll make her interest more clear when she realize I'm no longer as eager to play. But.. its all kinda fun,if I'm honest. Yeah, women sometimes get self-esteem boosts from playing this type of game. Having a guy say he wants to take you out gives the same boost that she'd get from actually going out with a guy. Cool off mode is definitely the way to go right now. I'd even get a little cocky when she starts dropping hints by saying something like "Oh really" with a little smile or smirk, leaving her to guess how to take it. And don't elaborate at all, just kinda brush her off. That turns YOU into the one playing hard to get. If you think it's kinda fun now, it'll be even more fun when you turn the tables and have her at home second guessing every move and wondering how something was taken, lol.
Author Kindaconfused_77 Posted March 25, 2011 Author Posted March 25, 2011 Lol now that would be some poetic justice considering the agonizing last month IVe had.
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