ShoeGurl1973 Posted March 24, 2011 Posted March 24, 2011 I have been with my bf for 3 1/2 years. I make almost twice the amount of money he does and this has been a great source of controversy. I've tried explaining I'm with him becuase of him, not because of money. Everytime we have an arguement money comes up and he says he's a loser and can't help pay for everything etc. Most of this is due to a child support payment which takes a lot each month. Anyway, we've been talking about marriage lately and several friends have mentioned he was talking about a ring for me. He's been very anxiety ridden about the cost lately and I had mentioned that as a favor, I could not let him pay rent for 6 months to save up money. He said that was a great idea and agreed. A couple nights later, he did something which I called him on. He did his natural response, and say he would leave. He always says he'll leave at any sign of an arguement. This time was different though because he stayed at a friends for a couple days and said he was moving out. I managed to convince him not to leave but he said he needed time to cool down, think about the positives in our relationship before coming back together. So, I let him stay in my house for the week with no contact. on the 6th day, I had had enough of being apart - I wanted to see him and discuss our issues, hopefully work through them and fix things. I knew he would be at a bar, so I walked in and saw him talking to a friend. I asked him to come outside and talk. He looked at me like he wanted to set me on fire and it crushed me. Outside he proceeded to bully me and yell about all my "shortcomings" like out of the blue. I had no idea where this anger was coming from and it hurt so much as I begged him to work on things. He finally said we were done. I walked off and my bitch mode kicked in. I told him to have his crap out of my house the next day as the locks would be changed the day after. He came home to get some things and proceeded to tell me he was packing some clothes because "I was kicking him out because he was such a baaaad person". I have no idea why he would turn this around on me when I was just asking him to work on things. He then told me it was sad I was 37 and never been married, that I'd be in my house forever because no one would want me, and that he only went out with me because I was lonely. These things hurt me to my core. I have no idea how anyone could say such hurtful things. I couldn't bring myself to stoop to that level so I just said nothing and he left. I have no idea what happened - we were talking marriage and babies 2 weeks ago and he told me I was the best gf ever. Now his stuff is gone and so is he. The only thing I can think of is that he feels powerless financially in the relationship and had to go out on top feeling powerful. I'm so devasted. I hate being in my house now - its creepy and quiet. I feel like selling it and moving away. Everything we did in this house was together. I knew he couldn't afford one so I did the next best thing by buying one and us moving in together. He frequently tells me i'm more independant financially than him so I really think that's the root of all problems. I thought in this day and age where the money comes isn't as important as being together. On paper, I shouldn't care. He lies alot. He lied to me about being married and I didn't find out for 6 months into the relationship. I asked if there was anything else he needed to tell me and he said no. about 6 months later he tells me he has a child. Through all this i stood by him and now he just threw it all away. How do i get over this? Do you think he is missing our life as much as I am, if at all?
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