Eternal Sunshine Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 I posted this in another thread but am curious about your thoughts. Women over 30 are supposed to have limited dating options. I do understand about biological clock but what if you don't care about having kids? My theory is, that at any age there will be a pool of men of similar age to choose from. Sure, some will prefer 20 year olds, but there is still quite a substantial number of men that care about the connection and woul def consider or even prefer a woman of similar age. Another thing is, I think that beauty fades for both sexes as they age. Many men age quite badly (bald, gray hairs, large gut etc etc). I am not experiencing shortage of options and I am 32 (of course I am just one data point). Agree or disagree?
Darren Taylor Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 I do understand about biological clock but what if you don't care about having kids? As long as you find a guy that doesn't want kids either, then it's all good. My theory is, that at any age there will be a pool of men of similar age to choose from. Sure, some will prefer 20 year olds, but there is still quite a substantial number of men that care about the connection and woul def consider or even prefer a woman of similar age. There will be a pool, but the pool will get smaller as you get older. Men gain options as they get older because of increased money and status. There will always be men available regardless of your age. The amount will decrease as you get older though. Another thing is, I think that beauty fades for both sexes as they age. Many men age quite badly (bald, gray hairs, large gut etc etc). I am not experiencing shortage of options and I am 32 (of course I am just one data point). 32 isn't really that old and it's not like your clock is ticking that fast. At say 35, it will probably be a different story.
Knittress Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 Beauty may fade, but most guys have an overinflated sense of their own attractiveness to start with. In the coffeshop I habitually frequent, I see this old guy with obviously dyed hair hitting on girls young enough to be his granddaughter. Sometimes I'm half-inclined to take him up on it, JUST to see what it is he thinks he's got to offer... heh.
fishtaco Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 I don't think they have limited options. There are always men around the same age group. Only thing I would say is many women in their 30's are divorced with kids. Kids, even if they are good kids, can make things more complicated. For one thing, if the kid's dad is a douche, well, he can make thing tough too. This pretty much applies until the kid turns 18. Not a deal breaker for me, but not a positive thing either. Beauty may fade, but most guys have an overinflated sense of their own attractiveness to start with. In the coffeshop I habitually frequent, I see this old guy with obviously dyed hair hitting on girls young enough to be his granddaughter. Sometimes I'm half-inclined to take him up on it, JUST to see what it is he thinks he's got to offer... heh. Money. And for some people, it works.
D-Lish Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 Beauty may fade, but most guys have an overinflated sense of their own attractiveness to start with. In the coffeshop I habitually frequent, I see this old guy with obviously dyed hair hitting on girls young enough to be his granddaughter. Sometimes I'm half-inclined to take him up on it, JUST to see what it is he thinks he's got to offer... heh. Perhaps a limp dick and a free coffee? lol
threebyfate Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 Perhaps a limp dick and a free coffee? lolWe could throw viagra into his drink! As women age, we limit our own options since we get more and more selective.
D-Lish Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 Men gain options as they get older because of increased money and status. Lol, maybe there will always be that "kind" of woman that wants a man to take care of them- maybe have sex with them as little as possible as they squint their eyes and imagine they are being mounted by a much younger Buck... Times are changing.
Darren Taylor Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 Lol, maybe there will always be that "kind" of woman that wants a man to take care of them- maybe have sex with them as little as possible as they squint their eyes and imagine they are being mounted by a much younger Buck... Times are changing. Times may be changing, but it doesn't change instincts. Some may go against it and even be fairly happy, but money and status rule for males. Not saying it's fair, but it's the way it is.
D-Lish Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 Times may be changing, but it doesn't change instincts. Some may go against it and even be fairly happy, but money and status rule for males. Not saying it's fair, but it's the way it is. I'm not challenging if it's fair or not, I am outright challenging your statement as BS. Women make their own money these days, I know I do, and most of my female friends do as well. There will always be women that will date a man for his bank account, but those same "types" of women will f*ck the younger dude for his stamina on the side. I couldn't do "the squint" and become close to being remotely happy. It may be the way it is for some people- but the parties involved in that kind of arrangement always head for divorce court.
Darren Taylor Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 I'm not challenging if it's fair or not, I am outright challenging your statement as BS. You can challenge it all you want. Science will back me up on this. Women strive to find someone with the most resources and the highest status they can get. There are some that don't. Are they the majority? No, they're not. Most guys strive to get the hottest woman they can. Some don't and are content with someone average to slightly above average looking. I do just that. Am I the majority? No, I'm not. You can call me out on it all you want. Science has proven this to be true. A lot of women seem to get overly defensive when you throw that out there. I don't like it any more than you do. But I won't ignore the truth.
threebyfate Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 I'm with you on this one D. Isn't this where we say "How would a bunch of guys know what it's like to be a 30-something year old woman so don't listen to them?"? Straight up guys. Finding dates for 30-something year old women isn't any more difficult than 20-somethings. That we're much pickier as we age, is usually from experience of knowing what works or doesn't work for us from past dating and relationship experiences.
Disillusioned Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 The older we get, the more men start dying off because we do more dumb things (drink, smoke, drive recklessly, etc etc), so after 60, the playing field starts slanting in men's favor. As for men 20-50, our best bet is to move to countries where the cancer of feminism hasn't taken hold very well.
Ruby Slippers Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 Straight up guys. Finding dates for 30-something year old women isn't any more difficult than 20-somethings. That we're much pickier as we age, is usually from experience of knowing what works or doesn't work for us from past dating and relationship experiences. Yes. And I am much better able to provide for myself now than I was 10 years ago, which in my case seems to have made me only more magnetic to men. They still want to "take care of" me. But it fires them up more knowing that they don't have to.
threebyfate Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 Yes. And I am much better able to provide for myself now than I was 10 years ago, which in my case seems to have made me only more magnetic to men. They still want to "take care of" me. But it fires them up more knowing that they don't have to.This has to do with the type of men that each woman attracts. Some did, some didn't. don't confuse our willingness to have sex with you (i.e. take you out on dates), with our willingness to commit to you. after 30, the odds of the latter taking place fall considerably. bring us all the sex you're willing to give us... please do; but understand, we're not committing - especially if we can afford some top shelf.My target audience was always men who were older. Didn't have any problems finding men who were willing to commit as well as men who weren't looking for commitment. No different than as a twenty-something. :shrug: For that matter, what's your experience with dating men as a thirty-something year old woman?
SteveC80 Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 Women in their mid 20's are luscious 30's not so much:laugh:
Knittress Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 ...We've all seen this concept in action. Almost as early as a beautiful, young woman is developed enough, she's offered all types of things, generally by older men - gifts, alcohol, vacations, you name it - if it will help you decide to sleep with us, giving "it" to you is in play - if we can afford it. We (men), on the other hand, want the youngest, hottest girl that we can get AT ALL STAGES OF OUR LIVES. It's at the core of most decisions men make all the time - i.e. which occupation we select, where we decide to live, what we decide to drive, where we decide to drink, hang out, ect... Have you seen this played out frequently in real life, or is this mostly a bunch of theory fueled by the media? What really strikes me as appalling about the whole thing is the commoditization of people, as if they were next year's iphone or something. We ALL want someone attractive and successful, but I think for most people there isn't an overwhelming desire to seek out 'the best' (as if that could even be defined), because like any material fixation such a concept a never-ending hole that can never be filled. I'm not worried about turning 30. The type of person I'm compatible with would love me for me, and not because I filled some consumer-shaped void in his life.
DollyGirl12 Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 I'm in my 40's and I have no problem getting attention from men. Most men don't even realize my age. I keep myself in better shape than many 15 years younger than myself. As far as sex, my last ex was 34 and I feel that I had the greater sex drive in our relationship. However, at this time I just have no desire to get out there and date. After my last breakup I just want to take the time and focus on only me.
Stung Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 I am in my 30s, and have known many women in their 30s and 40s who were single for one reason or another for some period of time. None of them seemed to have any more trouble finding a new mate and committing to a serious marital or live-in relationship than any of us had in our 20s. Finding someone who is compatible and loving and committed is difficult at every age, but not impossible at any age. My mother-in-law is a youthful sixty, widowed ten years, and she's had two serious boyfriends since then and is currently considering a marriage proposal. Physical beauty fades for all of us, in time, but I don't particularly believe that the teens or 20s are the height of it. Most of the people I'm around regularly are in their 30s and 40s, fit, healthy, well dressed and well cared for, confident, and looking like they've really grown into themselves. The 20-somethings tend to look more homogenous, still-unformed to my eyes, overly simple, not as much character in their faces. Some of them are very cute, but in the way that children are cute, or a baby bird is cute, awkward and sweet but with no sexual power. Just my opinion, though.
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted March 23, 2011 Author Posted March 23, 2011 I am with D - I don't care for men that can "provide for me". I can do that myself. All my female friends feel the same. Actually my brother commented yesterday - you seem to have more options than when you were 25
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted March 23, 2011 Author Posted March 23, 2011 My friend's mum is in her mid 50s and is consistently multi-dating
threebyfate Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 We all age and with aging comes change to every one of us. After we have children, our bodies change, some with more, others with less change. With the above in mind, why is it that it's disturbing to change? Why can't there be attractiveness within each decade? The above questions encompass both men and women. As long as people are healthy, why this focus on perpetual youth? I have noticed one thing. There seems to be a contingent of men who were rejected and probably continue to be rejected as twenty to thirty-something men, who feel the need to empower themselves at the expense of women who are thirty and older. It's like a chant that "nah, nah, men age better and get more money so now you wimmens who reject us will be rejected by us since the young ones want us now". And yet, these same chanters are still single while the thirty and older female crowd are all finding relationships. My challenge to the chanters is, put your money where your mouths are. Show us how easy it is for you to find a relationship and settle down. Better yet, get yourselves dates. If you're twenty-something, it should be pretty easy to do so since, as you've stated, there are a ton of single people in your decade. If you're in your thirties with all the purported money that you've wealth gathered, show us how you manage to get those twenty-something honeys. It appears that many of the thirty-something women are already putting our aging old bodies where our mouths are. And if you think we're settling, guess again!!
oaks Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 Women over 30 are supposed to have limited dating options. I hadn't heard this myth, but I'm a guy and I guess I don't read the right magazines. I suspect that it's untrue and that the reality is that you have plenty of options but they might not all be the same options you thought you had when you were 18. Not that you seem to be having any problem with options, ES.
Eeyore79 Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 I'm in my 30s but I'm not divorced and don't have kids, which widens my dating pool since I'm not excluded by the men who think of such things as dealbreakers. I also look quite good for my age; people usually assume I'm mid-20s, which means I can date younger guys, and also older guys who want a younger looking woman. Also I was fairly attractive to begin with, so even at my age I still look better than some average looking younger women do. The only guys who are really off limits for me are those who are looking for a significantly younger woman who has plenty of years for childbearing; I can still bear children, but my shelf life is a little more limited. I seem to attract as many men now as I did when I was younger, and they tend to be better quality men because I'm wealthier and move in better social circles nowadays. I'm also a lot more selective than I used to be, so the men I date have better prospects than the losers I was dumb enough to date in my youth. I actually prefer to date younger men, because they're usually more attractive (men my age often look quite old compared to me), and also they're less likely to have dealbreakers like divorce and kids. I haven't noticed any shortage of men who are willing to date me
EasyHeart Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 I posted this in another thread but am curious about your thoughts. Women over 30 are supposed to have limited dating options. I do understand about biological clock but what if you don't care about having kids? My theory is, that at any age there will be a pool of men of similar age to choose from. Sure, some will prefer 20 year olds, but there is still quite a substantial number of men that care about the connection and woul def consider or even prefer a woman of similar age. Another thing is, I think that beauty fades for both sexes as they age. Many men age quite badly (bald, gray hairs, large gut etc etc). I am not experiencing shortage of options and I am 32 (of course I am just one data point). Agree or disagree?I've never heard this myth. I've always heard that women in their 30s are the Holy Grail of dating.
DollyGirl12 Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 I am in my 30s, and have known many women in their 30s and 40s who were single for one reason or another for some period of time. None of them seemed to have any more trouble finding a new mate and committing to a serious marital or live-in relationship than any of us had in our 20s. Finding someone who is compatible and loving and committed is difficult at every age, but not impossible at any age. My mother-in-law is a youthful sixty, widowed ten years, and she's had two serious boyfriends since then and is currently considering a marriage proposal. Physical beauty fades for all of us, in time, but I don't particularly believe that the teens or 20s are the height of it. Most of the people I'm around regularly are in their 30s and 40s, fit, healthy, well dressed and well cared for, confident, and looking like they've really grown into themselves. The 20-somethings tend to look more homogenous, still-unformed to my eyes, overly simple, not as much character in their faces. Some of them are very cute, but in the way that children are cute, or a baby bird is cute, awkward and sweet but with no sexual power. Just my opinion, though. Great post! Thank you! Honestly, i don't think age matters at all. It's inevitable that we are going to age, every single one of us, men and women. I was single for 4 years, by choice, before my last relationship with my ex bf. Previously I was married and have been divorced for 11 years now. I've dated on and off but it has always been my choice who I wanted to date. It certainly doesn't always have to do with looks. I do take very good care of myself and am, from what others tell me, beautiful. But I do think much of that also comes from within. Every ex I have had has contacted me, some even years later, and told me I was the best gf they had ever had. The most kind and caring gf they had ever had(I don't feel that way all the time and I guess I base alot of that on the experience I had with the way things ended with my last ex....but that was very out of character for me). So no, those comments aren't based on looks, they are based on something those people felt was coming from within. My ex husband always tells people I was the best wife a man could have wanted. Even now, years later. He also makes jokes all the time about how he looks 20 years older and I look 20 years younger! LOL
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