I screwed up no contact after 56 days :(

[Flowerzzz]

Hello everyone. Well, my goal was 60 days no contact with ex boyfriend. He called me and left a sweet message on day 56--"Hey Erin, I know we have not talked in a few months but I felt like the need to call you. Listen, I'd like you to call me back but I understand if you don't want to. Listen, I hope everything is going well for you and I hope we can catch up sometime soon. I will be up for a minute..I don't know if you are asleep yet or not..but I hope we talk soon." I waited a day and texted him a joke/question last night. he did not respond. I called and left a voice message later last night. No response. I feel so sick and mad and crazy!!! I totally let myself down and I ruined my frickin' goal! He was probably with his new girl...I was hoping it was over between them. Ugh. So what now? Do I just leave it at that? Now he has all the power again and I feel like CRAP! Thanks for the help guys.

[flow15]

I am in a very similar position to you (read my post its just under yours). My ex sent me a song called one more chance, after a month NC and I stupidly read into it and asked him why he sent it and he said no reason. So now I'm going back into NC.

 

I think its their way of testing to see if we are still interested even though they're not. You should just keep NC, don't worry about the txt/ call u made. He didn't reply to the txt so u called, but don't call anymore!! If he contacts again ignore it and just remain NC. I think thats the best thing to do.

 

If my ex contacts again I am just gonna ignore it

[Flowerzzz]

I can't believe they are such JERKFACES! I can't believe I was such a jerkface for taking the bait! Thanks for replying to me. I just read your thread. YES! It is like they are messing with our heads on purpose. And we just stroked their egos, made them feel good by responding to their crap. it makes me so mad. Better mad than sad though!!!! Let us keep ROCKING! We don't need their jerk faces!!!!

Edited March 9, 2011 by Flowerzzz

[flow15]

I know... they are indeed Jerkfaces ha ha....

 

I am so angry right now, and feel like I'm going through a break up/broken heart all over again!

 

But the best thing to do is to not show them how angry we are... That will just show them we still love/care for them. The best thing to do is to ignore them and let them wonder

[betterdeal]

Sometimes it helps to write down all the things you want to be rid of and burn the list as a symbol of getting rid of it. For me, it was this:

 

* Anger

* Blame

* Jealousy

* Guilt

* Loathing

* Hurt

* Fear

 

It takes time, but it's working for me. I have disconnected from the last woman I was involved with, recognised and been dealing with my own issues, and let go of it all. I wish her well. I hope she finds a way to live her life that she enjoys. I hope I and you do too. The connection we had is gone. That's all that needs to happen.

[Country_Girl]

Maybe it's better he didn't answer. What if he did, then told you things you wanted to hear, then pulled the disapearing act. It could have been worse. But I understand the pain when the ex contacts, then only seems to respond when it's convinient for them- it's like you're being rejected all over again.

 

Don't let this bring you down, you are doing great with NC, not many people can last that long. I for sure couldn't, that takes a lot of strength and willpower.

[spackle]

don't beat yourself up. You don't know why he called nor the reason he didn't reply.

 

Deep breath & move on a day at a time.

[Flowerzzz]

Thanks, I am feeling a lot more centered already. I guess going that long no contact helps one bounce back easier! It just proves that I need to keep moving forward, not look back, and definitely not respond to him if he does make contact. Whooooo!