LoveBug1989 Posted March 4, 2011 Posted March 4, 2011 Hi all.... you might recognize me from a previous post about my long distance boyfriend breaking up with me over the phone a few days before Christmas and how devastated I was. Well, 1 month later of no contact, I get that call...."hey, I know I shouldn't be asking you to forgive me but I am...I've missed you so much, you inspire me to get my life together, I want to be serious about this this time," blah blah blah.... of course I was estatic and after a long talk about how we need to work on our communication, and asking him if he was really willing to be serious this time, we started dating again (still long distance). We were doing better than we ever had before. We talked all the time, laughed, said how much we missed each other, loved each other, how much we couldnt' wait to get back together in California in May... Last night he called me to say I love you and good night, and he laughed at my sleepy voice; just a cute, normal late night call that he does sometimes. He called me this morning too to say I love you and we laughed about last night and how I couldnt' remember what he had said to me. Then this after noon, I got a text from him that said "I did something bad". I said what? he says "I can't tell you because it's horrible" and continued to reply with "i can't tell you, i don't want to". Tonight he called me and said "I can't date you anymore. You're too far away and I'm getting stressed out and depressed and I've been self medicating with pot and drinking and smoking cigarettes and partying this past month we've been back together and that's not the person you want to be with. I'm happy the way I am now and I don't want to go back to the way I was." So that was it. I feel crushed again; I'm hurt he doesn't want to become the person I loved again, that he is happy with this lifestyle (which he used to condemn) and doesn't want me. I feel stupid for believing that he really did want to get back together, and giving him my heart again, even though we had both talked about it extensively and made sure this is what we wanted to do. He was my first love. I don't think I'll ever see him again. I'm just broken.
proactivedreamer Posted March 4, 2011 Posted March 4, 2011 I think that for your own sake you should try to move on,despite, your feelings for him. He thinks he can just come and go in your life as he pleases because you will receive him with open arms. He is just going to keep sending you on a emotional roller coaster, and I am sure that you do not want to have to endure this again. You were moving forward after one month no contact, then he says he wants you, and now this? He is taking you for a ride, and you don't deserve it. It's so ****ed up to play this game with you. You have a life ahead of you to live,I'd say let this careless guy go. He doesn't seem to care that he is making you suffer. I hope that you will think deeply about this and commit to moving on because doesn't seem like any good can come of this.
depplover_1980 Posted March 4, 2011 Posted March 4, 2011 Hey, at least you really tried a second time so this time round you know there's no going back and you can truly focus on getting over him and your life back into gear. Hard to decipher what's going on with him, in all honesty I suspect there is someone else in the picture, who perhaps left him for a while - forcing him to come back to you, then she's come back to him, so yet again he gets rid of you. I think the drinking/pot is an excuse - I suspect he's young and loves the lifestyle really, perhaps even met a girl who does it with him; drug bonds can be a powerful thing. Either way you deserve better than this guy, as he is not being honest and consistant. First loves are always hard to break, but look around and see we all get over it eventually.
BrokenFool Posted March 4, 2011 Posted March 4, 2011 Sometimes in the path of life we meet someone who we feel is destined to be with us forever , but we fail to see that sometimes people are just with us for a short amount of time before they follow their paths, not everybody is destined to be with you till you reach your destination dont be sorry it ended be happy it started your heart was clean you gave your all and you deserve more than a pot smoking jerk so god took him away from your life and what you get next will undoubtedly be better it hurts theirs no denying that but wasting years of your life with this man, loving him more and then for him to have done this to you, being left with a kid then for him to have done this to you would have hurt a lot more your beautiful dont you ever forget that
BrokenFool Posted March 4, 2011 Posted March 4, 2011 Sometimes in the path of life we meet someone who we feel is destined to be with us forever , but we fail to see that sometimes people are just with us for a short amount of time before they follow their paths, not everybody is destined to be with you till you reach your destination dont be sorry it ended be happy it started your heart was clean you gave your all and you deserve more than a pot smoking jerk so god took him away from your life and what you get next will undoubtedly be better it hurts theirs no denying that but wasting years of your life with this man, loving him more and then for him to have done this to you, being left with a kid then for him to have done this to you would have hurt a lot more your beautiful dont you ever forget that
broken-and-lost Posted March 4, 2011 Posted March 4, 2011 Hey, at least you really tried a second time so this time round you know there's no going back and you can truly focus on getting over him and your life back into gear. Hard to decipher what's going on with him, in all honesty I suspect there is someone else in the picture, who perhaps left him for a while - forcing him to come back to you, then she's come back to him, so yet again he gets rid of you. I think the drinking/pot is an excuse - I suspect he's young and loves the lifestyle really, perhaps even met a girl who does it with him; drug bonds can be a powerful thing. Either way you deserve better than this guy, as he is not being honest and consistant. First loves are always hard to break, but look around and see we all get over it eventually. Lisern to depplover she is giving some good advice here , be sound in the knowleadge you gave it a second go and you can do no more sorry it hurts so much i know what you are going through. On a side note depplover you are one hell of a good looking woman with a sound head on your shoulders
Author LoveBug1989 Posted March 5, 2011 Author Posted March 5, 2011 (edited) Hey, at least you really tried a second time so this time round you know there's no going back and you can truly focus on getting over him and your life back into gear. Hard to decipher what's going on with him, in all honesty I suspect there is someone else in the picture, who perhaps left him for a while - forcing him to come back to you, then she's come back to him, so yet again he gets rid of you. I think the drinking/pot is an excuse - I suspect he's young and loves the lifestyle really, perhaps even met a girl who does it with him; drug bonds can be a powerful thing. Either way you deserve better than this guy, as he is not being honest and consistant. First loves are always hard to break, but look around and see we all get over it eventually. Thanks for the advice depplover, and everyone else. Even though I'm crushed by this again, I feel stronger and I'm much angrier than I was the first break up. I'm just still shocked that he could be so committed to making the relationship work and even planning for our future together, then throw it all away for his dumbass friends and smoking and drinking. That hurts more than anything else. I called him a few seconds after he broke up with me and said thanks for all the great times we had together even though it ended wrong...i hope you are happy in your life. He was quiet, then said okay, i gotta go, bye. I'm almost half hoping he calls some other time just so I can tell him he screwed up his last chance and he can never have me again. Edited March 5, 2011 by LoveBug1989
depplover_1980 Posted March 5, 2011 Posted March 5, 2011 Never underestimate the power of drinking and smoking. As a former party girl I can hand on heart say I always loved alcohol more than anything else and I left a trail behind me. When you meet someone with a good head on their shoulders you will be bowled over. Deal with the pain yes but believe me when I say there is someone out there who will make you real happy again. I promise. x
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