huskers11 Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 My ex and I weren't together for very long but we got to know each other very quickly and fell for him. A few weeks before he dumped me, we had a pregnancy scare when a condom malfunctioned. That's around the time the doubts started. But he led me believe everything was great. We got along really well, never fought, talked daily, he even had me meet his parents. Besides the scare, our relationship seemed flawless. Well he dumped me out of the blue about a month ago. He said that he had feelings for me but he didn't seem them developing further and he didn't seem me in his future and I wasn't "the one." Given his actions leading up to the break and the pregnancy scare, I think he got scared. His ex really hurt him and we had moved quickly. But in any case, there's a great chance he could be telling the truth. I have no idea if he actually knows. It seems too soon for me but maybe that's the difference between men and women. Well we have alot of mutual friends and have been at some of birthday events to go to.. Everytime I see him, he seems like he's sad or upset but that could just be me projecting or the awkwardness of seeing each other. But he doesn't talk to me at all. He won't even look at me. Yeah, I was hurt by the breakup but it really wasn't a bad breakup at all. Whenever, I text or message him he response almost immediately but he never initates it. He says he wants to be friends eventually but he won't even be give me a polite hi how are you? whenever I see him. What does this mean? Why won't he talk to me? Is he hurt, upset, feeling guilty about the break? He's typically one of the nicest guys but with me he's been being a huge *******! Thank you for your help!
Movingthrough Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 My ex and I weren't together for very long but we got to know each other very quickly and fell for him. A few weeks before he dumped me, we had a pregnancy scare when a condom malfunctioned. That's around the time the doubts started. But he led me believe everything was great. We got along really well, never fought, talked daily, he even had me meet his parents. Besides the scare, our relationship seemed flawless. Well he dumped me out of the blue about a month ago. He said that he had feelings for me but he didn't seem them developing further and he didn't seem me in his future and I wasn't "the one." Given his actions leading up to the break and the pregnancy scare, I think he got scared. His ex really hurt him and we had moved quickly. But in any case, there's a great chance he could be telling the truth. I have no idea if he actually knows. It seems too soon for me but maybe that's the difference between men and women. Well we have alot of mutual friends and have been at some of birthday events to go to.. Everytime I see him, he seems like he's sad or upset but that could just be me projecting or the awkwardness of seeing each other. But he doesn't talk to me at all. He won't even look at me. Yeah, I was hurt by the breakup but it really wasn't a bad breakup at all. Whenever, I text or message him he response almost immediately but he never initates it. He says he wants to be friends eventually but he won't even be give me a polite hi how are you? whenever I see him. What does this mean? Why won't he talk to me? Is he hurt, upset, feeling guilty about the break? He's typically one of the nicest guys but with me he's been being a huge *******! Thank you for your help! He's not talking to you because he isnt fully over it. Us guys are weird with that stuff, it may be our ego, i dont know, but we are not usually going to just be like "hey whats up" after a breakup. If he did the breaking up and he knows you still have feelings for him, the communication will be less by him. I remember breaking up with a girl and she would text me after the break up, i honestly felt weird and told her to stop, i feel bad now but the point is, guys think that girls will "hold on" more so we pull away. If we are the ones that are dumped, we push to make it work "i will change" and ill that, then we suffer in silence and develope anger towards them, which means if we saw them we still wouldnt say anything. Iam a guy, and i think that is a lot harder for guys to do the polite friend thing after a breakup. I can say that at this point i dont ever see myself being friendly to my ex again, not really a bitter thing but with most guys its black and white. So we look at it like well we arent hooking up, we dont love each other, we dont date - what is the point? This isnt all guys but most of the time the ones that are "cool" with being friends and stuff just cant let go and think it will be a way in at some point. Your guy isnt comfortable yet, and even though he did the breaking up, it still hurts.
Author huskers11 Posted February 26, 2011 Author Posted February 26, 2011 I do still have a lot of feelings for him and I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to get back together. From a guys perspective, do you think he really knows I'm not the one? He is actually best friends with one of his exes. They dated longer than we did but we had more initamacy, which might be the problem. I know the girl that he dated right before me, the girl that really hurt him, he isn't friends with her at all. I guess I just understand how he can be upset by all of this when he made it seem like the feelings for me weren't really there. From my perspective, if I had dumped a guy because the feelings weren't there and I didn't see a future I would be over it by now! And I'd at least be able to say hi to him when I see him!
Movingthrough Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 I do still have a lot of feelings for him and I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to get back together. From a guys perspective, do you think he really knows I'm not the one? He is actually best friends with one of his exes. They dated longer than we did but we had more initamacy, which might be the problem. I know the girl that he dated right before me, the girl that really hurt him, he isn't friends with her at all. I guess I just understand how he can be upset by all of this when he made it seem like the feelings for me weren't really there. From my perspective, if I had dumped a guy because the feelings weren't there and I didn't see a future I would be over it by now! And I'd at least be able to say hi to him when I see him! I have wondered the same thing about my ex, all i can tell you is that guys can break up with the girl and still feel it, same as girls. Its never easy so you just have to roll with the punches. What you are feeling is the whole its over buttttt i still feel something, its normal. As far as doesn he know you are not the one....who knows. How many times do we break up with people then down the road meet again. Its life i guess, nowadays most will get out of something when they feel like there are problems. Which means the dumpee has to own the fact that there was problems and use time and studying (coming on here, reading etc) to move on. I was reading a book last night that said times like are supposed to be a "rebirth" not a breakdown.
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