Mrlonelyone Posted February 24, 2011 Posted February 24, 2011 As some of you know I am a theoretical physicist and have been courting a woman who sings in a local Opera company. We had a date arranged later in the week of V day which she bailed on claiming to spend time with a boyfriend...who she never mentioned at all to anyone else. A total phantom. What has happened since then is she brings up what I sent her for V day. A single pink rose and a teddy bear in conversation. Though in a kind of strange way. Wondering out loud if she were to take her backpack and stuffed animal and stand out on a street corner if anyone from her work would come find her. I guess that means she liked it. :-/ She's also taken to reading a particular book about physics. One that aims to explain things simply for people who don't know. :-\ I don't know what to think about this. I may be too forgiving or optimistic but I really want to think that she chickened out fearing that she wouldn't be able to keep up with me mentally. Or out of some other anxiety or phobia. Or some odd impluse to make herself "hard to get". I don't talk about what I do all the time. In fact I avoid it precisely because it is so dense. I also won't lie when asked what I do for a living. Am I totally crazy to think she has some interest in seeing me?
Author Mrlonelyone Posted February 24, 2011 Author Posted February 24, 2011 I guess since no one has responded I am utterly nuts to think she has some level of interest in me?
VertexSquared Posted February 24, 2011 Posted February 24, 2011 I have a sudden urge to discuss quantum cosmology
tman666 Posted February 24, 2011 Posted February 24, 2011 We had a date arranged later in the week of V day which she bailed on claiming to spend time with a boyfriend...who she never mentioned at all to anyone else. This says everything you need to know. She's not interested. Sorry friend, better luck with the next one...
VertexSquared Posted February 24, 2011 Posted February 24, 2011 This says everything you need to know. She's not interested. Sorry friend, better luck with the next one... Agreed, yes
Author Mrlonelyone Posted February 24, 2011 Author Posted February 24, 2011 This says everything you need to know. She's not interested. Sorry friend, better luck with the next one... I neglected to mention that we rescheduled that date. Could it be that she does have some sort of BF and was a little gun shy about dropping him in my favor?
Emilia Posted February 24, 2011 Posted February 24, 2011 you have to get to know her a bit more before drawing any conclusions
Author Mrlonelyone Posted February 24, 2011 Author Posted February 24, 2011 you have to get to know her a bit more before drawing any conclusions I thought I knew her pretty well. The whole thing is so confusing with her...one mixed signal after the other. One day she ask me out...then dosent give me her number...then agreess to a date...then cancels claiming boyfriend...the she suggest another date...and then her behavior in the subject of this thread. She dosent seem to know what she wants.
Intricategirl Posted February 24, 2011 Posted February 24, 2011 She dosent seem to know what she wants. Alright, let me explain in the terms you'll get. Heisenberg's uncertainty principle vs. the observer effect. She knows you're watching, and the act of observation changes her behavior. Meanwhile, you're trying to measure her level of interest, and the more sure you get about one thing, the more everything else changes. Let her path stabilize before trying to gauge whether she's moving towards or away from you. Dig?
Nexus One Posted February 24, 2011 Posted February 24, 2011 I thought I knew her pretty well. The whole thing is so confusing with her...one mixed signal after the other. One day she ask me out...then dosent give me her number...then agreess to a date...then cancels claiming boyfriend...the she suggest another date...and then her behavior in the subject of this thread. She dosent seem to know what she wants. I don't understand how a woman with a boyfriend asks another guy out on a date, unless she's in some open relationship, but that doesn't seem the case as she mentioned a boyfriend as the reason for not following through on the date. Or am I missing something here?
Author Mrlonelyone Posted February 24, 2011 Author Posted February 24, 2011 @Intricategirl That was a pretty good explanation of Heisenberg uncertainty. I can see using it to explain the concept to people someday. lol. Try this on for size. A persons romantic interest can be thought of as having two states. Totally interested |I> and totally not interested |N>. How interested anyone ever is is just the superposition of how interested they are with how not interested they are.... l|I>+(1-L)|N>. What state we find them in at any given moment has a random chance of being either |I> or |N> depending on their mood. I don't understand how a woman with a boyfriend asks another guy out on a date, unless she's in some open relationship, but that doesn't seem the case as she mentioned a boyfriend as the reason for not following through on the date. Or am I missing something here? I know the whole thing is utterly perplexing. Actions speak louder than words...but her words and actions don't totally match each other. When does someone ever match up like that?
Intricategirl Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 @Intricategirl That was a pretty good explanation of Heisenberg uncertainty. I can see using it to explain the concept to people someday. lol. Try this on for size. A persons romantic interest can be thought of as having two states. Totally interested |I> and totally not interested |N>. How interested anyone ever is is just the superposition of how interested they are with how not interested they are.... l|I>+(1-L)|N>. What state we find them in at any given moment has a random chance of being either |I> or |N> depending on their mood. Thanks. Between that and studying for the LSAT by means of determining whether Ron interviewed Marie third if Tom and Irene's interviews are four apart and conducted by kangaroos on a Tuesday at midnight- I'm fairly sure my head just exploded. There you go... I can answer this in an LSAT logic game format too. Girl will cancel a date with two different men a total of seven times. She can only date one man at a time, and dates each one in order of interest. She is interested in you if and only if you give her a pink rose and teddy bear. If her boyfriend calls her first, she will go out with him first. If you call her first, she will go out with you first or second. What is the total number of times she may cancel on you before you get tired of her nonsense? A) 1 B) 2 C) Purple D) 4 E) Have you seen this girl? I'll put up with her nonsense an infinite number of times.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted February 25, 2011 Author Posted February 25, 2011 The answer is F. The girl lost her nerve for the date and made up the boyfriend. But my limit for reschedules of a date is 3. I'll let someone resechedule three times before I get tired of them. That goes for friends, potential mates, business relationships. For all I know she broke up with that guy and thats why we even rescehduled. Don't anyone give me crap about being a homewrecker either... were'er talking about a possible boyfriend not a husband she would be dropping.
elaina Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 The answer is F. The girl lost her nerve for the date and made up the boyfriend. But my limit for reschedules of a date is 3. I'll let someone resechedule three times before I get tired of them. That goes for friends, potential mates, business relationships. For all I know she broke up with that guy and thats why we even rescehduled. Don't anyone give me crap about being a homewrecker either... were'er talking about a possible boyfriend not a husband she would be dropping. It's great that she's reading a book about physics, but no I don't think she's that interested in you. About if she has a boyfriend or not, I don't really think it's great to think someone is lying about that unless there's proof that she indeed does not have a boyfriend. Instead of wondering if she likes you or not or if she truly has a boyfriend or not, it'd be good for you to get to know her better as a friend and see what happens.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted February 25, 2011 Author Posted February 25, 2011 (edited) No it's a book called "How to talk to your dog about Physics". I guess it could be kind of sweet that she wants to learn more about what I care so much about. @elaina I thought I already knew her as a friend. I met this woman last July. We spent a fair ammount of friendly time together taking the same exercise class. We talked allot about our lives and never was a "boyfriend" mentioned. I have had women loose their nerve about dating me time and again. Agree to a date...then bail on the day. Dating me can be an intimidating prospect. Edited February 25, 2011 by Mrlonelyone
sally4sara Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 No it's a book called "How to talk to your dog about Physics". I guess it could be kind of sweet that she wants to learn more about what I care so much about. Either that or she wants a deeper relationship with her dog.
elaina Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 No it's a book called "How to talk to your dog about Physics". I guess it could be kind of sweet that she wants to learn more about what I care so much about. @elaina I thought I already knew her as a friend. I met this woman last July. We spent a fair ammount of friendly time together taking the same exercise class. We talked allot about our lives and never was a "boyfriend" mentioned. I have had women loose their nerve about dating me time and again. Agree to a date...then bail on the day. Dating me can be an intimidating prospect. Oh, yeah I think it's sweet. About never before she mentioned having a boyfriend, then yeah that is curious. Yes sometimes it is intimidating dating a genius. The guy I'm interested in is a genius in another field (not math or science) and yeah it does unnerve me a bit that he can do things I can't (but at the same time I really like that!) Hopefully ya'll will go on a date soon and have a wonderful time! I bet it is frustrating and I wish I could give better advice, but yeah just keep getting to know her and hopefully she will not strike out 3 times!
Sanman Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 @Intricategirl That was a pretty good explanation of Heisenberg uncertainty. I can see using it to explain the concept to people someday. lol. Try this on for size. A persons romantic interest can be thought of as having two states. Totally interested |I> and totally not interested |N>. How interested anyone ever is is just the superposition of how interested they are with how not interested they are.... l|I>+(1-L)|N>. What state we find them in at any given moment has a random chance of being either |I> or |N> depending on their mood. I know the whole thing is utterly perplexing. Actions speak louder than words...but her words and actions don't totally match each other. When does someone ever match up like that? I'm going to say that this is much more of a Schrodinger's Cat issue at the moment. Her feelings are the cat and in superposition at the moment. The only choice you have is the break open the box (ask her if she is interested or take some sort of action) and find out. However, this in itself will affect the outcome.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted February 25, 2011 Author Posted February 25, 2011 I'm going to say that this is much more of a Schrodinger's Cat issue at the moment. Her feelings are the cat and in superposition at the moment. The only choice you have is the break open the box (ask her if she is interested or take some sort of action) and find out. However, this in itself will affect the outcome. Well we have another date set up. I'll see if she follows through with it this time.
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