Are you brave enough to Enter The WILLderness? Read this dumpees!

[EnterTheWILLderness]

Your significant other just broke up with you, she/he evicted you out of your own crib, you cut yourself shaving this morning, and, “oh no!” Your tickle-me-Elmo just ran out of batteries! WOE IS YOU!! Life couldn’t be any worse

 

I’ve been there before and having come out of it, my advice to you is, “Yo, cut that shiet out!”

 

For terribly embarrassing reasons, I’ve made a new account and decided to come back and share what I’ve learned in the last 2 years! I received great advice about 2 years ago when I (like many of you) found your way here all red-eyed because out of the blue, our ex’s reached into our chests and pulled out our hearts and stomped on it!

 

Let’s begin with the basics:

 

1. Take frequent showers. I know it’s a tiring and physically demanding task when your heart broken, so my advice is to cut down this strenuous task by buying a 2 in 1 shampoo; condition and shampoo all in one go! Soap is optional, deodorant hides all. Consider combing your hair, but this isn’t really necessary as bed-head is in.

 

2. Clean out everything that reminds you of them and I mean everything. If you look at a spoon and it reminds you of them then put that spoon in a box with the rest of her sentiments. If you end up putting all your eating utensils in the box then get used to buying plastic cutlery (IKEA is having a sale). Clear out their clothing, bathroom supplies, vacation pictures, sex tapes (You kinky squirrels!) Everything!

 

3. Put it somewhere out of sight, don’t throw it out yet! You never know when they might get all spiteful on you and start demanding that shirt with the “ ketchup stains and holes” back. Save yourself the headache and put it somewhere that isn’t in your way. If they ask for stuff back, give it to a mutual friend, or drop it off at their house when they aren’t there. Otherwise, you will instinctively know when it’s time to toss it all!

 

4. No contact. If you think hanging on, crying, begging, (chasing them with knives), sending them flowers, waiting in front of their house for them to come home, bombing them with “we can make it work” text messages, filling up their voice mail by playing “your song” and in general being a clingy, crying doormat will result in them having an epiphany and thus thrusting themselves back into your arms, then wouldn’t everyone here be happy? It doesn’t work so save face and fall off the face of the earth to them.

 

(The "I was the best thing to ever happen to YOU" step)

5. Don’t like that muffin top spilling out of your jeans? Tired of getting blown about in the wind? Well, start exercising! Run, lift weights, eat healthy, figure out a way to better your career, make more money, become more social, do anything to improve yourself! Make goals and you will achieve them. Most importantly, mentally prepare yourself for the future ass kissing they will pull on you when you better yourself and become a better you. You might as well get used to it now so go ahead and print a picture of them on a roll of toilet paper.

 

6. Unless they’re calling/emailing/texting you to say, “I made a mistake, I love you so much and I hope you’ll take me back” or “I think you’re the babies father” don’t reply! Everything in between is nonsense.

 

7. Indulge yourself in a morning glass of vodka with a side of chronic. Joking! Self-destructive behavior should be avoided at all cost. Avoid rebound relationships, don’t drink yourself stupid, don’t eat your emotions away, don’t do anything you will regret. Always imagine yourself one year from now, will you regret your decision? Or will you be proud of it?

 

8. Laugh. Since when did you become a crying, depressed wuss bag? Get it all out, have a good cry session and after you’re done, mentally move yourself along after. Hang out with friends or try becoming more comfortable on your own. Try going to the beach alone. Say, “Hi” to strangers. Become more confident again! Running water never grows stale, so you’ve got to just keep on moving.

 

9. Girls, date an Asian guy, we’re oodles of fun! (haha, sorry, I just had to say it)

 

At the end of the day, remember this: “If not them, someone else” You will love and be loved again. Don’t let yourself become jaded because of an experience. Live. Laugh. Love.

 

Champions don't belong on the ground, so get up and dust yourself off!

 

Loveshack readers, lets hear whats on your mind.

 

My credentials: 6 year relationship gone down the crapper.

Edited February 17, 2011 by EnterTheWILLderness

[Layzie89]

If this post had a "Like" button, I would click it. Words of wisdom and motivation well received. Thanks!

[Trovador]

Nice!

 

Something else: Don't stop doing your thing, that is changing what you used and enjoyed to do before this unfortunate turn of events... or they have this incredible power over you that you don't listen to music, don't go the movies, etc, just because it reminds you of your ex?

 

Well, that helped me, the thought that they don't dictate my life, that is...

 

Other thing: Don't SMOKE because of them (I have to follow my own advice, though ha ha)...

 

Greetings...

[EnterTheWILLderness]

definitely don't smoke!

 

ay-men fella's.

 

lol, when i look at my old posts I cringe and laugh! I hope many of you will look back at this whole situation and laugh and wonder what you were thinking.

Edited February 17, 2011 by EnterTheWILLderness

[0hpenelope]

I love this!!

[paiger]

Wow lol great post, very inspiring. I honestly do believe I will look back and remember how much my relationship knocked my life sideways. And then I will laugh at how stupid I looked...

 

I think i'm about halfway through the getting over stage. It's hard... but this post showed me it's possible. I mean 6 year relationship? Yikes. Must have been scary basically starting a new life without that someone beside you.

[PowerOfOne]

Hahaha. Great post!

 

I'm sure I got a few weird looks while I read that on the train this arvo.

[EnterTheWILLderness]

I honestly do believe I will look back and remember how much my relationship knocked my life sideways. And then I will laugh at how stupid I looked....

 

lol, you will. I think one thing I've come to realize is that you will always remember them, no matter what. You don't forget, but you can forgive. Whether it be forgiving yourself, or them.

 

I mean 6 year relationship? Yikes. Must have been scary basically starting a new life without that someone beside you.

 

Your first love is the sweetest but that first cut is the deepest.

 

She definitely put me in my grave at that time, and if that wasn't enough, she put a couple of bullets in my casket just to make sure. Haha.

 

We are all creatures of habit and when we've found a comfortable routine we don't like to change it. "Go with what you know" is what they say. In the past we've called/texted/emailed and always got a positive response from our ex's so this habit is reinforced in our minds as a good way to show our feelings. But when they break up, we're still stuck with this notion that our old methods of showing affection texting/calling/ emailing will again prove useful. But you’re preaching on deaf ears.

 

Breaking this habit is hard but we are all capable of finding a new balancing point in life.

Edited February 17, 2011 by EnterTheWILLderness

[Country_Girl]

I really enjoyed this post, the tickle-me-elmo comment got a good laugh out of me, which was important because sometimes in the sadness we need a good chuckle.

[depplover_1980]

Also learn to look at your dumper with sympathy; poor them, they have made the decision not to have you in their lives and therefore the future for them is less rich, void of all the love and fantastic attributes you brought to the table.

 

If they are cold/narcissitic/commitment phobic etc pity them for being emotionally retarded - that in their hearts is an empty space - they are closed off to a real relationship, full of honesty, intergrity and genuine adoration. Losers...