Lilmisus Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 Most every girl has been there. You buy a cute new outfit, and all heads turn and guys stop and stare (and sometimes drool a bit). I've been there a good amount of times, but today I really needed a confidence boost, and one guy at a gas station really gave it to me. The other day I bought an adorable and sexy strapless black dress and black high heels, and today I wore them for my boyfriend to really get his heart racing. I did my hair and makeup perfectly, wore my best shades, and put my best foot forward since I was really looking forward to our romantic date that we had planned. Before I went to go meet him at his house though, I stopped by at a gas station to fill up, and as soon as I stepped out of my car, all the guys stopped and stared (which like most of you know, feels great ) and made me know that I looked as hot as I was going for. One cute guy, who I made eye contact with as soon as I got out of the car, stood there with his mouth wide open and wouldn't stop looking me up and down for the three minutes I was there. I didn't give him much thought since my mind was on the night ahead, but I couldn't help but notice how he kept trying to get closer and closer by almost circling my car (going to the trashcan behind it, walking on the side of my car, standing in front of it, watching me). I admit, it was pretty creepy, but to know that I had that affect on this pretty cute guy felt great since that's exactly what I was going for tonight. It also helped me get through one of the worst dates I've ever had. My "romantic date" that my boyfriend promised me, and the Valentine's day presents that he said that he wanted to give me turned into me sitting on his couch all day, hardly being noticed by him, as him and his best friend sat and chatted it up, and a couple more people came over. Of course I gave him the cold shoulder that screamed "f you" to him for doing this to me and not even letting me know what was going on - I had to over hear them talk about their plans for the night, he never said "hey this is what's going on." I felt unwanted, and undesirable when that's all I wanted to be tonight. Though, I must admit, he and his best friend made everyone dinner, and we watched a movie, but he only said maybe ten things to me the entire night. Needless to say, we had a pretty big fight about it afterward, especially since the past couple months have been pretty bad, and tonight was supposed to be his night of redemption and his way of making up for being a total ass towards me. Although I just wanted to walk out and break up with him on the spot, I didn't. He swore to me to work on all his issues, and to not put me on the back burner as he's been doing, so I just hope that he does, since I can't take much more of this. But being so noticed today right before going over there, made me realize just how true it is that if one guy doesn't treat you right, there are many others who are willing to do so. Keeping that in mind as I sat fuming on his couch for five hours (yes, five hours) really helped me out tonight. So, even though I never thought I'd say this, thanks guys (especially that one) for basically being pigs and making me feel wanted even when my boyfriend didn't. It was greatly appreciated tonight.
musemaj11 Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 (edited) The fact that he doesnt care about you is what makes you keep on coming back in the first place, isnt it? Being a jerk works. Its a proven fact. Im a naturally nice guy, but Im learning to be more of a jerk. Im getting there slowly and it has of course been working out well so far. Edited February 16, 2011 by musemaj11
callingyouuu Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 Hold it to him, though, OP. His actions had better keep up with his words, or you'll be wearing that dress for someone else!
Author Lilmisus Posted February 16, 2011 Author Posted February 16, 2011 The fact that he doesnt care about you is what makes you keep on coming back in the first place, isnt it? Being a jerk works. Its a proven fact. Im a naturally nice guy, but Im learning to be more of a jerk. Im getting there slowly and it has of course been working out well so far. I think you might be right. But it's being a jerk that's going to get me to walk right out the door and never look back if he doesn't try to change - which he said he'll try to try. After our fight he emphasized that he cares about me, didn't try to make me feel unappreciated, I should be his number one priority..etc.. Actions speak louder than words though, ya know?
Fondue Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 I think you're the kind of woman that I would completely avoid. You're objectifying yourself and acting desperate for attention. As a man who finds himself appreciating certain aspects of feminism, you rub me the wrong way. But goodluck with that dood situation of yours !
Author Lilmisus Posted February 16, 2011 Author Posted February 16, 2011 I think you're the kind of woman that I would completely avoid. You're objectifying yourself and acting desperate for attention. As a man who finds himself appreciating certain aspects of feminism, you rub me the wrong way. But goodluck with that dood situation of yours ! If you got that from my post, then alright, I can respect your opinion. I didn't mean to come across that way though (but yea, I know I did) I was just trying to give the wow factor yesterday for my date since my boyfriend and I built it up to be incredibly romantic and a night we thought we wouldn't forget. We spent a while the night before just talking about it, and we were both pretty excited. He promised me the best Valentine's day date, and I told him that I'd dress up for him, and he said he'd do the same. But honestly, I'm a jeans, tank top, and flip flop kind of girl, and that's what he's used to seeing me in, since I like to keep it simple, and I actually don't like to have guys hit on me, so I try to avoid that most of the time. Yesterday I wanted to spice it up, and when I saw the reactions I got, it made me feel like all the effort had been worthwhile. It just hurt that the only guy I wanted to notice and turn his head didn't really look at me. He touched my dress and said it felt pretty nice, but that was basically it, until at the end of the night after our argument when he said his jaw dropped in his head (yea right).
Ms. Joolie Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 My sympathies for your Vday experience. At this point, though, you are so desperate for his attention and his love, why hold on?
xpaperxcutx Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 Don't you hate it when you spent 4 hours on your hair only to have it sit stale in a warm heated room for the next 5? I don't put up with people who make me dress up only to dress down later on. Your bf better own up or you'll be getting those other numbers from potential dates who'll not think twice about taking you.
mo mo Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 4 hours on hair? dude thats like a whole new world to me
xpaperxcutx Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 4 hours on hair? dude thats like a whole new world to me Okay more like 2 hours. The thing is my hair is naturally straight but I like to curl it for special occasions. Unless I'm at the salon getting it prepped by my hairstylist, working an iron curler by myself requires strict and careful concentration ( lest, I want burnt hair). Men should be aware that when we dress up and look like a celebrity on red carpet, we do really go full out. The end results are that we look good, and we make YOU look good.
Ms. Joolie Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 It takes me 3 hours to get from my straight-out-of-bed morning look to my showstopper look, and it's a lifestyle to look like a celebrity. We like to look gorgeous, but we want to be loved!
mo mo Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 Okay more like 2 hours. The thing is my hair is naturally straight but I like to curl it for special occasions. Unless I'm at the salon getting it prepped by my hairstylist, working an iron curler by myself requires strict and careful concentration ( lest, I want burnt hair). Men should be aware that when we dress up and look like a celebrity on red carpet, we do really go full out. The end results are that we look good, and we make YOU look good. ah ha well i guess it isnt much different from getting appreciated for years of going to the gym
Author Lilmisus Posted February 16, 2011 Author Posted February 16, 2011 My sympathies for your Vday experience. At this point, though, you are so desperate for his attention and his love, why hold on? Thanks, and I really don't know. I love him, and that's not reason enough to put up for feeling this way, but I can't help but understand every time he does, or doesn't do something - which I shouldn't even have to do, and he agrees. A huge part of me feels responsible for how it is though, since for first half of our relationship I sat back and let him do whatever he wanted, and tried to just shake it off whenever he did something wrong, and never really said anything, and didn't think that it'd come back and bite me in the butt. I don't think he ever saw that I was hurt whenever he'd do something, because, I never said it hurt me, I'd just smile and move on, since all the advice I ever got was "don't let him see how much it hurts you, guys don't like that" which now I see is a bunch of bs. Now though, I am putting my foot down, and I told him how I've never said that it hurt me before, even though I was upset, and he told me that if I get mad, that he wants me to yell at him and say exactly what's on my mind and not keep it inside any more, like I did last night until the end. So right now, all the issues we've been having through our relationship are just now being let out and worked on, and I would rather work through them than just say "f you, you couldn't tell what was wrong, I'm leaving." Him and I both have a lot of work we need to do to make our relationship work, and that's why I'm holding on, to see if the work we're starting to try will pay out, or not.
Author Lilmisus Posted February 16, 2011 Author Posted February 16, 2011 Don't you hate it when you spent 4 hours on your hair only to have it sit stale in a warm heated room for the next 5? I don't put up with people who make me dress up only to dress down later on. Your bf better own up or you'll be getting those other numbers from potential dates who'll not think twice about taking you. Oh yea! But I don't think I've ever put in four hours for a look unless I was in a show or something of the likes. I actually only spent maybe thirty minutes on it yesterday, since I had an exam I had to take right before going out, and I typically take maybe one hour, at most 1.5 hours. You need to learn some quicker tricks
xpaperxcutx Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 Oh yea! But I don't think I've ever put in four hours for a look unless I was in a show or something of the likes. I actually only spent maybe thirty minutes on it yesterday, since I had an exam I had to take right before going out, and I typically take maybe one hour, at most 1.5 hours. You need to learn some quicker tricks Oh I know, but it was hard when no one close to show me the ropes. I don't consider myself an expert ( yet) but I'm getting there. Did I mention makeup used to take me half an hour? Now I can get ready to go in 10 or less, but I still need to make sure my mascara stays in place and there are no glitter out of place.
Ms. Joolie Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 ...I'm holding on, to see if the work we're starting to try will pay out, or not. I really admire you for putting your foot down and taking responsibility in your relationship. It's so good to hear that you two are talking about these things and working it out. That's a relationship! My concern is that he may not love you as you expect to be loved, or need to be loved. Are you ok with this? Are you ok with receiving whatever love he has to give you? Or do you consider leaving him to find another love?
Author Lilmisus Posted February 16, 2011 Author Posted February 16, 2011 I really admire you for putting your foot down and taking responsibility in your relationship. It's so good to hear that you two are talking about these things and working it out. That's a relationship! My concern is that he may not love you as you expect to be loved, or need to be loved. Are you ok with this? Are you ok with receiving whatever love he has to give you? Or do you consider leaving him to find another love? Thank you, and yes, that's what I believe as well. I feel that a great relationship takes a lot of hard work and if you're not willing to go through the hard work, then you shouldn't be in one. I asked him a few times "are you willing to work, to try harder? Are you sure?" And he told me that he'll definitely try to try to change and work on the issues. I didn't want to be led to believe that he'll try to turn our relationship around if he wasn't going to after all. And I feel that he may feel that way about me in terms of love. In a separate thread I mentioned how he's told me a few times that he loves me and is in love, and I've never said it back towards him, for multiple reasons. A close friend thinks that that's why things have gone so far downhill in the past couple of months - since he doesn't think I love him too. But like I said before, I'm very much in love with him, and if last night went as it was supposed to, then it would have consisted of me expressing my love and appreciation for him like I was planning on doing. But if after all the work that we both put in to improve things, and if he still can't make me feel loved and appreciated as I need to feel, then no, I won't be okay with it, and I will leave him and find someone who can meet my needs and who will take more notice of me than he did last night. But I'd much rather stay with him now and see for sure, then closing this door before finding out, ya know?
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