Big Fight, moved on ALREADY? Help...

[kollindyr]

So over the past month, me and my girlfriend have had a rocky time together.

We have been together for about ~7 months, and both of us have been walking into this relationship with "commitment" in mind. We started out with her working a full time job, and me attending school. I was her "everything", she would make me a priority, and then suddenly school started and things started to slowly but surely change. I have always made her a priority.

 

All fights have taken place in text messages, she lives in a different city, but not too far, maybe 45 minutes, because of different schools.

We had a big fight last week about her lying to me. She lied to me about not coming to see me on Thursday, because she needed to "study" and do "group work". I said it was ok, but then found out she had possible plans to go attend a birthday party dinner.

 

Now, don't get me wrong, I don't care if she goes to the dinner, but I was mad because she lied to me. I take lying seriously.

 

and then, just this past Sunday, we had another big fight. She kept on belittling things that I enjoyed, she knew I enjoyed. I liked basketball, she would say basketball is for pansies. I would listen to a certain music artist, she would say that new music sucks, and her artists from the "older" generations are much better. "Dragonette is nothing but a shadow of Kylie Minogue".

 

She would say "Go Packers!" and I would say "Steelers all the way", a friendly competition, but she would say "Steelers suck cock". So on and so forth, I felt I was being picked on by her and brought it to her attention.

I confronted her and got really angry.

On our previous fight last week, she deleted me from facebook and black berry messenger.

This Sunday, she said she was done after another lengthy fight on the phone, and so I deleted her.

 

The next day, I commuted all the way to her subway station, to give her a letter that I hand wrote, and a box of her favorite chocolates. She could not take it, and she could not look at me. She was turning red, and I couldn't hold her hand. She said I disrespected her, because she told me she didn't want to see me.

 

AND THEN, I found out she was already with another guy that same day at school. Apparently she has kissed him already, and they've been in contact since school started in January (I'm guessing, but they talked occasionally on facebook since start of Feb). She tells her friends I suck the social life out of her, and yet, the only time I've questioned, is when she lied to me.

When I found out, I was furious, I called her names, said she was doing things behind my back.

 

He is the epitome of what she claims she despises. He does weed (she's in a program that doesn't tolerate drugs), he can't type properly, etc. Basically everything she told me she hated, he pretty much is, and does.

 

 

What I am wondering is, is she doing this in spite of me? To get back at me? To fill a void that I created?

I have to see her this Friday to return some of her stuff. Do I talk to her? Or do I hand her, her stuff and move on. I still have feelings for her.

Edited February 9, 2011 by kollindyr

[Ay Diesel T]

So over the past month, me and my girlfriend have had a rocky time together.

We have been together for about ~7 months, and both of us have been walking into this relationship with "commitment" in mind. We started out with her working a full time job, and me attending school. I was her "everything", she would make me a priority, and then suddenly school started and things started to slowly but surely change. I have always made her a priority.

 

All fights have taken place in text messages, she lives in a different city, but not too far, maybe 45 minutes, because of different schools.

We had a big fight last week about her lying to me. She lied to me about not coming to see me on Thursday, because she needed to "study" and do "group work". I said it was ok, but then found out she had possible plans to go attend a birthday party dinner.

 

Now, don't get me wrong, I don't care if she goes to the dinner, but I was mad because she lied to me. I take lying seriously.

 

and then, just this past Sunday, we had another big fight. She kept on belittling things that I enjoyed, she knew I enjoyed. I liked basketball, she would say basketball is for pansies. I would listen to a certain music artist, she would say that new music sucks, and her artists from the "older" generations are much better. "Dragonette is nothing but a shadow of Kylie Minogue".

 

She would say "Go Packers!" and I would say "Steelers all the way", a friendly competition, but she would say "Steelers suck cock". So on and so forth, I felt I was being picked on by her and brought it to her attention.

I confronted her and got really angry.

On our previous fight last week, she deleted me from facebook and black berry messenger.

This Sunday, she said she was done after another lengthy fight on the phone, and so I deleted her.

 

The next day, I commuted all the way to her subway station, to give her a letter that I hand wrote, and a box of her favorite chocolates. She could not take it, and she could not look at me. She was turning red, and I couldn't hold her hand. She said I disrespected her, because she told me she didn't want to see me.

 

AND THEN, I found out she was already with another guy that same day at school. Apparently she has kissed him already, and they've been in contact since school started in January (I'm guessing, but they talked occasionally on facebook since start of Feb). She tells her friends I suck the social life out of her, and yet, the only time I've questioned, is when she lied to me.

When I found out, I was furious, I called her names, said she was doing things behind my back.

 

He is the epitome of what she claims she despises. He does weed (she's in a program that doesn't tolerate drugs), he can't type properly, etc. Basically everything she told me she hated, he pretty much is, and does.

 

 

What I am wondering is, is she doing this in spite of me? To get back at me? To fill a void that I created?

I have to see her this Friday to return some of her stuff. Do I talk to her? Or do I hand her, her stuff and move on. I still have feelings for her.

 

 

I recommend handing her belongings over, and moving on man. She is NOT worth the trouble.

 

Look how fast she moved on man, she already had this guy waiting. She was looking for an excuse to drop you.

 

I know you care for her, alot, but you've got to think LOGICALLY for your OWN BENEFIT. Move on as soon as possible, for YOU. Don't do it to get her back, don't do it to make her jealous, don't do it for any reason except for YOU.

 

You deserve way better than this. Trust me on it.

[kollindyr]

I recommend handing her belongings over, and moving on man. She is NOT worth the trouble.

 

Look how fast she moved on man, she already had this guy waiting. She was looking for an excuse to drop you.

 

I know you care for her, alot, but you've got to think LOGICALLY for your OWN BENEFIT. Move on as soon as possible, for YOU. Don't do it to get her back, don't do it to make her jealous, don't do it for any reason except for YOU.

 

You deserve way better than this. Trust me on it.

 

Thanks man. I really appreciate that, I'm just...

I don't want her to do this to get back at me... and end up hurting herself.

 

I'm always the type of guy that will end up hurting himself, just to make sure others are ok. She is no different.

 

I'm just scared man, I'm scared that she will start talking, or something on Friday, and all my emotions will flow with that...

[Ay Diesel T]

Thanks man. I really appreciate that, I'm just...

I don't want her to do this to get back at me... and end up hurting herself.

 

I'm always the type of guy that will end up hurting himself, just to make sure others are ok. She is no different.

 

I'm just scared man, I'm scared that she will start talking, or something on Friday, and all my emotions will flow with that...

 

I'd hate to see you get sucked back into an unhealthy relationship man. I know you care for her, but look at how she's treating you! Re-read your post, out loud. Why are you sticking around for this? That IS NOT love.

 

Let her do this out of spite, because if she's going to do so, she's going to do so. That much is apparent just by your description of her. I'd rather not toss names around because this is a woman you love. So I'll respect that and tell you that if you truly believe and know in your heart that you deserve better, and if you truly love her - then let her go. If she thinks she can be happy with this guy, let her go and be happy.

 

My ex tore me a new ******* when she left. And it hurt like a mother****er. But looking back on it, even then when she was leaving, I knew she'd be happier, and that's all I ever wanted was for her to be happy. But you've got to worry about YOUR happiness. **** that. **** your GF, **** that guy she's with, and **** all of your GF's ridiculous opinions and foul mouth. You got to get a move on man. How old are you? It doesn't matter, take control of YOUR LIFE.

 

If your GF starts talking, hear her out, see where she's coming from, get your point across, and move on. This woman is not healthy for you, nor any other man who's romantic interest is at stake. Please, consider what I'm telling you...heavily.

[kollindyr]

I'd hate to see you get sucked back into an unhealthy relationship man. I know you care for her, but look at how she's treating you! Re-read your post, out loud. Why are you sticking around for this? That IS NOT love.

 

Let her do this out of spite, because if she's going to do so, she's going to do so. That much is apparent just by your description of her. I'd rather not toss names around because this is a woman you love. So I'll respect that and tell you that if you truly believe and know in your heart that you deserve better, and if you truly love her - then let her go. If she thinks she can be happy with this guy, let her go and be happy.

 

My ex tore me a new ******* when she left. And it hurt like a mother****er. But looking back on it, even then when she was leaving, I knew she'd be happier, and that's all I ever wanted was for her to be happy. But you've got to worry about YOUR happiness. **** that. **** your GF, **** that guy she's with, and **** all of your GF's ridiculous opinions and foul mouth. You got to get a move on man. How old are you? It doesn't matter, take control of YOUR LIFE.

 

If your GF starts talking, hear her out, see where she's coming from, get your point across, and move on. This woman is not healthy for you, nor any other man who's romantic interest is at stake. Please, consider what I'm telling you...heavily.

 

I hear you man, I hear you. I'm 20 years old attending University.

I know she treats me bad, and while I'm still grieving about our relationship, it is good to know when to let go. You've helped alot with your opinion.

 

Goodluck to that man, and goodluck to the rest of her life.

[jnj express]

Hey K---why are you trying to force a relationship----she has moved on----if you can't see it---go back and re-read what you wrote----

 

This is over---why don't you just date, and enjoy life for the next 5 yrs., or so.

 

Mge./relationships, are not easy---they take a lot of work, and Long Distance situations, are even harder----just go out and have a good time.

 

Put this girl out of your mind, and stop obsessing over her, it is now water under the bridge!!!!

[kollindyr]

Hey K---why are you trying to force a relationship----she has moved on----if you can't see it---go back and re-read what you wrote----

 

This is over---why don't you just date, and enjoy life for the next 5 yrs., or so.

 

Mge./relationships, are not easy---they take a lot of work, and Long Distance situations, are even harder----just go out and have a good time.

 

Put this girl out of your mind, and stop obsessing over her, it is now water under the bridge!!!!

 

Good point. I've been thinking about things, and "what if" etc... well, you know what, I need to move on.

 

As the days go by, it's getting easier, I'm enjoying the freedom. Being able to talk with women, and hang out with the guys. It's definitely getting better. I just need to give her stuff to her tomorrow, and I'll be done!

[Ay Diesel T]

Good point. I've been thinking about things, and "what if" etc... well, you know what, I need to move on.

 

As the days go by, it's getting easier, I'm enjoying the freedom. Being able to talk with women, and hang out with the guys. It's definitely getting better. I just need to give her stuff to her tomorrow, and I'll be done!

 

This is just me but I'd drive by her house and throw her **** out on her lawn, **** seeing her face to face lol...you're trying to move on, not put up with more of her bull****.

[iJester]

Don't give it to her in person. Leave a box for her or something outside. Go complete no contact with her. This is the type that is going to come back at some point; probably in a few months after you've had time to start moving on and forget about how bad this feels right now, and would be vulnerable to taking her back...don't give her the opportunity. Delete her from any possible form of contact.

[kollindyr]

This is just me but I'd drive by her house and throw her **** out on her lawn, **** seeing her face to face lol...you're trying to move on, not put up with more of her bull****.

 

Hahaha, bro, I so would, but I'm gonna be the gentleman in this situation. + I have much respect for her mother. She treated me very well. Haha, she had the nerve to ask me to drop it on a weekday, when I have class in which I pay thousands for, she can pick up her own **** in MY city!

 

 

Don't give it to her in person. Leave a box for her or something outside. Go complete no contact with her. This is the type that is going to come back at some point; probably in a few months after you've had time to start moving on and forget about how bad this feels right now, and would be vulnerable to taking her back...don't give her the opportunity. Delete her from any possible form of contact.

 

Yeah, she probably will, but then again, she talks about her ex-boyfriends as nothing. As in, her ex boyfriends "loved" her, but she never showed any interest in. She told me that when we were together, and she's telling her friends that about me now. She's a girl, tells me she knows what she wants, yet, she doesn't know what she wants.

 

I need a woman, not a girl.

[Ay Diesel T]

Hahaha, bro, I so would, but I'm gonna be the gentleman in this situation. + I have much respect for her mother. She treated me very well. Haha, she had the nerve to ask me to drop it on a weekday, when I have class in which I pay thousands for, she can pick up her own **** in MY city!

 

 

 

 

Yeah, she probably will, but then again, she talks about her ex-boyfriends as nothing. As in, her ex boyfriends "loved" her, but she never showed any interest in. She told me that when we were together, and she's telling her friends that about me now. She's a girl, tells me she knows what she wants, yet, she doesn't know what she wants.

 

I need a woman, not a girl.

 

Oh brother, please. Knows what she wants? Lmao! She sounds like a huge _ _ _ _, I'll give you a hint - it rhymes with punt.

 

You're better off without her. If it's her mother you respect, kindly give her stuff back while she is away, and her mother is there. Do whatever you can to avoid this broad - for the rest of the existing male population.

[kollindyr]

Oh brother, please. Knows what she wants? Lmao! She sounds like a huge _ _ _ _, I'll give you a hint - it rhymes with punt.

 

You're better off without her. If it's her mother you respect, kindly give her stuff back while she is away, and her mother is there. Do whatever you can to avoid this broad - for the rest of the existing male population.

 

Oh believe me man, I called her all sorts of names including words rhyming with punt, pitch, glut, shore, etc. you get the point

 

She is one big hypocrite

[Ay Diesel T]

Oh believe me man, I called her all sorts of names including words rhyming with punt, pitch, glut, shore, etc. you get the point

 

She is one big hypocrite

 

*Hands OP sword and shield*

 

You're going to need it for the wailing Loveshack banshees headed your way.

 

*Ducks off into the shadows*